Only if the dog could see me now... Redirected n confident as usual standin proud... Up off all fours n still hard af to get... Guess some shit is jus a needed twist... Peepin without the third eye tucked away... That mo fo gets me into too much trouble needless to say... N I can still feel the growl from within wantin to play... Yet I take a looksie about n wonder why the interest is directed my way... Only ones every lingered on deep in my heart's feel... N that even dripped with the emotion that came through as real... Different ages in faces came along to fill time tryin to enjoy a lil sum sum... As the man still walks the mut that feels the need to sniff out what others call luv... In tune with a balance of reasons of why I should seek those passionate moments as like to get to using... As his paws in the other direction gets to movin... It seems the hooch has seen a lil to much... But even he wants to roll over jus to be touched... Thinkin don't do it bcuz we have attachment issues... N we've lived that life too many times of bein a tad bit past loose... Then again that isn't a lie... For the truth is good n it does fill a line... As time sits waitin for me n my best friend to unit here in this crazy azz life... All bcuz I've had my share of moments that passed me by... N I'm too afraid to get close enough to le em in... As the beast calls out to play again... But that shit got me nowhere breakin hearts that need not to be broken... Therefore it is why I switched things up for luv to be outspoken... Tellin myself I could use a friend... One in which even I would bend... As it's back to me once again sittin here in my thoughts speakin up... Believin in one thing n that's my own heart is way too soft buried in luv...

Words flow to relate... Yet if they were to tell the depths of truths you'd prolly understand the expression upon my face... Jus wantin to come out n play from somewhere you've prolly neva seen... On an elevated level goin down on ur dreams makin breaths pant as u release ur need... As sexuality isn't the only thing offered from the tips of my fingers findin their way along ur curves... It be that thought that's been hiding on the hidden hush that finally gets heard... Comin atcha with more than one way to ease pleasure into ur life for it mind to make room... As u fall to the touch connected ever so softly to the way u move... Pullin apart letters to make sounds like ooooh n aaaah... Confrontin reason u stand alone as ur world I'd rock... Yet if I wasn't to speak n jus act upon my need of u in my life ready n willin... You'd find me by ur side unconditionally as no matter what jus chillin... That is when what's not to be heard is seen lookin back at me as I see me in the iris of ur beautiful eyes that simply cannot look away... As the sound of it alone makes me wanna say ur name... Moanin u a tune in sync with the way u verbally lose the to mutter the english comprehension as u play with ur own tone... neva again to be alone...

If I were to believe in u would it help u understand the way u see me starin at u the way I do..? Lost in ur eyes with careful whispers running across ur lips as if breaths were coming to life damn near mute... Neva speakin of lies that fade from the truths that get in the way of honesty held so close... If I were to refuse to move to the side to be seen as who I am wanting a moment of ur time... Would it be the difference u chant behind closed doors to yourself when ur alone goin over all the complications in ur mind..? For I'm jus one individual that seeks the motion of luv holding ur hand n cuddlin up jus to lay beside u in comforts twist... As slow movements find ur skin with that unique kinda pitter patter of my lonely kiss... Thinking this could be it, that one thing we all hope to find before it's too late of becomin to independent for our own good... Jus tell me now if u could or even would or even if u should... If I were to show u something different in which most men haven't a clue on what they jus can't seem to figure out... Bcuz I believe in those emotions that linger within goin well beyond word of mouth...

Held to faults tryin to do the right thing... Misunderstood turnin the wrong way taking another hit to the heart like ding ding as an indent causin another dent... All in not lookin for a handout bcuz a freebie jus doesn't make any sense... It's a damn if I do, damned if I don't due to always been on the defense... N it seems to be the reality of it jus gave the fuck up jus to be free... The fuckin thing jus had no reason to cling to the unjustified needs... As giving a friend to count on is neva remembered as why real... That's when the turn walks away knowin there's nothing about u they can feel...

It's that tender texture upon the tongue... That yummy shit sittin wiggle that'll make u wanna fall in luv... The only rare meat worth tastin that has a flava that comes as is... That down south feel moistened with a touch that'll make u crave its feel... Fuckin ya mind up on the visual alone will have u dropping to ur knees as u kneel... Taste buds blazin at ur licker flings from ur mouth... Moanin back like ur communicatin in some other international language jus makin sounds... N they come in ounces to lbs dependin on how much u can eat... Digging in to the dive jus to lick it jus before u get scissor locked in between them thighs as u cannot breathe... Jus to perfect the skill that wets the whistle as if thirtsy af... Jus bcuz we like to f..... Fuck fb... Lmao

I'm tryin to figure out what is it that can make ur reality so sad... All I can find is it's a selfishness that lingers into ur heart as ur thoughts lose focus n drives u mad... U believe in higher powers yet cry when those around u parish as if ur afterlife doesn't exist... N to me that's some confusin azz bs... Jus take ur mindset of partin ways with someone who was closer to u than u ever thought they'd be... Goin on into ur separate lives as if what jus was wound up in ya dreams... There's a heartache that occurs as you've already weighted out ur options to move on... N yet u still cry when u know everything is subject to change for what was goin on... The pain n the hurt took over as u knew it had to come to an end... I jus don't get it bcuz they'd be with u if they were what they said u were to them as a friend... It's like there's no thought process to evaluate the way this world teaches people to be... As I'm over here like wtf tryin to explain to myself the goofiness before me... Thoughtless wonders plugin up the arteries so that unfortunate feel has something to talk about... Jus count me out...

Don't make me chase u... It's not like I wouldn't wanna... U see I can't help but the keep it real with the truths... N running after u is one of those things that Idk if ur even gonna... N u take the pick of what it is I'm tryin to say... Only u know what's goin on in the timing of ur head... Rattle rattle tink tink... I ain't tryin to see u go in the middle of a bouncin blink... I ain't followin u anywhere u wanna wind up when u don't know where in the fuck ur goin... I'm good right here without the emotions bein torn... Bcuz it's the mind that suffers the most behind the scenes where life happens the most... I wanna somewhere friends kick it n throw up toasts... So for all the fuckery of dippin n dodgin for ur own better cause... Chalk me up as a loss... Bcuz I ain't playin with the possibility of dyin before my body rests on peace... So please, if ur runnin, leave me be...

If u think there's anything other than life in this world to lose as a loss ur state of mind is fucked up n u can stay the fuck away from me... I don't need that type of shit in my life for the it's inability to be real with the facts that are as obvious as the air we breathe...

I jus wanna play with ur mind like, what's this lever do.!? N find the reasonable answers to all ur confused clues... So I can confuse u to with my train of thought gettin loose... Takin about woooooo....

Goin inwards to recall who it is I can count on... Who's stood their grounds n who's failed to care enough to help me to where I need to be goin... I see draggin feet n the lack of interest when I peek back on times that shoulda been better times... So whatcha gonna do when u only have very few that ain't jus talkin jive..? Shit, lookin into the rewind of my mind I find my worth when I remember the occurances that led to this point in my life... N there ain't been more than a handful that's shown truths in a friendship that stands as real as air flowin on by... The faces take sides as I'm witness to the separation dividin what at some point I refused to believe... N there's more than what's needed on the wrong side of proof as the numbers are growin deeper than the need... N yeah, emotion kicks in n reminisces whether it be a friend a luv'r or lost family... All wrapped up in my happiness that used to be shared in smiles that neva pulled through... Seems in the middle of it all they had forgotten about who's who... N this world wonders why my head's on tilt n I push back... Maybe it's bcuz of the weight of those I've cared for that's shifted to the left side of my mind livin in the past... As I stand erect like a boner to the right with the ones that's as nuts as I am to relate... N this is me as of late...  Takin steps n shakin hands with those thoughts findin peace within... Tryin to grab ahold of the grip as lips release the flip side of my neva endin rib... Excitin mentally what only returns as it did before I did it in... Comin to terms with were stuck together n they're buried in pieces of my grin...

Why is it they think I'mma bad guy..? What's so wrong with a man that jus wants something real... We all have limits to the madness... I ain't neva purposely hurt how they feel... Yet there's times I can't help how I react... I'm not a deliberate person by far... Yeah I get attached n don't wanna see em go... N I don't jus play the part... As I'm not placin blame on no one... Shit happens but why am I the azzhole for standin for what's right..? Human is human n I'd jus like to understand for once... I need some answers so I can get at life...

