I am even though i ain't shit...

I ain't a tough guy n I'm far from soft... I may clean up good even though I'm jus another loss... I can't be what another can but i am all me... I jus might not fit u even though in u I'd touch everything nerve ending... I'm jus not what ur lookin for as I'm not like everyone else... I wish i was but after a while u won't wanna be felt... I'm nothing more than a moment as I'll eventually pass through... I might seem confident but I'm nothing much... I'm deep even though i appear to live on the surface... I'm jus not a typeone autos crave bcuz i hide in truths of musts... I'm no prize even though i could only hope to be... I'm jus a pause in time wishing i was a lil more than me...  I believe others are more desirable even when i have what it takes... I'm in disbelief as others tell me i affect their heart rate... I don't get it even though I'm fully aware... I'm jus here jus wanting to elsewhere... I express true depths but cannot allow another to get in... I'm a side show who wants to live... I find it hard to fit in even though i can relate... I'm jus drifting within n yet in constant connection with how i make me feel safe... I'd like to be this dream but I'm no one to cross the mind... I'm a waste as my past is proof there better if i could jus hey to fugue out how to envoy a lil of fuckin life... I hate existing even though i luv to be alive... I love being in the shadows even though i am deprived... I'm no one to crave even if the sec is great... I look happy but yet I'm at a loss when prone say my name... I jus don't understand why interst when it will fade away... I think someone else is more suitable even though you'd enjoy listening to me say ur name... I'm no good as i hear I'm rare... I've loser me somewhere n i found something i cannot seem to share... I don't want to bother u even though I'd like to be considered to enter ur heart... I'm jus not so sure when everything about me likes ur charm... I don't know anything n yet maybe i do... I'm jus right but I'm jus not the one for u...

Sploosh...

She leaps into the plunge... Fearless n ready to be luv'd... With a smile that can tame a beasts heart... Done with how she sits alone in the dark... She's goin swimming without the dead memories... Hoping to luv someone so endlessly... So she dives feet first... Wanting to touch depths worth... To walk at the bottom where air doesn't exist... Jus to surround herself with what moves with her hips... Down she goes... Needing to surface into a different reality where she's no longer alone... On step n the descend is on... With a mindset of do not return seeking a better norm... She jumps with ten toes down n arms up in the air... Without a care she accepts life's lil dare... Creating a fall of a lifetime to accepted as someone real... As the splash is refreshing to the feel... Taking a chance there's no undertow in to the deep... For all she truly desires is not to think... To be wrapped up in joy loosened to a snug... Feeling upon the skin the moisture of luv... As she removes memories of every relationship she's every known... Ripples are like vibes pulsating with life's very own grope... Reaching for the edges where limits lay on shores to witness horizons soothe... N one step is all it'll ever take to take a dip in a common use... Unafraid of the pain for it itself is a part of the thrill... Bcuz she knows deep down even happy tears spill... She lives to luv... She is the definition of trust... Allowing herself to alter the reality in which she resides... She believes in the hype... With an understanding of what it takes to become in transformation of best friends... N she will forever be a woman with no end...

View points...

Comin at it from a different approach... Through another's eyes filled with hope... Self reflects in stares exposed to the naked eye... As wonder creates fear in control of the mind... From their angle sights are met with opened arms... Yet when close emotions hide in the heart.. Causing friction they do not deserve... But how can inner makings give when one doesn't know their own worth.?. The struggle to comply is as real as it gets... A sense of lost has taken over the chest... Unable to feel what others are so willingly to do... Seeing the good goin to waste within u know who... Met at expressions jus to retract statements so people Aren't led on... Thenagain at times that's a lil too late becoming another's norm... As rejection settles into their face... Hearing the let down change tones in the way they sound out names... It's madness that shuns out good individuals for no reason at all... Left to sit alone once again as life can't get over the wall... Even with a consideration that triggers a smile... Self hasn't been honest for far too long... I'm the turning away of others ones durian the truth in a moment to pause... To cater to desires wanting to live... To feel a truce leap from another's lips... All with a notion tgat acceptance with come with ease... Though if that were the case maybe self could truly breathe... No longer drifting in day dreams of what it's like to open up... From their standpoint i can relate to the frustration when caressing luv... As the find in isn't so easy to do... As all i ever do is watch them cut me loose...

Trapped within...

On the drift one gets lost... Spending countless hrs alone trying to correct flaws... Hoping to find a balance between the had n the heart... So one doesn't havta swallow words when curiosities set off alarms... In the middle of life one examines self... Wanting to be resurrected n eventually be felt... Though time behind the eyes find comfort in the shadows buried in the nights... Unable to hear broken promises made that surface as lies... Lingering is one falling into the silence... Holding on to memories that never turn out to be timeless... Thoughts forget of the feel good when letting go... Losing self in the process of setting down figurative thrones... One rides solo on life's back digging out the pain... Jus to awaken as a stranger in reflections that chase ones face... Growing older than comfort is willing to accept... The transformation changes presence as well as depths... In the redefining moments locked away one's mind is absent on how to live... In disbelief when it comes to what self has to give... Fading like confidence fear settles in to the chest... Restricting emotion from ever believing self is anything moor than nonetheless... From shattered to scared to healed n afraid... Days are chaperones to the mind fighting a use to to be claimed... When the solitude eases the peace within... One tends to settle in to a basic kinda grin... Wanting to reach out n touch someone with luv... To land in a sacred place that has no means to rush... One can only get so close... Jus to shy away n be alone... Roaming as if the battle within has forgotten its way home... One jus needs a real reason to loosen up n go with the flow... Knowing there's so much good goin to waste... Trappes within jus seems to be the safeat place...

We belong...

Just touch me n lemme know you're there... Willingly reach for me so i know u care... Giving hope to having a friend that week never leave... Feel me rest come mornings light for it's you i need... Place your hands upon my skin find your way to my heart... Follow the beat in sync through a pulse attached to your charm... Find me worthy in a moment behest your fingertips... N taste a bit of real luv expressed from my lips... Sighing to the stroke a being caressed... For it is you felt in depths i havta admit... With a twitch that tickles loosening me up... I move to your motions as we lay flush... Playing with my outline so your eyes aren't the onmy thing to learn of me... Upon the surface press your hand on my chest... I pulsate differently when it's you emotion invests... With one finger at a time you sink in to who i am... Touching every inch of my skin as fingerprints land... Flowing to heal the pieces of me no one else can have... You open me with a singke graze n i just want it to last... You're a rare ease that tingles in desires to say the least... So if you would stay, please...

don't speak...

ssh... let's not tell anyone of the flavor that touches taste buds... jus hush n go with the flow... reach with the tongue n enjoy the touch... move... rotate ur hips n dig in to the motions coming to life... desire wants what it wants... trust is in the makings of moans awakening to dirty lil binds... on the other side of typical where tasty strokes drive the crave... delicious n easy on the eyes... no one needs to know what it is we do...  bared to the nakedness of touch groped by the thrill of night...felt by passions need to please every nerve exploding simultaneously... down on knees in tune with the sensation of moans loosening up... feeling for self the interest to give n receive a lil extra at will... don't talk unless flirtations find filth on the perverted side of opening the gates to the rush... piecing an evening together where bustin is a facial in the works... bite ur lip n sigh with the vibe creating a hormonal satisfaction that jus won't rest... grinding to the way we as us dive into a relentless submission to be used... talk to me through gasps that send a serge straight to my chest...

The silence's end...

Maybe it's in the way a touch could heal the pieces of me that's afraid to feel... With fingertips rescuing me from the outside jus wanting me to surface for a moment that's all too real... It's like I've never felt truth supply an antidote that soothes more than my skin... As I'm trapped within myself when all i ever wanna do is live... It could possibly be i fear myself slowly giving in to the silence's end... Able to reason with what i cannot control n accept the possibility of a friend... There's nothing broken behind the eyes where use trembles not knowing who's who... Thoughts jus assemble a false state of comfort so self is safe from the heart cut loose... Free to express a truce without the tension that struggles in the deepest pits covered by hope... Or it might be I'm jus too far gone on the other side to realize I'm a way waste when dying alone... Stroked is the nerve that secretly awaits a sensation opened up by a simple graze... Flowing in sync with the details buried that want to be resurrected for another to embrace what truly needs to be saved... So a memory doesn't havta live in solitude creating imaginary twists pretending to be ok... To be restored to a different kinda normal with a physical connection that triggers depths to reemergence from a hole i cannot seem to escape...  Ambitious is the emotion simmering to witness a face changing through the yrs... Never to leave no matey the weight of tears... Perhaps a distinctive voice carries a tone to awaken a lost passion my mind refuses to fetch... Digging in without scaring off the remains of what's left... The willing fragments resting in restless patience to finally be used... There's another world under the metaphorical armor that has a desire to move... In a leisure state of harmless flirtations interest comes n goes... As wants confronts needs demanding a chance to prove self has grown... It's a stranger craved to cure self of the damage self is petrified of... To bate all to a like of some sort to evolve into luv...

