left

Starin at the memories left in the mind.
This road has become a test of time.
As the heart alone will never let go.
Of a friend in moments that went so slow.
Images remain behind thoughts left.
Somehow things came round now felt.
Its the memory that aches walkin solo.
Things play out from a season so cold.
Diggin in to what remains as a friend.
Left in the depths til the inevitable end.
Seems to be touched is somethin special.
N all anyone can do is cope with the mental.
Guess times unfair n we jus cant have it all.
People come n go n friends fall.
After sharin days that made a difference.
As to hold on needs to be an alliance.
Findin a place deep within the confort shared.
N its left wantin the emotion that cared.

unfulfilled

Sayin all there is to be said.
Leavin dead echos in an empty head.
Transformin what has become.
Into a confused state of mind gone numb.
Livin within the shadows of thoughts.
Hidin from the emotional wants.
Scared to look into eyes that care.
Unable n unprepared.
Time has lost sides of luvs gain.
Sittin motionless as feelin isnt the same.
In a trans of simply left alone.
Not knowin which way to go.
The caved in heart has collapsed.
Jus needin what one that they had.
Movements dont seem to even wanna try.
N thinkin brings tears to the eyes that cry.
Lil patience linger in hope.
Yet it doesnt help to bother to cope.
Its jus the loss of pure unjustified depths.
That came to life as self was swept.
Away n never given a real chance.
To walk aside in a blinded glance.
Theres nothin more to say anymore.
Jus gotta find a home for the cure.
Not speakin of how it feels.
Brings fourth a sense of the unfulfilled.
Livin n breathin jus goin with lifes will.
Runnin from anyone that touches the thrill.
Waitin on that hand thatll only do.
But how long can one actually ooze?
Before the inevitable apears in the unseen mirror.
Shuttin down even on the lonely fear...

like the window

I remember sittin in bed listenin to this song that repeated in my head.
N I felt the pain squeeze tears from my eyes as I felt an end to the hype.
Well before she turned on me in another day for the final time for her own ways.
It was a harsh reality I faced comin from a friend I wanted to see breathe.
As free as the poluted air in her lungs n tge candy she ate.
I sat a man defeated by other than what it was truly I gave.
Yet as still as I was motionless there was nothin I could do to change the b.s.
I jus think back n visualize a blinded fool that luv existed in the mix.
N as the piano played I knew a nemory would come from the life she lived.
Idk how many times I asked her no to leave me outta pure luv she wasnt willin to give.
Countless hrs were spent tryin to communi catw with even myself.
Yet its was comin n I hadnt a thing I could do to help.
I jus wasnt enough when I stood next to her as she blew like the wind.
She really fucked up my grin.

Patrick Swayze... shes like the wind.

I guess

Like the flat line screamin til the plug is pulled.
I guess this is the end of the show for sure.
Nothin sadder than a luv so pure gone to waste.
But it wasnt my actions y we wound up like this.
Its an emotion im gonna miss n that's no lie.
Jus wish u coulda seen me before the end of our time.
THE ANGERS faded as if it jus dont matter anymore.
My thought is I jus wasnt enough n u wanted more.
Yet I was the total package that stood by ur side.
N u did e erything u could to destroy all possibilities in my mind
Its crazy to think of life without u.
But its jus one of those things where u gave ti much abuse.
U,u dont do much as its settled in n im lookin out at a world I no longer wanna face.
Cuz alone ill feel til my dyin inevitable day.
Y u did what u did ripped us from luv for drugs.
N its a cryin shame we cant find each other with kisses n hugs.
Forever torn from the one I choose is the way ill live my life.
Cuz u never truly knew y I wanted u as my very own wife.
But its cool the way u jus gave up as I stood still.
Standin with luv drippin in my hands losin its thrill.
Yeah, its s void I cant seem to come to terms with.
N idk y im not worth the ecpressions I spit.
Must be u coulda never luvd me the way u say u did.
I guess butchie is jus a memory to mandy as when we were kids.
I was there in the struggle givin my all for u.
N what hurts the most is how u could jus walk away without me a use.
U forced me away so I wouldnt see who u were to become.
Cuz u knew I wouldnt have any part of that life goin numb.
It was foolish of u to put us thru the pain n the hurt.
Cuz now I sit in wonder if luv was really meant thru words.

touch

Touch. As soft as it gets rough excites me thru fingertips that slide in a caressin tease grippin with the pain pleasin me that keeps me on my knees. Forcin the need to feel what's real as contact gently turns into passions fire rippin lose thru touch fallin madly in luv as fantasies r plucked from dreams. Landin flush as bodies connect n rub in sweat inspectin to be felt as emotions r dealt with the ease acceleratin into a ragin act of wants pleeds. Begs becomin demands as two open up in a moment holdin the gift long enough to enjoy blush turnin into all out straps, restraints n chokin with a side of truth escapin the english language n movement seen.

Written in stitches so wounds can heal into scars.
Hopin I dont awaken tomorrow to pray to false idols amongst the stars.

please help me understand

What is it in me u say u dont wanna lose?
Cuz im fightin a battle in which there is no proof.
Sittin round waitin on good times to come back again.
When all I see is vibrations from words tearin me apart as a man.
So tell me, y me of all pepole do u decide to rip into shreds?
Cuz I dont deserve the lonely abuse n empty promises left in my head.
Im havin a hard time believin that im am the one.
The only thing I hear is a tone callin as the rest of u is on the run.
Please help me understand the complications u force upon me.
Cuz ill never get how luv could destroy what I bring.
Tell me how it is u think youve awoken to the need of my face.
Cuz im lost n direction is a triangle where the compass' way is erased.
U gotta understand what it is u did to me.
N y I shake on the thought of havin u in my dreams.
Can the truth be heard if spoken after so many lies?
Im jus askin cuz I havent quite got u off my mind.
Its jus the details u leave behind that mske me wonder.
Is this a game in which u r the hunter?

tears of joy

Lets go to war.
Bounce off the walls to the floor.
Bring hell!
Let shit fly n blood spill.
Makin the battle worth the fight.
N then see if we can get at life.
Findin a truce.
Cuz hard times give proof.
Yeah I wanna see what luv is.
To witness u help fix shit.
Cuz without the pain.
The pleasures nothin but vain.
Complete the fuckin package.
N stand stand in hand with matches.
Havin to decide.
Is this shit worth the ride?
All or nothin.
Even with the cussin.
Its what's makes tears of joy.
Feelin emotions void.
Come get at the struggle.
Make life with me n cuddle.
Swiingin with opened arms.
U cant have luv if the heart hasnt been chard.
It gives reason of missin out.
We can show each other how.
Til the death of luv or knowin what we got.
Cuz my luv for u hits the spot!

