i've been there as well...

i've laid in nights that i never wanted to feel...
gave up on luv that took what i was willing to give with nothing in return...
fell to the hand i trusted the most as it squeezed me to my knees...
n believed i too was the answer to what eventually hurt...
as it took years to come from the feel of arms that faded from around me...
finding relief in the release trimmed the edges from my heart..
 helping it concur what is to be allowed if one ever wanted to luv...
for i liked the wrong reasons of others i thought were real enough to accept remarks...
making life harsh for it was self forgotten in the error...
lost behind locked doors able to claim the time to correct my own face...
seems i closed my eyes n it was over before i knew it...
as i went through every bend n curve of a certain smile that tore at my thoughts from the pain...
i found me sitting in the dark wondering why i was hiding...
afraid to feel anything that resembled a truce...
feeling the best of me gather the friend i misplaced within...
as the mirror gave a different expression as my features finally moved...
i came to be sensible in the down time of getting over a decision...
one that wrecked what remain of a past life gone...
yet i wouldn't have it any other way for there is precision...
n coming from the depths of who i've become i heard rumors that made me laugh...
as attachments were cut jus bcuz they shoulda known better...
i gained my mind fuckin around in the absence of luv...
as the story goes relations was never taken as light as a feather...
i remember the way it felt so lost n confused...
unable to find the words to write to touch the sensitivities digging in...
but i gave it what it was worth so i knew the resilience i catered to...
moving with the flow of a mindset in control of what linger within...
there wasn't much rest deep in the nights that wouldn't stop...
they felt so long n came at the ends of every day...
pulsating to the flat line trying to make it through...
as i will never be the same...
sleep wasn't something i could buy...
as i was able to walk away from the darkest kisses that i ever felt...
with me intact...
creating a monster that had to overcome as self...