True intent...

How would u feel if i told u i lost hope n i havta go.?. I Georgethat's the answer we seek so we don't feel lost n so alone... As it's a friend to cling to that digs into the mind... Hellng life rotate through days that land in the middle of nights... So who would laugh first of today was the last time i ever kissed ur lips.?   To behind strangers again as i keep on getting on looking for a lifestyle that fits... Will ur face relieve itself of having to feel anything for me.?. Or will my words in their own devastate the well being of ur heart as leave.?. Questions have honest replies if tongue can speak as freely as a bird whistling to its true luv... Tell it like it is a of it we're u deciding what kinda reality u need to be able to trust... Though is rather witness u soiree me be jus being who u are... We're either someone w cannot love without or another face in the crowd that somehow had a chance to turn away n choose to depart... There is no indecisive thought of knowing real comfort exists... So if i were to walk back into thus world without u, would i truly be missed.?.

On the darker side...

I wonder when would or be a good time to never wake up... Anymore i don't feel any type of real luv... All that's known is being alone in a self absorbed world... As the thought lingers of why is it i need to continue to hurt... It wiukd be much easier to be gone... I'd only be an every so often memory lost... For in alive now n very few act like i even exist... N my curiosity plays with relieving them from the eventual twist... Jus poof, done n invert auth the shit show i face... Maybe in due time everyone will forget my name... The same way it feels sitting here tonight... I'm no mite than a chuckle absent from life... Maybe i wish it would all jys fuckin end... Bring a lil piece my way that isn't so lonely hence hence... It ain't like my dreams aren't as dead as the darkness i can't remember anyways... Only having to be abke recall 2 reoccurring scenes in my head tgat won't seen to ever fade... Down i go 6 feet within to imagine how solitude really feels... N it's allot live my reality when my eyes are open n tgat shit is real... It's pointless to keep on auth an emptiness lingering in depths... As forever is inevitable when there's nothing left... On the darker side of hope dwells an unforgettable plot... N it catches me periodically off guard n i dehydrator need it to stop... To live or die with a death wise is no good to come... But when days upon yrs have wound me up here it jusain't no kinda fun... So i continplate on situations if i had my way to rest... N the one thing that i think of is how i luv the way my oulse beats in my chest...

Loosen up...

I don't wanna talk about emotions n allow the silliness to cloud my mine... I jus wanna kick it live we're bat friends n enjoy lil life... Doin whatever comes without limits on juts getting along... I juts wanna feel like i fuckin belong... No bs n no games as the moment spent finds a laugh... I don't like fairytales that only feed force fed dreams of perfections that always winds up in an unfortunate past... Jus be n don't attempt to pretend to present yourself to what u think of like... Real is an attraction words could never describe as a delightful type... Breathe for once n exhale to be seen in true form... Restraints. Aren't necessary when time still eventually tell on self as the mask from the face is torn... I don't need a rush but a slow ease that awakens a comfort of jus having u around... Someone who understands that majority has a playful side that wants to come out... Free is the intent that moves at will to soothe a mindset that never hasta question a use... N I haven't it in me to submit to gender roll playing that transforms into a lazy awkwardness as a conversation is duped... Jus smile of it feels what eyes have landed upon... I ain't for everyone...

Secrets hushed...

I truly try to be discrete but there's something in the way u move that drives me insane..  As my tongue awakens jus to whisper ur name... Wanting to know the flavor of how u loan up... Yay, is luv to hear u moan as i play n touch... So excuse my intentions of they was live... The attraction is unreal n cannot censor howyou'd feel upon my lips... With every kiss roaming in places sensitivities come to life... There's jus no way to get u off my mind..  As my silence breaks hoping to envoy the thoughts that run through my head... Giving u scrubbing i have until there's Judd nothing left... I'd tinker n tease with a lick that would bend ur toes...  Open u up n prove how deep i wanna go... So pleas know how hatd u make it keeping to myself... N how you'd be a meal more than felt... As u trigger every desire stretched to hormones craving only u... Only if u knew...

Are u free to be.?.

I don't wanna push the limits if u ain't ready. To be freed... Atrempting to dig in wouldn't be something that should be free... So i ask, how us it that u truly feel alive.?. Rambling over what goes through ur head as u love ur life... Bcuz there's no fuckin way i could possibly entertain u long enough if ur shackles haven't been removed... As I'd jus like to know woke it be worth s moment for us to get loose... Legitimately speaking i hear words talk with tones depicting what it is u want... Though are u seriously looking for a friend or jus chasing anything that resembles luv.?. Fur there's no point in clsim hope holding on to the answer if it's a short term pause... N I'm one to put blame on u like the end will be ur fault... I have curiosities that linger in the balance of who in the fuck we could be..  Though that relies on if u refuse in ur dreams here with me on reality..  Open n willing to experience every lil detail that connects through note than touch... So If u haven't figured u out jus step to the side with visions of lust...

Either or...

Tell me the difference between days n nights... When whenever we're awake is when we're alive... Whether we live in the dark or rise in the light... Dreams are chased in the basics of the mind... Help me understand how either differ when hope lives on... In moments alone or shuffling emotions one cannot ignore... When opening n closing the swinging of the hearts doors... As desires run deep n for some reason they're always wanting more... Explain to me at what time passion decides to open up... In the middle of what second determines trust.?. When friends give in to the evolution of luv... Laying as still as the earth ever so flush... Changing shapes upon faces that loosen to fingertips in a slow feather like stroke... Free is comfort as intentions roam... So with an honesty tongue speak with tender tones... N say what it is that seperates either or from a chance to to know...

Different streets...

I could follow u down a one way street for 8 lifetimes n you'd never turn around... Yet if u ever did you'd see I held all the pieces gathered that u dropped along the way as if u never needed to be found... It's jus how I feel as life goes on into the unknown away from resurrecting ur heart for it could use a heal... So I laid u at my feet n walked away from a luv that caused so much pain when we were supposed to be real...  Friends for life with no doubts faded the day I realized uIwere cheating yourself outta my own wants n needs... U failed to mention u were in it for ur own personal gain that never included me...  As everything u ever was is somewhere in between us but ur gonna havta get by on ur own... Jus don't come any closer to me the day u come full circle to drop step on a pivot n spin once u somehow get tired of feeling alone... I'll be holding on to my worth looking into someone else's eyes that actual stare back... As a two way street leads to a more comforting mindset to allow luv to enjoy the way smiles last... Though it ain't me but u I'm looking at from my angle moving on jus like everyone else... I guess I'm jus not ready to be felt...

...

We get into our evolutions ever so often when we are alone... Us men, have depths that surface in which makes the mind wonder of home... Hidden behind the front is a solid officia individual with cracks to let jus enough light in... N the real ones, we wait patiently tip live in a different sense that shape shifts chuckles flowon through grins... We feel... We jus don't care to share what makes us who we are due to females can't be trusted with our hearts... The whole flipping off art the gums n turning us inwards against ourselves jus ain't something that tares us apart... So we sit auth the silence that calms the nerve... Soon nothing but watching life pass bu tryin to figure out each day without saying a word... As the thought coolness to mind of how it is we're happier riding solo jus bcuz no ones actually stepped to the plate... N if they have things jus didn't line up help a lifetime excised upon the face... We exist, we jus ain't for the fuck shit of catering to a woman's ego that eventually belittles us all... The good ones rest easy with the peace divided within... Teetering on echo would compliment the details a friend that doesn't drift from the reason tickling the ribs... The truth in a man is in the way we ain't afraid to find peace in the solitude created by too many round abouts... Knowing we have a deeper purpose goon to waste that jus refuses to come out... N it ain't no fun being a hoe when the time consumed is all for a quick thrill... Though needs wanna be met even when hearing females tongues that have no chill... Always worried about every other one they think we're feelin on... A real mo fo can see these type ain't for the right thing so ores easy to be thought of as a whore... Jealous curiosity helps us decipher who's who... N we appreciate the insight as we enjoy cutting a type loose... With no fucks given for we dodge careless immaturities that have insecurities lingering... We don't mind doing a lil fingering...