Lettin shit rip loose to release the anguish thru the english language that helps soothe the feed.
The unwanted dream screams names in the mirror in which causes the undone to see me.
Hidden from sight vision til light reflects my image n im fightin self peekin in anger.

come tomorrow

By the time tomorrow pops over the edges of earth.
My luv will appear before u to stand as urs with a smile that curves.
I feel it comin as the night reaches for this day to rest.
Comin from within itll probably explode on ur touches best.
Its been buildin since weve started n drives me into ur arms.
N to wait for the sunset to ease my pain of ur absence is to much.
Rollin past the midnight hr with patience of day break cuz I fallin in luv.
Ticks of seconds at this point feel like decades gettin lost.
N all ive ever wanted was someone real in my life as the sunrise rests on u so soft.
So when the contact redeems the pleasure put on pause.
Jus know only u can repair a man wastin away on the run
I'm findin a completion thats missin for thats what youve become.

enough

Y do u havta ask u to hold on.
When as natural as it gets should come fourth.
I got thus feelin like I jus wasnt enough.
Yet I gave my all ti sit aline with luv.
I was there as u ledt me standin confused.
Ur that one id never thought id lose.
So y is it u didnt see me at all.
N u firgot who I am as I called out ur name.
U didnt wanna make it last n idky.
N matter what still wants u in my life.
Even after the change has focused on u as my wife.
How could u jus s throw me away like that.
N watch me come undone not bein able to see ur face.
Is it u jus didnt care enough to try jus once.
Cuz im torn in the way I stand n under the gun.
Facin reality of turnin away or comin home.
Luv I jus dont know if I am the one.
U gave up after the emotions was shared.
In the middle of my all bein bared.
N I cant help but to feel I jus wasnt enough.
For u to give n prove to me ur madly in luv.
Isnt that ebat u meant when u said u dont know what youd do without me.
Yet I crumble n u smiled as I landed on my knees.
Forced to find my way in wonder if u even thought bout me.
Beggin to the walls daily please, please, please.

selfish

I havent forgotten how I got these fuckin scars.
 N how I was broken in my restless heart.
Nah, I remember n feel it in ur face.
 Everytime I peek at ur selfish games.
Foolish was a man to have let u rip shit apart.
Yet I needed u to act out in a displayed art.
But hate u I dont for some odd reason.
 Even though u change ur mind on like seasons.
Here today n its good for a while.
 Then u flip out n im walkin on wires.
Yeah, I think ive seen it all standin next to u.
 Everything but luv me in honest truth.
What u did was an act of selfish violence.
 N I sit motionless n alone with my silence.
Waitin to witness if ur best will ever appear.
 As a friend furst it is u I truly havta fear.

leadin the mislead

Confidence without arrogance is sn action spoken behind wrods so rarely used.
Teachin the gullible a more suitable way shown by simply givin a truce aside the proof.
Leadin the mislead curruption if sn others mind state thats seen n been thru to much.
Openin doors as the hearts floor is swept clean n luv shines the surfaces misused truth.
Layin to rest the disadvantage damaged by time along the course of relations past.
Standin firm n in character of landin deep in emotional gain that jus might last.
Correcting what has happened before a gentle hand guides the saddened thoughts the plague.
Its an interest of willingness that no matter what, happiness is shared n is here to stay.

special kinda fool

If I were to. If I did. Maybe touch that secret within me. Jus allow it to live. Is the line enough. Possibly longer that I thought. What if I opened up. Would emotions luv soft? Lets say I felt u still. Like I never gave up. Where would that leave me? Cuz once before I was crushed. So what the odds. The outcome of the chance. At all costs. Is friend finally ready not lost? If I turned me inside out. Bared all truth. Would I be a soecial kinda fool. Or am I worth bein put to use. Think before answers r spoken. Words we can not retract. Somethin we both know for sure. Now act as I react.

have u faced reality

R u ready?
If all hell would break loose.
If time wasnt on Ur side.
N the calapse fell thru.
Blinded by the hate.
Opened to the crumble.
R u able to stand?
N be more than humble.
Hidin in the shadows.
Lingerin in the dark.
Dancin in the misunderstood.
Could u feel ur heart?
Pumpin n fightin for survival.
Losin ground with impatience.
Frustrated n yellinn in the midnight hr.
Jus to feel normals radiance.
Can ya endure the pain.
Rippin loose n unstable.
Deep inside comin fourth.
R u able?
Under the chests cavity.
For a chance to calm the nerve.
Smilin n disturbed.
Emptyin the hurt.
Ragin from ur secrets within.
Angered by the restless b.s.
Twisted cuz no one cares.
Findin piece in uselessness.
R u as fucked as I am?
Mentally unchangeable.
Releasin the furies pleasure.
Yeah! Jus so fuckin intolerable.
Have u faced reality?
As the mirror looks away.
Hahahahahahahaha.
Can u face the insane?
Comin outta ur humanity.
Locked in ur own vault.
Screamin for a way.
Acceptin its not ur fault..........

jus an individual

Its not that im tryin to be different.
Nor do I need the pain n struggle to be a memories want.
I dont wanna lose any more friends.
The kind that hang around til the end.
Im not bein me jus to be invisible.
Yet I dont wanna stand out n be invincible.
Havin my world fall down around me is enough.
Findin answers in the rubble of dust.
Lookin up n no gods present to hear me cry.
Im not the type to cave but im not tryin to hide.
Im thinkin fuck it n im wastin time.
But if I dont care, what's gonna happen to mine?
N who isnt tired of the way this world works?
Name one that's happy by bein a tasteless burp.
No, im not somethin youve never seen.
Jus an individual that actually speaks.

change of pace

All out n spread, I haveny got anything new left to say.
Bout that time to under go a change of pace.
Redirect the chais n ease back outta my own ways.
Im dine diggin for I know whom it is I am unafraid.
Ive been pushin me out for so long I cant remember anything else.
I belive its time to relocate my mind in the presence with self.
Im opened enough to know me n I get the point.
For the words released I feel movin my joints.
So heres to me sesrchin a different aspect to gain my sanity back.
But ill be back cuz this is not a thing if the past...

closer than contact

Lets blind one an other by closin the door n turnin off the lights.
Feelin our way around beneath the sheets n under the night.
Jus express thru movement of truth comin out to play.
Droppin whispers in the ear so soft nerves ease as theyre tamed.
Gettin closer than contact meetin passions surface comin to life.
Givin proof of y I became ur husband n u my wife.
Leanin into the cofort of what is shared in between only us.
Pressin air to the side until we r completely flush.
Feelin to be felt as touch crawls thru our deservin hearts.
Undermindin the guidlines n fallin into one an other n truly apart.
Definin the design in which friends were meant to be.
Side by side, front to back n live as one so freed.
With a knowin of a single graze sets us apart in our moment together.
Makin damn sure its u n I thatll last forever.
So intament innocence reaches in a need to cling.
Enjoyin the presence of the in which we share a ring.

shapin lifes desires

Stickin to the mud as if a child playin in the rain.
Keepin that truth alive n tryin to maintain.
Like a new born doe out frolickin free.
Lookin at the horizon chasin dreams.
Temptin time to set aside a moment to live.
Hopin I never lose that innocent mind width.
Shapin lifes desires to that of my very own.
Day in day out feelin what it is to be known.
Walkin in puddles n splashin in good fun.
Every step with purpose of how I to can luv.
With a smile that can not break for it is mine.
Laughin cuz its not so serious is how I reside.
Doin me like I always have for its who I am.
Growin to be one day a respectable man.

playin stop

Playin with my heart n messin with my mind.
Stop twistin me inside n fuckin up my life.
Where I stood is no where near where I stand.
Imma give it to u straight n ill be damned .
Ticklin my emotions n runnin away?
Kissin me softly n turnin ur cheek as if its ok.
Quit comin n goin lookin out for self.
Cuz ive been there for u n will I can not help.
U forced the hand that lent a heart to step.
Cuz for u in my life I fell as u slept.
As pure as luv could crawl from within.
Yeah, I can finally smell ur stench.
Rotten n rollin with a grin u clown.
Yet we both know the truths u play down.
Flippin script out for selfs interest.
Who you have become I can not miss.
Jus a figment fragmented in a dreams to waste.
Time is to precious to buy into ur ways.
I'm this way do go to ur own distant world.
I'm here in reality n for once ur not my girl.
Ur playground is the only thing u understand.
Do go, playin stop isn't for this man.
Down to the nitty gritty I walked the line.
N now it's time for me to again do mine.
How u did me was want right by far.
So face the very presence as hearts r chard.
Bye bye now, if luv to believe it was nice.
But on the thought I will never think twice.
Worth the time I wish I woulda never gave.
Cuz it was Butchie by Mandy that never once stayed.