If u were to take a physical presence preferred n add in the mental capability of emotional control with a right amount of twisted humor... You'd have the perfect woman... But I betcha they'd say the same thing about us...

Bits of the itty bitty...

It's in that moment of hold the fuck up... Wait a fuckin minute... Naaaah, hell nah!!! That's when u know it ain't luv...

The only loss is life... Anything else is only an emotion fuckin with the mind...



I'd rather be fake n let u be real so u can get a feel for it til roles flip back to norm knowin the deal...

I don't say it much...
But ilu...
I don't know what I'd do without u...
Yeah, I luv myself...

One ducat, two ducats, three ducats, four, where's the money at, I need more!!!

When u don't believe in so much of the goofiness taught as commands the mind opens up...

We all jus wanna have a good time... So ease the fuck up...

If u give me a chance you'll see the man within me awoken... Proof needs a chance to live so luv can be outspoken... Physically n verbally as the communication is on that level... Til side by side buried beneath the dig of shovels... Evidence of the real thing that could neva die... Finding out who the fuck is who deep inside... The full package with the mindset to maneuver through space n time together as best friends so alive... Without a fuckin thing to hide...

When ur heart steps in front of ur mind n refuses to move so the understanding is relevant to communicate between the two... No words are needed bcuz they relate on the same level callin a truce n becoming friends so they n u can live in peace through n through...

They want it to be more but they're psychotic n pull bs outta their heads... Ain't nothin about em eva stood in front of me n meant what they said... Gettin to the point of don't call me back eva... Losin a friend I thought was foreva... Seems they feel a certain way when u stand ur ground... Opened up as an individual ur not suppose to make a sound... That's the way they think it's really suppose to go... Til life as we know it folds up n flees to find something that resembles a home... On the flip side of luv not a one of em know how to act... There's no balance in between the mental state n emotional attacks... N from what I've seen I ain't believin in corrupted dreams... Wantin my mind on a chain to please their needs... As every one of em finds themselves goin on somewhere else with that... I jus ain't got time for anything other than the facts... Tryin to play off my feelins bcuz they know I care... But there's something about their friendship that neva seems fair... Losin the tongue to outlandish twists... Fuckin the thought process up with what's released from their lips... Always actin like they don't give a fuck... Doin more damage in the middle of luv... Then turnin it around like I gotta kiss their azz... Yeah, I'll be damned if I don't tally up everytime I've been bashed... The shit is crazy the way they want so much... Yet the woman they say they are neva holds up... Or maybe they thought I was Superman or some shit like that... Guess that's why I wake up alone with my head intact... Interactin with a more comfortable way of life... All bcuz their only in luv with themselves n that overrated hype... Unable to dig in n see something better flourish jus don't cross their minds... As they fail to realize it's not only their life... Walkin next to em they forget that a friendship is why relations last... N I got a few too many left in the past... Demented behind there selfish reasons of why... They don't believe in someone who actually fuckin tries... It's the abuse they attach themselves to n why they ain't nothin but drama... Pullin a man outta character to feed their insomnia... Bcuz their mind neva rests til they get what they want... N I ain't for the ol fuck shit that they call luv... There ain't shit u can do for em bcuz they need help... Don't let em tare u down without bein felt... Even if u gotta walk the fuck away... Own ya mind knowin u ain't gotta stay...

Luv n it's feel

Mind me in ya thoughts n I'll bring joy to ur heart in a way the feelin will simply jus wanna stay alive comin from within to be seen back into the reflection of my eyes so u can see yourself happy af... Talkin about luv...

Only if the real individual from within would rise to the expression upon the face beggin to be felt... Then maybe we'd actually see each other as that long lost help... Ain't a damn one of us anything less than the next claimin to be the difference... Unless the mind actually has control n can be seen with it's unselfish independent deliverance...

U ever sat with the corner of ur eye leakin a single tear knowin ur doin all u can... Yet u can't ask for help... N when u seek it, every turn around winds up applyin more weight than u can carry... Knowin it ain't shit n u cannot break jus bcuz u don't know how to ever give up... The thought alone of it jus don't make any fuckin sense to the train of thought that continues to push through with a fuckin drive that feels that lone drop clingin to the moment it falls n frees u of the struggle that's climbed up upon u jus to reach for ur chuckle callin u out... Squeezin ur strength as it ain't shit to breathe and u continue to live n luv with a smirk jus bcuz ur still fuckin alive... Let that fuckin tear dangle bcuz it's the one thing that'll find joy when everything falls into place n that's a fact... I hold mine close n let it play in the rain as it comes down to mingle with the emotions drippin from my face I to hide... Like a lil kid findin comfort in the way we learn of life... N there ain't shit that can faze me the way it would u... I say bring it bcuz I've felt the bottom where I couldn't stretch out at night to sleep with a dream cut outta my mind not knowin where home was... N that mutha fucka is still runnin away even as I speak like it has somethin I want... Lmao... Yet I bet it doesn't know wants ain't got shit on needs... N all I'll ever need is to fuckin breathe... I got me... N ain't neva left no one outta reach at the bottom where no one fuckin cares bcuz I have... Even with my own reality goin to what u may consider a waste... As in my world materials ain't shit when character stands its ground... Yeah, misunderstood came into play but those moistened moments only molded a better understandin within... Collectin the friend like no other with myself... Tryin to be a friend to another... Yet I still ain't perfect by far... But I'm willing to learn n be good to those that can't see me for who I truly am... Yeah, let it sit there... Allow it to slowly ease its way out to be seen... It ain't a sign of weakness... It's real... N it's how u use it to gain yourself from the choices u make... As I personally ain't neva lived a normal life... But it's my normal with every decision to find my peace in this world... My piece of what makes me me... Even if it takes me on a ride to gather the memories it took to earn them n for some reason or another jus to have to let it go... It's called life n I'm up for the task... So what's next on the agenda that'll tickle more than my pickle n touch yet another sprinkle caught up in the wells of my time... I ain't scared... I jus wanna live... Knowin everything is subject to change n eventually will... Life's a blast... It's what u make of it... Not what u have!!!

It's ok to kiss her azz here n there even if ur wrong... It'll only show her ur bigger than the situation n what the time spent between y'all means as wantin her in what's left of a lifetime together... That is if ur on that level... If u can man up... If u can admit it doesn't matter who's wrong bcuz we're all human n we fuck up... There's a truth about the facts one can learn from if they're willin to grow as an individual instead of a selfish prick always lookin after self feelin good about themselves with materialitics... The only true thing that matters to a woman is for her to know ur her friend no matter what... n your tryin to do right by her at the same time bein yourself... If she can see through u it's a good thing in a sense of she knows there's nothing to question n bad by no depths... Knowin in which way she looks at u is determined by the truth in ur constant actions that makes everything about her a priority in ur life... Even if it means u gotta bend a lil more to keep a mature playing feild it's no ones business but urs n hers... N even with speakin on opposing genders it applies no matter who u luv... Be an adult n man up... There's more to life than always thinkin about yourself bcuz if she's as real as the way u come at her, u ain't got shit to worry about... Check it... Next time y'all have a difference of opinions, jus look at her n tell her ilu... N do it to tell her it doesn't matter bcuz we all have improvements to do... Straight or gay or one of the various shades we come in... We have differences that speak upon who we are... N to relate with luv... Priceless!!!

If I go hard will u match my efforts??? Maybe jus ease in n find me as comfort... Think of a new way to explode on impact... Show u the real me displayed in facts... Gettin beneath it skin to loosen u up... If I dabble in the way u claim ur luv... Opened to the imprint holdin ur very open heart... Tryin to figure out how to help u play ur cards... Silently caterin to the moment of comin undone... Would u reach for me if i were the one??? Poundin on ur chest to let me the fuck in... All bcuz I know I'm good enough to raise ur grin... With hands on feelin my way along the curves that makes ur frame... As the irresistible temptation wants to touch ur face,. Planting a kiss to make it in the time we have left... If I were to come to u with my best...

Done with the selfishness...

No more broken women to give me something to do... I don't need to stay that busy comin unglued... Time ain't got the patience to settle their hearts... N mine isn't with the effort for their issues to play the part... No more females lookin at me jus to tare me down... Takin my efforts which is more than they're willin to give jus to pick my feelings up of the ground... My minds lost a fuck to give to their misplaced luv... Jus needin a lil of my time with empty promises with a push n a tug... No more dams callin my name in the wind that ain't got shit to offer... Bcuz my heart needs a more steady beat with a touch much softer... No more gals that claim what actions cannot hold their own... Fallin backwards ain't no fun no matter how far in they've grown... The rip has engraved an r.i.p. behind my eyes... Yeah I can tell now what quality is as I polish my shine... No more girls claimin they can have what I can prove to give... Thing is I jus wanna fuckin live... Luv to the fullest without having to watch my back... N I don't believe that's too fuckin much to ask!!!

