if u knew...

it's not bcuz i can't be luv'd... nor the option of blame in which i don't know how to flush... it's jus the drugs that got in the way that fucked me all up.. ones i neva have done that others thought were so much more fun...i'mma damn good man when relations come along... i have no issues with the way heart beats bang to the drums of what can neva be prolonged... all in a snazzy lil way of words not once put into a song... as it was me i thought could neva go wrong... yet as it turns out i jus wasn't enough... n those iv'e chosen seemed to fall one at a time to the hi of the touch... when it hit their bloodstreeam the felt the rush... as it was me standin outside their mood crushed... tryin to find my own movement so i to could feel like i'm luv'd... the way they were before they went under their fix... as it was me in the center of their mix... that  lifestyle jus wasn't for me as i was forced to pull away from their lips... findin myself as the enemy as my own emotions were ripped... from the dope to the booze to the pills that invaded my life... i lost years i can neva get back jus doin what's right... n in between the crack of my mind i found a piece of me that got tired of givin away my time... it wasn't me that gave up on what i had to reclaim as mine... i too feel things that are hard for me to believe in... knowin how lil of a thing that could replace me within... the substances must've felt greater than i coulda eva made em grin... bcuz i sit alone time n time again... followin finger that point like i'm broken inside... not kowin i jus want a friend how won't leave me here in reality who's guaranteed to remain by my side... so judge me if u must n talk into ears that sit upon the shoulders that collect the lies... i'm very well capable of turnin like into luv once i get to the point where i know without a doubt they luv it here in the middle of life... able to think for themself... it's not what u think sittin wherever u are castin assumption of why i'm single without relations that help... it's not that i jus cannot be felt... they jus all turn out to be addicts as it's my passion like a candle that melts...