I can feel u...

Right under the skin u go... Crawling on my nerves n feelin right at home... Yeah i can feel u beneath the level of touch... Sinking into my norm as ur searching for luv... Yet it's a lil to the left... That sweet spot u seek to be felt... As u shift to reposition n reach for my heart... Caressing its texture n leaving ur mark... I can feel u as u define sighs instead of words... Opening me up to a reason to allow a new worth... All by soothing will with a comfort held in ur hands... Down into my depths where ur smile digs to land... Deep in my thoughts as the answer rests my mind... I can feel u gather what it is i hide... Pulling me from within to surface back to life... All with an ease as u stroke emotions wanting to play... Though when u do the unthinkable n whisper my name... It's a sound so silent i hear peace settle within... Listening to how fingertips flow to create a grin... I can feel u enjoy yourself wondering around in places not jus anyone is allowed to go... As the vibes of ur chuckles ricochet off my ribs... Lingering with me through desires accepting u as a lifetime...

Regaining the tingle...

When the one thing self wanted the most fades from the heart... The mind has convinced it that memories can never did it any harm... Empty trends to wanna fill itself wich a new way of life... Allowing what was to become a stepping stone for a true reason of why... Having meaning in detritus ti live past the linger of hope... Redefining a better sense of worth lookin for home... The loosening of emotions must develope a fresh feel... To live n regain the passion seeking the real deal... As being hung up rests in outta final place as few as a bird... All due to self matters than the wait that will never speak on old flames heard... The move is towards a deeper desire lost somewhere needing to be found... With a crave that transforms helpless into comfort by simply stepponh into wow.!. Coming from the chest as thoughts have had their moments to create a new version ready to play... When silhouettes are willing to take on a more unique kinda face... Then to the now of shit happens jus bcuz... Developing a crush sittin a like that has every ingredient to whip up a lil thing known as luv...

War paint...

So u only want the attention to blast men... To make u fell better like ur some sorts prize... Knowing without ur vanity u truly ain't shit... As u parade on social media belittling the same mofo's you've accepted aa the truth u hide... So u wanna pretend u don't enjoy how u can manipulate a situation... Showing everyone what women are capable of... With an everybody wants me mentality which is nothing more than devastation... Trying to feed ur need to be someone in the eyes stare as u seek luv... So u like being a biggot n a hypocrite jus bcuz a few fellas flock to ur childish ways... Unable to admit ur own in the equation where boy meets girl... As it's u allowing it to progress with how many people u don't know other than jus their face... Ur shallow asf clsiming to be any different than useless in an already fucked up world... So u believe no matey the number others should stayintheir place... Yet u add friends to cater to ur need to become a social relevance... Then turn it to ur own benefit by insinuating ur the victim of a line of douchebags waiting their turn... N u do it with any regards to not all of em are bad dudes jus hoping jus maybe you'd be hesitant... Ur a joke n a fake n honestly until u correct yourself a real mofo will consider u to have no worth... So u enjoy clowning on anyone as ur likes n hearts accumulate... Creating a bubble for ur so called attractive features as ur character is shit... U absolutely thrive of males wanting to fuck u so u can embarrass their name... Having to apply makeup to hide the real u behind closed doors jus to feel a tingle in ur ribs... So u entice others for the thrill of thinking ur better somehow in ur mind... Gathering up all the messages so all the lil followers a thrown in to a catagory as we're all the same... Ur a phoney n a fraud tucked behind a face u wear as ur imagination has gotten away with tricking u into a arrogant life... Cute can be as ugly as the image in the mirror u cannot face without being dolled up to cover ur pain... As u don't like being called out on ur own twisted bs huh.?. Go figures ur jys a typical female lookin to prove all men are dogs... Gaining only those in secretions jus to be ur friend... Bcuz no one in their right mind would tolerate such silly flaws... The end...

Dance with me...

Let's go dance somewhere we have never been... Where the scenery captures the essence of ur grin... As waves wash away anything prior to us... Let's move to as if we're on show for the sun... Falling in more ways than one as we enjoy life... Fuck everyone else as it would be u n I... With feet splashing through the waters edge... Like two lil kids that broke away to be free... Together for more than a memory made... Falling the moment for a lifetime upon the face... Playing in the sunset as another day darkens to us swaying on the beach... Without a care in the world as we could finally breathe... Lasting longer than the visual that surrounds our mood... As around we would go cut the fuck loose... There'd be u n there'd be me having the time of our lives... Hand in hand frolicking as if we have no sense... So far from a perfect world's on the other sideof the fence... Down where the sand has a use for our toes to wiggle... Let's go down to the shore where our laughs can giggle... To live a dream worth the time shared... I'll go if u go, I'm not scared...

In u go...

Into my chest ur comfort is pressed... I can feel u digging in nonetheless... Trying to reach me from the outside where we mingle on life... Deeper ur face sinks wanting to be claimed as mine... To somebow be buried in my heart bypassing the alarms... As u flow through me like a vibe having charm... U ride a pulse thumping so raw... With a sigh u open up the gates of luv... Baring me to a dare to step to the rush... Oh how soothing u are to the life within not wanting to hide... Luring intent to surface for a friend is actually liked... As u are as still as hope holding on to home... It's in the way u cling to never wanting to leave me alone... Like ur search for the unknown has come to happy lil moans... Resurrecting a want that needs to breathe in peaceful tones... Beneath the texture kissed is where u believe u should live... Behind the walls of my mind that has so much to give... So u apply a sensation to a stroke on the skins as a flirtation... Triggering depths to smile as if u are passions salvation... In u go to retrieve a sacred version on me... Determined to caress me from the inside out with fingertips that ease... All by standing still with ur eyes closed enjoying the thrill... Falling for who i am as truths begin to spill... Leaking a tear that even i cannot hear... Yet i know for certain it is not i u fear... You've found trust in the way we meat in the middle held flush... As the silence speaks of a special kinda unwritten poem not quite yet spoken of... Standing on my feet as if i were a tree... All for a chance to be as one with me...

Hungry asf...

N what if i wanted to spend a lifetime of eating u out.?. Dicking u down... Hands feeling the texture of ur skin... Doin things that bring u from within.... What a visual i must say... To feel u move as i have my way... Tasting ur clit... Gripping ur thighs... Digging into ur moans... Maybe that's where i wanna reside... To bury myself deep into ur hormones coming undone... Turning sexual intentions into luv... As lusts play with ur heart until ur all mine... That to me would be a well earned life... To please u at will... Having more enjoyment in jus giving u head...  As my erection swims with the thrill... Could u accept it's u i want in my bed.?.

Ur it...

Put ur hand up as i place mine on urs... Can u feel the way fingers interlock, wanting more.?. What of the tingle that tells u no one could ever be me.?. Bcuz that's how i feel about u n the way u set me free...  N the thought of how I'd trip n fall into my broken heart if anything would ever happen to our luv.... I'd drift on memories lost in my mind as they'd be the only thing i had left of us... Ur wanted here as a use calls to ur worth... Able to settle lips of so many ways to express real emotion through words... Kiss me n feel how u create a different sense of life reaching for u... Awakened i am as i drift only back to how i give u an honest truce... Be n live n grow into who u are too become... I wanna watch u believe in me so it's me u cannot help but to luv... Bcuz that exact motion is lingering within me... Pure n natural to the I've witnessed the look in ur eyes alive n free... Ur it, now tag me back... N let's jus do what comes pass...

In the makings...

Luv doesn't have a need to beg... Yet it will at times when the mind forgets what's best... Fir the heart if the matter craves a true friend... Coming n goin with the tide until pain becomes the bitter end... Smiles need not fade if use is real... Life can be enjoyed if comprehension learns how to feel... How to utilize thoughts for the better of desires truly freed... Loosening silhouettes from the mind so a face has a change to be seen... For passion teeters with fingertips giving comfort to a place called home... Having a worth in a presence of another maintaining tones... Tuned in to how the synchronization of heartbeats find a volume sitting upon the tongue... Pulsating to a melody when bodies are flush... Curious to what tomorrow may bring once the night has witnessed the way two become one... As a cheek kissed understands kindness gives to even lusts... With a packaged deal where no one hasta ever stall in the middle of the rush... As long as real can remain a gauranteed untold promise to open up n bare self... With an honest gesture of who is wanted as a partner more than felt... Hard times need not brake a bond willing to adapt... To change with each another through yrs that go by so fast... A lifetime can be what dreams are made of... With a lil patience allowing individuality able to have a bit of fun...

Yet to be determined...