Happiness will never leave... N a friend will crave to give to that need... Neva losin sight of what's real before the eyes... Findin comfort in the unchained mind... Natural is the way it flows bcuz one jus can't help but to feel like step into luv n come alive... Fallin short of breaths in the middle of sighs... Kissed with luv at will neva able to get enough... Peeling clothes from the hidden intent to be touched... N unwindin the heart settin it free... Bcuz if they are who they say they are you'll feel that ease... Bettering ur life... Layin with u behind the nights hype... Claimin mine n showing the truths of neva walking away... Down to fuckin stay!!!

I luv listening to Teddy pendergrass n writing...

It's jus how it is n how I fuckin feel...

Steppin backwards ain't on the way this shit goes... The mind ain't got a switch stuck on reset so know ur roll... Backin me down will only get u slapped in the face... N I've had guns pulled on me as I dared my fuckin fate... A death wish mindset so no u can neva fuckin relate... Shit works differently in my head n unlike u I cannot escape... Don't force the issue for me to defend who I am bcuz ur reality is fake... I'll set u straight quick n turn n walk the fuck away... N if u wanna keep goin the sense in u will fly from ur mouth on the first warning to shut the fuck up... Ain't no one this way got time to suck ur azz all puckered up... Death don't scare me for I'm goin in a box... I won't know I'm there so u can go fuck off... We are not the same n u will never cross over... So stay in ur lane or over u I'll hover... N it's not the way I wanna live bcuz it takes my patience time to get to that point... I'mma give u the benefit of the doubt yet when the time is up ur gonna feel my void... I ain't causin my self no harm tryin to make the best decision for me... N I'm cool with shit but I'll be a mutha fuck if I'mma get down on my knees... Humble n kind n goofy AF... N I don't have a problem with tellin u to shut the fuck up... When the shit gets to deep n u start believin the lies feedin into the bs... I'll stand on mine bcuz I truly don't care to live... Even though I'm in luv with life in its own spinnin outra control... N ah Nah, hell no, my heart u cannot hold... It's been tampered with n ur gonna havta show me why claim to be a friend... I don't believe in anything but the unwanted end...

There's one thing about waking up knowin everything leadin up to this point in life is fine... Even with the heads motion that some shit is nothin more than a memory that's caught a snag deep within mind... N when the thoughts pop up u know u don't havta deal with the bs as u have the option to think of somethin else... Yeah, there's jus somethin about the chuckle of it jus before ur over it that does a lil more than that healin help... Everything is subject to change as friends will forever forget the good intent... Yet rest easy n let em roll of the tongue with a goodbye that follows the time that seemed to be worth it spent... U had ur moment as hearts n minds felt n feel the process that's slipped into a day dream nowadays from time to time... Jus don't stay single to far past that want for it'll find a groove of me me me with an emptiness unable to enjoy life... There's somethin in the way of openin the eyes come mornin though... Knowin last night the pillow is all u had to hold... As the single life gives a piece of freedom away from the twist that relations eventually claim... Rights n wrongs n dos n don'ts that somehow fuck everything up n it jus doesn't remain the same... All bcuz mindsets differ in their own reality n it takes a while to figure out the flava spit from the lips... Awakenin to what am I gonna do today without my sidekck as another one will soon come along n hopefully not be missed... N there's no need in blamin the world when it's the individuals that get sidetracked bcuz they can't remember who someone is to them... As the drift every now n again winds up back then...

Let's trade imaginations n play around... I wanna do some shit u ain't neva thought of... U can feel free to do what u wanna do with mine... Swap our untouched spaces that ain't neva once been seen in the mind n see where it goes... Jus dive in n run wild with whatever it is u have been wanting to do... Simply jus enjoy all those things u put on hold... Bcuz I'mma get at it til u feel me comin to life... N I hope u can open it up n fulfill yourself of what cannot be told... I jus wanna get closer than what can be thunk n roam behind ya reality givin u a change of mind... U can gimme a new twist I ain't neva peeked a boo that cannot resist ya time... Mmm, jus to see ur eyes roll up into ur head n watch me turn off the lights... Listenin to u say oh my...

It depends on the way u think about it... If u can wrap ur mind around that fact that u did all u could to move into a positive motion n shit... As the thought of the bs gone connects with ur smiles form... Freein the heart through the mind to keep it movin steppin on... Lettin two things clarify the reasons of change in the moment in which u stand... They ain't here for decision that's not off ya own aa u stood face to face n nothin u coulda done woulda have the chance... Levelin out is in the way maturity is as natural as words spoke with purpose... Neva to go worthless... Relatin the situation lived as the comin of goings... Knowin who's who n the meanin of doings... Head up with ya chin stay hung loose... It's jus time for somethin new!!!

I'm gonna miss u...

Past the limits of gone she had to go... To far beyond the motion of the truth be known... Seems she couldn't help herself now the friendship is over... Another one on set a drift away from the helpless loner... On the other side she slipped n now a faded thought... She couldn't hold on as her mind jus tossed... Runnin outta space to hide behind her eyes... Her tongue failed to mention the tone in which she lied... Reality struck as she ran with my heart... Knowin time was at hand of a chance to start... She dipped out as my head was turned... Doin all I can for her to have a place of worth... In the middle of luv nothin could be done... A different kinda life to her from our home... As the luv was real enough to feel the tare... Rippin open my chest n I know she cared... Knowin she'd be missed she fell behind my grasp... Only if I could tell hey one more time I wanted her to last... Takin my own emotion n throwin it away... She'd rather live without me more than she wanted to stay... Becomin my best friend n my go to like no other... I lost more than a so called luv'r... Neva having a chance to watch her leave without sayin goodbye... Seems it came that time for her to take back what was mine... Like it wasn't as real as she claimed it to be... Shelby went n did the unthinkable n set herself free... As I'm to look at life without her eva common home... Forever she will remain in my thoughts to roam...

Who it is I am...

I see it now... What they've been sayin about me... Yet it's the best one yet to help me realize a few things... N I'm hoping she's the only last one that feels me breathe... Thing is I want something do bad I try to hard... N yeah I'm an over achiever but it's what I do... N even though I'm comin to terms with the reality of my new findings... I can accept my truths... Ain't none of us perfect... N we all allow others in who ain't good for us... N it's a matter of respect... Bcuz it's those individuals who change us into a direction that truly will never live up to the invision of self... Jus tryin to figure out who's who... N that's basically the real task at hand... whether it be who we are our another tryin to for in either way goin with the woo's... As I stand with a new angle on my own character that's needs to chill the fuck out... I'm diggin to far in n my speck is a sight zoomed to far into the details of rights n wrongs... One thing is for certain though n I'll say it til I die... The way I come may transform a bit but I'll never stop too I get what it is I'm lookin for in more the features to come along... Willingly from a friend like no other... A piece if me in an other I don't wanna go without... As I'm lookin in luvs eyes daily jus wantin her to realize herself where it is I stand... N what I'm truly about...

What's mine is mine... Bottom line...