u got it in ya

Run with this n dont get scared.
Fuck bein careful or even bein prepared.
Jus do ur thang n find where it leads.
Break me of n do as u please.
Get with it n show ur ass.
Urself n jus lemme grab dat gap.
Feel urself n come the fuck to life
Lemme witness ur best before my eyes.
Loose n with it playin a foolish game.
Windin up wherever we land dinr be affraid
Careless n wreckless livin alive.
True self niw, dont u dare hide.
Undercover blown n showin out.
Come on now n show me what ur about.
Where u at n can u handle bein free?
Cuz im jus doin what I do bein me.
With a smile n a grin chirpy as hell.
Damn, damn, damn, well, well, well.
I know u got it in ya to do it right.
So stop half steppin n get at life.

play me

Grind me down n work me over.
Move with temptations as a luvr.
Play me into ur seductive ways.
Arousin my anatomys wiith ur game.
With bedroom eyes that tease.
Make my taste tester wanna please.
Allow ur curves to sway before my eyes.
N become the only thing on my mind.
Display ur vulgar attempt to get to me.
Like the freak u wanna release so free.
Get to ur sexuality n open up.
With a movement so erotic I need the touch.
Raise ur bar of willingness to turn me on.
Doin things u hide within deep in ur core.
Grabbin my attention n shape ur image.
Climb inside my mind n stimulate the gain.
Pasionately swayin as u awaken my hormones.
Dyin to witness the truths u control.
Actin out ur dirty lil secrets u crave to be.
N watch how u bring out the real man in me.

what u dont know

Drippin as u stand reachin for me neck.
Fully clothed reachin for my belts best.
Unbuckled n touchin my crazy ways.
Tryin to get me to come inglued n play.
Gurl what u dont know is ur my sanity.
The way u pull me from within, tamin me.
U got that groove my playful side needs.
N quietly spoken ur my fantasies dream.
Bitin ur lip n comin on strong the way u do.
Has the man in me loosinen up to ur groove.
Smilin with horns this is one of those lifes.
Jus gettin it n goin where only we can test time.
But what u dont know is how u do it for me.
U drive me into the nights selfish need.
Cuz I crave to bring ur misbehavin to use.
So as u please, roll with me n get loose.
As sexy as u can being fourth ur wants.
Imma fulfill ur desires callin beneath luv.
Showin its face in ur eyes with that stare.
Makin me fall forward into u so bared.
N what u dont know is how u do what u do.
Awakens the life in me jus wantin to touch u.
Alone n in the dark hldin nothin back.
Jus givin my own for as long as I can last.

holdin u

I never knew I was lost til I found u.
Reappearin n completin that empty blue.
Jus holdin u shit became so clear.
As the man in me rose without fear.
Side by side that comfort is irreplaceable.
To reach to be able to touch u is remarkable.
All the questions I had disintegrated instantly.
As everything I longed for had possibilities.
Ur lips co in synced wit mine so perfect.
My dreams cane true as I knew u were worth it.
From the past u came n gave me luv.
A truth that never lied as we became flush.
Its u my heart calls for in the middle of the night.
Opened n acceptin willingly ur hand in mine.
From the start n as long as ive known u I was urs.
N after holdin u, u own my luv that needs u more.
As words can never express the depth of how I feel for u.
Jus know til the end of time, my emotion will never go mute.

do me in slowly

If u feel the need to cut me.
Do me in slowly.
Take ur time so we both can enjoy the pain.
As emotions drip like rain.
Ease the twist n make it last.
Remind be of what it was I had.
Before the end of lettin go stands still.
All im askin is dont live in gilt.
Jus do it n have patience in ur decision.
Take my will n force ur incision.
Find ur pleasure in breakin me down.
Cuz once broken, for this luv the heart wont pound.

r u

As an individual, r u enough for an other to find worth.
Is whom it is u truly r gonna be what theyre lookin for.
When the dimee drops n u appear before their eys as u r.
Is ur all youve become gonna stand alone as hearts pour?
At the mement of impact where the realization is known.
Is it self that u have opened up n willingly shown?
R u that one life dorsnt seem right without once time jas taken its toll?
Givin proof to relations that home is earned n will never grow cold.
If emotions unwound n u were left in a calm stare.
Will eyes speak in a way purpose is felt as ur bared?
Can the skin feel touch in a sense of comfort lettin loose?
Freein n submittin self to a cause to luv thatll never die with use.
Dip into ur mind n seek if actions that tell u, u r wanted.
To someone else as u r, r more than somethin.

strange

Wouldnt u wanna be strange.
Touch a lil strange.
Feel a bit of strange.
Wouldnt u wanna rearrange life.
N cut its strings.
Release the puppet from the strain.
Jus Act strange.
Reinvent ur own name.
Become u n realize what it is to be sane.
Break away from the same.
Dabble into the strange.
As u as self is claimed.
Opened up n untamed.
Feelin strange.
As the new u is gained.
Knowin ur own range.
Bein known as self tamed.
By self inside ur own brain.
Doesnt it feel nice to be strange.
As an individual needin change.

beneath the level

Under the radar away from suns shadow hidin from noticability.
Where every movement is a collusion with lifes invisibility.
Beneath the level of crucial inflictions intertwined n playin their part.
Im amongst the lowest of life peekin a shut eye stealin whats been chard.
Its back to the bottom where it all began decades ago.
Damn I shoulda known my own enemy lived within I shoulda sold.
The struggle down here behind these concrete walls never relaxes.
This place is so close the end nearin round givin a flyin fuck facts ass.
So heres to ur happy lives goin so perfectly insane n hypocritical.
Some forced down into the gutters jus dont belong, but in ur world would that be hypothetical?

the crack that broke me

As private as it gets to be unsaid round bout now.
Theres pieces if me shattered about.
The crack that broke me wasnt so quiet.
I imploded in the not so gentle hands of silence.
As self fell apart without a care chasin a dream.
Chips bounced into a million itty bitties of me's.
All starin back for answers that screamed.
Like as if in a smashed mirror n they didnt recognize me.
As simple as it sounds im jus an image that failed.
Not all of the puzzle is even here so I cant be repaired.
Ive lost key microscopic elements to my own design.
Empty is what I am inside anymore as tears r invisible to the eye.
Rounded edges r more sharper than I remember.
Bleedin ducts drip within n im drownin alive all together.
On emotions I cant bare to explain any longer.
I jus dont know how to put me back together.
I cant look at my reflection long enough to figure it out.
A snap exploded inside me as I crumbled with a frown.
A trigger to my own character comin undone.
The wind mustve blown away the connection gone numb.
The one between me n my happiness escapin.
I feel the rottin of who I was deterioratin.
That man with purpose that gave his all on the line.
N of the fragments that were left behind.
They were plucked from my luv while still alive.
Pulled from my heart like teeth from the mouths gritted grind.
Makin sound adjust to the ear so damn confusin.
Mumbles n moans of gibberish went unheard causin delusions.
I dropped my shell n was taken out by the hunt.
Shot down by what appeared to be a 50 cal. From cupids very own gun.
Takin the life I knew away from whom I was deep in my core.
N to be honest I jus dont wanna live this way no more.
As quiet as its kept on the hush side of secrets.
Ive lost my will n if u find it u can keep it.

