thinking back to how i let a friend down in need... as the memory recalls how there was no one there for me... damn, i held on for way too fuckin long... thinking if i was a friend first she'd see how luv would never steer her wrong... then reality dug in to the acceptance of how i wanted her to be someone she had no interest in being in my eyes... the changed transformed into a visual that blew my mind... as the feeling of fear to let go was willing to release a foe who turned on every once of luv u could possibly give... as i stood back up n stopped fighting a beast i had no reason to try n tame as i jus wanted to live... yet, i remind myself every now n again of what a friend truly is jus by looking at her face... jus bcuz i've gained a truth to the story no ones knows as their a difference to the sound of her name... n it helps in times where alone sucks the life outta nights jus wanting to go to sleep... settling the mind not from wanting the bond back but the emptiness from the other side of the bed's cling... tugging on worth damn near goin to waste other than self having a respect to maintain for a better cause... so lost isn't so bad as it's a minor misplacement that assures home is in the heart as it is no longer flawed... plagued by the selfishness of another wanting their way living a lifestyle that ripped everything apart... i never thought i'd eve bounce back for it took years to regain myself after falling so fuckin hard... as it's been toodles for some time now with the reassurance of life bouncing to a more enjoyable vibe... owning the thoughts hanging new comforts on the walls of a corrected state mind...
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