Goin in n laggin behind doin more for others than self has ever been shown... The ends come to bein better to a friend that can't be grown... Standin back up from another set back with a smirk lookin like I ain't got nothin else to give... The wheels had done fallen off n I gotta save myself before they ruin my efforts jus tryin to live... Dead weight clingin to a free ride when I can only do so much as I've emptied every option taken... Done n walkin in a new direction alone for no one's ever stepped to the pronunciation of tone expressin what's in the makings... N it seems terms are a lil to late to care enough where a face will disappear back into life on the loose... Acceptin the blame of why relations didn't pull through as legs are on the move... Walkin solo knowin friends weren't their mentions of the tongue tellin the heart the door behind it must close... Away from the trap of luv that means nothin once the facts present true worth... Realizin it wasn't shit once again to a so called bond at free by the lack there of anything more than words... Buried in the dirty of the pasts loss to get to the gain not a one of em could eva prove... Always thinkin I'mma jus throw in everything I can n watch em come to the surface of who's who... Fadin behind the failure of actions ready to let go of the promises neva held to the trust... I'mma jus light a candle n remember it was jus another lust...

in my own lane

leanin on the rocker with a tilt feelin the break fall into a laugh bcuz we cant get outta this shit alive... life aint shit but to spend it on the joys double jointed to toke n did i mention im high af n tappin outta thy mind... off the loose end hangin on with one hand n down to the pinky finger as i die of laughter rollin like the smoke from the icky burnt... lickin letters before they exit the mouth drippin into form with a curve bringin the imagination from the silence of bein unheard... a tad bit different lookin for toe prints at the ends of steps for no fuckin reason other than ive done smoked n im trippin on the lil shit... aint a damn one us gonna make it so the birds must fly with the smoke engulfin the visual pretendin im on a mountain as high as my feet cant touch the grounds grip... out there somewhere is my mind livin carefree n i dont care to find it comin back any time soon... im jus starin at the walls thinkin about how good jelly toast sounds with a lil butter but i cant move... no ones gettin out with anything here n im jus peachy with the thought of still bein alive to light up that fire burnin me into a state of mind where i can fade... n they say im crazy for piecin shit together in ways they can relate... yet whos agreein with my silly azz when the tappin begins findin humor in the unleashin of hey brain!!! colonizin fragments made of thoughts at the edge of here ya fuckin go as the push packs another bowl heated by the flame... on the goofs end of life tailin the psychotic around like a lost puppy pointin n makin fun of their norm... one click too far gone i play in my own lane n have since i was born... introduced to the thc back when i was jus a lil fella as it became my best fuckin friend... n this is how it goes in my reality as its my life thats spent...

the real world...

stolen drams sold to the flow of cash at the highest bidder.. taken before life begins in this unknown place that teaches its way of a social defender... play along or fall into the cracks of a legal world corrupt beyond repair... strangers fed hope by hard work that aint enough to fight off the struggle set in the pattern of the stare... since before we can relate humanity has lost its birth of freedom sucked into the establishments cluster fuck... dyin to stay alive as payments on many levels weigh down the possibilities to revive the comfort of the gutter filled with slush... sacrificed at the bottom so the float of yachts allow the rich to sell a fantasy of the paper flow that jus isnt near the amount needed to enjoy a damn thing... so the hustle begins as corners of knowledge kick in unafraid to use the system to the advantage as the head rings... in the groove of another way to make it worth the scene before the eyes playin out as the glitch has been found of truths hidden in plain sight... thinkin the whole fuckin time somethin jus wasnt right til the moment that freed the momentum to expand the variity of common life... equalizin the battlefield so the higher ground is up for grabs as its any mans land slippin into lalalands hands buried n tucked in the presence of understandin... identity theft by the powers to be that has no true power over the natural habitants to be n live uncontrolled by the fierce force of ignorance that is no excuse of the law... as the noose is cut n thrown back at those who believe in the chaos reflected in infiltrated minds actin out a society based mind... programmed to follow protocol as trained assassins for the better cause of colors represented upon a flags rag of threads that holds no value... collectin on the sweat blood n tears of labor set out to climb a wall to high to get over n dont know how to... slidin out the womb is the innocence thatll neva see the hyped up bs that misleads the purpose of what the hurl jus cant upchuck in this backwards azz waste of time... as education is merely the memory remeberin the instilled mindset that only appears to be utterly fuckin blind... ready or not the spin flattened out to walk the soil beneath the feet is a journey we all havta take in n fit in or become as crazy as it sounds for the truth is a figment of the imagination... as eatin poison for big pharma to exploit emotions n cash in on the pain where cures are not given unless the dollar amount is acceptable as the eonly other option is to turn to the substances that thrive in the streets breedin walkin like zombies known as addicts adaption... its a mental game to gain control n weed out the nonsense planted deep in thought... n its at all costs...

My stoner friends...

Backed by a sea of stoners fillin the airwaves with that icky pickens from the stalk so brains can ease the fuck back... From right to the left the rotation neva ends gettin lost in the smoke makin the visual a bit to foggy in between grip of the grab... Stacks for that mind blowin twist as me n mine smoke the room out tossin thoughts around like the pass from finger to thumb is released on to the next hit... Gettin loose n fadin in to a drift eyes slant like deflated footballs as if Brady was puttin in on the shit... Burnt n blazin on an elevated soar floatin in the minds dab livin the high life to the fullest jus leanin in reverse... That make me feel the essence followed by a world puffin on nature's way of exploitin the calm that settles the nerves... I'm high AF lookin down with my feet swingin like a midget sittin on a curb jus passin time away... As the clouds landed n blown from lungs into an astronomical feel of levitation in luv with the way it taste...

Shallow... Surface dust...

I think she likes it... The way it feels too explore the wild side of a man's dip... Off the deep end within jus past his sanities punchline... I believe she may be in luv with the feel of him goin all out with empty hands n outta mind... There's a certain look she gets when she gets her way... Then turns never to see him untwist his face... She's a selfish breed that like only what she thinks makes her happy... Alone emotionally jus not givin a single fuck to better someone else n it's maddening... It drives a simple man up the wall but he knows she's no good for anyone but herself... N for their relations other than the sex there's is no help... Shallow, surface dust, shaped within the beauty of the mind... Listening to all the drawn out lies... N she craves the lifestyle that never had long to live... I'm n out once she had what she's wants n everything they're willin to give... She's somethin other than normal that'll tickle the fuck outta ur rib... Sad thing is she isn't worth much more than a fuck if ur wantin anything worth holdin on to... Bcuz for u n him n everyone else she has one fuckin use...

the flip...

shit changes when emotion takes affect... as the time taken leaves impression as an effect... infected is a term best qualified to insist the feelin is real... dignified as the real thing stealin moments in the minds reel... n in the capsule capture to the trap is the vague actions that disappear like life... as luv switches direction to configure wtf is goin on to the adaption we fear as the hype... reroutin thoughts to concur the pain settled in on the loss breakin free... theres a relitive opponent unheard needin a listenin ear as a battle cry sprung from the hearts greed... in the turnin of the release of that there of a tempermental way of livin within goin through the movements seen... droppin truths to lies on many levels of hatred known as the end of dreams...

i better now...

shit was peaceful til now... openin the mind really spun outta control somehow... luv n life bein in luv a couple times... n the past is mine to live or devalue as it was my time the was spent doin mine... knowin i couldnt get it back but wasnt n aint passin on the oppertunity that could play out to my benefit in a friend... as the mind jumped ship yellin all men for themselves yet i havent as of yet seen the end... whos who when u dont know yourself is the question never asked... maniacs on the loose in an inviroment control losin hope of humanity ever gettin along due to the suppressions task... blinded n free only in thought... its on display before the eyes n relations are sufferin n soon to be extinct comin to a pause... yeah shit was allot more peaceful upstairs when it was jus me clueless to the way of this worlds selfishness pluggin into my subconscious... shit no one speaks of is the topic of discussion here bcuz thats where we are as a repercussion other than lifeless...jus lookin around watchin profiles determin who someone is has gotta be some of the dumbest shit n no one minds to follow thinkin the same ol shit... i was good but now im better bcuz i see what the fuck it truly it is...

here here here...

from the start words found their way through the ways of luv... tried on n stripped of every touch upon the texture forced from lettin it be known to a silent kinda hussssssh... tongues changin tone into the beauty of life comin out to play turned into an unfortunate event... n its times way of ridin the minds intent as well fuckin spent... from the beginnin til the now where i sit tapin at the story that ocuurs jus wantin to put it down for once... free is the will to pursue what lurks beyond the vision that can not get beneath he faces that reside as attempts... not once findin the bottle empty like the heart that lent emotions on another level of satisfaction as if a crutch... the twist was earned in a moment of every one of em standin in luvs grasp as that a way we went... it was the therapy of gettin it out here that drove my mind in circles so it wouldnt go outside of itself  wonderin wtf... in my moments of realization of who i am walkin in hand in my turn to be felt... fuck luv rekindles the resolution of what the next page delivers as becomin flush... as the help comes in the flow of passions melt... walkin away to remind us we are alone within the company wantin to be a part of somethin more than steppin on solo... they round the corner as the proof is in the wind that blows as a new scent here n there captures the necks spin... oh no!!! i think i know which way i like the entertainment of my grin... mentally feasible by potential livin in the moment of trust... but no one will ever know what temps the go ahead unless they were to read what those that have had me or still grips mits on to write n idky... this here is the clarity of the givin in to relations to feel a lil bit of a word like us... here without the lies...

