running outta life...

i've been here for hours n the walls won't talk to me... for some strange reason i'm the only one here breathing... alone is getting older than my age as time ticks through my mind... knowing the course of actions that left me feeling like i'm running outta life... staring at the things here in this chilly room... it's two fourteen as it's not a clocks rotation of day hidden from the moon... there's no windows to see the world in which i hide away from... n i believe i've jus ran out of the notion of being constantly numb... as my thoughts linger with the passion lost causing me to feel where i once lived... it was a magical place unlike this one that at times had so much luv to give... i'm trapped within finding reason to lurk behind closed doors... yet my heart begs for use of something more... i quietly in a periodical scattered like pattern reach for my throat as if i'm overflowing... i'm going to waste for what's been held within my stir is showing... mirrors don't lie as i can not look myself in the eye... i truly feel like i'm doing some hard azz time... listening to the echo of my voice bounce back to me i believe i need something other than this... how is it i dropped everything n lost it all to prove luv exists.?. n here i sit, alone n unwinding by myself day in n day out as nights remove me from my own reality... i'm a man of meaning n purpose that sleeps solo in my drift as i even leave me... there's no feedback to me conversation as i've already found myself within my corrected tone... i am where i cannot be found long n far away from the selfishness of luv that has no home... tears form in the wells of my vision that blurs in the dark... for there is no company i've encountered worth me coming from this dungeon to allow another woman to see me lower my guard... what's truly real here as there's no point in lying about how people are fake... when all i've ever wanted was for jus one individual fall in luv with saying my name... although it's me i hear going over the reels in my head that are set on repeat... damn i need something new to bring me back to my feet... i don't deserve to do this to myself even though there's to much to straighten out... as no one will ever get close enough to my whispers sneaking away from my muted mouth...