rambling in the dark...

i don't know what i wanna say tonight... it feels like words have no meaning to the way i'd wanna live my life... having that one person i cannot wait to see day in night out seems like jus a thought... as i jus ain't seen for who i am with emotions wanting to get lost... it's as if i havta hide n i don't know why... lost in a sense behind closed doors bcuz others refuse to try... damn this room that has no sound... thoughts are scattered n distant from the willingness to be found... it's jus the silence here that plays with the mind... n it doesn't wanna loosen up to the darkness that's consumed the light... i have no feeling for emotion isn't in to the same ol shit... at it's ends with the whole alone bullshit... going over different ways to come to terms with the void...knowing it's a choice to live in solitude until relations can be enjoyed... yet that isn't the true case of the nature that resists any definition laying alone... i think i'm jus fed up with how everyone tends to claim to be different but act the same as accordingly as shown... turned off by the replications seen by the eyes of patterns repeating an unwanted norm... n if i venture out i'll be once again labeled as a whore... finding someone worth the wait look at me like the rest so the attempt jus fades... knowing damn well i could give a fuck less of what someone else thinks of me trying to enjoy a gain... tucked behind walls as life goes on on the other side where chaotic minds are waiting to treat me like i ain't shit for doin me... so i jus ramble on without a care to relieve the pressure in my head that reflects how i come together at the seams... somewhat goin without a cause or even to waste here in the middle of the real world... one that cannot see me afraid to surface without the conditions of individuals evolving from boys n girls... in my isolation i drift away as if there's someone who takes notice why i remain by myself... quietly craving the texture of skin to lay upon me as an enjoyments as our hearts figuratively melt... even tough there's other topics that cling to this cave i dwell within... wanting a conversation for the tone of it to gather a lifestyle n stat for a while to see what becomes of grins... falling into dreams where morning awaits the truths of muted moans... creating a place that will always accept the luv shared we call home... but who is it with so many scenarios n version to be considered as the one i cannot go without.?. if it ain't who they decide as friends it's their own ken i don't wanna be around... for i have comforts n shallowness isn't a characteristic i wanna subject myself to... nor weak minded people who feel more than they have a thought process where not everything is what it seems as they aren't able to get past the barriers to be put to use... depths is what i insist to connect with as attractions jus isn't the outer shell... if ones hasn't dug within themselves i cannot dig for them to find they don't know who they are as desires are demanded to be spilled... n i don't ask for much but some things i know i do not do well with... so this piece is jus one of those things where lips wish they could be pressed against a mimes kiss...