versions...

hello screen... who can i be in her stare today... pluck me someone from within my dreams... if u may... bring me a life in a new version i jus aint seen as of yet...  hey!!! add a lil bit of respect... n truth in the reason they wanna stay... take the letters that make the name of thee n bend them a shape of the opposin gender... someone like n in the opposin version me... dig into me n find a new character i can relate to as id defend her... one who jus dont wanna leave... its been a while since ive felt that need of the want for the happiness playin with my will... times gettin outta hand as it jus ticks jus past halfway neva met 50/50... i could use a thrill that defines who it is that comes from within how luv spills... as the shades turn down on the other side of grays anatomy... n take a piece of my own emotion n instill the joy id feel for her if she were real n in front of me... screen!!! u see, theres no one here that clings to me the way words are easily said in a kisses lean...help me pretend the way they do here til mornin at another chance to breathe... i know u dont say mush n its me doin all the talk typin to fill ur emtpy page... guess it be u that gets the attention thats finds an interest to bring u to life... n it seems like ur my best friend as we all know the dont end with out the rage... yet, u dont give a fuck n dont mind me if i can not lie... for u n i know even this piece is another reflections of the failure to become anything more than a play thing... the man of the moment somehow misunderstood  for a purpose unknown til the end rolls on up like the red carpet to steal the show... give in n trick me into believin my imagination is as real as human wings... somethin to hold... i wanna feel it ease into my arms as if im the answer to the quest comin into view in thoughts on display... put to use in the maikin of a memory jus to be hurt in the end... somewhere a lifetime from now jus livin day to day... be my friend... in different versions take me in n outa lives that change like one chapter to the next.. yet keep the attention of thy reader fixated the way my mind comes to life in her presense as she finally completes the reason of why... something not of this world that can relate is all i ask as the bendin over is the passion wrapped up in sex... expressin, no bs, til one of us dies..

Lemme add to ur strength.
 The load needs not, to be that heavy.
 Come find a friendship that goes the length.
 N jus mumble words so easily.

 Needs before wants, it's a given.
 This end is within patience's corner.
 The curtains r open for the show we live.
 Actions speakin, without borders.

 No limits, jus satisfaction while we're here.
 I'm open to the wanted discussion.
 Jus us two, walkin in a reality so nice.
 Memories worth makin to begin with a proper introduction.

 i won't make u chase me if i ain't gotta.
 Cuz our space could be a good place.
 Straight up comfortable.
 Isn't that the plan standin face to face?

Step to me

 On the level of limits, the snap is the point.
 On point, right on time n bout damn time.
 Jus after the fr (for real)? That's how it is?
 In the moment, chewin words truth grinds.
 The platform center stage lit the fuck up.
 It's comin! N that's what's up, over the line.
 Not givin a flyin bird flip, giggles spit.
 A train reaction shuttin down time.
 Bad is good n felt in mutual convo.
 Tic tic oh no! Spilnterin the third strike.
 Gone n skippin til home is found over there.
 Exposed, with nothin left to hide.
 Luv exists in rare frustrated form.
 Past the signs pointin in the direction ahead.
 Steppin under self to lift shadow n all.
 The one hurtin, holdin strengths head.

Have u

 have u ever let her jus dig in with a chizzle n a brush?
 Admittin flaws blowin away the particles of dust.
 Down to the shape of ur original forms shadow.
 As u stand in frame as real as it's movement follows.
 Seen in the light on this side opposite of where the silhouette resides.
 Disapearin in the dark, draped around her outta sight.
 Held by the truth she's found at bare minimum.
 From the depths as ur rivers flow was dragged n ur feelin em.
 Emotions raw n rare polished as her reflection lives within.
 Have u ever felt a lil ladies piece of mind resuscitate ur shine?

Control. It's never easy when the emotion kicks in.
 The mind gets comfy a bit n feelins roam. Grin.
 Yet that ol familiar pain reminds self of the possibilities.
 Tryin to hold on to the one thing that gives meanin to individuality.
 Luv. It's open or it's closed half way or a quarter goin shut.
 So easy it's hard to determine what can't be felt by touch.
 Releasin the depths to another is fatal to intensions.
 Yet time speaks as they listen to the fear u never mentioned.
 Scared n willin to give what's been sittin still.
 But will they ever hear u spill what's real?
 Issues. Careful lil insecurities that tap the nerves memory.
 Fillin a whole with another that fits n eases the sensitivity.
 Hidden n kept from jus anyone to relate.
 Havin patience in actions so there's no debate.
 Proof. Poof in an instant it can calm the beast.
 Or turn it's teeth on the hand that feeds luv's meet.
 Keepin the head on straight simply spins.
 Cuz we don't know who to trust once the tears touch the chin.

Here's the difference of the mind between u n i.
 The turn of the new year makes resolutions end a time.
 In ur mind it's a chance to change the conflictions or lifestyle.
 As if on the band wagon of followers that will never go outta style.
 Yet here in my lonely train of thought, i sit.
 Daily tryin to fix what needs to be fixed.
 Everyday is a grand moment to rise to the occasion.
 For I am me, never in need for that lone day of the domestic evasion.
 Feed into what you've been taught u ur whole life long.
 Don't determine what individuality is in where u belong.
 Be the rest of those livin on a calendar of when the time is right.
 N I'll decide now is what matters in which i could never lose sight.
 As i am is not how i see life on this planet tucked behind the eyes.
 Seems humanity has lost its unique twist of bein self as mine.
 Jus wantin to be apart of somethin that's distracted on the inside.
 Unable to think from outside the box that starts from within the bodies outline.
 N there r so many goin with the flow of the way things jus r.
 So excuse me as i do for me n don't play the part.
 Traditions r over played n life is taken for granted with no guarantee.
 As if a new year is more important than a new day that come not frequently.

 Life is here. Grab ahold n make ur own way. Be u!

lost in between dreams

jumping out from a dream i wake.
wondering how much more imagination i can take.
out of sync and disoriented for a nightmare i ridden.
i dreamt up a dream where we were forbidden.
reaching i extend, i roll and grab hold.
as my body feels so extremely cold.
clinging to the past a dream attempted to steal.
feeling more than the depression that appeared to be real.
tightly wrapped stuck to your side in a freezing sweat.
a little thing called dreamland told me you left.
slowly coming to reality of what we share.
for this thing it is as real as it is as sad as it is rare.
finding a love more passionately than i did before i drifted off.
winding up somewhere where i felt so utterly lost.
pulling me out of a dark tale trying to i am shake it.
from me you were violently ripped and forsaken.
tasting the worst of all my frightened fears.
our future became an absent minded smidge of a smear.
changing times, living past outdated expiration's.
i thought you gave up on all our expectations.
you and i were done inside the subconscious of my mind.
through with living a love we could not hide.
i lost control in between dreams yet one more time.
as i am waking and finding myself wanting to break down and cry.
wanting to tell you i never want to watch you leave at all.
i comfort my confusion with your skin for it is so silky soft.
the tricks of the mind damn near killed my heart.
broke me down and tore me completely apart.
i came close to freezing over and my core becoming bitterly hard.
as i woke just in time to a feeling of total disregard.
and though i escaped the depths of an illusion that had took my one.
i learned a valuable lesson in a lonely dream of a love going numb.

the colors

like da colors dat change in da sky.
luvs a puppet in times reasonings of why's.
fallin in fallin out.
seems we're all fallin on our route.
1 min its orange n pink n purples.
then its blue turnin black like bruises ova hurdles.
almost as if it were tellin a story of luv.
givin hope as we go numb.
showin there's always another day 2 shine.
layin faith in da hands of time.
as beautiful as it may appear.
da storms must roll in so we can learn from our fears.
feelin da reds drain from da petels that consume thy's will.
pokin holes as we watch it spill.
black as night as we try 2 fight 2 get it back.
2 those things we all tend 2 lack.
flaotin along in amazement.
waitin 4 dat 1 thing dat could neva b wasted.
n yet from time 2 time driftin n forgettin our way.
in between da colors dat stain da day.
we all watch da colors change.
wit nothin but another day in exchange

Beneath the mask.

