Goin all out...

Mentally disoriented.
Seems the snap jus wasn't enough.
There's somethin seriously wrong.
I feel the splinters of my crutch.
Fallin deep within.
Losin the only thing any of us have.
The minds found the sweet spot.
Confused in the silences that fade n entertain.
Standin at the crevasses' edge.
Lookin down into the pit.
It sees the heart as the enemy.
N I don't know if it can be fixed.
I'm so far gone.
Idk if I can return.
The pain is the poisons high.
Absorbed within shallow words.
Who's ever who?
Damn, fuck, shit.
What the #@*% am i?
I'm losin it.
The grip is damn near gone.
Reality is slippin away.
N my guess is it's self at fault.
I'll take the blame.
Faces change.
Pages fill.
Places move.
Shiftin for the thrill.
The feelin hates the thought.
Sent from above.
In true form.
Cashed out on luv.
Spent is patience.
Stronger yet weakenin.
It's jus bout that time.
Cuz actions r deceivin.
Gettin lost in the split.
Ripped into a crack.
I'm slippin on it's cliff.
Dyin to face the facts.
Lips only form what's needed to be heard.
As sound is in the distance.
Behind the back echoin.
N there's no resistance.
Down goes big man.
Favored to stand in a new days glory.
But no one knows.
The other side of the story.
Playin games with intensions.
On the darker side of a grin.
Can it be seen?
It's what the shade hides in.
Attemptin to relate the shadow of a friend.
Unable to surface.
It's a distraction to say the least.
Makin luv out to be worthless.
The breakin point had been repaired.
Now more damaged than ever.
It is what it is..
N what it ain't is me gettin better.
Deadlines can't be erased.
Once motive appears in time.
For it's the only way to know.
At the drawn line.
If I can even respond to life the same.
Cuz nothin is jus that.
As I'm barely standin within frame.
There's to much goin on upstairs.
I'm fightin who it is i am.
Forgettin one set aside.
Is it happenin once again?
I feel as crazy as a fuckin loon.
Helpless.
Dysfunctionally misunderstood.
Refusin what fakes the happiness.