if i

If I believed I could show an angel how it to could cry at the mercy of whats been felt.
Even if, yet I do not participate in such evils on the edge in which I fell.
The expression to clip the wings is a form of suicide for the way home is gone.
Then maybe the disbelief will be taken n notes of how a human feels lost.
From beginnin to end fillin voids n losin ground with time fallin behind the legs.
With a subconscious in which speaks a piece of the minds understandin as if awake.
As I am unable to turn on self n give self away to a fairytale imagined by fear.
Yet if I could touch the flight of an angel it be with a bullet for all my undeserved tears.

simply reason

It must be everything I thought it ever was n will ever n for forever be.
My all is still on the line, willin to prove what type of emotion needs freed.
Diggin deeper jus to touch that feelin that sinks into the skins comfort.
It must be real luv lastin thru the strugglin heart playin friends in chords.
Past the point of no return it lives n reaches to survive til the end of time.
Pleedin quietly n silence never heard n breakin down as its so felt wooven in a ryhme.
Its truth settlin on the tongue to be shared with the only one thatll ever do.
Livin in patience n waitin to simply reason with a luv that can be more than put to use....

hooked

Hooked in the heart that becomes live bait.
Pumpin to a pulse pulled grom the dirt.
Like a worm that never had a chance.
Plucked from the mud flushed out by the rain.
Punctured n bleedin pains truth of fear.
With no help comin soon before the dip.
Sinkin under the splash down to the fishies.
To a sea of hungry mouths bitin a nibblin pinch.
Swimmin n waitin for the moment to see u swirm.
Chomp,chomp, rippin the nerve of life away.
As the fight within drowns beneath airs gasp.
Done n comin undone as the rest of whats left fades.

is it real?

If luv doesnt hurt, it isnt real.
Its like emotions that cant seem to feel.
Passion without a kiss in a pause.
Someone exceptin u n all ur flaws.
In the same as truths held on the tongue.
Words gone unheard n to the heart, unsung.
Its to hold the hand of ur best friend.
Yeah, its a connection from beginnin to end.
Without them, nothins seems right in life.
Two as one side by side til the end of time.
So if whats shared isnt felt no matter what.
Jus walk away cuz it surely isnt true luv.
Wastin time in the face for personal gain.
As if expressions used is nothin more than a game.
Its gotta have depth of purpose felt deep.
Or its jus not anything od what it appears or seems.
Is it real or r u movin in motion?
Toyin with an others will n devotion.

beggin for truce

Its a struggle to find self.
Its me I can no longer help.
Idk how to be me anymore.
Who am I behind the gore.
The face of a man is confused.
Beggin for a truce.
His heart swims in sorrow.
Not lookin forward to tomorrow.
Its an empty feelin wantin it to end.
Ive lost my fuckin head.
The tossin n turnin is to much.
Coverin up luv with an others touch.
Somethin jus aint right.
I have no will in my fight.
The one I use to be is gone.
Somethin is seriously wrong.
Anger riddles my thoughts.
Pain Consumes what was fault.
The stance I rise to jus doesnt care.
Jus goin with the flow unprepared.
N its me that is to blame.
I failed n now feelbthe strain.
The weakness I never knew I had.
N its drivin a sane man mad.
Touch jus doesnt feel the same.
Everything is nothin more than a game.
N its the way I miss my life.
How I jus wanna feel my wife.
Life fell apart n idk what im doin.
N its as if idk where im goin....

I thought

I thought I was hurt by words.
The pain we served.
I must've went over shit a million times.
The hate we pretended to side
I believed it wasnt me u wanted for sure.
Lost n lookin for a cure.
N after alls said n done.
Im left knowin y I grunt.
Its cuz ur not by my side.
Mandy, ur the reason for the happiness in my life.....

wanna go home ( im numb)

Im done. I jus wanna go home.
The fun n games r over. Blown cover.
Im jus a simple man. Listenin to my heart.
I want a real luv. Givin life to the numb.
Its the only thing ive ever needed. Wanted.
Fir someone to be there. Simply care.
Fuck the dumb. Im tired of goin numb.
I dont wanna live without. I'll show u how.
My all is urs to hold. Dont let me grow cold.
Alone n makin due. Be my truth.
Change what lifes become. Ur man comin undone.
It could be us in our time. Best friends within a piece of mind.
Own me! Make me who I use to be.
Cuz im lost. Life somehow stalled.
Will is abscent. Its fucked up n tragic.
Seems ive died n walkin dead. Be the one in my head.
Bring me back. Help me make it last.
Its jus me. Reachin Im numb n free.
Jus hold our luv. Feel its touch.
Cuz ive never felt anything like it. Without the b.s.
Walk with me til the end of time. Me as urs n u as mine.
No matter what. Side by side n fallin deeper in luv.
More n more everyday. Snuggled at night as we lay.
Im lonely without a friend. For me bend.
Cuz I'll break for u. Cuz I know ur use.
Be the one that makes me, me. Dont leave me with a dream.
Close the space in between. Come find me.
Im waitin n ready to come home, I'm numb. Cuz with u I wanna fall madly in luv!

its the way u left me standin as a man

Its how u left me standin as a man. Aline n make back against this cold world wantin n in need of my friend. I seems u didnt understand where I stood when I was next to u. Loyal n honest in proof I found myself mistreated n played as if an instrement of ur confusion. I was there til the day came space gave u the power to shove me away as if I never meant anything to u. But it wasnt the first time. We use ti say friends fir life, no matter what. That lasted as ling as u foynd others n we werent face to face n u held the cards. N ooh u played them n used tbe queen of hearts to cut me down with her sharp edges. Funny! I took every blow. Every hateful bit if torcher I didnt deserve. It wasnt easy n til this day I struggle in life knowin what I thought I had u say is real. What u say I will recieve with 100% n full of luv. Yet ur there as an other doesn't allow s to speak. N if I come thru the door ur homeless. Sad! U were suppose to stand by my side like I did urs thru all the pain n hardship that u caused. N now that ive found comfort in someone who needs me as I do her to give life to a smile that doesnt seem to work, u say I crushed u. Nice! N now that u know how it feels which wasnt my intent, u feel me n luv me now. But y now? Cuz ur treated like shit? Cuz now u realize I spoiled ur worth n make life? Cuz u had time to think n come away with how good u had it with the gentlest hand u ever felt? U forced me to step. N jus between u n I, I dont wanna lose ve without u. Yet my hands r tied to fear of what u can do to me at any given moment. U alone r a piece of work I can handle. Its the way u left me standin as a man I cant shake. The way I had ti dig to pull myself from a place I never knew existed. Somewhere after feelin ur touch, ur skin, I never thought id ever walk thru. Yet u forgot bout me. Butchie! The one person in this world whi was there for u cuz I cared. Cuz there was purpose for u in my life. But u turned on me for what reasons. We were great together when u wasnt lookin after yourself. When  actually expressed ur luv. Its jus the way u left me standin as a man time n time again when ur fury landed in me heart, head n my skin as the connection slowly destroyed me  so what was I to do after u said I dont know what id ever do without u. Cuz ive seen what youd do n it pains me in the deepest place ive ever felt. N yet more luv v for u will never die. Im jus not healed n scared shitless of only u in this world. All I wanna do is come home. I s to hold u n feel the luv that never ended within me. But someone needs me for ive gained a trust that u never cared to see. Shes been my go to, my comfort n my friend I can count on. So to leave her to the wolves will never happen. Jus know someone is there for me. A human that simply needed someone like I did when tore me apart. I stand beside n behind her cuz I have found a luv fir her like I have u. Its not easy knowin I can come runnin to u. Its not fair now that youd want me to. I fought for luv. N u ran to a kidestyle that ripped our life apart. Pretendin to be someone else cuz it was so fuckin fun to do as u wanted. To lose all ten of us as a family. I was the only one that gave my all n took the abuse to show u what luv could do. Ilu1! N I always will. Jus please understand now is not the time for me to give u what u want cuz ur done learnin ur lesson as an other controls ur life when by my side u were free to be u. Mandy n Butchie for life right? Then be patient cuz theres somethin I have to do in life. If u can do that, it show youve changed n understand cuz the luv we share is true. Ur my one. My only. Endless luv. AILOWY1! Its jus the way u left me standin as a man. Real!