Always trapped within the creases of thoughts.
We dig in to release the tension in which it's caught.
Try pryin open the mind to flush it away.
Yet for some reason it jus decides to stay.
Like a hair tweezers can't grip, it's there.
Plugged in to the memory banks that stare.
A thorn pokin at the pain that aches.
Wedged tightly n safe from ever bein misplaced.
On display to relive n remember the unhealed sore.
As the reel spins the emotional wheel worn.
On a wibblin pivot shakin the ride uncomfortably harsh.
Makin time in the tomb so dark n so very hard.
The burden presses on the vision into a blur.
As it's stuck in the sweet spot wantin to be heard.
Visions come thru in daydreams stallin life.
N the reaction to its presence one can not hide.
It's a weight carried mentally that confuses reality.
Cuz there was no excuse to walk thru me.
Leavin a single spike lodged with ur scent.
The head leans to the side as if worth is spent.
Beneath the mask many things vary.

N comin away in one piece depends on how far down ur buried.

To far gone to turn back now.
 Movin with time silent to sound.
 Out in the open all alone.
 Feet jus tryin to find their way home.
 In the middle of absolutely nowhere.
 Standin in the horizon smeared.
 Lost under the radars beep, i hide.
 Comin undone, the bounce flat lines.
 Outward the empty refuses to be seen.
 Fallin at the attempt to lean.
 Stumblin as aim wound up face down.
 Wtf happened from then til now?

can i go now

 excuse me for living.
 thought the luv between was existing.
 I didn't mean to breathe on u.
 don't mind me, I like the truth.
 there's no need to hide it.
 lets avoid all the bull shit.
 do I annoy the shit outta ya?
 cuz I can go jus cuz I ain't ur fella.
 n my bad, I won't touch u no more.
 jus allow me to pick my heart up off the floor.
 it's ok u changed ur mind.
 like on the drop of a dime.
 I'll take it I was an accident.
 n this jus wasn't really meant.
 guess I'm someone worth givin away.
 I appreciate me not bein able to stay.
 I'll find my way somewhere else.
 I'm sure there I can be felt.
 so sad though, u simply fell out.
 I apologized for whatever it was in me u found.
 cuz I'm the same now I was back then.
 yet I'm off to a better place for where I've been.
 don't miss me cuz I know u won't.
 no luv lost the way ur so cold.
 do ur thing n don't forget, u released me.
 yeah I know, die in my dreams!
 can I go now? R we done?
 now that I know I'm not the one.

on display

 the pages of my heart r opened up here.
 only if u took a moment to listen to self readin how it feels.
 it shouldn't take too long if u gotta lil down time.
 woven in the threads that has patched my emotion that doesn't know how to hide.
 it's on display if u ever feel u wanna know.
 waitin with patience, the passion aches as it's told.
 hear how a man craves a woman like u thru time.
 emptied n sinkin in ink as if it were tracin the design of ur eyes.
 if the compassion were a flame it set fire to the proof.
 reachin for u within each n every line showin for u there's use.
 it's an endless devotion tappin at the deepest depths.
 gettin to the squeezin that drips the image within words kept.
 sittin still is a delightful taste felt escapin on a muted tongue.
 wantin the realization of what rotates inside to be seen as it comes undone.

n again

 currently suspended n danglin on truths. Emotions r stirred n again the connections confused.
 time to waste is enjoyment playin with a dream.
 as ugliness is a chalk outline damn near complete.
 witness to whom another is, is comin forth.
 judgement day is creepin up for the one adored.
 on one to many moments under conversation emptied.
 pushin in on the pointless frustration carried.
 here in the real world depth is a face unseen.
 hidden within is a monsters mindset freed.
 upon our honesty taken for granted to lose.
 lips ramble on unredeemable so called changes abused.
 accused is the shake findin shade under the night.
 chained to the absence of colors knife.
 round in the corners edge of solo.
 thinkin forever in another is trapped in a photo.
 the palms r damn near open to the release.
 as fadin is the touch misunderstood to please.
 stranded on a stage as the world is the audience.
 in the spotlight played like a puppet so obedient.
 never the less is the subject to change at hand.
 redirectin dead space in the mind jus to stand.
 havin nothin to throw into thin air to say.
 self has realized holdin on has seized it's moment.
 n again underestimated, the heart folded

Bits...

Lets stand on truths!
On it's neck to call a truce.
Jus simple honesty in the makin.
For all our nothin for the takin.

I have a way. A choice. A way for life. I am alive.
Many will cross my path. Few will stay. Yup. That's luv.

Comin back to life in a single moment stranded.
Insanity I'd is concurred by the sane u thought was crazy.
Unknowing the process it takes to gain reality in the mind.

Unchanging faces behind the threshold.
Beyond the barrier that divides it from the outside.
Jus inside the door that locks out the lack of.
It's an irreplaceable comfort that'll reader the mind.
To find as it captures ur heart.

To have nothin n have it all is unheard words that could never explain what can not be said. As very few understand actions on mute standin in time livin life on the necessity level of breakin bread.

Yes, I know! I am only the matter of time.
 In which will expire, as the heartbeat becomes a line.
 Flat n headed into what imma never know.
 But i am here now, n i ain't got time to slow.
 Not for an immortal, nor yesterday that has been.
 I'm movin to the rhythm of lifes irresistible grin.
 In a groove cuz i got the moment to show my azz.
 N I'm jus tryin to savor precious seconds that last.
 So feel for me what i feel for u, n jus live.
 Lets do this damn thing n make it big!
 Come enjoy the presence of humanity That refuses to hide.
 Be u n I'll be me n we can escape into the night.
 Lets do this n get at it n do it right.
 Like the S.O.S. band n feel the funk of life sweat from our poures.
 As we express the meanin of life for each others existence, within reasonable vocal chords.
 I am jus a simple speck, a part of life here jus wantin to make my way.
 Come, let go of the ties that bind u n live as free as u can behave.
 Rip loose n capture for once, for the chance to feel reality in the movement.
 Movin to the vibe that jus flows as u hold it.
 In a special place all ur own, enjoyin time.
 Before it unravels n its to late to claim the mind....

Wow! Seems i lost a few friends cuz i spoke up, not like i haven't in the past, but cuz i truly went at the jugular of belief.
 Funny how a thought could exchange a friendship on any level that stands convicted as if a thief.
 I'm not tryin to steal anyone's train of thought that differs from that of my own.
 I jus wanna be heardd the way I listen to the others sides apparent reason in facts that seem to be bowed.
 Am i not human as i stand beside u in my truist form, unguarded n livin in this world's b.s.?
 Y is it anyone can say what they want to bout religion n believin as long as it's in a god like tone of voice no matter what religion it is?
 Until an atheist speaks their mind, everything is debatable for conversation of difference.
 It's cool cuz the loss is not mine. Nor is it within me losin myself to the imaginations independence.
 False idols do not live here, burried in my roots so deep beneath reality.
 That doesn't mean I'm anything less of what i was moments ago when we shot the shit eye to eye.
 Looks as if I'm the outcast after all when it should be reversed for y'all r the ones who pretends a higher bein lives in the sky.
 N i apologize to anyone who i offend cuz its not like me to attack anyone for what defines them as them.
 Then again I'm the one who's sighed upon as if I'm wrong for bein real. The far n in between r jus rare gems

.......... On some real shit ..........

If i gave u loyalty as I placed it in ur hands.
N my reasons were never an excuse, could u see the man that I am?
As my character shows patience in ur tone.
Tryin to believe that I am not like the rest as they're cover has been blown.
Can my truths look u in the eyes n have the worth they deserve?
From me to u, can my voice when spoken, simply be heard?
For the words r plucked from the inner lining of my core.
If time was given, I'd luv for u to know I don't wanna walk thru u.
Thing is if I could I'd luv to get use to havin u around n can a truce.
Would I receive the same gesture aimed back at my mind?
For the heart is not a puppet with time on the line.
What if u were as free as u r now as we stood together.
Do u think day by day would be okay before we promise each other forever?
If u can't tell, my train of thought has grown n rounded out with reality.
The understandin of two connectin as one still has an individuality.
So if I exposed me now prior to reachin for only ur hand.
Do I stand a chance at somethin as real as fam?
I'm comin straight atcha in rare form so I know myself.
Cuz I to truly would luv to know what it's like to be felt.
On some real shit, jus puttin in the work.
To step to the plate, standin a single level above the dirt.
Would my actions of interest ever be granted free will.
So our memories made will never fade beneath the emotion frozen still.
How do u know if I could be enough, right now?
Cuz I'd luv to know how ur thought process tastes upon ur mouth.
In the moment of truth that can never hide.
This is jus me figurin a way to witness myself in u, as I reside.
Friend before any other figure I can possibly become in ur world.
Jus wantin some day to admit, in u, I found my girl........

a moment

 By the time u read this time will have come to pass.
 So many ways I've said it n words that will be left to last.
 If notice was taken then you'd know every syllable layed.
 Yet here u sit gazing eyes upon what was felt everyday.
 Jus a bit to late to share with me emotions spent.
 As the luv I have for u is so much more than lent.
 A bit of time was all that was needed to witness fate.
 Expressin intent of the hearts calling out to your ways.
 Y I tapped my whole life away n u chose not to partake.
 I haven't a clue to y u couldn't find a moment to fill space.
 But while your comin undone of the loss that's filled your days.
 Remember I left this reminder of u n I with u as my life was made.
 U see I loosened myself for the gain of having u near.
 I wish it this way as i expire, yet it leaves so much pain.
 But then again you'd never know the stories unimaginable gain.
 I'm sorry luv that it took so long for u to lay your patience on truths.
 I jus wish u took a moment to find interest in the alphabets I re-arranged to use.
 So here it is at last as your stuck post after post reading away.
 Know I'm still with u in the only way I could figure out to stay...

