version to version...

comin up on yet another version of reality left to be found by relations in a sense of free... listenin to the silence's wisdom rushin up on the other side of the feel angled towards me... it's the leap that tends to exchange emotion for the curiousity of havin the lights back on... figurin on which way is the best route to findin somethin close enough to home  n where it's goin... at the end of connectivity grabbin at the threads of luv to swing across the canyon to rid self of past pains... returnin to what exists here in reality as touch isn't felt the same... playin peek-a-boo with options so time isn't so much of a waste to the point of who's who... yet to stand face to face with someone new here in the acts that remain as life itself jus needs to slow the fuck up n cut the thought process loose... it's reachin for the cure of not knowin that resides behind the eyes of what is yet to be exposed as depths surfacin to have a moment of truth... takin a different approach tryin to sneak up on worth as a surprise waitin for the grip in an others hands put to use... in the length stretched out of nights wrapped up in the design of passion friends dig to be filled as one question flips the switch... tastin words that's come to ask with the upmost respect to protect who they cannot see beneath the skin as who in the fuck isn't a selfish bitch.?. from a far wantin to feel breaths up close n personal so the heart can find a rhythm to intertwine with as the bounce ricochets with a graze to awaken the mind... in a stand still damn near fuckin around with the roulette aimed at the satisfaction afraid of takin another hit fallin back in to the hype... walkin in a life size seek n search here as the puzzle moves n changes before the eyes of the beholder as everyone has their own version standin still in the center of everything goin on around them as well... hope rests to reset the ticker openin back up with even more to give as a bein toe tagged jus isn't an option to sell...

Giving in...

How many do u need to get through to find one piece of mind willin to show what it means to fuckin live..?. Down how many memory lanes will it take to find that one special moment that express what it is u have to give.?. Goin a lil further the more u drift into that neva endin void jus to collapse behind closed doors... When time is the only thing that speak to the fill of the fools u allow in so u can look jus the same wantin more... How much longer do I have before u close up shop n turn inward as if luv jus doesn't exist.?. Tellin yourself u can attempt to die emotions believin that words jus might be as true as unheard lips...

Entry 3306

I know the type... N I know one jus that way... I've met her before... I remembered her name... She's someone who got away... Only if i were her taste...  But I know the kind... N to me they could neva go to waste... As hands are not allowed to touch... As it seems I ain't their flava n such...  But I know what I crave... N with jus one of them I'd fall in luv... One imparticular I'd go all out... Yet it's not like that... For friends tend to matter more... even though my tone sounds beautiful with her if 

I were to state the facts... But I'm not in her heart... N I haven't spoken with the tongue of untold truths... Some things jus aren't up for discussion... No matter in how many ways u could put them to use...

Flood gates...

Am I delusional to believe if I were to open the flood gates you'd be able to maintain.?. Collecting your emotions by a train of thought that sets you apart for someone like me to enjoy the gain... Because the image in my mind of you and I is beyond breath taking... That is if u are capable of witnessing a different kind of man who isn't for all the excess fuckery... Chucking bad habits is past tense as we chuckle to the vibes breaking loose from the ribs joining sovereignty... There's a level of certainty that simply doesn't have shit to do but wait on the feel of I don't want to do without... As words are best heard with the clarity of sound whispered as close as lips can direct the mouth... So am I going to find what it is u claim to fucking be or is time another waste unable to be keep in the heart.?. U see, someone like me is just looking for a fresh start... Where thy head rests easy for a piece of mind crawling with kisses late at night... Are u a friend that has found who matters the most behind closed doors as your reflection walks with you in your mind.?. On some deep shit coming to the surface to live and get with it... Into me, are you willing to trip.?. Finding a man with no past worth the walk it took to leave where it lays... Thing is, I just need to know your name.!.

Imagining me...

So u wanna play peek-a-boo n not tell me who u are... As u read along with words that have touched my heart... Keepin quite like I don't know u are there... Or even if I've gathered enough nerve to show that I fuckin care... That depths have been dug n I find them emotion yet to be filled... As ur own eyes goin from word to word can't hold still... Lil screen peeker u must be waiting on ur moment to tell me what u think... Listenin to how I express myself in ur head tryin to imagine my voice n the way I breathe... Say something n let yourself be known or lip sync what comes from my head... Takin to yourself as u keep comin back each letter is being spoon fed... Hey u.!. Can u hear my truths.?. Rippin from my chest faster then I can put them out in the open where air can dry them up... Lemme know if it's the way I speak of the pain or if it's the way with life in so in luv... Here within these writings hidden from others that do not seem to care if they exist... What brings u to my story dropped with the clarity of wits.?. My curiosity is jus a piece of what it is I find a mystery... How is it u imagine me.?.

beginnings of ends...

we were great together...
that was until u went n forgot that i was ur friend before ur luv'r...
as i now know what it feels like to live without u as reality is crystal clear...
we die right here...

here in the dark...

lost in lines unread by the naked eye... tappin out the truths wishin they were rollin off the tongue... seems words truly don't mean shit if they can't be heard... fallin further away from the usefulness of being flush... arms dangle in suspense of a day to hold on tight... time in thoughts correct the feel of outspoken dreams... comin from these writings in true form wrapped around pieces gathered in a display... goin rounds around doorknobs yet to be twisted as palms sweat as they breathe... hesitations cling to the wordplay due to emotion plays a wicked game... alone is the feelin of free to be me locked away as if livin is caught up in between the overflow rushin to the surface... bringin to life past present n wtf there is to come... cautious not to become another version of someone else's worthless... curvin with letters wrote for use to find a reason to open back up... diggin in to the escape waitin its turn to evade this tuck within a crease i keep others from... magically relatin without verbal communication listenin to voices in my head come to life... damn near forgotten is the physicality of motion other than in the expressions fli[pin off at the gums... alone n in the dark for most of what's waste tends to find its way in a visual sense... lookin at my abnormal ability to speak without sound n get htrough as i to sit in the silence idling away... giving a peek of somethin more than i can get out to show... twistin the mind to bend with the understandin missed pushin through the games... here sits a man reconstructed by trial n error as depths wrapped the lettin go of one simple plan... neva give in to jus anyone as it's not an option to give up on what climbs in to adjust to the passions tale... within is a peek through the thinnin of skin unafraid to be kown for what it is the stands in view...from the mysteries we hide mine crawl out into the open of how relations taught me as they failed... jus one way to say beneath the whispers in which written is an individual attempt to catch myself ready to be felt...from broken lingo to proper tones as fingers play a typin mime goin the fuck off... usin a rearranged alphabet to find the point of no return as this is me as self... entangled in the syllables tryin to keep up with the conversations i have in my fuckin head bcuz there's no one here to talk to... as fingerprints erase these creative ways to reach for what i've neva know n everything unexpectedly found as focus fights through a blur... typin a story unseen in the real world to the realization that winds up shunned to the side... in the moments it takes to rub keys i could be releasin my alll from my mouth as i'm trapped gabbin to myself in a relentless exhaustion buyin time i can neva get in return... shoved into sentences is rhymes with no music as lips mutter with the proof that i'm willin to get it... tasted is the sliver of uncontrolled delivery more bitter as the sweeter i find the end comin soon enough... somewhat smeared is the dribbe of length gone to have a lil more than this in my life... yet actions have shown every single term tell the spittin truth of not everyone can luv...

U don't havta deal with me...