leavin

Heres a certainty thru words expressed by feelins thatll never lie. A passion held in at the lips while the written is release what I hide inside. Its the truth wrapped around my nerves thats unsettled n completely undone. As time itself is near the hand that ticks of my own happiness on the run. Two demons lay about in my mind that riddle in need of an answer. Rippin me into two with an uncertainty that one or the other will make it thru. In one palm I hold the one I considered th luv of my life with an unconditional type of cherish. In the other Im currently feelin with fingertips that eases my own pain as I feel her upon my lips. Between the two a decision has been made for room. N its me that has to decide to end in truth. My wife n what I thought was my best friend is trapped n reachin for my hand to help her redeem what it is I thought we shared. The other is friend thats stands by me n is there for shes in need of a change like self as I to care. Mandy! The completion of a lifetime is was n will always be what was. What we had is not a never endin luv u left madly in luv, I can nit stand next to u. For my knowledge of what ur has come true. Shelby! To hurt u like everyone has done ur whole life is not what I want. Cuz I enjoy our time together n have so much fun. So to walk away n leave u without anyone in this world, nah, im urs to own. That alone would break down the man in me cuz I know our friendship at this point is growin n my hearts not on loan. Im my own way back to normal n a way out of whats been known for as long as one has been alive. N the sadest thing I know in life is I to know which one of the two will feel the knife. Im no longer in pieces tryin to put my own life back together again. N I guess im felt for the way I stand as a man. Ive never cheated nor have I ever lied. But the truth this time around will close a chapter as im sorry to say, only the one can stand by my side. To choose is done, n I already know whats goin to happen. My smile works differently in the presence of Mrs Morgan laughin. She owned my heart n fulfilled my dreams. So Ms. Darby please dont ever think u were second best to me. I didnt start this thinkin id feel this way bout u as u face me n I turn on my past. Jus know as I step away I found u givin reason to me n thats a fact. So missin u I will not do n I will remember how I had to decide for my own smile to live. Jus know if she ever came for me id stand beside u no matter ur age cuz I know what u give. Imma find a home in u n feel ur truths. So Mandy!  For the record, I ask, dont ever hold a grudge for someone that had ur husbands back when it shoulda been u holdin for me a use!

jump

Jus fall n land.
Feel a hand.
Let whats failed go.
I'm not like anything you've ever known.
I won't catch u.
Cuz I'll be falling right beside u.
Jus release yourself.
N know or felt.
Free fallin.
As I'm going down for its u I'm holding.
Together without a shoot.
Cuz I'd leap in proof.
No worries.
The desend is the rush of the hurry.
Jus don't forget to stand with me.
N step into life as if waking fr a dream.
Remember after the new is gone.
Its us that's left to have fun.
All I can say is I'll cushion or blow.
Once impact awakens realities flow.
Feeling that endless thump.
U wanna jump?

thru ur mind

If I landed in ya wonderin unanswered dreams.
How long would it be for u to pull me into ya reality?
I'm not saying I'm the top dog as if I'm the shit.
But I know what I can do pressed against ya lips.
So if I wound up slipping into or thoughts.
Do ya think it be possible that I'd wind up feeling or touch?
Not saying you'd come to terms with ya emotions so fast.
Yet what I do know is I can be that moment that lasts.
Let's say I crossed or mind n or curiosity followed me thru.
How quick would ya walk with me n put time spent to use?
I don't want ya to chase my shadow into the unknown.
Cuz if ya know yourself your feel where I'm coming from full grown.
So who's to say if I set up shop when ya close ya eyes.
How'd I make ya in tensions wanna seek what I can not hide.
Cuz I'm stepping in n I'm gonna figure out if I'm allowed to stay.
See ya in ya daydreams drifting to sleep at the end of ya day....

forced to walk

What is it u want from me.

Cuz it fucks me up evert time u call n the phone rings.

Mentally u defeated me.

N my heart is afraid to hear u sing.

So is it behind or words that I can believe.

U left me on my knees.

As my dreams still bleed.

Yet I answer to hear u want me.

Is there any truth to the way u breathe.

Cuz I'm trying to find reason in ur need.

As ur voice expresses in me u wanna lean.

N yeah or tone is different as it seems.

Yet can I trust u after being so mean.

I'm begging u please.

Don't u dare play with me.

Cuz I was forced to walk away leaving u free.......

i see it turn

I can see it.

Deep in the centers of my eyes.

Disapearin into the mirror.

I see emotion walking away from the surface.

Beneath the shell.

Hidden from touch.

Its stepping backwards into my core.

Watching me.

With a spin to unlock its cage.

With its back against this world.

Trapping self into my own prison.

The feeling is not wanting to know me.

My one friend doesn't even trust me.

Yet I understand.

I to felt the knife that's gripped.

Untwisted from the heart.

Spilling out.

I hang my head for I am witness to my best friend walking away.

Shutting shit down on the inside.

I believe I failed me.

I am only human damn it!

All in the same.

I knew you'd turn when I needed u the most.

I know I'm a piece of work but I am real.

Facing what is to come.

N where r u.

Fading in the depths dying alive.

Not wanting to feel again.

I can't see u in the dark when I chase u in my dreams.

Gimme the key.

Stand with me in a stare.

Y do u let me live as the pain?

U fuckin coward.

Where's my reflections use?

Cuz the image has changed its expression.

Cuttin the ties to what I resembled in my mind.

Its all gone to hell.

Cuz I flipped out on self.

I hurt my precious feelings.

Gone n went numb.

Yeah its my fault.

I coulda stopped it.

But u wouldn't let me remember!

It was u that held on.

U the heart.

Not me in mind.

So run!

IDC anymore Cuz I stand as a man without u.

Peek in at u giving the fuck up.

Yeah I see it.

Lost in a blink as the head turns.

I get the cold shoulder.

Swelling the wells.

Dripping Cuz I lost me after alls said n done.

Im standing in silence as the passion is leaving me driftin n alone.