The time has come to....

Lets jus be real n say it's okay to fade......
Away from reality as u escape the stay.
U have ur world as I'm here, standin firm.
Repeatin words goin unheard with worth.

It's cool to drift off as the end calls.
It'll only take one to fall out, pause....

Did i jus say what i think i thought?
Damn, i wonder if that'll cost me another loss.
Cuz this is pourin down on the face of a clown.
Painted n runnin with the poundin of the heart, w0w!

Shits leakin so u better get to takin notice quick.
I can't hold in the spit fallin from words pist.
Changin emotions r shuttin the fuck down.
Findin the sound to speak out loud.

Ur warned, that is if ya feel this is what matters.
Change the pattern of the useless chatter.
The spew spilled isn't worth the thrill.
N the fill is only half full put on chill.

I ain't got it in me to try n thaw.
U wont crawl for me so don't think I'll stall.
Know what it takes to pull me from my mind.
Where I'm doin time by ur side wonderin y.

Fuck, i don't think imma be able to hold back.
Fast, fix this before its casted into the past.
Cuz i jus heard a click in the only place I have left.
N its holdin my best away from my chest.

This is the kinda shit that tears live for.
N anymore i can't feel a damn thing even stuck in my core.
It's not showed til i know what stands before me.
So come from the dream u sleep n my name breathe.

I ain't holdin back a mutha friggin thing.
Not til the string weaves me what u think.
Out in the open thru actions that give proof.
Wtf is my use to u, cuz I'm standin with truths.

Can u handle reality willin to walk with u.
Proudly as a fool that needs not to be goofed.
It's alright if u can't seem to come clean.
Washin away the filth that I'd bath from ur ways.
Yet i don't want u to change, nor play ur game.

It's comin straight off the chest cuz the weight is to much.
Heavy n pullin on strength in luv without u reachin to touch.
Stop claimin what i have left of self in ur name.
Lookin out for u, it's the same ol same.

U see, I'm not as dumb as luv once was.
N i don't need another on hush of words that mean so much.
Be u n do what u think u feel u need to do.
But know, i ain't goin for loose lips tellin me I'm in luv with u.

The time has come to make the difference u wanna be.
The factor I've been in the breeze of ur speech.
Spat n twisted under the tongue for ur own belief of what i am.
Yet what u fail to realize is I'm more of a man than i am ur biggest fan.

I ain't got it in me to end it unless I'm forced.
But the vocal chords r becomin very horse.
N i can't take the life ur willin to live.
What u give is so lil, takin for granted the expression on my lips.

The pattern of the eyes.

Finger prints at the tips touch.
Barely close enough.
Imprint upon the skin.
Reachin for what's within.
Outstretched n committed.
Crossin the endless limits.
Desirin the feel.
Felt for it is real.
Reshapin emotions law.
Further, faster the fall.
Tamed n unleashed.
Jus wantin to please.
Ooh, the mental gain.
Finally, somethin sane.
For lips to meet.
Hot sighs that breathe.
Inches from happiness.
The vibes, so intense.
Ripples pulsate.
Depths on a crusade.
Expandin the chests walls.
Passions claw.
Carvin smiles.
Curved with style.
In the moments time.
Within luv's design.
Face to face.
Steppin to the plate.
Lost in the pattern of the eyes.
Tracin every line.
Connectin the reflection.
Witness to intensions.
Leakin clear crystals.
Sparklin stardust drippin the visual.
Pourin thru a splash that stares.
Open n dared.

The part......

 If they were to take main stage.
Would u remain quiet over the display?
Actin as if they played the part.
Like an art that feeds the heart.
As u watched with calm easin patience.
Even if u were as far as distance
Before ur eyes, entertainingly flirtin.
From behind the velvet curtains.
For the world to witness how they move u.
Could u sit silently to the have proof.
In the spotlights talent rehearsed.
Givin it all hopin u forget their worst.
For flaws hang on emotions.
As they attempt a standin ovation.
For ur gratitude to open to their domain.
Do u think you'd rise if they made the play?
Performed realistically within the space provided.
Awaitin ur approval individually divided.
Applaud the fiction unraveled in the dark.
Tellin a story for acceptance to endure the part.

The drift away...

 Standin behind the shield, alone again.
It doesn't protect the back exposed, damn.
I never thought you'd do it to me of all people.
Yet luv was extracted from me by ur needles.
Plucked in the side of reality lookin ahead.
My backside was on the hit list as it's been said.
Quietly kept, the mirror never lied to me.
Yet he couldn't help for he's trapped within the dream.
A reflection of who i am before eyes that drift.
N lips that kiss cling to the grip as if fists.
What a twist that caved in beneath the feet.
Who woulda thought, i was the fein.
Takin in what left me emptied n numb.
Without a substance that felt the hush.
Speakin in tongues that sliver the snake.
Leavin words on the table as bait.
The lure that snags expressions outta thin air.
Yeah, who's the one that broke to care?
Lookin around takin notice of the change.
As the head shakes, losIn ground in my own domain.
Who's who in the battle at wars end?
Bendin n holdin weight for a friend.
It had to be u to awaken the beast within.
Raw n relentless, u stood with a grin.
As serious as laughs smeared life.
Hidin the facts that hurt even the knife.
That didn't understand the purpose so unjust.
Reason is confused by actions endin trust.
Yet, under the circumstances, i can relate.
It was a moment shared that eventually escaped.
Everything is subject to change in the seasons coarse.
Everything is n came to be, i jus wanted more.
A lil bit much, as norm surfaced as nonexistent.
Goin back i fell forward into the distance.
Open minded to the pleasure of simply knowin.
Enjoyin another for so long had been proven.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust went astray.
Mixed ashes never to touch, became the fade.
Driftin afloat life remains to be lived.
No matter who gave what to give.
It takes two in this world to deliver honesties pride.
Proud n content i walk for i now know, I am mine til the day i die.

It's okay.....

 Teardrop pinstripes invisible yet clearly seen.
Washing away the brutality of once was in need.
Motionless vibrations felt rippling through the core.
Silent n damn near deadly is the ultimate reward.
Ends of relations unfulfilled and emptied speaking names.
Thinking unheard thoughts of how old the games.
Touch turning inward away from luv's endless betrayal.
On display for self's reflection to witness as impaired and failed.
Currupted by emotions and broken by devotions lies.
Riddles of the mind shaking off a lifetime of passions undigested cries.
As weak as strength that maintains the defeated balance that smiles.
Beneath the shadow turned away from the days denial.
You're gone like the breeze that blew so softly upon the skin.
Causing that everlasting illusion that stretched a lone grin.
Confusion had spread across the face uninterrupted by hate.
Because luv was real enough to forgive and the only way to stay sane.

Luv's disregard...

 If in hand was the instruction manual to luv'n me.
 Would u cheat ur way through to my hearts lonely stream?
 Crawlin within me on a short cut one step ahead.
 Repairin me as i fell apart at times so u get my best.
 Do u think you'd control the movements of my will through manipulation?
 Leadin me on, down ur selfish desires endless corruption.
 If u had in hand, the book that guided me to ur lips.
 Would u use the pointers the auther has given against this?
 Possibly attempt to rewrite the book to go as planned, ur way.
 Commitin me to an imprisonment before i had a chance to obey.
 In ur homes maze with a checklist playin the part.
 Without a pen to help myself to the door lost so far in luv's disregard.
 Takin the purist temptation n chainin it to ur core.
 Or would u allow me to prove to u, for u, what i have in store?

