the booze neva spoke to me... i couldn't sink... not the way luv did when i was forced to walk away... as there was a change in the flava of names... seems i felt every single tingle of lettin go... as theraputic as whats left in my dreams i wouldn't know... n i gotta say, life isnt the same... i'm turned inside out wantin to feel the way i did before all the hate... as somethin woke up n idk what it is... as i'm livin proof that bs exists... i'm jus as affective as a bottle goin down the hatch. yet, i dont havta get drunk to forget about the snatch i couldn't have... my own mind decided what was claimed from what wasn't real... so i couldn't entertain it no more as i shut my lips to the feel... it's funny how time is spent... goin in to relations not knowin when you'll come back as ur own fuckin friend... nor who will appear in the mirror once it's all said n done... livin with the facts that went astray jus to come in the return of full circle walkin away from the past without the notion of luv... as self can be one... whole, with the nine yrds it's said to take to get with it n have a lil fun... as the relief neva came in a liquid form... time was the one thing on my side as i realized who it is i am as i believe me to be without the conceited bs of i am the shit far from my norm... jus bcuz i was willin to learn instead of suckin down the flava of hardships n gettin lost... i needed to feel it rip out the immaturities so i could stand up n move on like a man who reminds himself it's jus a momentary loss... n i gotta say, it's impossible for me to get stuck in a pause... i can see now n i ain't a goin on a walk into the mist unless she's a different kinda friend who can aceept her own flaws... smooth is the way i like it to soothe... jus as easy as gettin on with life bcuz i have that choice to make as it's mine to use... watchin luvr's come n go til i find the one that can maintain her sanity n be an adult worth puttin the time in to... witness to actions as confused as the fake cryin about the blues... i'm a lil different n not once did i eva collapse in to the dwellin intensified by a substance as i fought my way through... as life now is a happy place where i'm in touch with who i am without the additives of poison others spit to become someone new... needin more than a common clue... who knew... one time goin under as far as i did to resurface as someone that isn't justified in middle of a kiss... havin more to offer on an empty table yet to be served is my life as of now missin the tenderness of a good set of lips... no, i've neva known the feelin of bein luv'd the way i corrected self playin in the mix of others goin all out to cripple my intent... they seem to have an hidden agenda i can't get dowm with... so that's when i found me starin at my worth... as me, i fell n reemerged as a better twist ready to get it in n live bcus i to can learn... the sober one i stand as others drifted into a lifestyle i couldn't stand... as my sobriety is what's kept me sane on my way to becomin a man...
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