I see it turn.

how it was is how its not

ilu1! i say it everyday. no matter whom i see. mandy is was n always has been my dream. ilu1! n thats no lie. that day is comin soon for us to stand side by side. n imma luv u even more than before. ilu1! its no secret to anyone on how i feel for u. ur my one n only. my woman wife best friend n truth. ilu1! shit got outta hand but look at us now. wantin that feelin of touch back cuz we know where we belong. together we can never go wrong. ilu1! jus be patient n stand up n know i got ur back. i always have n always will. ur my gurl. ilu1! im comin for u. jus gimme a lil time. i miss u n imma fix this at the seems where it let loose............ this is how I felt for u for to long. I'm movin on for my lesson from u was taught. This was not luv from ur end. Hell, in u I've never had a friend. Ur in ur own now n for the rest of time. As for once when it comes to u I'm mine! Dude to u the one I called three luv if my life. N jus think I actually made u my wife. Do u could turn on me as I tried so fuckin hard to make sure u n the kids were ok. But it didn't matter by the end if the day. It'd me doin me now n till the day I lay still. Motionless as I am now to ur fucked up grill. Laughin n gigglin as if I'm really a joke. Yet what u fall to realize is this, git us there us no hour. You've gone n done it n im out like 5 thouy G! I'm a different kinda free. How it was is how its not. I'm not the same n I can't live with doubts. Jus go n don't look back. The man u lost its a thing if the past.

its a broken movement

its a struggle in the way of the walk when side ways is the only step that can be taken tryin not to be seen.

jus sliddin thru time untouched n fleein the one thing that ever made since both in reality n in unfulfilled dreams.

its a broken movement that will never settle the pain that wont sit still long enough for comfort as the feet move.

keepin the mind pre-occupied with where theyre goin without a direction to find a helpful way to smile n cut loose.

when shit collapses the desire to try jus falls out of wills trigger defendin the hearts ageless attempt to keep its youth.

forcin the legs to kick in stride away from the stillness in an awkward phase that cuts deeper than emotion ever knew.

never lookin back when an other is lookin cuz u dont wanna be caught by the hands that beat with a tender touch of b.s.

yet peekin is a time that stands in a stare fightin self on y u were put thru avoidable misery of bein missed.

as the thump in the chest shoves down the memory feed by thoughts stuck n the pasts livin n remembered.

the lonliness is fought off but excuses made to ease the selfish lies of ones own best friend continue u hurt.

n not even motion in reverse can fix the wronged intentions that play the effect of unreasonably n purposely bein crossed.

as the head hangs sayin, id do anything to have another chance cuz the luv shared still cares n could never in time be lost.

its simply at a pause that could last a lifetime if words never break to silence of the truth that remains.

leavin an invisable hole emptied for the return of the one that calms the days battles as wars r won together again.

waitin on that moment to save the design of friends to overcome the twist thats ringin out the drips of rain.

deep into like

I got this image in my mind like a fabric stained with lies.
Of a time of truths that cried out before my blinded eyes.
As signs spoke with lines of actions n emotion I couldn't hide.
N feelings that climbed from within that was mine n since has died.
Turns out feelings the wine n dine inside is waiting on someone else to mind.
Patiently weavin a pattern of friends sliding deep into like that forms the drive.
Its kinda like as if I was ran over by the honesty in which I write.
As a ride forced my fight to spin round n notice an other in plain sight.
N my pride stepped aside as my smile shines n tightens realities strive.
Jus findin a moment to live n glide on the backside of my comforts of the one that applies.
To an openin to be filled n dive down within my shut down grind.
Movin on a new highway n traveling along side a new memory made by time.....

Isn't that the way it's suppose to work..

clear ur chest n ease ur mind

So I hear u have somethin to say.
I'm willing to listen to help u figure some shit out.
Lets play withholds n lay rest the games.
Lemme give truth to what falls out ya mouth.
Cuz I heard u from a distance repeating my name.
Come on now, lets face this n be bout it.
That is if u got the time to keep it as real as u claim!
Stand with me n knock.out all this bullshit.
Cuz a lil birdies been chirping in the same sense in which you've been talkin.
Behind backs n hidden from plain sight.
I hear you've been peeking at ya shadow that been stalkin.
Break wind n socialize with a mind that can keep u find yourself at night.
Cuz the chitter chatter of rattling teeth is annoyin.
Losing up n flow with the thoughts u spit out ya mouth.
Allowim me to give worth to the syllables u release that's so enjoyable.
Or I can put u on the spot n point out details u no nothin bout.
This is the moment of truth that'll end all gossip.
So sling ur vocals my way n understand what you've been doin is not ok.
Cuz I believe when it comes to reality, u fuckin lost it.
N it bout time I show u the meaning n purpose within the letters of my name.

its u i like

Lemme talk to u in a deep voice so soft it'll makeu melt .
Show u where I'm comin from so to can be felt.
Lemme have ur heart for me.
So u can eexperience that real luv isn't his a dream.
Lemme guide the emotions you've never used.
Dig into u find a friend in moments of loyalty n truth.
Lemme feel u crawl within soothing my very own beast.
So u know for a fact I'm for real at very least.
Gimme the one n only on thing I ask for.
Ur willingness to open up not jus behind closed doors.
Lemme touch u somewhere eyes can never see.
Allowin me to become who I truly am before u as I take the lead.
Jus follow intentions proven in actions that speak out loud.
So u will never second guess the words that taste so delightful comin from my mouth.
Drift with me to place we can ease back n find the comfort in one an other.
Doin what comes natural n become more than luv'rs.
Lemme earn that one thing that we all seek to enjoy.
With a lil time spent as reality is deployed.
Jus understand I'm jus me takin an interest in u.
N find it within u to do as u do.
Cuz I'm craving to put into play what's been on mind.
Head over heart as the only thing we have is time.
Lemme release compassion I hide from this worlds ways.
N enjoy u by my side as I'm here to stay.
I gotta lotta luv built up I haven't used in some time.
N jus so u know, it's u I like......

felt

Under covers. Close. Wrapped with a luv`r
Felt by touch. Snuggled. So fuckin flush.
Skin connects. Comfort. Livin the test.
Held n holdin on. Fallin. Passions core.
Bein felt. Accepted. Bodies on tilt.
Leanin In. Sinkin. Quietly feindin.
Emotionally game. Ready. Things have changed.
Next level layin . Wantin. Truth escapin.
Openin up. Cheesin. Needin so much.
In a,moment. Time. As still as kisses rollin.
Face to face. Flippin. Pulse pickin up pace.
Triggerin the crave. Intamacy. Under the night of day.
Fingers roam. Grip. Hormones explode.
Taste becomes pleasure. Magnificent. Finally together.
Showin interest. Play! Lifes finest.

normal

Normal...... to be self. Truly let yourself come alive n live. Not carin what an other thinks. Enjoyin ur time. Normal..... not bein like others or followin suit for they claim to be different by actin like someone else which makes them like everyone else which is abnormal. yet in this world its become normal in a way the term normal has lost its meanin of what it truly means to be self. As an individual. Normal..... when u have become u cuz in ur world everything is jus that, normal..... its not til u alter yourself for an others ways u become abnormal cuz ur not yourself. Normal.... has become a figure of speech that somehow understandin the logic in thought of what the actual word normal is. Normal...... jus be u n fuck everyone that doesnt understand or thinks ur weird. Cuz normal is weird for we r not all the same. That's what makes this world a great place. U never know who ur gonna meet thatll interest the other end of difference causin curiosities wonder. Normal...... sometimes it may appear ur crazy dysfucntinal. Yet in reality those who seem to be perfect havent found themself as of yet. Normal..... do u get it???

its jus me!

