It's not til u feel life touch u. That u realize there's nothin left to say. Cuz no matter what drips from ur lips tryin to be understood. It'll only make u sound as if ur crazy. Yet even though ur on a whole other level, what made sense, corrupted who u were. A follower tryin to lead the way. But it's not til reality stands before u that u witness who u really have become. Who u r. N u don't know yourself the way u thought u did. It's harsh n valuable all in the same. N even though others look at u as if ur nuts. U know u broke the barriers in ur mind that hold u back. In rare form shakin ur head cuz it doesn't seem anyone understands. The only way to truly find yourself is jus after u feel ur mind snap. Awakened in a new vision that missin self is no longer an issue. It's jus that self is actually alone. Stand inside yourself n feel yourself. That's all we have. Until its checkout time. The brutal happiness of knowin what it means to be alive is insanity. To live free n alert to the bs is puttin up with it before it even exists. Cookoo to say the least, but it makes perfect sense in a raw mind that's flushed out what had been forced to believe. Nothin is what it appeared to be as that look comes sneakin up on ur face like u don't know whether to smile or cry. As ur asked, r u ok? A constant reminder that u lost it. But gained so much more. Simply to far gone to be reached anymore. Distant yet well with it. Trapped in ur own mind.