I tend to get myself into trouble when emotions peak bcuz i try to do to much...
Who am i too tell my heart not to feel the tenderness from a woman's touch.?. It's not passions fault for wanting to be free to live the way the mind never stops... To take away some of the thoughts that linger with an ache that alleyways tends to flip flop... There's things desires cannot help but to open doors for when a gentle hand soothes the flesh... Creating a natural affect that pleases a pure sensationin building in the chest... Conflicting with the monster in my head who attempts to control the situation when loosening up... Six feet deep n buried is intent without a tombstone so no one can find me slipping into luv... As the story goes, i am my own worst enemy due to those i crave ain't no good for me... So the anticipation is tge fuel of if I'll ever give in to another death tucked away in lonely dram dreams...

Corrections made...

Somewhere in my head something went seriously wrong.... N now even i feel i don't belong... As my heart no longer wants any more chaos... It's free from the tragedies of self inflicted riots.  Thoughts aren't what they were back when luv was appealing... For a friend is what time lacked to find n collaborate within feelings... N beautiful cannot be worn on a face to confuse the eyes of depths... I lost me to visual displays that haunted me in the texture beneath my chest... As hope sealed itself within wounds no one could ever see... N now i cannot remember the real me who had given up on how everyone eventually leaves... Something clicked n i felt my beliefs braek off to save what was left... To correct myself for character took a shot not knowing how too respond to the pain that was only a test... I changed into a better version of what stands before u here today... As me auth a peaceful expression displayed upon my face...

Fuck it...

It ain't shit is what the tongue twiddles with... To be a nobody as if any one person could get sit upon the lips... It becomes an infinite distance within... One where emotion doesn't vibe with the the feelin of solitude's twist... Hope ain't a thing to be found as time is ripped apart like an old gift... N grins come n go like sighs from exhaustion with nothing left to give... Coming up short losing grips on life spent hearing the jabbing of jibs... Tripping on the sidelines keeping the bench in position jus in case a presence fits... As it seems better than forcing a fix to adjust to feet always ready to skip... With a damn grunt come every morning trying to shake off another night poking at the chuckle in the ribs...

When one takes time to build others up, when falling completely apart... No one can see the emptiness in a routine when the drift is supportive to make sure others become more than self could ever be... Fuck a heart... The damned will fall to despression's claim... Giving everyone hope that life is more than a dream craved... As no one truly cares n hope that is nonexistent... Having nowhere to turn but into the darkness so evident... But that's life at the bottom of nothing reminding one of a harsh reality... Fuck me... Someone please end the screams...

I dont wanna be alone no more... Im vibin n the wonder is comin from deep beneath the whore... Ill be real... I don't wanna be jus another sexual feel... Im craving an alliance i cannot go without... Yet I failbto zone in on words releaser from mouths... Like mu heart has askrd mr to find someonne worthy of its own depth... As i linger in life waitim on a reason to open to what i can accept... I think of how my luv goin to waste... N how private moments add to the feel of how it feela tonsay another's name... Silentmy i hide... Not knowing who would be good for my state of mind... As real as put inti words... One day i could only hope to come across someone i drop down n give all to their own worth... Say what u will but im as human as anyone else... N eventually i could only hope i decide on more than a feelin felt... As i come from a place i havent been able to express... Wantin a need of a voice to confirm they aren't a victim of what's left... Yet a purpose on why I've fallen back into an us atate of mind that scares me... Damn isn't iba bitch to dream.?.  To hide behind doors knowing what truths are held within... Disconfiguring a smile kus wantin to show a true grin... As the alcohol drags out everything withheld from hope.... I don't wanna be alone but i can't trust in moans... There's a deeper will that thrives to belong... N this solo act isn't a life for a heart like mine wanting to hear how two people can get along... It sucks but help ain't a thing everyone understands... When it's the matter of comfort on levels to take a willing hand... Where is one to turn to rely on a friend.?. When life has presented a false presence that creates jus another end...

Lucid dreams...

Have u ever found yourself out in the middle of nowhere with ur heart aching to its own pulse.?. Lacking a friend to be the comfort of hope settling the difference within the design of flaws... Begging self to become more than a solo act running for a shelter that simply doesn't exist... As thoughts begin to drift of how life is mostly wasted in lonely moments making the texture of flesh ever so missed... When home is but a word lost upon the tongues flip to admit where use is not alone... Have u ever stared for hrs a seen nothing more than a phone.?. Feeling distant n irrelevant to life in the way not much matters without a luv to cling to... Knowing the mind is further from the opening in the chest as days linger into a past hanged from a noose... With a feeling of solitude self could only wish to walk away from before it's too late... Jus in want of a need to free emotion as eyes set sights on a familiar face... With a touch that ends the depths dwelling on reasons in which cripple intent... To loosen up n jus be a better version that's untamed n willing to please another as a friendship is lent... Have u ever waited long enough n still haven't come to terms of when life itself is gonna be rearrange.?. For that final situation trust can rely on by nights stillness creating an even trade... A u for i in exchange to put to rest the wonders of passions finest giving a hand... As the reflection of self is admired not by vanity but by individuality of someone who needs not speak of where tgey too stand... Have u ever longed to have the torment stopped.?. For long enough has already corrected the presentation of a mirrors image fit to grow soft... Tenderizing pieces of self to be sauteed in arms like a lucid dream coming to life... Have u ever not known the beginning to the next line.?.

U can't have me so easily...

U can't have me so easily...

There just ain't nothing to fix this way... Not saying i don't have a few flaws n all but I'm a lil more well with it than being the same ol same... Maybe what u refuse to witness i hiw a mofo is watching for the way u present yourself... Doing that typical female ba thinking i need a lil help... I ain't on the silliness of what the crowd fits into... I like tbe sound of peace tbat soothes me to move... N I'm not a big fan of how women havta have a project in a man the believe they can change... I do just fine without the nurturing for i on my own know ehat it would take to create the expressions upon my face... I'm just patient to the point of what's good for me will be... N as of yet, a difference is still locked away in my dreams... Tucked under the comfort of facts that add up to a hope chuckling with an eventual sigh... U don't havta cater to me nor constantly follow my motions through life... I got me n don't feel the lack of trust that lingers in ur heart... Over running ur mind bcuz u don't knew what to do with someone like me n that creates unknown alarms... Not my issue, not my definition of a friend... As all I'm drifting along doing is being attentive the the way emotions bend... I'm not twisted n haven't a care to be drained of my worth... I see how ur eyes get caught in the headlights of my life as stares lurk... Quietly settled on what defines me as an individual loosened up... I'm unphased by relations that are overrated due to likes never transform into a deserved luv... No I'm not swimming in depths just to drown over carelessness... I'm just hanging around doing me bcuz i found my own happiness... N it will not fade to the rush that burns out faster than a flame... It's kinda like who in the fuck do i think i am when days turn sheets down to rest without disturbing hate... Just as smooth as i can slip on through to get to the other side of who it is u say u are... At first sight is a situations on where time itself clarifies tongues that speak of the spark... U can't have me so easily... I'm not trying to go without but that one person isn't gonna be the the one who's gonna be missing me...

On standby...

People are so easy to fall in luv with multiple people back to back to back... Like they're afraid to be alone with themself as a friend within they lack... I've been there once n can't seem to come to a comfort to jus giving up the goods... I wonder but can't click with jus anyone due to my differences beyond the hook... Though i get to much alone time tends to create a rut when independence gets carried away... Yet who can be tolerated on a daily to become a familiar face.?. When the heart ain't feeling passion without a friendship where details align... Bypassing the goofy shit to get to what matters to have some sorta normal with another while living life... As so many allow emotion to take blow after blow jus so nights don't seem so long... Claiming whoever is up is it until the end transforms the content in tones gone wrong... As i have a hard time trying to figure out what peoples true intentions are... Allowing time to show truths to linger into the open like a work of art... Am i the only one to consider the possibility of lives merging needs to be considered from all angles.?. Unable to give in to laughs when there's more to life than the good times that have defining moments that dangle... Even luv'd ones n others that are a part of someone's every day routine is a packaged deal so outta reach... Knowing some people jus ain't no good for the mind seeking peace... Though the thought teeters behind the eyes as if an unrest is curious to witness what a real touch would be like... As i hide me from a world filled with strangers in n outta relations doing time... With one question haunting the silence as all i wanna do is sleep... When will i ever give in to wants over needs.?. To be able to sigh in belief that that one person fits jus right... Never perfect but triggers something i could never resist from deep beneath words that cannot be held inside...

These things i ask...