Disregard...

 If in hand was the instruction manual to luv'n me.
 Would u cheat ur way through to my hearts lonely stream?
 Crawlin within me on a short cut one step ahead.
 Repairin me as i fell apart at times so u get my best.
 Do u think you'd control the movements of my will through manipulation?
 Leadin me on, down ur selfish desires endless corruption.
 If u had in hand, the book that guided me to ur lips.
 Would u use the pointers the auther has given against this?
 Possibly attempt to rewrite the book to go as planned, ur way.
 Commitin me to an imprisonment before i had a chance to obey.
 In ur homes maze with a checklist playin the part.
 Without a pen to help myself to the door lost so far in luv's disregard.
 Takin the purist temptation n chainin it to ur core.
 Or would u allow me to prove to u, for u, what i have in store?

As the story goes

I kinda went on a lil vacations.
away from the depression of emotions.
tryin to find a lil sum sumtin.
within the mind, not wantin a piece of nothin.
makin luv instead of fuckin up my head.
stayin awake for days afraid of the bed.
I had to step back n retreat from self.
vacant n void as empty as never bein felt.
gone without huntin the reasons n why's.
keepin from the depths settled in my own eyes.
scared of the pain followin that lingered.
runnin from the secrets of luv pointin fingers.
gettin lost along the way in a different kind of paradise.
secluded from the services of passion that lied.
livin in another world weird enough to make sense.
makin the balance of relations less tense.
I went on a cruise sailin solo to the edge of the horizons drop.
off the deep end of reality, closin up shop.
I fell n wound up elsewhere mentally at the bottom.
lookin upward wonderin wtf so far from use hobblin.
wounded n vulnerable passin times window.
never wantin to return to the confusion shadow.
yet layin in the shade I chilled the breezes breathe.
with only what I could find that had no meanin to be said.
jus the driftin cluster fuck of bs set down that plagued the will.
not needin to feel the truths overflow n spill.
I slipped into la la land where I found me.
alone n betrayed by my endless dreams.
n as I peep back at the yesterday's calm.
I sit in a pause flawed attempting to find a cause.
no longer defeated by the design that failed.
I'm my own prison n I'm ready to post bail.
standin in another luv'rs parade of my presence.
waitin on it to smother the smolderin fence.
crossed as lines r stepped becomin real.
n all I know is to enjoy the trip for a chance to peel.
awakenin to a new patience in a face expressed.
I wonder how long it'll take to to put her right back with the rest.
unwillin like those before I didn't wanna release.
fallin once again embeddin dirt on the knees.

Padded without comfort.....

Is it really what it seems?
Or is the mind turnin on what's told to be the truths of reality?
Secret lives cause hidden thoughts.
Hiding beyond passwords never to be caught.
Does lips speak the way they must?
Or is the must looking out for self in the middle of luv?
How to take the echoes end trapped in the minds padded cell.
When witness to actions that u jus can't tell.
Cuz the stare is more like a look in selfs direction changed.
Kinda like something else had caught the eye within exchange.
Within a lifestyle runnin down what tickles them soft.
Meanwhile back at home the other is feeling lost.
Wondering what's goin on as desires touch isn't the same.
Fading n short of being the want of crawling up n under the skins gain.
Is it they jus wantcha to believe in words unheard?
As if something's off hearing what's suppose to reinsure.
Is it lies that can't be trusted or the truths that aren't believed?
Where's the honesty proved in real talks relief?
As who's doin what to whom when confusion settles into the situation?
Sittin alone as the walls r closing in on the emotions expectations.
Fighting a battle that doesn't have be fought.
Is the sacrifice worth losing passion sold to be bought?
In a twist, is what matters truly put into play?
Or is it another one of their selfish games?
Doin what they do hoping u don't wake up.
Back to realities realization of what the fuck!
When the way they feel u, is it the same as if ur feeling them?
Or is it empty receiving what they give like the act is suppose to mean something to em?
Who's world r they living in behind their eyes?
Can u tell if ur actually enjoyed or r u going blind?
Can u tell the difference once luv trickles into ur heart announced.
Or is this jus the minds way of dealing with the corruption they allow?
If u sat long enough n thought bout what it is u really see.
Would u think clearly or want it all to drift into a dream?
Cuz perhaps what lays beneath the code on their phone says it all.
Or maybe, jus maybe, ur crazier than u look deep within ur own flaws.
Padded for safety first that overshadows the textin of thought goin south.
Yet again, no one knows a damn thing other than the word of mouth.
Is there the mornin glory of comforts snug?
Close as words speak of the ongoing crush.
Or is the waking moments a lonely place.
Left solo with the lack of laying in space.

U can't tell real in a set of eyes unless they stare as if they're witness to untold n unimaginable truths... Rare is raw standin within the design tellin all that's needed to say havin for life, use!!! Reality strikes n blinks never to close the sight ready for whatever that steps. Peep the insanity that's snapped behind the face peekin with the purest character that sheds drips that leak. Feel the way the pupils pulsate to the bs tryin to get in that ain't got a fuckin chance. Closer to reality that seems to be distant in the retinas dilated enhanced. Yet perfectly sane cuz they've seen n been in the mix as the smoke doesn't burn no more. Bouncin like a woofer beatin the throbbin of the hearts desire to learn of self own core....... Fr!!!

Click, boom...

 Paying debts with the silencer pressed against the hearts tender texture faking the phunk trying to be tougher than the steel flush digging in to the texture flexing n forced inward towards the surveillance suggesting shit just got real. The boom is the last thing I'd never remember without a zoom scoped to score another fatal pop busting the looping bubble oozing out the other end of proof life no longer remains. Cocked n fucked in the head ready for the shock wave to blow out the backside of the sweet spot under the bullets aim out in the open, unlocked. Paid in full

Thoughts.... The wonders... Ripping through the head. Blurrin the vision of luv as the rain slides down the cheek.... Causin confusion. That lost emotion so rare punched in the heart.... Feelings corrupted by sensitivities curved in a smile. Oh, the echoes of images that speaks truths... Silent yet playin games with the mind. Again with the lips that dance in ones name. Damn near tastin where they've been. Sittin n listenin to brutal reality of denial... Muted under the tongue. The guidelines of the game hasn't changed. Jus on the opposin end turnin around. Lookin at the proof leadin to the now. The ache. The illusion that seemed to give life. The questions that plague the display hung behind the eyes. No response. No reaction ignorin the truth. Jus that lonely depth anchored n findin use. Opened to the disbelief settlin beneath the armors shield. Blank with expressions. Holdin characters worth close enough to earn self respect. The head hung in the moment to absorb what the fuck it really is. On a mission under the scope straightenin the backbone. In no need of the rage whisperin with a giggle. Endurin a new crack as it opens one more gateway within the chest. Learnin yet another lesson. Who's fault it is? The one that allows the bs to happen!!!

Outspoken...

 Open like a book in no need of sympathy. As real as air sucked in n heard as if playin in my own heartbeats symphony. My life is a reality that we're all the same. On display n released to relate to the facts tryin to beat the game. Half cocked appearin to be insane before eyes that refuse to dig into the texture of the depths that speak of the secrets. As i stand without skeletons that haunt what can't be found in the breeze givin a face to so called demons. Flowin by in the winds that tell truths of hidden corruption tearin honesty apart. Hide if u must behind the mask of what u feel of what it is u think u want everyone to know in whom u r. I'm here as proof standin in frame that not all of us is as fake as smiles turned upside down. Spittin the gain of what's really goin on behind the curtains drawn from the unfortunate mouth. In rare form cuttin the jugular to show we have a need for luv to step to the plate. Takin main stage under the spotlight to express for the record, no matter how hard we try, luv without war we can not escape. Within my own skin unable to lie as the gain will never prevail n unravel bein attached to false intensions. Do what u must to feel that helps u feel so much better bout self unable to stand within characters inspection. It'll get u no where quick as ends will catch the beginnings of lips attemptin to make another believe fibs. U'll wind up sittin in the eventual pain once again as u enjoy the now of how u live. I'm free of the bs as who i am is what's seen cuz that's what's worth my time. The only thing that'll make moments a legacy of a man unafraid to sigh........ Outspoken.