I can feel it.
It's hard to keep calm.
Shit jus ain't right.
Gripped within tightened palms.
It wants to live.
Yet the suppression holds character.
With it's agitation rippin me apart.
As I'm the one I dare.
Get ur shit together.
I'm fuckin tryin.
It's not good enough.
N I'm constantly sighin.
I don't wanna be in here beneath this smile.
Unable to speak.
N I need an outlet.
Somehow I need to leak.
Hidin behind a grin that screams.
I'm comin undone.
As the fight squeezes my heart.
Life is no longer fun.
The good went that way.
It fuckin left.
N I breathe in a pant.
Givin my fuckin best.
Anxieties kickin in.
Panic mode is laughin at me.
I get outta here.
I'm trapped in my own unseen.
It's alive n I'm consumed.
Livin with my truths.
As they ache quietly.
Beatin me plum dumb through.
Its rage could my blood.
Puttin into what I've never gotten outta life.
I'm slippin.
N there's nowhere to hide.
It pokes at me.
Pushin me to my point.
Shit jus ain't goin right no matter what I do.
N I'm trippin on the void.
I feel Mr. stupid inside wantin to act out.
He's reachin for the surface.
N I'm dyin inside.
Damn near losin my purpose.
I'm goin for broke without a thing to lose.
N my pockets have a hole.
Standin alone in my mind.
Thinkin free in it's fold.
My give a fucks are spent.
As focus is again at risk.
There ain't shit I can do that seems like enough.
As my growl is angered n pist.
Somehow I've become so fuckin lost.
As I refuse the hands to make me right again.
No one can see my hidden relentless struggle.
Chokin my livelihood bound by invisible restraints.
Yet I feed on the pains laughter.
Damn near handicapped to the conditions.
N my pride coaches me on.
Leavin me gazin at my reflection.
Knowin I'm in there somewhere.
Cuz what I see isn't n could never be the real me.
Disoriented n fastened to endless days.
The cripplin effect had my blood releasin steam.
N I cannot get outta this alone.
Breakin for times score.
I need me to gather what's left in stride.
Let me go!
What the fuck else can possible be in store?
Let loose of the lil bit that's fightin this fuckin battle.
Will it ever end?
As everyone thinks shit seems to be ok.
Only if they knew what I defend.
Doors would fly off the hinges.
Truth is my best has me at the bottom.
With a weight I try to shed.
Where good times jus won't blossom.
Drown in in my own sweat I drift.
Into thoughts I cannot shake.
For it's me that I miss.
Holdin back the tears sinkin rage.
Awaitin to be freed.
Diggin for strength.
But I ain't beggin with pleads.
Down bounces up eventually.
Yet tellin that to myself is another thing.
It's been to long since I've tasted the ease.
I'm tired of waitin on what tomorrow will bring.
I've given my all n the reward is harsh.
Leanin into my pillow fallin away.
My desire of life jus isn't met.
But I do what I can to remain respectfully drained.
Interests are peeled one by one.
Bare minimum is on the line of goin under.
Shit is subject to change right?
It always does is the hunger.
Starvin to feast with the gluttons before me.
But I can't catch a break.
Wtf is it I'm doin so fuckin wrong?
I feel like my worth has been raped.
N I'm climbin the walls in my mind.
Leadin up to the floor.
Beneath my feet I trample my own.
As emotions pour.
I'm to good for this unnecessary bs.
Set me a sail.
Lemme get to my callin.
Cuz I'm dyin in my pits.
Watchin everything around me stallin.
Plagued til death I've been poisoned.
Tainted n taunted.
I've adjusted to this fuckin tune.
A way out is all that's wanted.
To rise up from within this hell.
Before I'm to far gone.
Wasted here on the other side of reality.
Floatin in my depression where I do not belong.
My reasonin is as real as air.
N I'm frustrated beyond my limits.
Standin on a different kinda form.
Bustin through my rivets.
The threads of my seams are in need of repair.
I've been wearin this smile for to fuckin long.
It doesn't even fit my face anymore.
Ooh the sound that's the severity of my song.
As my depths have been touched.
N my mind has turned on me.
Shuttin down on everything but.
A drive that won't allow me to dream.
Is this what my life has become?
Cuz I refuse to accept this shit.
I will not be captured this way!
Yet no one will ever read unspoken words that'll never touch my lips.
N out goes on with timeless fashion.
But that's the one thing I'm runnin out of.
My pine is halfway here.
As my moans grunt...