I may not be what u are seeking... Nor fit the image u hold yet to come to life that will make it easier for u to continue breathing... But I am here n I am a real being... N it's ok if I'm besides the point of what u think ur needing... So for me to relate to relations in regards of jus how ur fleeing... Jus tell me so before my own heart begins it's leaving... Feeling yet another one as I to create the magic pleasing... Words could neva hurt if truths open up to the way emotion could be leaking... Pretending until we get to wearing jus isn't appealing... The same way I find it disturbing that u refuse to see the real me... Meeting expectations at the highest levels of revealing worth to the dealings... N i know I might jus be another distant feeling... It's even possible that I alone am interfering... But I'll never be a waste of time to sit n watch u healing... So I'll wait if I must, on u tto tell me what u consider is the real thing... I'mma do my thing bcuz I ain't one that's into stealing.... If it isn't mine to enjoy I don't wanna attempt the memories in ur head reeling... U feel me.?.

the saddest thing known...

they tell me i'm the one that's missed... as their words reach to me as i'm the one they lost... i hear them say they wish they could go back n change the way things took place... as from a far i listen to how I was the best thing in their lives as they're payin the cost... apologies send chills up my spine as my mind cracks in disbelief...when i stood in the way of a different kinda freedom they couldn't see me... It seems time makes them remember how it was me that made them feel wanted... as i've been placed back into their loneliest fuckin dreams... i'm told that i was the only one they could count on as they feel ashamed of how they did me caught up in their own thoughts... n it's hard to sit still long enough to gather the words to express i could neva return to the way things were... as they understand i'm jus not strong enough for us all to keep the fiasco goin well beyond the moment of control losin grips on flaws... they call n they text in an form they can jus to hear my voice... to speak a few truths of how i was felt in their own unkind gestures i didn't deserve... damn how time flips its switches after the fact of the hardships that wind up in situations like this... n i wonder if they'll eva quit or get over me the way they said they would in the heat of the moment that neva went unheard... they claim the luv is real as they realize i witnessed my own worth take a bow... n i try to remain friends from where i rest my head jus so i know i can sleep without lookin over my shoulder... it's fucked up to be so close to someone who jus wants to rip u apart... n i'm still the same person through it all as they now see me in a way i stand out in their minds as we grow older... lost in a sense yet, found by what could neva be denied... from time to time i feel them as they cry due to me bein gone... as it's in their tone cracklin n breakin sounds... n we all know, no one won.!. 

Misfits...

There's times where I don't feel like shit... N others where I can't close my lips... I have moments in which I'm on to falling off the world licking it... As the sneak up creeps when done is not feeling like dealing with this worlds bullshit... I can touch my own goofiness goin goochie goo in my ribs... But, yet, I'm no one to get excited about being caught up on the mix... It depends on the mood I'm feeling in happy or pist... Sometimes life gets me down n i go under my own whip... Finding life besides the point of losing my wits... I even awaken to a chirp that jus finds its way as if I'm a gift... Different things occur due to i spend so much time alone somewhat by those who've failed me missed... Feeling the distance actions brought about to shy away from their kiss... Pieces of rage rise from memories the same as the chuckle i get when thoughts slip... I'm jus human n i go through the motions emotions tend to fix... From the highest of highs to the adjustment my attitude needs as a twist... Thinking the pain isn't worth clinched fists... As those happy lil seconds make a different to laugh n tug a smile with a twitch... Even sexual acts wind up hands on felt with my very own mits... Tasting words flipped... I tend to teeter on the balance of what"s been dismissed... To what remains as the light coming from a single candle as the definition of lit... N I luv swapping spit with someone close enough to lemme in well past the tip... I have days that make no fucking sense as worth takes a hit... somewhere within me I forget there's no difference in any one of our pits... there's things goin on inside that surface when we're trying to exist... As we from within exit... Seen as strengths n weaknesses talked about as if we are the only ones who digest the interest... Yet it's our intent to be who we are growing cold to be heated up for the sake of selfishness... I go back n forth fighting my loneliness as I trip... Thing is, do u get the point bcuz here n there I'm nothing more than pocket lint... As I'm better than letting someone else affect my bliss... Yes, i care n I still don't give a fuck as I'm jus like u, a misfit.!.

i want u...

take em off...

let's get lost...

pause n roll with a stare...

lean into what's so fuckin rare...

remove what hides ur truths...

lemme see use...

call a truce with me...

open up m breathe...

free n willin to be seen...

mix ur wants with ur needs...

dreams freed become reality...

finger fuckin the skins sanity...

gimme some proof...

sail with my heart on a cruise...

show me u care...
as yourself , with me, share...

rise me hard n drop me soft...

dig in n get raw...

from the shallows of ur mind...

to the depths of ur time...

wave me in to u as i swim...

do a lil somethin like live...

butt azz naked goin all out...

listenin to the vulgar sounds...

as whispers turn into moans...

mouths tastin the flow...

movin lips walkin across the skin...

release the hesitation tucked in between ur ribs...

live a lil n cum...

it's ok to fall in luv...
u must know, i have this crush...

n my emotion don't run...

not the way u do...

givin chase to the way u move...

come from beneath ur clothes...

upon my texture roam...

collide n slide with the sweat...

as sweet as the bitterness explodes to the sweep...

drip with me...

i wanna go deep...

landin within u somewhere no ones ever been...

feelin depths come from within...

standin along the wall n bent over whatever we can find...

jus takin our time...

i mean what i say...

lip to lip to lip n face to face...

bared n taken away with the sensation of touch...

flush...

the making of pet names...

i can feel u... n the smell that makes ur scent... lingerin in the air with luv... in a moment in which i fell i go back to what hasn't happened... i see u but only behind my eyes... as ur figure blurs an unknown face... as nights fall into the presence of our lives... i know it's u that whispers my name... hidden in the silhouette in my own mind... time seems to have u tucked in a cuddle... not yet ready to reveal u to me... n oh the wait to hold u is felt with a muzzle... how am i to speak.?. ur touch rushes the emotions clingin to ur movement... fingertips playin with the way my bodies twitch... selfish to the keep it's ur passion u give to me as i hold it... caught up tongue tied with the tenderness of ur own lips... listenin to the way u chuckle as u laugh... my mind wraps around u the deeper the darkness gets... i have thoughts tryin to figure of the shape of ur days crash... laid down beside me chatterin at the jibs... somewhere along my walk ur there steppin in my way... dippin into a stare peepin back locked the fuck in... beneath the sinkin on the stay... makin that sweet ease of passionate luv'n... comin to life is u alive in my mind... calmin the beast that tracks through unused motions... closer than the expressions can rhyme... droppin tongues to please the texture of devotion... i see an image... in true form with a gentleness in its sway... ready to enjoy my life growin old with age... yet, i do not know ur name...

Hancock's freedom...

Damn near free... In a sense of the mind finally letting go of a fucking dream... Released is the seams not needing to be busted loose... Time gathered what it needed of proof... Opening the hands to let the air once again breathe... Through with the emotional greed... The let down of a relation that sucked me dry... Finding who I am needing my eyes... Coming up on the truce of it's no longer a thing that concerns me... A voided contract is the weight that's out me in my knees... Now as close as I can get to stepping away for someone else to realize the bitch truly ain't shit... Yet thy tongue won't stoop as low as to babble at the lips... As luv is no loss with a smile I cannot resist as the signing allows life to retract back to the way it was before... Keeping quiet to how the heart fell in love with being laid out in the floor... There was a special place where I've learned what I craved to know... N coming from within I don't believe I can be cloned... I have it in me live in comfort once again... Out into the open as a new found man... For it's something I've waited on for quite some tics... Even unclinched the hatred in my fists... As the day is upon me to reclaim the individual I lost along the way... I'm here n in this mindset of mine, I'm gonna stay... So thanks to a long friends that had come n gone that forced me to see things in a different light... Bcuz now, I truly get to live my life...

back to life...

walls breathin as if their tired of seeing my face... heart beatin like i jus can't seem to escape... life rolls by with me trapped behind closed doors... n it's my mind that's beginning to want more... hidden away from this world to gain what i already have... i found a piece of mind sittin alone n unafraid of my own name... yet, the paint bubbles from the boil of me bein in this fuckin room... damn near doin time waitin on my moment to remove this noose... i;m thinkin of breakin free from the loneliness that's ran its coarse... comin in a sense of back to life for my face to be seen jus wantin a lil bit more... i haven't been livin these past few yrs due to a decision that wound me up lookin for a way out... i got sucked in to regain what i lost as me tappin on letters that rarely reach the mouth... enclosed in my head is the same as bein locked away... i feel i'm ready to open the gates n release the wait... time has taken its toll on the healin of who it is i am... n i know who it is that sits still enough to be recognized as a man... not that i care what others think as i've stayed in my lane while i searched for me... only if the echos here didn't mute themselves into the silence as the words that went unheard were a steppin stone now removed from lost dreams... i wanna come out n play again before i get trapped within these shackles in which i've placced on myself... n i was wantin to neva return as there is somewhere in live someonme who;s willin to be felt... for the moments i spent solo residin with out a friend to talk to is where imma leave what i shed from my thoughts... no weights can drag me down n i carry no one that cannot go with the way life is tossed... with a smile i've linger for far to long... n by fuckin golly i jus need a fresh start that opens my hearts emotion prolonged... from the depths of the shadows here without a window to see the light of day... i am alive n i believe i'm the same as a single sun ray... as i only have a couple more writings in my fingertips left... i at the brink of gettin outta this domain that;s captured best... written as if words have become actions with movement to be seen... watch out world, i'm yet to be me...