It apears you'd like to know what it's life to hold on m3... Yet hope long did u think it'll last Intel i am no longer that comfort in ur dreams.?. When the chase is over n the end places me as a memory in the back of ur mind... Will u be able to remember how it felt if we we're to touch luv's prize.?. These things iask are as real as confort forgetting week iy is i am.... Simply wanting what everyone else does hoping the tears u cannot see fall where i stand... When we become strangers once again who would i be but a has been.?. As the tenderness is no longer an. Option pressed against my lips... The things i ask that are yet to br jus ways to know if ur anyways gonna be around... Bcuz I'm tired of losing friends who get lost walking back into this world never to be found...

The wonder...

What is it i cannot have.?. To touch with more than fingertips that only begin to feel it pass... Why is it i stand in the middke of life wondering of hope.?. Drifting as if I'm forever to be alone... When with the pieces align so joy can come from within.?. To enjoy what i envy n live... How long will life go on as my worth lingers in days that has come to be gone.?. As looking in the mirror confuses the mind of where i belong... Why the wait when the heart gets no younger with yrs falling into a forgotten past.?. The infamous loner jus wants to embrace the facts... Where shall the memories go if never made to be kept.?. For trust only believes in others when nothing is left... N who is it to be that fits the details if luv was to exist.?. As lives mesh in a mingling collision of comforts to be pressed against hushed lips...

What if i...

What if i jus didn't wanna be here.?. Having very lil to no enjoyment as eyes more than often shed tears... What if i faded off n never came back.?. The silence sounds so peaceful layin as still as scab... What if i jus didn't fit in anywhere i attend.?. When being alone has more perks than so many fake grins... What if i wanted it all to end before i felt any worse.?. To remain a lost thought that has no true worth... What if i told the truth of how i didn't wanna do it anymore.?. Yet hadn't the courage to finalize my own body motionless on the floor... What if i tried to live more tomorrow than i ever have on any day prior.?. The way i do now as it does no good to be so wired... What if i jus let go n said fuck it all.?. After all no one can hear my voice bouncing off the walls... What if i pretended to be happy for jus a lil while.?. Would it make any difference if i forced a smile.?. What if i never ever woke up again.?. I wondered of the last moment since i was a child...

Dumpin...

Dumpin it all into where the heart feels it can thrive... As the end was once worth turns n takes a dive... After sinkin all that's lost is moments that was meant to last a lifetime... Soakin in luv as the water was tears of emotion turned off along with the lights... Home doesn't quite feel the same when the whispers stop... Yet the most beautiful thing is knowing all the bs eventually leaves n the mind can be unlocked... Dumpin the feel to get back to the reality if it all... As dreams patiently pause not wantin jus another loss...

Long...

I've been taking the long way home for quite some time... N every bend i turn becomes another case in which i cannot clear my mind... In a world lost jus wanting the comfort of feeling familiar i linger through life... Looking at doors as i think which one isn't locked to keep me out... As patient as the core of a tornado hidden from the chaos as i sit in the silence of sound... I'm jus taking my time to get to where my heart belongs... On my way to the unknown comfort that could never take too long...

After the act...

Do i havta leave come mornings light.?. Maybe I'd like to hear u past the moans u made last night... Possibly see u when time opens ur eyes... To become a piece for a moment in ya life... For i believe what i need only u can give to me... Needless to say jus wanna watch u come from ur dreams n face me here in reality... Once the night wears off... N the sun gives sight a shadow to the ur beauty as i pause... To lay speechless with a tongue deciphering through unused words... Come tomorrow if we were to part there's a chance i won't return... In the balance of a fling if i stayed is there any worth.?. It's like after the act is done... Am i to keep it movin so u can collect numbers until u find the one.?. I only bask bcuz u seem a lil different than what I'm used to... N it be nice not to be in a rush to havta run off n leave u...

The energy that died...

The heart should of fell in luv with someone else... One worth a the fuck... A different kind of indivudual tgat hasn't become something no longer felt... Seems the friendship was nothing more than lust... As lazy as the mine the tongue cannot help boy you twiddle on how sex was all there every was... There was something in the way fingertips absorbed the energy that died... Killing off emotions that shut down on the excitement of relations hype... Maybe the chest should of opened up to a Moore specific type... Yet, not everyone possesses what dives me to the ends of limits so devine... There's pieces of use that linger in the makings of a crave that simultaneously erupt... Though it all fades as if a different phase is to be displayed upon an other's face while laying flush... Perhaps the mind jus believed in a once upon a time ago that transformed the thought of intention that stray... Should of would of could of is the price of change... When it should of been fruits surfacing in motion with moments worth the hope... But for strange reason life took a spin on a pivot n the dizziness confused everything theater ever made sense enough to remember the feeling of home...

Ur ends...

Money for money, if u ain't matching i ain't falling in... I don't want a broke bitch always digging... N no we ain't fuckin... Huh, ain't that something... I am different.  That's some crazy shit.. As a working woman it bees best as long as the tongue isn't constantly flipping..  Always thinking she's better than the mutha fuckin living... Cash in in a life n do ur part... Or there's no chance of u ever reaching my heart... No bs... I don't do bacbbling lips... Betta have ur shit poppin like needs know the what the want... If not, empty hands will leave u all twisted up n butt hurt... Duck ya feelings if u ain't on some real shit... Like a two way street in a roundabout goin arouns n around doesn't seem to be something I'd miss... As toodles of flickering fingertips will see u off... Don't pause studder half step or think I'm aomwonw who is afraid to check out to cut a loss... Get with it or slide on over bcuz there's always someone else... N u ain't for me if this shit isn't felt...

Urs in mine...

Put urs in mine... We can go on down to the beach n take a walk to enjoy our time... It's ok trusty me... Intertwine ur fingers jud snuf enough to feel close to unabated dreams... The horizon has a unique kinda visual display... One that might find a twinkle in ut eye as mine the same... As waves will crash with the falling of our hearts in a moment loosening to the mood... Jus to sit in the sand n hold on to hope touching our toes that move... Cuddling hands swing to the feel craddled gently with sighs on the loose... Watch the sky transform like emotion coming back to life... I'll be right behind u so lean into me as our bodies cling to one an other as a memory is made in the mind... N when we're done we can take a stroll down the way before we come back... Smiling as we laugh... Witness to the way the moonlight gives a different feel to who we are side by side... With urs in mine...

ding...

if my creativity chose you to enjoy a topic worth the thoughts crawling through my mind... is there a comfort of knowing the content shared is just the tip of the beginning of some sort of new life.?. an end to everything leading up to a fresh sense of tenderness claiming an earning willing to do more than stay... or am i less than a care sitting in a crowd of could be's you can't seem to come to entertain.?. as i'd like to know what it's like take to consideration witnessing every expression that moves your face as life continues to rip loose... with a tongue to open up what goes on in my head in such vivid details touching the imagination's wonder of who we are put to use... on the other side of doors just past the locks that keep those like me in our place... having an interest in a moment to one good deed yet to be believed that could soothe the sensitive texture in your heart to remember my name... i'm one out of  an endless count of possible reality twists awaiting i know as i understand the deal.. though i was curious to hear if you'd place me in the line up if i spoke up or view me differently than others if i was real.. if i could bypass the disregard you posses when someone's lips babble as if you're better than an other just attempting to say hey... to eventually watch wrinkles crease your skin as a friend who got to the sweet spot and helped you escape... i'm just drifting along and saw a little something in you i felt compel me to take notice in the way you do what you do...as i'm sure you can relate to it ain't easy to get beneath the surface to swim in depths very few are allowed to become a use... maybe one day you'll see me taking a peak in your direction before i turn and walk away... with a smile as i'm not going to be the one to cause you awaited pain...

One man's smile

Only if i could go home n live a normal life... Yet i set out to do jus that, if u could jus see me eyes... Tearing up from being so close as days come n go... As miles linger in between me n a dream as i roam alone... Though i ain't fallin in reverse i still feel the sting of these words... Opening me up as i miss faces i never wanna see hurt... So it's off to sell myself to the highest bidder... Not once studdering nor any time soon, wither... I jus wanna make it back to enjoy what others take for granted... As pieces cone together that's awaited for so long to be transplanted... From a prior time where moments were endlessly driven into the depths of my mind... I've been the one for so long who's been fortunately redefined... N crossing over to from the struggle i merely a sigh away... As tics count down my turn to breathe as a whisper creates a new versiin of my name... Relentless is the factor that will change this phase of pavements trampled on... As my heart will eventually find what aligns to pursued me into something more than homemade porn... In the dues paid in full i will not be denied... Showing the world i care nothing for how one man's smile will forever shine...