I dont have a prob bein myself. Im a realist. An athiest whos in luv with life. Shit is what it is. Make the most of it. Nothin will last forever. I know who I am. Im jus me. A rare breed n I dont try to beanythingless than what I feelor think. Not affraid of facin my truths. Can'tuz thats who I am. Im straight to the point. never gonna be perfect. Ions die jus like u will. I like me. N like is more important than luv. Inside n out I am what I am. A realist. Direct in a civil way. Showin character. Flat out jus bout it. If u know me on that level ur one of the few that can relate. I dont carry many with me. So know if I do fuck with u I see it in u. N if u flip script im out. Ive learned who I am. Always been this way. Yet ive come into my own even more here recently. Get at me n come with a friendship or step. Times to short to deal with immature b.s. is caled bein real. An understandin in my mind that wont allow me to fall subject. Been there once. N stood back upwith a smile that can never be broken. Life is at my fingertips. If u aint with it....... dueces!!! If u cant feel that u jus might not get the point. N u jus might need to dig a lil deper within yourself to grab a hold of the realization that life is tickin away. I wont miss u if urr half steppin. U come n u go. Im jis that type when my feet hit the ground u get what u get. Me! Its all ive ever known. The only way I know how to be. I dont wnna be different. Jus wish this world would wake up n witness how goofy it looks.... jus be!!!!! N be honest.

a man

Dig into the mind of a man whos felt his sanity snap n laughed bout it.
N youll find a man with reason that stands firm no matter the season.
Jus hearin a man on the otherside speak of reality in which u know will open u up.
Its in a mans eyes when u see him pause in a moment of truth vecomin clutch.
On another level starin down life with purpose for himself so an other can feel his reality.
Its where a man lives n will remain as his tongue doesn't taste lies nor feel humility.
For a man is correct in his actions that expresses his true intent standin in the middle of life.
Needin nothin from no one for he makes it happen n faces his mind.
Well above his heart he never thinks to long for a mans instinct is quick to draw a line.
Livin within his surroundings knowin hes got a grip n willbe fine.
Realizin b.s. before it appears a man will cut u lose before u get a chance torub him the wrong way.
So if u ever step to a real man n hes down with u, hes there to stay.
As long as u keep ur head n walk on the other side of what youve been taught.
Cuz he will leave u in a moment of no return if u slip up n stall.....

diggin someone

Its an interest on a level of diggin someone.
Findin them to be interestin n fun.
Gettin at life with with them side by side.
A friend like no other knowin ur tackin in consideration in ur mind.
Doin what they like as u like they come full circle.
Jus bout it to see u smile n jumpin hurdles.
A comfort level that settles the nerve.
Believin in actions n patient on words.
Knowin ones place in time to enjoy their presense.
So get at it n stand the test of time without hesitance....

touchy feelie

Sssh. Hush. Now close ur eyes n have a lil trust. Lay still. Jus for a moment. Jus ease back n enjoy fingers bein lent. Lemme feel u beneath my touch. The way I wanna explore u. How I crave to enjoy ur skin. Softly in a caress made of truth. Can u feel me? Playin with ur nerves. As ur emotions rise. Without ever speakin a word. Hold still. Try not to move. Jus relax under luv's presence. As I make find a way to bring to life ur groove. Sssh. Listen to yourself breathe as I feel u feelin me. Makin time last ever so slow with devotion. Dont peek. Cuz imma change directions. Can u feel me now. As low as ur navel. Headed south. As my kiss opens for the tongue thats able. Driftin further as sensitivity plays with ur hormones. Can u feel me. Buried in pleasures place. Now open ur eyes cuz this is not a dream......

im comin

Dont play games. Jus tell me the truth. Be as real as I am with u.
Be self for u r who u r. But dont change me. Im me n doin my part.
Yet tempt me. Give me reason of interest to come get u. Follow my lead.
Speak ur mind. Of all the things u want from me. Then in me youll find.
A gentle man ready to get at life. Jus willin to open up. As emotions will never hide.
Tell me now as honesty breathes. Cuz u have my attention. Imma ask jus once by sayin please.
Dont think im beggin. Jus know im real. N id like to know myself if its me ur playin.
Cuz im comin. N I want ur worth. All n the above with a lil sum somethin.

hidden conditions

Could u luv unconditionally if someone was wrong.
Or is it u to accept givin up n hearin the same fuckin song.
Cuz reality will show u, u r really alone in an end.
Bringin forth two begginings n an other foe that was once a friend.
One in which findin self again after time has ran out.
N the filth of hidden pain is spit from the mouth.
The other is a new face stairin u down in between space.
Wantin to walk as long as life allows one an other to enjoy a mate.
So when do u think workin shit out has come to steppin on the line.
Findin reason to simply accept we all fuck up on lifes ride.
Or is backin down easier as turnin round sux as u jus give the fuck up.
On what once was the greatest thing u ever felt as luv.
Is it when trust didnt prove itself in a moment of truth.
Makin u realize the brutal realization of honesty is cut loose.
Only a few of us rise to another other level n get ripped apart.
Privileged, yet that's lifes way of moldin the character that becomes chard.
Like the heart thats been let down so many times as we say were done.
Losin more than partner that gave up n now motionless on the run.
It all starts n will always be in the head that loses focus along the way.
As someone will feel abandoned n alone without a luv that can never be saved.
Communication, willingness n honesty is the foundation of relations.
N one t1me is all we get before emotions starts the excavation.
Know ur part n give as if u wanted to receive ur own luv given.
Or two true friends will wind up livin solo as worths r hidden conditions.

like ahhhhh

Don't over step ur boundaries.
Know place n space will close.
Like ahhhhh, if u can feel the presence.
Jus let the situations flow.
Stand stationary n move to the dance.
Take a chance n jus bob.
Deletions isn't shit without a friend.
Cuz emotions will.set a drift the chance.
Maintain in mind n claim ur own heart.
Control those feelings ready to explode.
Time is a virtue n all else is a set up for failure.
Tap in to self ease back n ride the ride slow........

a hole is taken

Stepped thru as a hole is taken by the chunk. For the heart to be left dangling to feel the chill of such.
Opened in a way this world sees the weakness within. As the face bares the pain that's left without a grin.
Touched then gone like the winds cool breeze. Try to stand strong of stayin off ones knees.
Trust given to be abused by a selfish friendly foe. Left inside out n aching from the cold.

Walking thru for reasons unknown that has no purpose. Jus questions replacing emotions that's twisted hurting.
Numb n replacing the pieces taken from luv's grip. Bitin off words never the less from the lips.
Backs turned where faces once stared in aww. As the truth of the heart is shown to all.

shes like a drug

She's like a drug that has no end to the pleasure a man seeks.
As he bows to her for more cuz he feels her in his veins that speak.
With a pound as if morris code tapping his hearts vibe that decodes his luv.
A high of all highs with simple contact that drapes him with the slightest of touch.
His calling has made home a fiend for the tender feel or her skin flush.
Restin upon him as he loses himself in the middle of a craving rush.
There is no cure for the heart that beats in her very own presence.
For she's the best thing yet the worst thing as he misplaced selfs defense.....

Yeah I felt it.... n walked away!!!

know

Jus in case u ever ready this blog...... know im tryin to walk away. Know I wanna do this with u. Know I'm at the tail end if somethin I don't want. Know I'm feelin u. Know ur friendship is the shit. Know for the sake of this ever goin anywhere, I don't wanna hurt u. N know as I swear with skin u to trust me. Imma show to feel luvd if given the chance. Jus know!!! N stand by me. I need someone like u.

unnecessary b.s.

