one too many times..

having to wait on someone new is enough of the wait to havta repeat it with patience one to many times over n again with expressions that change upon the face... the heart doesn't wanna luv multiple luv'rs jus to have to start from scratch every time it gets comfy enough to believe in someone claiming to be self's truest escape... as even the feel of relations loses the eagerness to continue to take the time to get to know someone new once the pain wears off after a few drifters have left a mark... rebounds ain't the same as curiosities settle on the belief that they're all the same due to the identification of words that turn into remarks... it's jus not the same looking at a set of eyes that aren't gonna be around long enough to remember the pattern within the colors that show differences in stares that all resemble one an other... looking past the moment of alone is yet someone else wanting self to believe in the same ol promises as the last one that was the identical fool as the prior so called friend lying about forever... there come a point where being lonely is more than worth a life without the chaos caused by expectations being let down as if nothing ever meant shit to no one but the image in the mirror... so the ride or die is seen as a twist to get passion to feed into the shallowness until the separation is to consume desires left to ridicule choices jus craving happiness to be scorn... for it's all some know dealing with the stragglers that walk in n outta peoples lives pretending to care about anything other than selfish needs... as wisdom gains control of the mind to correct the mindset so sighs can eventually wanna hear the way mimes breathe... watching the clowns attempt to laugh their way in without any true content in actions before reason is ever given to the hope they demand is real... speculations of who they think we are is their way to manipulate standards to their benefit to seal the deal... as attachments are through sexual lusts to gain a piece of depths that already know of the ins n outs of premeditated foes... playing games gets old as features switch hitters in the middle of what's said to be the makings of freedom as self gets trapped within conditions desperate to redefine the location of home...