Out of service...

Am i too far gone to admit I'm hoping i never feel anything again.?. Or did i jus open up to no one listening to words that have no sound even though every letter makes their own stand.?. Confused is the mind as the heart itself has fed into the thoughts that changed who i am... Able to get so close yet have distance that forces chances from open hands... Nothing is the same in depths as i jus ain't amazed by anyone trying to touch what's sacred within me... Though is it too late to concor what has went astray the day my reality got shoved into mangled dreams.?. It's my head i wish i could exit long enough to gain a different outlook that doesn't wanna make me leave... For i believe in no one who enjoys the goofiness of my own eyes that cannot seem to leak... For a best friend i don't see when sights drift back n forth amongst faces caught in a stare... As i look away from the pause due to they'd no twitch to awaken an emotional phase to care... Could it be possible i jus ain't into a best friend wanting in to dance around like we're the perfect pair... Damn, why is it so hard to play fair when the good appears to thump in chest willing to create something rare.?.

In need...

In need of a go to to settle down in the middle of life... A friend like no other who luv's wth a balance of heart n mind... Jus to go home to a smile waiting to see my face... To have normal hold on to the fire of a single flame embraced... In need emotion wants to feel in ways ours been cheated for so long... To own up to trust giving purpose to relate to a stranger that's come along... As hope rises the closer i get n falls with every presence that must not go on... For the awareness of the use if happiness conflicts with relations ti be born... In need is a comfort to ease sighs released so freely... Creating a design within passion that lasts longer than one is breathing... A must have is awaited if situations could jus align so both participants can relax n jus live... Feeling the undeniable crave of undisputed belief of what an other has to give... In need thoughts wanna rest knowing self is where self should be... With wants that come from the ribs enjoyment within me... Able to touch a real person in tune with me accepting them in the way they are... As the magic in between us isn't so many worlds apart...

Accepting a loss...

As strangers come n go arms tend to not wanna open to friends on the loose... For the comfort fades with situations that haven't the ability to align as life moves... There's anyways something that defines flaws in the design it takes two to become a unit... One crack n the shattering of pieces fall from reflections as one loses it... As the comfort fails to hold on to what will eventually hurt... So being mature is the individual being honest or a reality that must be heard... As the connection hasn't a moment to gather the inevitable oitcome jys waiting around to come uo short... With pain to be had ours better to be honest than to rely on hope that has no guarantee of who's on what side of what door... Mouths must allow verbal communication to be the truth freed... It's the inning way the heart well every allow self to truly breathe...

Heartfelt...

When the heart wants to speak, one hasta allow truth to touch the sound of words... From the silence whispers grow into a voice with a purpose to be more than heard... So the listening can be felt for emotion is real when situatuins change a reality cut short... For outta the depths of the chest that is beaten by memories fighting to live that have no reason to go on anymore... As it goes on n on with tales that have drained it of pure intent... N when it's had enough, passion gets frustrated with a tongue moving frantically as if a puppet... When the char is scrapped from the burn the flame torched... When the healing seals up what remains to be strained to attain sensitive scars so easily torn... The mind itself needs a moment to pause n step aside from the suppresion to ease up... Freeing thoughts that create a reaction jus wanting to be luv'd...

In between the end n beginning...

I jus wanna be free to luv but nothin but one thing felt right... N there's many doors that's said to be home yet the key to the heart awakened me at night... Faces shown expressions though none have that soothe it'll take thathat would've eased my mind... I was still livinh in dreams where holdin on still gave life... For my eyes have seen the willingness of others as I've turned n walked away... As the surface was as deep as the touch could ever go as i keptp secrets as i whispered one name... With thoughts of what remained until the end that slowly snuck up on an emotion gone to waste... N as the passion within clung to the details of memories i got lost in every now n again... Jus hoping one person was ok so i could sleep, slipping off saying, damn...

Loner moans...

There's things that fuck with my head that leak from my heart... So edition had men shit down due to reality doing it's part... With luv itself being the one thing last to be acquired with a friend... For the loss has been felt in a past that for some reason had to end... Pain is real n tears are fall when ripped crom a comfort so rare... Changing the mindset into a solo act the deeper than the wound that doesn't play fair... In my mind i live with the twists that rearranged the makings of who i am... Holding truths in my chest i face daily as a man... There's no words to express the hidden facts of why i refuse passions touch... I'm jus not into the feel of a momentary rush... Jus to be forgotten soon enough as if it's all for nothing... As my prior experiences linger I thoughts n make it difficult to open up to the willing so loving... When with sense i can't come to understand in the free spirit throwing themselves at others the believe are the one... Jus bcuz on the now it's so much fun... I have me to feel with beneath the sheild in which i reside... Afraid to replace the hurt with a layer of smiles awaiting to be broken n added to my life... Clinging i remain in time as i stand alone thinking of them n now wondering where I'm be come tomorrow's dusk... N as for my tongue on secret matters within, it will forever be hushed...

She awakens me...

Awakening to a kiss to the cheek... Feeling a smile stretch as she breathes... As the heat from her sigh does so much more than open my eyes... She's the perfect reason to come to a new day as i am to rise... As she touches my face n slides her hand down my chest... She never fails to show me her undeniable best... With ur whispers funding my ear... It's her softness i cannot help buy to hear... Nibbling a lil bit like a tug to get up... As every morning without fail it's me she's ready to luv... Curling up to the comfort she seeks by my side... She makes the moment more than worth having her in my life... N when i don't move she chuckles in her own weird way... Climbing up on top of me with the sun behind her to begin a new day... She's breathtaking n hopelessly in luv with who it is i am... As i witness myself coming from within on a daily being get biggest fan... As her fingertips find the curve of my ribs... My palms ride the texture of her hips... She jus wants to see the design in my eyes look back at her... Looking up at her goofiness unable to put her into words... She has this way about her that gives me so much joy... Able to play like a child yet understand like an individual of what it takes... As free as being who she is i am what she believes is the ultimate gain... Making it as easy as jus being able to live... N there's no one else I'd personally would rather be with...

Fall away...

To be present the day u fall is not something i wanna see... With a stare having in my direction leaning in to a belief that I'm the answer to ur dreams... Ur blinded by what u want n cater to the thought of who u want me to be... When there's something missing in my eyes u can't seem to believe... As u think u can change hire my heart feels by being the way i breathe... Unable to realize the physical entanglements are shallow giving to momentary needs... I don't wanna stand n watch u wind up on ur knees... Doin anything it takes to win my interests lingering with the breeze... I'm trying to be a friend n my kindness is seen as being mean... Refusing to give in to emotions demanding the sooner than later grief... So to entertain ur smile wanting to suck n kiss on my lips is a fetish u peep... Why don't u believ one day eventually i will be forced to leave.?. Back on my own with another memory neither of us can attempt to keep... In the second u tilt my way i don't wanna catch u falling into what u feel is free... I come with a cost where pain jus may develop is i donut witness mentally sanity... N you get that they is no limit to the days to know what it is u bring... I can't become ur version to me as i drift into the back of ur mind as if a careless fling... So if u would go reach in to someone else's chest, please.!. I'm not as easy as ur one two threes getting lost within what ads up in ur pleads... Years earn the gaining of the five to ten to get to the sigh of twenty...

Altered...

At one point life was with every moment in the living... Ever since it's been to hard to bare for there's not much to be given... It wah like being at the top with lung to spare in the heart... N anymore it's what the fuck do people expect when touching old scars... Once there was peace befor the chaos came along... N now the silence jus wishes other would get lost... From the heights of smiles raissed to peaks seen for days to come that are never alone... Down to the belly of the pits where nowhere ever feels like home... It used to be there was a joy that was as free as the air we breathe... Though that all changed when reality was a struggle to be redeemed... After being touched by a worth that made everything make so much more sense... The end result lingers in the swamps refusing to pretend... Knowing the better days have come n gone asf if time is shortly lived... There's a diffetent kinda chuckle in the way names are shaped upon the lips... From a prior emotion that believed in others... The myth formed its own tale where the loneliness can only be comforted by acts of random luv'rs... Damn the though of how passion consumed desires wanting to play... Due to all that's left is fear of what could be if self ever did escape... Remembering the foolishness that spread like a virus through the chest... Back then is where usefulness have it's best... Altered into the makings of a solo act running scared... There's no hope to ever allow the sensitivities to be bared... Things were simple once upon a time ago... So fuck it if u must know...

Jus drive...