peepin...

how much different are u.?. where do u stand on ur own lookin back at this world.?. bcuz i'm a lil out there n don't mind jus gettin it in the way i do... so, how's is it in which ur head twirls... have u broken away from the same ol bs that has everyone actin the like their so different.?. whether it be gender race or any other common issue that only exists if u allow it to be who u are... where do u fit into who u are unaffected by the influences that tend to wanna as self reinvent.?. i wanna know bcuz it determines the effect of the temptation of my own heart... i don't do those social nor society attachments of twisted feelings leachin on emotions... are u free.?. allowin yourself to live n let shit be exactly what the fuck it is as there's a simplicit kinda devotion... one in which has found ya groove n u jus do what u do livin in the day where we come together as friends first so there's more than a sense of feelin complete... pretendin isn't my thing as i roll with the mornings that come for another chance to get up n at it... mentally i jus luv to be... figurin a way to enjoy as it comes as natural as an attitude that brings out the best of sidesteppin to bs... lookin from my own angle waitin on someone who can't help but to be an individual at one with the way they breathe... how much do u appreciate what it is u have away from the materials that ruin people lives.?. able to relate beyond the falsifications of a superficial life... in which way do u consider free to be as life goes on.?. u see, i ain't like anyone you've ever met so do u havta live through someone or can u sleep at night, depopulating thoughts in an unpeopled mind ... on somethin everyone claims as some real shit lettin loose with the way i'm goin... can we jus be similar without all the two who can neva truly be as one.?. what's the treasure u seek that tends to elude ur grasp.?. holdin on to what u say u luv... do u know there is no such thing as a perfect match.?.

let's be as real as even crystals aren't clear...

i cannot sleep so here i go... let's research what i can find to help me live it through...  i need some positive shit that jus simply doesn't know how to hide... reverse jus isn't an option when i can take the financial burden to be free from bein enslaved in the mind... no can do for the creativity to see life in a different way lives... n there is ,uch i still have to give... to my fuckin self... bcuz i deserve  to be happy in every aspect with only what helps... don't speak outta line bcuz i will be gone so u to can find somethin u enjoy.... baby, i ain't the one to be tried as a toy.!. if i cannot have what i lend as a bit of a comfort, there's no reason in clingin to me... i am not one of ur forced realities where miserability takes control n dreams... actions will neva take a back seat to my own fuckin shine... i could give a fuck less if it isn't real n worth my time... lookin at angles that thrive with a moment to relax rather than hold me down... i wanna live for i've spent more than enough time alone to find who it is i am standin on my own two feet wonderin with the silence of sound... lookin in a new direction... over in the yonder for my own protection... n that goes any of u... let's speak the fuckin truth... u wanna know the same way i'm literally dyin to find out... i'm zoned the fuck out knowin what true luv is n i ain't seen nowhere near the likes of it put to use...walk with me, leave n come back... you'll know then without pushin youself to have a heart attack... for me i'm mentally intact the way u so claim to be... luv it or like it we want the same things n that is to be truly free... for i am not lost nor here or there... my home is not open but for sure isn't  bare... there's room to move around in my emotions like the sliver on a stick can get.... as we would havta be friends... otherwise i can't do it as assumptions are shut the fuck up... it's like over luv.!. or stay the ur silly azz awat from me... i know what i live to breathe... you'd jus be an additive understood to give pleasure in many different ways... n right now i'm here within this day... prolly talkin to u... or even u... bcuz for the life of me idk who u are... so no, u cannot have the depths of the lunge into my over sized heart... step along side n let's move as action speak without words... sssh, as even this shouldn't havta be heard...

hey mama...

i jus caught a tear thinkin of u... seems i spend to much time alone if i were to speak the truth... i remember how u were my life... mama made life so much better as u cross my mind... i can't find a friend my morals will accept... i believe i'm more like u than what was expected..  i've become a lil to hesitant... n i've learned how to  isolate myself protectin what rests in my chset.... i miss u beyond words that can express the luv u gave to me... damn near 19 years without u i somehow got lost in this dream... i ran from the reality of u being gone for so fuckin long... n somewhere along the lines i went lookin for a lil comfort that went wrong... n as i think of u here tonight i whipser behind these walls... i know u can;t hear me but iwish u could tell me how to correct this one undeniable flaw... i heard u tell me what it would be that would take me away from myself as i didn't listen to what u had to say... yet, i don't have anyone to open up to who wants to share the exchange of names... i know, i gotta take care of me n me n neva rely on anyone else that'll eventually run away... u were right n i'm not for jus anyone to come along n think they have what it takes... as these fuckin tears are beginning to run down my face i wish u could tell me one more thing... why do i havta pour my heart out jus to watch em leave.?. i can feel the emotion rippin me apart even though i have a presence of mind thanks to u... no, i'm not a bad man, i jus can't seem to get life together nor rid myself of this caboose... i could use some help here mama... but i can't take another female that feeds me the fuckin drama... the pain in which u spoke of is as real as the air i breathe... u knew who i was long before i did so it seems... i hide behind closed doors not afraid jus unaware of who's who playin those same ol lame azz games... everyone talks of how it's always someone else's fault they fell in luv n fell from the same feel as if there was nothin to gain... blame blame blame, u tried to express to me to jus be who it is i am... n that i have as they look at me as if i'm too far gone to luv as if i'm not their type of man... although i recently had to separate from one that was a lil different bcuz there were things that complicated what i could allow in my life... mama, when's it gonna be my time.?. why can't i find my groove here as i feel so fuckin alone... u know i ain't for the fuckery as i jus can't find my home... when u told me i'd find the realist person within me i didn't know i'd havta go through so many fake faces that force a smile jus to get what they want... not matter where i go i wind up lookin around n no ones there... i jus keep comin back to typin my life away to the thoughts that take the place of friends that simply ain't here... it takes my mind back in time to when someone actually cared... n i can't remember the last time i had a lil fun with my emotions bared... i wish u were here so i could have someone to talk to... everyone here always winds up actin like fools... i luv mama n i miss u in ways i neva thought i would... i'd bring u back if i could...

focused on lil ol u...

lay it down... if u wanna play fair ur gonna havta come out... i ain't about to dig in to find what u don't want me to know... let's be grown...  is it me or is it u u don't trust... i'm not talkin about luv... i jus wanna see u in ur true form... no, u don't know me but there's somethin in me worth a lil more... that is if you'd like to see for yourself... there's a possibility we could be felt... but ur gonna havta throw the bullshit to the side... to get it goin it's a must to find a reason to have one an other in our lives... how much time are u workin with.?. lemme see what it is u have to give... i ain't lookin to complicate ur life... i'm jus curious to how u feel on matters that others only claim as words create lines... i'm straight to the point n i'm interested in what makes u tick... open the doors the ur saloon of fools u let in n i'll show u why u won't need em to live... maybe we can relate n witness someone as real as we speak of... goin with how smooth we come into the nights skies in a wonder of what's to become of luv... place who u are in front of me the way i'm willin to let u crawl beneath my skin... it jus might come to temrs of a win win... that is if ur who u say u are... bcuz i don't play when it comes to my heart... i'd rather sit alone the way i do... yet, i somehow got focused on lil ol u... so place what it is u claim into a view in which i could neva deny... let's fly... take that moment we could both pass on n see where it goes... there could be a mornin when one of our beds or both could comfort our toes... slippin on the roll ove in between the sheets holdin jus past the movment of the night... as for now i'd jus be present to how sink behind my eyes... crossin my minds feel of u n i goin a lil further than we were jus yesterday... i'm jus sayin don't count me out but i'm not gonna wait around for i have a life myself to find satisfaction that jus wants to stay... 

