What if i...

What if i jus didn't wanna be here.?. Having very lil to no enjoyment as eyes more than often shed tears... What if i faded off n never came back.?. The silence sounds so peaceful layin as still as scab... What if i jus didn't fit in anywhere i attend.?. When being alone has more perks than so many fake grins... What if i wanted it all to end before i felt any worse.?. To remain a lost thought that has no true worth... What if i told the truth of how i didn't wanna do it anymore.?. Yet hadn't the courage to finalize my own body motionless on the floor... What if i tried to live more tomorrow than i ever have on any day prior.?. The way i do now as it does no good to be so wired... What if i jus let go n said fuck it all.?. After all no one can hear my voice bouncing off the walls... What if i pretended to be happy for jus a lil while.?. Would it make any difference if i forced a smile.?. What if i never ever woke up again.?. I wondered of the last moment since i was a child...