I have shotgun n u can drive to wherever u like...

We can hit the coast n sit on the beach or find an old country road n roam...

The direction doesn't matter as long as here is in the rearview mirror...

Just start it up n let's get lost for a lil while with a smile...

Work the bends like u work ur curves n allow me to loosen my nerves...

Off to a getaway made for two as life is to be excused...

With a lil one on one to wherever u decide is our momentary home...

Take me with u is all i ask n ill be good company n that's a fact...

I just need u to steal me n go live some other kinda dream...

With the windows down we can head down south...

Even travel as far as the mountains transforms our faces into a more comforting norm...

Anywhere will do as long as I'm with u...

Cruising around with nowhere in mind n everywhere to be found...

Listening to the wind in between out favorite songs as we flee...

I can be ur sidekick n enjoy the risk...

Let's go to a place where it's jus our own lil escape...

Drift n turn the wheel to become simpler than what this world can feel...

Jus u n i, mobile, free n at times looking up at the sky...

Talking in the silence as the horizon changes before the eyes widened...

It's the brief stops along the way that create a spark prior to the flame...

To give a lil light at night to see how we in fact sigh...

Resting for a bit as we sit n shoot the shit...

In a remote undetermined location as if nowhere feels like a relocation...

Either in the middle of the thick of woods known as the sticks...

Or upon the opened flat lands where forever can be seen as our last chance...

It's up to u as I'm getting in to take a ride bcuz ur worth the zoom...

Tilted sideways...

There's days i feel like me, free n complete... Then there's others that scream from daydreams to stop it, please... Pleads follow the need to gather myself within my means... Then i lean into the the way my mind leaves me to wander with eyes that leak... Finding a shortness of breath when screening through the anxieties pleads... I teeter on things in my mind my heart caused due to cheap tings... As hitting my head only indented bings in the chest that opened holes for grief to breathe... Sometimes I'm ok n everything seems to be a relief... Then i wind up not being able to believe in anything... Idk if I'm coming or going or what mood will trigger the lead down deep in my very own heap... I'm no one to be although others think I'm living the dream... I feel alone n dead all at once n it swings like saloon hinges that creek something mean... I'm tilted sideways unable to rinse myself clean from the heat that creates a sweat that stinks... As i sink n then surface with a gleam safe from what I've seen...

The comfort of depression...

Battered emotions will take the mind for a ride... Confusing the inner details that make self resist reality's reason of why... When a luv truly felt refuses to feel in return it'll ache in the heart... Triggering the rawest passion to bury itself deep in the chest that's been chard... As time has the only key to unlock the chamber to where true worth resides... N even with the door swung wide open it'll still choose to hide... Leaving desires to wander about carelessly in the wind... As if luv cannot rationalize what a friend truly is... Damaged thoughts destroy the mental aspect to believe in others... Building a wail so figurative due to the interest in self sought out by luv'rs... For self has misplaced the ability too reconnect with what goes on in the outside... Claiming the singke life is so much better when sitting alone in the middle of life... As depression is fought in the silence behind the smile that creates joy for others to feel... Transforming is the clown from within the pain that is all too real... Having control of every function other than late at night... When the day fades n the no one can see self shine... The twist reflects on the hurt that feeds brain... Keeping self awake is the desperation of trying to forget that one fuckin name... A face that haunts the memory due to no one else is allowed in... N this is how the betrayal is able to live... Sucking on everything good that comes along... Wishing the one thing that haars everything could actually talk... As walls have no ears n cannot absorb the voices vibes... When all is said n done n the tongue cannot lie... Hope has been lost in a solitude made for one... The one true place that becomes the fears home...

Back n forth...

Swinging in the sunset sitting on the porch... Thoughts of a life lived is a crave of wanting more... As age tells the body it was worth every fuckin second spent... For the reflection alone has its very own story as it went... It was long... Yet shorter than it could ever be thought... Having times where alone dragged out n being in luv swept up memories gathered for self to hold tight... But that's life... Sitting in a stare on why it tends to turn out differently than what the heart wants... N it isn't until it doesn't matter when the mind throws in the gloves... As the creeking sways back n forth jus thinking about where one had been... Without anyone to share a single tear with when poking at the ribs... Jus watching the horizon change colors until the night does its thing... All the while drifting with the loneliness unable to breathe... Being too old for anyone's bs yet having a lil somthing to give... The solo rock goes back n forth content to be at peace with the grit... As the skin wrinkles n hands that have gone empty for so long... Being trapped in the head is a norm where one doesn't feel so lost... Bcuz when the day comes to rest there's no one left to lose... N that alone is with a chuckle to be amused...

Along comes another smile...

With another smile to come along the fight is on... The wall goes up n the shit down hides holes that's been torn... As the refusal to heal is just ventilation as i breathe... Making it easier to feel the flow of the breeze... Though it brings yet another stranger triggering the fear... With self goin back inward attempting to avoid words lips want me to hear... When the silence sounds better than what week eventually fade... Voices last as long as yesterday coming up from tomorrow stuck with a familiar face... Here comes an adaption demanding worth... A soon to be friend where nothing is ever good enough just to claim that it hurts... In the moment of sharing a lil time... But is it to gain an earning to be in my life.?. Coming outta nowhere are inquiries using selfish interests they cannot see... Unable to witness the difficult choice that must be made of simple lil daydreams... For thoughts are created by an imagination that doesn't live in the real world... I'm jus trying not to have my fingers buried into my fists as they curl... Due to luv brings hate if deptgs are bout considered in the indivudual that stands alone... Knock knock knock, the heart vibrates from a tappong wanting into my home... Shaking behind the locks... Watching hands spin around hours looking up at the clock... There's one more digging a tunnel to get to me... As my anxiety bounces off the walls jus thinking about the day they leave... At the end of everything i am to open up to they means nothing at all... I sit on my solitude chuckling jus to listen to reason echo off the walls... The one true thing that's been there line no other had ever felt me from within... This gesture constructed is a twist shaped into a grin... A defense mechanism that doesn't seem to work... As the presence of a possible luv'r lurks... Waiting for a reply to actions put into play... What is the mind to decide when all it craves is to escape.?. With eyes awaiting something different to come along... To touch a deeper texture ever so raw... Rare to the sinking beneath the skin... Truly living in between the tickle of each n every rib... There's a new figure telling me nights would be so much better if they were laid up by my side... As i collapse jus wanting to die... Petrified of what it is yet to come... Drifting back n forth in no need to get along with the rush... The struggle tugs a pull to give in or be folded by another passerby... I believe my brain has finally been fried...

all i ever wanna do is...

my imagination has an illusion it's trying to stick to ur silhouette... yet ur more like a hologram only i can see when my eyes focus in on the shadowy figure i haven't been able to witness as of yet... like a day dream that i chase in my head i cannot quite catch... i sleep to watch u play in the thoughts i cannot control every night as i relapse... jus to drift on the wonder of who u are come mid day as my mind gets lost... my sights knows ur shape n my senses can feel u the close u get... though it's when reality has faded n i'm lingering in the space in between my ears is when i reach for ur lips... as they are claimed by the darkness as i awaken to my heart racing ever so fast... like the story of my life of never being able to lean into the thrill of ur body in a moment that lasts... i try to go back under bcuz ur nowhere out here to be found... n all i ever wanna do is fall beneath the lights n slip away with u in some sorta fantasy that creates a friend whispering wow... bringing to life the mirage u seem to be... just outta reach... right in front of me... yet, too far to mingle in the flesh in need... though there are times i cannot remember a fuckin thing once i come n back from ur grasps... knowing every time i jus wanna see ur face so i know who it is that wears a faceless mask... roaming in the depths of my chambers so freely it aches to play cat n mouse... sitting upon my tongue is the usefulness i cannot get to come outta my mouth... for all i ever wanna do is taste the flava of ur name as i call out to u... for u to spin around for once so i can have a glimpse of u on the loose... staring at me like come n get it if u want it... knowing damn well i cannot keep up with u floating around in the domains within as ur a mere glitch... a fascination made up to comfort the loneliness i cannot seem to run away from... as ur jus an escape from everything gone wrong by rule of thumb...

If u would...

Answer the calling of my heart n put it to use... I'm all i am as one man standing in the middle of life waitin on ur move... Allowin u to feel how my emotion can not deny the way u trigger my thoughts... As it ain't ur body that i need to pay the cost... Feel me without a sense of luv if that mashes any sense... Like a friend who comprehends a bond is stronger when minds do not pretend... Think of me n tell a truth of who it is i coukd be to u... Yet set aside the passion just long enough to get to the goods... Those details of use that linger on the tips of tongues wanting to move... Into my eat whisper the silliness of who u are... Tug on my smile to lift as u ignite a spark... I just wanna see u ain't live everyone else hanging around before u havta go... So if u would, give me something I've neva known.!.