if u knew...

it's not bcuz i can't be luv'd... nor the option of blame in which i don't know how to flush... it's jus the drugs that got in the way that fucked me all up.. ones i neva have done that others thought were so much more fun...i'mma damn good man when relations come along... i have no issues with the way heart beats bang to the drums of what can neva be prolonged... all in a snazzy lil way of words not once put into a song... as it was me i thought could neva go wrong... yet as it turns out i jus wasn't enough... n those iv'e chosen seemed to fall one at a time to the hi of the touch... when it hit their bloodstreeam the felt the rush... as it was me standin outside their mood crushed... tryin to find my own movement so i to could feel like i'm luv'd... the way they were before they went under their fix... as it was me in the center of their mix... that  lifestyle jus wasn't for me as i was forced to pull away from their lips... findin myself as the enemy as my own emotions were ripped... from the dope to the booze to the pills that invaded my life... i lost years i can neva get back jus doin what's right... n in between the crack of my mind i found a piece of me that got tired of givin away my time... it wasn't me that gave up on what i had to reclaim as mine... i too feel things that are hard for me to believe in... knowin how lil of a thing that could replace me within... the substances must've felt greater than i coulda eva made em grin... bcuz i sit alone time n time again... followin finger that point like i'm broken inside... not kowin i jus want a friend how won't leave me here in reality who's guaranteed to remain by my side... so judge me if u must n talk into ears that sit upon the shoulders that collect the lies... i'm very well capable of turnin like into luv once i get to the point where i know without a doubt they luv it here in the middle of life... able to think for themself... it's not what u think sittin wherever u are castin assumption of why i'm single without relations that help... it's not that i jus cannot be felt... they jus all turn out to be addicts as it's my passion like a candle that melts...

be gone...

i didn't lose a fuckin thing... i feel every lil thing left at ruin sittin in my hands as i let go... u were the one who walked away bcuz u weren't strong enough to get with it... so now i pause in a moment of declaration to stomp the life from my own.... beatin hearts fail to relate in which turns to pain... u ain't shit comin from up n under my breath... there wasn't a fuckin thing i didn't luv about u but the way i hate u.... quietly kept i ain't pressed for the things iv'e learned from the vibe released from ur chest... toodles is in the way i feel pretty damn good... fuckin a fuck fuck with a dump truck droppin the feelin of u at the dump... yeah, like ugly kid joe it's everything about u... n i wouldn't go back if i could... other than to skip the part where u came into my life... u as a wife plucks the chuckle from my ribs... knowin u know what u do of how i felt for u... as u say it wasn't u but even that bs was lies jumpin at me with knives from ur precious lips... as i told myself jus be mature or i might as well chalk it up as i neva cared.... yet these past few days i've realized i have untold truths neva spoken of u... so who in the fuck do u think u are.?. as if i truly wanted to know on my way back to my life where lusts are fare... to be honest i gain the realness of who it is i am... waitin around lookin inward iv'e come full circle n luv what i've found... so as i release ur name on a whip flicked from my own tongue jus know there's nothin left... u lost one hell of a man.!.

comin...

twiddlin thumbs breakin rotation on the sights of u... ain't much goin on til u come close enough to me comin unglued... hands on fingerin ur skin for the feel of the intensity comin to life... flowin with the adrenaline as u invade the thought process infiltratin my mind... comin out to play is all the things thought up when we ain't together... regainin consciousness to go at it again rollin around on either side of the covers... callin out who's comin first unable to continue for the way it feels... damn skippy, get it girl... lemme hear u come from ur inner world... my hands ain't been in luv with curves in quite some time... i think i might be incomin around to keepin u in my life... as air evades the space in between us... somehow clingin to the texture wet n sweatin comin undone... i get lost at the visual display in which way u appear... n from the looks of u i luv to interfere... gettin caught up in ya mix n gettin at life... on a physical note from me to u i'm turned the fuck on... so on to u i'm comin on...

ghost flames...

original form...

light em up... spark that shit... add some fire yo ur life... feel the heat take u away... place it upon ur lips n take it in... blaze a moment n send it on it's way... life's too short bot to ease the fuck back... it;ll come back around... take it n toke... n pass that shit on... jus watch the smoke... breathe... let the movement clinch ur mind... slowin the process to feel the mood... hit it... ignite ur life... fly... pack... roll... flick a bic... twisty feely it's time to slip away... watch the blues n yellows burn the greens... poof, it's like magic what it can do... as natural as our own dna... puff puff n relax... cloud 9 is on its way... jus sit back n be one... matchsticks on flames applied to the relief of the struggle... goin inward for the feel of confusion not givin a fuck... bowls n wraps at ur will of use... get em hot n tap in to another place in time... heal yourself... live...

rhyme...

light em up... jus ssh, hush... spark that shit... rise with the lift... add some fire to ur life... high... feel the heat take u away... fade... place it upon ur lips n take it in... fuck where you've been... blaze a moment n send it on it's way... share n escape... life's too short not to ease the fuck back... inhale n dig into the sack... it'll return on the rotation comin around... taste the flava in ur mouth... take it n toke... jus watch the smoke... pass that shit on... find the direction of ur mind in which way it's goin... breathe... find that ease... let the movement find yourself as u are... there's no need in war... break away from time... a gram is only a dime... slowin the process to feel the mood... jus make sure u have food... hit it... enjoy the chuckle in ur ribs... ignite ur life... fly... pack, roll, flick a bic... twisty feely it's some good shit... yes, it's time to slip away... mentally fallin away from the same ol same... watch the blues n yellows burn the greens... play within the trees... poof, it's like magic what it can do... engulfed is the room... as natural as our own dna... puff puff n relax n stay sane... cloud 9 is on its way... jus sit back n be one with the day... matchsticks on flames applied to the relief of the struggle... goin inward to elude the feel of confusion not givin a fuck about a muzzle... bowls n wraps at ur will of use... peace luv n happiness is the truth... get em hot n tap into another place in time... gain another aspect of life... heal yourself...ur health it will help... with the feel jus slip... live...

who we are...

it's jus the emotion telling feelings to be hurt due to expectations falling short of what we want each other to be... thing is, where do we go from the understanding that it's gonna happen when we allow luv to take like to another level of free... are we grown to know it is never intentional as we jus wanna be who we are.?. or does freedom come in a different sense of parting ways due to the immaturities of selfishness claiming ownership of the heart.?. as this is what i awaken to as thoughts ramble on the scramble to relate so time lasts to the end we promised to stick through the thick n thin of the skin... are we friends or jus luv'rs getting caught up under the covers never to find who we are wanting to play.?. don't let the mind get confused on trying to mold me into someone i do not know n i won't havta leave the one place i'd luv to stay... i can't let u down if u won't believe i'm this perfect piece of mind that can do no wrong for i am human the same as u... so how is it u wanna out me to use.?. in the presence of who it is i come from to give to u in a way i'm gonna do things u do not approve of... can u jus let me do what it is i do as i find u in my arms lost in luv with the need of want.?. it's the focus that gets blurred falling in that takes the eyes from the prize walking away for enough is enough... jus stand with me n live to enjoy me walking my path closer than anyone else n i'll keep u in mind... friendships expire by the chance of imprisonment locked away without a change to be who it is i am in which u cannot find... so who is it u think i am as i pause for u to get to know me... am i in the flesh or do i leave my image here with u to imagine me in ur dreams.?. be my thunder as i crash like lightning n life will play out... with no rules cling to me as my voice calls to u by name wrapped around the sound released from my mouth... are we grown or are we still learning how to let people be who they are... am i here to be or do i need to duck n dart.?.everything is mental as we allow what is to be through actions doing thier thing... listening to the bells going dingalinaling...

no longer...

