i tried...

on my own with nothing but time staring me down on my grind... dodging luv n on the run, hoping i cannot be found listening to the same ol played out lines... done with the emotional disasters that twist the fuckin thrill into a bitterness that loses within questions of why's... there's no need in desires forming a passion to spill that ain't meant to last a lifetime... creating the end of relations tapped out before i realize i was so far gone to even attempt believing in endless lies... no i ain't looking to be tied to attachments that always go left of center n so wrong enjoyments fade with the hype... as i don't wanna awaken one day to fall into the space that changes the other side of the bed's dive... as empty as the feel of the heart stuck in the middle of life so cold n damn near half dead as pain tries to hide... wishing strangers would've keep it moving for they seem to all wanna act so fuckin crazy when the breakdown slides... n it's a mental laziness that lacks the comprehension of trusts use they can't trade with me so to gain an interest has become a thorn in my very own spine... for i drift in my own distance turning away from stares trying to catch some sorta attention i cannot give to an unknown straggler wanting me to open up the chests new smell of pine... i'm jus too busy smiling to get caught up in such foolishness for i jus wanna live without the capture of me taking flight... n i have too many promises to remember hung on the walls that have no more meaning in my mind... i need not add to the confirmation that i'm on some other shit n in luv with me as my only one claimed as mine... with birds that don't even give a fuck to fly due to another's eagerness of an explanation i have yet to feel as their right... i do not reside on the other side of depths spiraling outta control as i am content without the confusions forced to sigh... staring into what awaits as a new choice to remain as single as each breath taken to feel alive... back to square one bcuz i failed me by giving into a face i believed was different like all the others chasing pride...