A more darker place...

Idk how many times I've turned away from the mirror with a tears falling from the eyes... As the whisper of fuck life shakes my pupils n i can't face myself bcuz i know who i truly am in my mind... Wasted n tucked away in the silence where no one could ever reach me... I jus didn't resemble myself n everything around me wasn't worth the living it took to believe i was free... Trapped in isolation without a friend within as the walls keep closing in... Tweaking my smile until it was tilted into a grin... As my reflection showed me i wad no longer the same... N at times i wished it would all end so i could be done with the hate... Lost i fell deep as age changed my face... Awakening to every morning to the sane ol  that i couldn't escape... I wanted out n cane close to digging my way into my grave... Unable to stare back au myself i eventually caved... Found the floor without a bed but wad better than a seat behind a wheel with no shower to bathe... Just to feel it slip away again as of there was nothing in this fuckin works to be gained... I was my worst enemy though i wad the only friend i had... N it didn't add up in the confusion when i did the math... N living, fuck, i mentally killed myself night after night... Making empty rooms more crowded than the space between my ears listing the fight... Alone i sat n contemplated how death would take all the pain away... As i cried for i was afraid... Living in fear of what i might do if it had gotten any worse... Listening to my tongue taste all the things that hurt... I felt distant n sucked into a more darker place in which i was constantly torn... As my mind snapped n somehow a light came on... Though i remember the endless disbelief that drained me dry... Having to gather reasons to move on n collect my life...

Cum on out...

If we got to the stimulations that aroused hormones to truly come out n play... Who would i witness come to life as I stroked every naughty thought displayed upon ur face.?. Giving them what the seek beneath a indescribable chuckle stretching ur smile... Has ur eyes speak to me looking up from ur knees making the mood worth the while... Is there something deeper to ur desires u haven't as of yet done.?. I could show u a few things about yourself if u accept me as that one... In an act of submission where ur pleasure is that of my own... I just can't do the typical bs that cannot comprehend it's all in the way u moan... Teased to beg n yet want me to stop bcuz the nerve is just to fuckin much... As i shh ur lips n go a lil softer until ur able to compete with every pounding of a thrust... Is it in u to feel my hand squeezing the blood flow to ur head.?. Exiting what triggers u to open up n be used to make u vent... To speak out obscenities as filthy as ur human nature cannot be tammed... Though through sexual interaction you'll be maintained... Played with n enjoyed until ur body gives the fuck up... N what we do will remain in the room in which we take the time to explore the rush... Pushing limits until i have gained ur complete trust... Ooh, what the tongue is willing to hush...

It's always there...

The fear of change never seems to stay away for too long... Causing a ripple effect that makes anything other than the silence, wrong... It shakes the heart n tries to pry the bars off the mind... Wanting in to give hope like it'll never turn out to choose a different life... As emotions tremble when fingerprints touch the surface of the skin... N thoughts get the better of a good thing knowing it would be messy to live... On the outside of the loneliness where smiles are shared... Yet that's a place where redirect interests n it's right back to feeling scared... With a chance comes one of two things... To enjoy it while it lasts or reject the offering of an other attempting to sing... To awaken to a familiar face they know n trust... Though a day lingers in due time where forever comes too soon n there's a falling outta luv... Friends don't talk n the void fills rooms unable to hear echos flung at the walls... Finding self alone n wondering if others ever truly care about a simple pause... A moment in time that speaks in its own honestly way to be claimed... Believing in opening up instead of all of the hate... It's the ache that shuns comfort to the side... Petrified that if someone gets close they'll use the dull side of the knife... Yet, it doesn't tend to ever miss is cue... Right when a smooth groove is found one remembers the end that rips holes in the chest from the abuse... N it's like closing the casket sorta speak... To be done with the twisted bs that's always placed at bare naked feet... To do ones own stomping or to turn n stray... It's inevitable so why ever look at relations as a gain.?.

Creepin on...

There's things i do n do not believe... In between this n that n all the questionable definitions of free... I just wanted to show u i never lied when i told u i was a friend before anything else... Even though i was never considered as a keep as i was never truly felt... N the hardest thing was to havta stop doing what i swore to u, but i wasn't given a choice... For even i for some reason couldn't fill that empty void... I never had a chance but I ain't mad though... I had my moment n I came to witness a real sense of worth that snuck up on me after the fact of u n I n all the oohs n ahs that turned into whoas... I found me in a different situation in which u refused to partake in other than being stuck in my mind... As all i can say is, life goes on n it's about fuckin time...

Something i just...

Do u remember that time i slide up behind u n softly whispered in ur ear, "I'm madly in luv with u" as i kissed ur ear.?. N do u recall ever since, not even my friendship ever meant anything to u bcuz truth be told i was someone u could spared.?. Yeah... I've lived through the change my heart had to adjust to as u had fun at my expense as no matter what stood its ground without one ounch of proof... Though i looked the entertainment based on gimme gimme that allowed me to remove u from depths i didn't believe would ever let go of u... U don't know but when i wad with others it felt like i was cheating even though there was spave n time forcing me to wake the fuck up... Though i liked it due to the things I've learned that helpedme comprehend the true messing of luv... N i just wish i could have my tag back at times bcuz u ain't it but i wouldn't know u the way i do... From ya smile to ya strut to that laugh thst went through me it's the real me u are too lose for i honestly never had u... Don't call, don't text n by golly don't ever believe or wonder if u ever cross my fuckin mind... I buried u in the hole u dug n watered me a brand new htatifying type of life... Using ur memory as the fertilizer to grow upward n back into what u failed to realize what u held in ur arms... N yeah, I've known for some time i was never held sacred to ur heart... N we all have how w feel n u have that right though i jus wish u woulda told me instead of thinking u were smarter than me... I have a knife n gave u a flame as the wick burned until u couldn't be felt pulling out the blade setting me free... I just wanted u to know bcuz u presume to imagine I'll always be one phone call away from u needing a lil comfort from a friend... When in actuality i was done the day i didn't at me in ur eyes n that was prior to ever walking away from a touch that soothed the beast that came to peace with relations end...

dead's end...

if there's nothing at the end, what was it all for.?. when the day comes to look back, what's its worth if life is a lonely bore... unable to share memories as self hasta store images no one else has ever seen... living daily as a loner making ones own way n bypassing nearly missed day dreams... jus to  wind up in a solitude state of mind with not one person to enjoy a smile with... as chuckles can't even rumble a tickle on the shallows of the ribs... who is one when it's all said n done n everything has gone by so fuckin fast.?. as time ages the face unseen in an other's past... what's the purpose of doin shit on ones own if the loneliness is all there is waiting.?. to sit with a void due to the fear of being hurt just sounded too evading... having a sense of lost not wanting to ever be found... to dwell of what one should've done when luv tried to make a sound... where's the comfort in a friend that has no idea where years hide in self's head.?. only having stories without a true visual pondering in old age due to trust issues that define one until they're dead... when evenings are as eerie as old tales of unfulfilled passions stagnant upon the tongue... when is change needed before ever winding up miserable n so outta touch.?. is there any meaning to the self righteousness of what's best for me.?. repeating a cycle that rotates into strangers unable to remember that one time type of free...

Who to be.?.

Who to tell the details to.?. The secrets that make us living proof... Beneath the surface where truths are hidden... Deep in a place damn near everyone's is forbidden... So who is it one is to share the centers core with... To tell them of the fine design in which one lives... Like the enjoyment of a cool breeze on a auier night flowing through an opened window at peace in the mind... Or a tailgate lowered to lay beneath a star filled sky... Though it could be a evening cooking dinner with that one person that means the most... Where glasses or even shots tink to a toast... Then again what of the slow motion created when intimacy stroke desires... Could it be a friend is to be witnessed by a flickering fire.?. Perhaps it's the joy of family gathering for a feast... Who's to know of what touches a chuckle deep within.?. Or a soothing moment that eases fists... Maybe driving down a road that hasn't been captured by the sight... Stopping briefly to listen to natures's way of life... Yet, who will cherish the pieces that settle the nerve.?. To be trusted with the heart's very own worth... Discrete n giving every fragment of themself in return... When use is never to speak of a bond muted without words... As eyes open to every new day seeking the thrill n the calm... Holding luv softly in the center of palms...