i won't luv u again... it's done... i wasn't enough in ur eyes when i was more than what u needed... i was the source of ur fun... the clown that stood up n took every blow... u ain't shit fr... words you'll never hear me say... i no longer care how u feel... there's no chance to keep it goin... friends found truths yrs ago.. it's time for me to smile again... i've spent too much time waitin around as u misplaced what everyone knows... i refuse to feel u... i luv to hate to expression that lies... fuck a truce for ur own recognition... yet, here, now get the fuck outta my mind... u ain't welcome in my heart... i've reclaimed my own... u can go... n take ur fake plated azz thrones... i shoulda drank u away... but i gave u the benefit of the doubt... i'm no longer addicted to u the way u are to the drugs... as these words will never find u mutin sound... i have nothin left to give to u... it's ran it's course... as ur jus an other stranger trying to get what u want... leave me be, i don't want u no more... i am no longer in luv... i can't feel u no mo... i jus need u to stop thinkin i'm always gonna be here when u ain't been there for me... ur low... 

no one wants someone like me...

they ain't takin a double take on me... i'm not their version of perfection as thoughts flood dreams... it's someone else that they seem to seek... i've seen eyes roll as mine tend to leak... there's a difference in the way they turn away... they'd rather feel pain than think about stayin... my kinda tongue is only what they want from someone else... every time i can neva be felt... words drip beneath the level of their depths found to be so shallow... yet, i'm the one that wants to be hallow...i hear em talk about the man they wish they could find... as i stand alone, so i know it's all lies... it's the same ol same as they cling to those who truly ain't shit... as they listen to the words released from my very own lips... i guess i'm no more than a feel as their intent awakens... givin the luv to an other as it's in the makin... over lookin the wonder spit from my mind... as their curiosity only prepares em for a moment in someone else's life... but it doesn't hurt to watch em take what i say n crave it by anyone but me... i'm used to it as time rolls with my needs... they jus make it a lil easier to live without the chance of bein hurt... all i'll ever be to any of em is jotted down words... they fear me bcus i ain't like anything they've ever known... so they keep it movin as it makes no sense to sit alone... one man i am on idle due to my sights watchin em go in n outta relations... not once pokin anything other than a lil fun to but em some time in my direction... as i can't hear the volume of tone come at me with a piece of somethin worth me comin out to play... it's jus the silence that never breaks as if i'm insane... not knowin i've jus spent a lil too much time alone n i could use a fuckin friend... it's like i'm not allowed to have what they give so easily to others so unfuckin deservin of yet their emotions thats cries in the end... as i know the feelin as my head spins from the visual of bein the guy they come to, to find reason in the twist... it's as funy as a crack in the rib... holdin the i told u so's back jus goin with the flow... jus to witness em flee witht he next one as they go to show a new so called luv their hearts home... when they die inside i tend to bring em back to life... then i go hide back in my hole where i no one wnats someone like me to unwind... findin i care less each n every time due to i jus ain't pressed...  i keep the feel of never enough in my chest...

boo...

where are u, damn u??? within who's shell do u reside??? i need u here. i want u in my life... who's face in which do u hide??? come from the inner shell n ease my fuckin mind. there's much to give if u open ur eyes... show me the colors that lay so still. in which way are u built??? as a woman comin in to view... whom do u seek other than me standin with a truce??? i wanna know if it's me that triggers ur smile... bcuz if ur real u stay til the end of worth the while... how can i find u if i were to look??? where do u come in to the writtens of my book??? i'm curious to the feel of the fit... as it's me placed upon ur lips... are u anywhere i've been or am i gettin close??? step on my shadow if i come across home... there's no other space i'd luv to get lost... other than with u opened n raw... reach n find me with welcomin arms... i have passion goin to waste in my heart... do i stand here n wait on u to drift ur way in to my life??? or are u awaitin my arrival where u sit losin ur moind??? do u crave me the way i don't even know ur name??? are u wantin to lean in before u go insane... we weren't to be left alone past the point of correctin self... if u can hear me, i need ur help... i don't know whether to turn around or follow the wind... did i pass u somewhere i once had been??? has ur stare watched me walk on by?? for some reason i do not think we've met n i wonder why... thoughts come n they go for what's to be shown... i'm askin u these things to see if u wanna be known... out to play is what's on my lonely mind... reveal yourself to me so we can try... i have so much i wanna say... n the things we have to do are flow like night n day... step from the darkness i know oh so fuckin well... i jus wanna be felt... to feel ur presense comin to life... listenin to long overdue sighs...

touch n go...

i touch it to watch it slip away... so far it feels gone as i'm here to stay... luv comes to me as it turns itself into the void of sound... holdin hearts jus doesn't seem to count... seams let loose the sleeves where emotion lives... tears n tares with rips... moments follow the drip of turns being up... time only pauses for the enjoyment of flush... laid out n feely withthe ease... gone, poof, wind whips a scream... bringing the pain close for comforts gain... pieces of self correct n maintain... bumpin into the gettin while it's good... if they'd only remain in true form if they would... drifts blow friends from fingertips mentally alone... connection lost, where goes home.?. restless to the feel of nights to breathe... in a much different sense of free... calmin the nerve settles with a past gained...awaitin the next voice to stutter to thy name... the cometh leaves on the repeat of selfish needs... passion begs from the lettters of please... not again, not another one... shuttin the vault damn near done... clinchin facts that gave their word... lips have no trust as actions are learned... goin all in to bottle up in the end... help, i could use a friend...

the vibe...

i felt me break standing in the garage in which i lived as since then i jus haven't been the same... the snap corrected my train of thought that recaptured my hearts calling... finding my name on a set of lips that rambled over what they could never have... somewhat heartless, but for my own good i had this ora come over me in the middle of stalling... the crack that released the my own worth so i could see it as plain as day opened in a crazy way... there i stood with my head half cocked smiling as it felt oh so fucking good to remain... to come from within as an untouchable back to who it was i once was... someone that never seen the meaning of self righteous luv... my coocoo clock ticked at the strike of i jus don't give a fuck... n ever since the correction of self defined the feel of the usefulness of a woman's touch... i went a that away late one night while i paced to bitch don't kill my vibe... as for some reason i woke up chuckling in a mindset all my own wanting to get back at life... with one rule as to never let anyone else in so deep for i don't ever again wanna lose me... n i don't have an issue as to jus getting up to leave... due to i cracked my head on a lesson well learned... i gained ,my worth as i went unheard... bumping my headphones as the only therapeutic relief i will ever need... i got back to being me...

running outta life...

i've been here for hours n the walls won't talk to me... for some strange reason i'm the only one here breathing... alone is getting older than my age as time ticks through my mind... knowing the course of actions that left me feeling like i'm running outta life... staring at the things here in this chilly room... it's two fourteen as it's not a clocks rotation of day hidden from the moon... there's no windows to see the world in which i hide away from... n i believe i've jus ran out of the notion of being constantly numb... as my thoughts linger with the passion lost causing me to feel where i once lived... it was a magical place unlike this one that at times had so much luv to give... i'm trapped within finding reason to lurk behind closed doors... yet my heart begs for use of something more... i quietly in a periodical scattered like pattern reach for my throat as if i'm overflowing... i'm going to waste for what's been held within my stir is showing... mirrors don't lie as i can not look myself in the eye... i truly feel like i'm doing some hard azz time... listening to the echo of my voice bounce back to me i believe i need something other than this... how is it i dropped everything n lost it all to prove luv exists.?. n here i sit, alone n unwinding by myself day in n day out as nights remove me from my own reality... i'm a man of meaning n purpose that sleeps solo in my drift as i even leave me... there's no feedback to me conversation as i've already found myself within my corrected tone... i am where i cannot be found long n far away from the selfishness of luv that has no home... tears form in the wells of my vision that blurs in the dark... for there is no company i've encountered worth me coming from this dungeon to allow another woman to see me lower my guard... what's truly real here as there's no point in lying about how people are fake... when all i've ever wanted was for jus one individual fall in luv with saying my name... although it's me i hear going over the reels in my head that are set on repeat... damn i need something new to bring me back to my feet... i don't deserve to do this to myself even though there's to much to straighten out... as no one will ever get close enough to my whispers sneaking away from my muted mouth...

Break away...

Let's grow old n watch the grays grow in until there's nothing but time showing our age... Acting like we ain't got no sense as if we're still in our adolescence enjoying every aspect engaged... As there's nothing that could ever force a gap in between the way we feel as our luv'd ones feed from our vibe... I'm talking about that real shit we wonder exists that comes to life within You & I... I wanna break away from the feel of falling in luv with the pit emptied as a self righteous mind takes shelter within me... I'm done with the lies that find their way to the curve of the lip flipping truths as if we're nothing but the bitter elder needing to breathe... I jus want to feel u lean in to me the way i fall in to u every single fucking day... Yet, I don't know who u are hidden like camouflage eyes within the hunt of so many that don't mean what they say... Who isn't ready for their turn to live the dream of moments that lead to the legacy of a woman n a man.?. Bcuz I am... Damn...

Dust bunnies...

On every turn around that occurs I come back here to empty my beating heart... Finding the shelf of memories accept one an other as if long lost friends jus doing their part... This space in which discussion takes place is a rather lonely feeling letting go of the wheel... Listening to voices from the past chatter amongst themselves to what they claim was real... N i watch em mingle as if I do not exist in their moment as my mind plays tricks on me... As i drift away in to the wonder of what it's like to have someone be more than a dream... Coming into view I return every so often with a new story to be told of a man that falls short... Damn near rehearsing the scenes time n time again so a chance will come n become the norm... I collapse with the thought of a body that won't change like the faces that have been here n left... As the whispers from the shelves release the intent buried in a secret lil stash in my chest... Never to wind up in the same broken azz feel of collecting dust to be blown away with my life... With my own imaginations feet dangling with those who's tootsies linger to remember what's blind... Playing touchy feely with the scars as I'm unable to collide with the one i face everyday... I kick it with who's found their way behind my eyes to leave me as sight opens to the fade...

Painfully happy for those...

Tears fill the wells of my eyes witness to those truly in luv...
Knowin the walk away from owns self pain once held the touch...
Clingin to the skins feel beneath the texture of self opened up...
Drips fall with the heads turn lookin away from lips untamed n flush...

i can't let u in...

time doesn't have credit for a do over jus bcuz u need to rethink what it is u think u thought u mighta wanted from get go... there is no scratching the surface n trying to get a scent u know damn well u ain't gonna wanna smell so lie to me some mo... i can hear it in ur delivery that the last one u let in hasn't checked out as ur on a delay to reply to some real shit that could very well be standing firm right before u... depending on ur own mentality established prior to u thinking u need me to heal yourself which to me is an ignorant suggestion u need to cut loose... how are u gonna look at me with someone else taking up the space i'd wanna kick back in n tell me u wanna dig in to what u don't know about me... seems to me u truly need to learn a lil something about yourself as it's ur haert that's out on loan waiting on whoever it might be to come on home n evict me as if i were jus a play thing... there's no use in trying make me believe in ur own self worth where u jus need anyone that;ll do to hold on to while ur walking around like u the shit... my lips don't move for fake kisses spread thin enough to cut air with trying to get away n go back to the same lame azz sumbitch that broke ur intent... seconds add up as even these words have drawn way to far along entertaining the notion that u have the time to move on from where ur heart wants to be... so please, don't go into character bcuz i know ur kind as one day u to will leave... i can't let u in past the feel good of sexual interest coming to life jus to buy some time... don't lie...

mute be gone...

findin that ramble that makes ur day... that kinda feel that listens to the meltin of names... jus a chattin with ur friend... breakin away from trends... thinkin damn... gettin closer than hands can land... relapsin in to unused emotions... relative to givin devotion... as it's the voice of whom it comes from within that breaks sound barriers... as ur own heart becomes their carrier... talkin til the nights gets away... as sizzles upon the tips of candles tame the flame... lips cater to attention when hearing tone as a sigh... exhaled beneath the lights goin blind... rushing to the tongues movement goin with the flow... knowin who it is in them u actually fuckin know...

head up...

leavin it all where it wound up, u ain't been anything that resembles forgotten... u damn near got all the way in n i applaud ur efferts that fell short of ur addiction jus wantin a friend... raw n landin here is the memory of what was that neva came through like the one jus before u, u were so jealous of... yet it's ok bcuz i felt things for u time cut short due to it jus wasn't supposed to be as we to found our end... don't think a friendship will go without lips that will remain to talk... as ur own will come in due time as long u keep movin to correct ur own in which i gave a moment of my own life to help... as in u i found who it was i lost as i was unable to give u what it was u couldn't want bad enough to get clean... shelby, u were felt... younger with a way about u that took me by surprise i let u go bcuz u had an addiction that cost me everything jus before we met... n i watched u round the same bends as the friend prior to u standin next to me as she once stood... shit wasn't easy fallin down with no way to stand back up as u know i fuckin tried to have u here with me... as things between us will forever remain all good... lil bit, u brought me back through the hardships landin in mirrors as u drifted from these hands of mine chasin that feel of desperation... down in my depths u will go with a special place knowin i can not live the life u ran to as even the thought of goin back to the struggle isn't possible as we fade... there's nothin that fazes me for it was u that helped me feel that life u chose not to feel yourself as if u gave me all of what u had to give of ur own shine... n to think there was nothin but a friendship i could ever give u is the endless vibe that'll be there no matter the time or place if u truly need me for ur own personal gain... i'm emptying the feel of ripples that linger n u havta go... there's nothin in here thaat resembles what u might think is real as u tell me u want an honest chance... i can't go back as i told u time will play out as we're still standin somewhere laughin at the past knowin we jus can't be... hell, we jus might have that one thing as friends we neva had the chance to do n that's that dance...

a new ticks beginnings...

words find a different emotion lurking on the ongoing feel of needing relations to be done... rounding around the clock for more days to come not worth the time that ticks as my own heart is still on the run.. at the ends of drip all dried out the linger still holds on as if it needs more of my life... as the walk that turned into a movement has a new direction wanting to be freed from attachment that let go of the hype... shit jus ain't the same as i'm trying to void a contract that once had my best intentions that went down a more self centered way to live... there's jus nothing else to possibly give... the threads hold only a worn out pattern unworn n awaiting its moment to reside in a past sense of thrown the fuck away... luv here isn't what was said to be as the roll over found new faces peeking in to a place they could never reach for i contained the relentless pain... yet the feeling has come to pass for a new kinda will to come to the surface to be put to use... well rested n full of what is seeked is thy sighs crawling their way out for something new... it's been far too long since i've held passion placed in my hands that wanted nothing but for me to live n let live... from fingertips that flow with the shape of a pretty face to the grip of the curves she brings to my very own lips... as the unknown version of self has been hidden with extreme caution... stopping along the way for only the few of a small percentage of others that has gotten behind the wall as eyes sunk beneath the shell as i slowly paused... finding the same ol nonsense on the front burner burning another hole in my own fuckin heart... as i think if i were to explain how my life's been. how would it start.?. do i go back to where the top blew whole or a lil further where nothing seemed to faze me.?. bcuz for some strange reason i got lost in a lonely dream... confused on the feelings lent to on;y three that's ever rested within my the happiness i held so close... in a short amount of time 7 yrs felt like an eternity to get here jus to rid myself of the goofiness applied to the emptiness of a single rose... a meaningless symbolism meant to spark the excitement luv fell away as i'm waiting to see who's up for the long haul... as i sit here today with one more eek put on the shelf before i can free my intent to whom i choose to share my minds inner walls... listening to the ticking of the clocks tick tock as it will never stop spinning its way around my thoughts... as one day soon imma open up n blow a mind worth the expression  once i put to rest this legal matter flipped n tossed... laid to its rightful place far behind where it is i find my gain instead of a short lived dream... living for once without having to attempt to forget the memories made that simply can not jus leave me be... i talk without words that can only relate to correct depths infected by the acceptance that failed a friend... p.s. the end...

a touch of sadness...

hidden secret shortly lived... exposed is the beginnin of the end losin the fun fallin away from the ribs... somethin so good gone with the usage of neglect... as there is no goin back to a past moment to reflect... what's done is gone n there's nothin anything can change as minds wrapped around the warped behavior... as every time the intake went in bombs dropped as if actions wanted me to hate her... n as it eased its way in unseen by the eyes blinded by her sneaky ways... a friend turned unnoticeable to the nakedness once shared as interest evaded truths goin on n on around the winds change tryin to behave... it's hard to witness let alone visualize the process of the separation that lead to the point of no return... yet i was there n fell from her fingertips as she let go of even my worth... hurtin each n every time she went under the usage of runnin from the pain... swallowin what was to come as we parted i fought from a distance when i was allowed to care for what used to be as one in the same... i held my end as long as i could as she ran off to a lifestyle fallin further than i could attempt to reach... but was on the other end of every text call n message sent to me as i came to show her all shed havta do is stop the madness that makes her a leach... she fell in luv with a different way of life n through time she jus didn't come back as who it is i know no other took the time to find within her true self... i was the enemy  as she explained why she pushed me away into the feel of hopelessness as from a far doin what she could to help... she forced me to hate her as i could neva do... knowin this she kept goin as she claimed to be a friend runnin back to that life as she spun away from me for i knew it was time to be through... she refused to find the strength it would take n washed her hands of me givin what i could do to get her back on her feet... she was the one to lose of all others bcuz if it wasn't for the drugs no other female would eva have a chance at relations with me... i tore myself away once we decided to end the fiasco as we've known it was over a few yrs past due... n quietly i feel a touch of sadness still due to the life we couldv'e had madly in luv for we were to be envied as we were the truth... that click that's so fuckin hard to find in this world that was ripped from our hearts bcuz she dipped in n couldn't find her way back as she got lost in the ripples of her own heart deep in between the creases of the evenin dimness n mornin rise... n until now i hid from this world as i couldn't move on til i knew without a doubt my best friend was unwillin to come back around n live in my presence as she still hides...

She ain't for the right thing...

Lookin into her eyes is equivalent to peepin down the hole of a double barrel... Knowin her fingers on the trigger n in control of the mind ur about to lose... It's not that ur afraid but u do fear the passions recoil... It's jus the same of not bein able to get enough goin back for more n again not to be the one they choose... The sweepin of relations pretend to have her off the ground rather than keepin it real as in what's lost can neva be found... As it's the mind under attack by emotions on the rise in presentation as a clown... She ain't for the long haulin chasin after her own selfish proceeds... For we all have our own twists hidden within our needs... To catch her eye u gotta have somethin she wants more than what the next can give at the time of contact for she changes direction as if the breeze is lookin for somethin else to blow over... As she tells u she jus wants u to hold her... Wakin up after time has realize the waste in fake smiles has replaced the feel of the beat of her own feet hittin the earth runnin... All she's eva done for all she knows n will eva be doin is huntin... Seekin those who can't seem to witness in the way she comes... Watchin the spinnin of her legs eventually on the run...

Of all, who.?.

To write about who... Who is it that gets to share my own worth as creativity comes from their mouth.?. As the finer details pinpoint accuracy... Who wants to truly know relations isn't a bout... It's not about ownership... So who's to join me in the middle of my story comin out to play... Who's to be remembered as the luv is meant to last.?. I don't know who's gonna join in with those sneaky lil pet names... Of all, who.?. How will the contribute.?. Will their time be on the other side of emotion where sensibility jus doesn't exist.?. N, how will my name sound as it passes through their lips.?. I'm curious but not in luv with the fact that the rush is all there is... So who's it gonna be to add to this written legacy.?.

The joke...

It's not jus u I'm watching but who it is tucked behind ur back... Not that I'm looking through u but more less who is it that's attached... What strings dangle from ur fingers as u chuckle with life.?. The master of puppets with a single twitch hidin the faces with the reasons of why... Who is it u let in that u pretend doesn't exist.?. U could neva see me n I won't allow u to add me to ur list... Findin my name in the mix of the filth flung from ur tongue jus isn't my thing... The last thing u need is some good dingaling... Who is it ur supposed to be.?. In what fantasy to I need to dream to join the madness u possess.?  Walkin around claimin what others give away til they leak with the lack of interest... Purposely bein all about self as lusts is the substitute forced into their chests... False intensions relate to shallow minds believin in the gullible to win... U truly ain't shit actin like u have somethin worth a fuck to enjoy past a few months in... U prey on the weak as they feed on to it useless facts of where u stand in life... Ur all about the fuckin hype...

Jus a note...

Where I am is where I'm home... The scenery changes as I too am known... Coulda done without some dumb shit yet, I luv the fact people can be themselves... As one companion is in the direction of the waltz damn near dancing to be felt... Catchin vibes n ridin em til the end is truly unavoidable... In luv with life, willin n with a version of norm of able... In my mental aspect of who I am as of yet I am my own best friend... So yeah, I win...

don't, jus don't...

there ain't no prob with goin back to where i come from if my freedom is cut short on some where u goin bs... like i'm supposed to find the crack of ya azz n live there as if i'm not allowed to continue livin my life bcuz ur issues exist... to the left if that's the angle of insecurities u have awaitin my turn on ya miracle go round... ain't shit magical about that nonsense but me foldin up n walkin in the return of im better off without hearin ur mouth... been there n ur too late to wanna play mommy with me... there's no fuckin way i can relate to the silliness of the childishness i won't even get to me any longer... stranger danger ya fuckin mongrel... i don't need ur kind lurkin in my shadows like i need a witness protection program for my own heart... that type of shit is uncalled for as if u don't know any better playin ignorant to the fact that i ain't who in the fuck you've been with so chizzle that unpleasant char... don't, jus don't... n i won't... 

not ur average joe...

i sent this pic to this one chick n through the phone n i could here her lick her lips... the reply was priceless as she said, if that's u, why are u going to waste.?. words heard the silent chatter as the text came through something like, i'll take care of that dick for u... fucking technology made it easier for me a lil over ten yrs ago once the dog was s already a hooch burying the bone... not taking a fucking one of them home... shit got intense as war stories sit under thy tongue in true form simply not givign a fuck... yet back to the point is me tapping what she ramble from ur intuition next... she claimed to be the bitch i'v missed out on as i chuckled on from the sidewalls of my chest... a lil phone call n i heard her tone fall completely in luv... as she wasn't someone i had jus met as the feel of words didn't live up to the expectations digging in all lil to deep for her exaggerations to speak the way she did to me... i knew it on the touch... the way she sighed when her eyes closed told me i could do whatever i wanted to do... so i played her for a fool... drool over me n it was like giving candy to a baby... coming apart at the seems as the arousal got her what she wanted n i prolly still live in her kiss... i wasn't even on it as the act of having game was not to have it... it was straight to the point once she understood i couldn't be tamed...n the filth the was tasted fresh from her lips had her talking in tongues as i claimed my fame... on another level of come at me with some real shit n i got u as long as u ain't going under the hypnosis of luv's selfishness... she said she had needs with no strings as the only attachment was the way our anatomy felt the pleasure of a moment of happiness... i broke her n as far as i know she don't eva wanna see me again... yet, lil does she know since then i've become one hell of a man... i once had a different mindset as females do not know the extent i went through to perfect a skill without trying that had em coming back for strike three... money even exchanged hands as i was living in there fantasies... paid on arrival to keep going til they couldn't take no more... i was the definition of a male whore with out even trying bcuz i could care less than to chase some pussy when money meant more to me than an open door... a hound who was willing to play yet, limitations were they could neva get in to my head let alone my heart... back then i thought of it as a work of art...

i ain't talkin...

i ain't talkin with a sliver of the tongue rollin around with the thought of how it is u feel upon my own taste buds jumpin at ur feet... i'm a lil more in to the way u move as u carry yourself past the attempts of so called men comin at u with loose lips tryin to sweep u into the fantasies of fake n over rated dreams... it's in the way u stand when ur attraction sets sights on u for how u respond digs into my own thoughts... i jus wanna witness the decisions from over here as my interest truly teeters on the form of exposure of who u give in to as time seems to pause... u see, i know what it is i need to take a gander at as it's the company u keep closer than ur own relatives wonderin when will u eva learn... do what it is u do as i give a lil attention to how u act out with life's curves twistin hands upon ur hips claimin who's touchin u is the equivalent of worth... i'll be posted up takin notes in the sea of those that appear to be jus like me wantin a go at a turn with u goin all the way the fuck in... jus behind the front lines with a peek atchu i'm a lil more patient to watch how quickly u notion the ok to the oh hell naw on what it is ur lookin for to step up n give a lil somethin from within... if i gotta keep it movin it's prolly bcuz u jus let anyone in to the goods n i ain't talkin about what's down in the moisture of ur precious lil toy u tend to give away... i'm jus waitin on time to come at me like, yo, this one has a lil wau about her that isn't a fuckin around with jus anyone due to she understands what it means in the exchangin of names... as materials aren't a desire to fill the hearts drought of the thrill seeked for personal pleasure of not bein able to get enough... i don't mean to hide myself, i jus don't wanna get started on somethin that ain't got no time to make happen due to there's no eye to meet the eyes of the beholder of luv... knowin there's no need in the rush of emotions unless truths get the okay to go ahead with what's been found prior to fallin into the neva of the return... hear me out n find reason in the way u relate for i can't afford yet an other self righteous woman too bitter for her own good as i drift back shakin off a new lesson to learn... i ain't talkin tone into our ear tryin to be sweeter than anything you've eva know bcuz i myself want a somethin a lil more real... n all i wanna do is appreciate the hand to feels me livin the way my own fingertips sink beneath the skin of a luv'r well past healed... i could be jus another passerby or that comfort as what is to be depends on ur very own choice to be who it is u are n what u allow... til then, i refuse to open my mouth...

our getaway...

we could have a secret place where the rest of this world surrounds us in our own lil space... bein that's where we'd lay our heads  away from all the games we've been tryin to escape... what do u say if we stood in the center of everything we've ever known n jus came to some explicit terms... on some other level shit where we can sit still on a rendezvous back to the comfort to our nest after goin out to get a take to maintain... it's all in the way u wanna settle in to home finally havin a meanin that won't eve go astray... as we move in between others attemptin to infiltrate our cozy lil spot shared in our moment to accept someone more than willin to be attracted to luv... where peaches n berries find a tender touch layin next to the rest of life holdin on to the deepest feel with a guaranteed trust... wakin to a bake in our getaway jus doin that livin thing side by side as loose as we know how to be... reside n find time ain't gotta be waitin on any longer of when's it gonna be our turn to collapse with the answers given purpose to our dreams...

trapped in the writings...

it's now or never... n i have a broken lever... last chance to get it in... all roads have lead to here thinkin of where i've been... i can't wait no longer... yappin a mims mute here on blogger... times a wastin n i'm ready to get back at life... i wanna live again outside of mind... try on a new size of luv that suites me better... a lil more mature as i tap about her... holdin nothin back jus to see the way she reacts to me... comin from her very own dreams... walkin silhouettes into the light of life has a guide... jus as free as yesterday came n went so emotion can be redefined... i gotta get this goin so life doesn't feel like it has died... too much times has gotten behind my eyes... my mind doesn't wanna continue they way things have gone... i can't go wrong... even i'm different now... as these words speak without sound... i gotta break away from the lonely nights claimin what i have to give... i wanna live... mix things up n n find someone more with it to share my life... a witness goin both ways as stares find that chuckle to the find... as the pillow talk wraps around the feel of the touch holdin on... n i know what direction in which i know i'm goin... i wanna see my best friend wake up n stumble in the cold to go pee... run n jump back beneath the covers n put the chill on me... jus gettin it in the way luv jus simply lives with the harmony of the vibe... fallin in to never return awakening everyday with her by my side... as my depths need pulled from these words that hold me back... spreadin my own life here as i have no reason to be affected by my past... walkin into the retrun of reality as i touch base with the way fingers have missed what they've never felt... somethin real willin to pass the remainin time we have here with a lil bit of fuckin help... as the moment is closin in... i to lean to the movement comin to roll with passions fantasies havin a use... with this solitaire feel i am done n callin a truce... trust is my guard fallin without the pressure of openin up... as clingin to her is a damn well must...

the rotation of change...

after the luv that came something strange ran outta time...
kinda like the way luv fell short of a lifetime... 
the pain stretched as far as it could til the feel faded from the need to get back up...
brushing off the old to replacing it with a different kinda rush... 
one where self came into play n emotion took it's rightful place...
sitting shotgun to the mentality life takes to enjoy saying someone's name...
separating passion in to two halves n leaving them smeared n smushed...
on the backside coming back around the mind corrected the train of thought feeling good... 
knowing there's only one life n time's a wasting as the guard fell so the feeling of being alive could relax...
n not a moment to late for every second counts to go through the motions that never move to fast... 
once the depths filled back up with the presentation to show the mirror it was gonna be okay...
worth awakened on the down slide of losing a friend that returned to life before the hate... 
remembering there were better times prior to the chaos no longer stuck in a daze...
getting past the fingers pointing placing blames...
dragged out to be exact is the rotation of change in what makes wisdom cling to the well bein of trust...
unbroken within knowing there's an honest chance to enjoy what there is to be, to lay flush...

it's here if you're willing...

slow your roll n give time a moment to find a few words n put your heart into it n smile going with the flow of a word like, like... it won't take that long to see if what comes up is the same lil ol things that's on your own mind.. n i ain't got nowhere to be other than taking the option to balance the thoughts that come out to play with you in the now where we stand... how deep of a piece will it take to get you figure which direction you wanna be going once we've had the chance to relate to a new twist redefining our comprehensions of a woman n a man... we're here n there's plenty to find out if you're willing to get real enough to see for yourself that i'm just me... coming in the same way you are before we pass up on a few seconds to pause n go with the curiousity... i 'ant got a thing i need to being doing as i to will be sitting alone come here in a lil bit... ease up n just move your tongue to feel the way you twirl a conversation set loose upon the rim of your lips... we all want someone to pass a few tears that fall either way as the find comfort in arms holding on for dear life... all i'm trying to get to is where are you off to as your legs spin from up n under you running with the hype... have a seat n talk to me just wanting to witness you coming from within to trust in me as that one person you've longed to get to know in the back of your mind... i haven't been doing shit but watching days turn into night waiting on someone like you to come along n light a fire for the closing of questions having the answers in which put me right by your side... that is if you have it in you to attempt to live the way you to say you wanna with a friend you can do any n everything with... flick your flame n see me awaiting you in the dark as the morning sighs with the movement of rolling in to me reaching for you each n every awakening we rise with luv felt with tender kisses...

The bond...

It's how that first kiss lands on ur lips every mutha fuckin time... As their smell touches a nerve that lasts well past a lifetime... From the touch of their skin that drives u up the fuckin wall... To how they need the want of u with every one of ur flaws... There's nothing equivalent to the bond they bring... Knowin luv does not live within material rings... It's how they collide with ur composure that gives life to ur eyes... Walking anywhere as best friends as their in no fuckin chance to speak a lie... In the way the correct the selfish mind from a single way of living... It's how the deliver themselves to the things u craved to be given... Never to say no for it's not in the agenda to deprive u from what it is u want... Instead, they help find a way so u know that u are luv'd... By the feel of them close that applies truth to ur tone... There's no comparison to the one that comes along n tells u to come home...

I'll wait for the sex.

Is there a way to talk about anything but sex? I know we're going without being single n all but I'd like to know how far lips can stretch. Shaping a convo worth the time of having someone to chat with. We can come around to digging in to pants as vulgar tones whip the mood into form with the flexing of a kiss. Once we concur the leveling of true wits. I jus wanna witness who this is. Thing is, who is it before me. I'd like to see u in true form so I can piece together a strategy. One in which comes from within the moments jus after we fuck n cum n get to taking care of the drought that's affected our state of mind. Where in the fuck are u at mentally in life? Jus to throw it out there, so I know I ain't wasting my time. Before we let our emotions fly. I'm all I have to watch my back until my other half appears from outta nowhere. As in our eyes we're the perfect pair. Can u reason to relations in which we carry with interest looking like animals going in? It's okay to speak on what it is your looking for in a friend. I luv sex as much as I luv to like someone who isn't afraid to live n let live. Are u able to open up n speak words more than meant from the movement of your jibs? Lemme hear u chatter for a while as I listen to how u ramble on. Reaching for me without the physical contact so I know without a doubt in which way your going. My interest in u depends on who u truly are. I gotta know u prior to your attempt to steal my heart.