It's how u feel bout ur own life.
Independent or relying on an other.
Either u r ur own.best friend or lost.
Dig deep n find who u r above all other.
Lessons learned will grow old.
Be there for the one who counts the most.
Hold the line enjoy ur time.
N you'll never be on the end of a roast.
As giggles n chuckles point n clown.
Round self out n be bout it.
As ur mind will find the understanding in life.
Seein thru all the unnecessary b.s.....

i write

I can feel it. Comin up from my depths. Steppin on the b.s. it climbs. Life has survived n I'm comin round to gathering up my best. Pickin up peices shattered along the way. On the inside where the hearts cliff measures what's left of the luv in my chest. Peace n pain twisting in a twirl tangled n tweakin as a spiralin intertwine rips thru what appeared to he a super hero bulletproof vest. Yeah, i... had a talk with cupid. N he told me he tried to miss the last time round. Yet the arrow found me driftin n useless. Kinda like I am now. Jus walking thru life unused n far from clueless. With a gift of purpose that comes from deep down I hid from this world under the armour. Cuz everytime it gets harder n harder cuz I get closer to what it is I'm seeking as I they destroyed givin to the seconds within minutes of the hours that own the day. Yet here I come climbing my backbone n adjusting the way I stand as a man. Shakin off where I've been jus get to goin where I am to be with a lil lady living inside of me. Yet I will choose the emotion when the times at hand for the pressure built up to be released from behind the mask of truth n emotion where devotion lives outside of behind the eyes that dream.... can ya feel me? Jus one as me as I live in reality where equality isn't arelations immortality. Jus two gettin it once I lift my head at the peek of the horizon settlin nerves in my mind. Til then, I write!!!!

worn down mutt

Resting behind whats unlocked with the door shut.
Lays an independent worn down mutt.
Off the chain n peeking out the windows.
Barkin at everyone's crawling shadows.
Guardin the one place left to hide.
Healin his wounds n running round with time.
Left with the emotion of two tales.
Eatin up the possibilities chasing tail.
On the inside listening n waiting he sits.
For one day to be set free from the bullshit.
Loose to find a home where his chow awaits.
Protectin the one thing that matters the most as his mate.
Yet hes as still as the night n hiding from bein caught.
Dreamin of the day to stand for his, at all costs.

religion

Religion..... lol... here's the way I see it. Its a dreampt up dream by a scared frail lil man afraid to die. A lil story made by man to comfort the fact we r not gonna know we're goin in a box n we will never know we r there. Funny. I'm ok with it. Guess that's y I am the way I am. Wakin to life! Cherishing my moment n keepin stride of what I need to do as a man so my luv'd ones know my loyalty. I stand in a different direction when it comes to knowing the value of a single breathe taken is precious. Doesn't make me less of a human. Jus a realist that treats others equal no matter their belief. I am alive n in luv with life!!!

reinvented aa man

I remember lookin in the mirror n my eyes went black.
I lost myself n it was I couldn't keep intact.
Its a maddenin effect u wouldn't understand.
When life rips ur world apart n u gotta reinvent u as a man.
Yeah I remember what it felt like when I finally stood back up. N now no one can tell my shit so shut the fuck up.
I dragged myself thru hell here on earth.
When I realized the bel...ief in a god is a curse.
The feeling I strangled released the life from within.
The twist tilted my head as I Began to grin.
I snapped n found sanity within the cracks of my own mind.
N that's a place no one has infected in my time.
I remember jus not giving a flying fuck.
N I'll be this way forever til my ashes become dust....

its never to late

It's never to late to sit still inside yourself.
N count on the only one that can be felt.
Its never to late to come from behind the eyes.
Showin yourself u know how to feel alive.
Its never to late to claim what u thought u lost.
Cuz if u wait til the end ur lost in the sauce.
Its never to late to connect the pieces in life.
U jus gotta find em n complete the puzzle in ur mind.
Its never to late to dig into the depths of ur honesty.
Cuz if u wait to long u jus might lose sight of reality.
Its never to late to stand up n be the u that u hide.
N put to rest what u think everyone wants u to be in ur mind.

cuz

How deep can u dig to know ur not like everyone else.
Cuz I've touched my jus to feel a hand that helps.
Can u turn inward n find the only piece of mind that comforts.
Cuz I found me searching for a friend that needs me more.
How more insane can u become before u realize ur worth.
Cuz I personally fell to the hands of my dream gurl.
Can u accept the fact that u r ur own best friend.
Cuz it's the only one that's completely honest til the end.

jus findin a moment

I got this image in my mind like a fabric stained with lies.
Of a time of truths that cried out before my blinded eyes.
As signs spoke with lines of actions n emotion I couldn't hide.
N feelings that climbed from within that was mine n since has died.
Turns out feelings the wine n dine inside is waiting on someone else to mind.
Patiently weavin a pattern of friends sliding deep into like that forms the drive.
Its kinda like as if I was ran over by the honesty in which I write.
As a ride forced my fight to spin round n notice an other in plain sight.
N my pride stepped aside as my smile shines n tightens realities strive.
Jus findin a moment to live n glide on the backside of my comforts of the one that applies.
To an openin to be filled n dive down within my shut down grind.
Movin on a new highway n traveling along side a new memory made by time.....

out ya mouth

So I hear u have somethin to say.
I'm willing to listen to help u figure some shit out.
Lets play withholds n lay rest the games.
Lemme give truth to what falls out ya mouth.
Cuz I heard u from a distance repeating my name....
Come on now, lets face this n be bout it.
That is if u got the time to keep it as real as u claim!
Stand with me n knock.out all this bullshit.
Cuz a lil birdies been chirping in the same sense in which you've been talkin.
Behind backs n hidden from plain sight.
I hear you've been peeking at ya shadow that been stalkin.
Break wind n socialize with a mind that can keep u find yourself at night.
Cuz the chitter chatter of rattling teeth is annoyin.
Losing up n flow with the thoughts u spit out ya mouth.
Allowim me to give worth to the syllables u release that's so enjoyable.
Or I can put u on the spot n point out details u no nothin bout.
This is the moment of truth that'll end all gossip.
So sling ur vocals my way n understand what you've been doin is not ok.
Cuz I believe when it comes to reality, u fuckin lost it.
N it bout time I show u the meaning n purpose within the letters of my name.

apart

At the bottom yet still fly.
Gotta get my shit together that's no lie.
Its cold n dark where I sleep.
Concrete walls n a heater at my feet.
I allowed my best friend to tear my world apart.
N there's nothin left for her in my heart.
Jus a thought that feeds the comfort.
As the passions tick needs some jumpers.
Here as down as I've ever been.
A woman ripped me apart with a devious grin.
One I thought had my back til the end of time.
As the emotions could never hide.
The pain from a touch so gentle to this man.
Its cuz of her I changed my stance.
No more feelings on this ride.
Its either friend or foe in my mind.
My heart don't wanna care for its spent its try.
A luv's been torn apart n has died.
Trust has become absent to say the least
N all that's left is a dog in heat.
Yet I will rise again soon to my own place.
N fill it with the dream of a lil lady dressed in lace.
Here under the radar hidden n ashamed.
I got beat at my very own game.
Guess I shoulda played along n used my wife as well.
Only if I woulda known it woulda turned out I'd live thru hell.
I coulda stayed on top n had all my possessions.
But I sit n wonder in a new direction.
Where to go n how to get there.
After somethin so real invaded how I cared.
Its one of those things where blinded by the thirst of a kiss.
Fills the room of a friend as were now apart, is dearly missed!

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undercover luv'r

Undercover luv'r. Fake with words that seem to touch that point of no return.
Pressin on emotions never to be used. Playin a game as someone will wind up bein hurt.
Time spend in a set of eyes that speak of a dream come true is eventually left seemed n flowin.
As the confused mind breaks down the reality n a friend they thought they had forgets the showin.
Cuz it was never two as one as patterns r seen as the head floats back to the surface of the heart.
Truths bob from the ripples that fade from the waves that suffocates the intention do their part.
N standing back up even as a man for we all know women can rebound a bit faster by not givin a fuck.
Life jus will never be the same after enjoying the presence of a cold hearted individual that kept shit on the hush....

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depths n lengths of scars

Attention is to be paid in life.
Chasin a dream will make u pick sides.
Losin all sense of normal sort of speak.
Change u into what u thought was need.
Bein self is a characteristics strength.
Knowin what's before self n concurrin what leak.
As a man or woman balance needs its place.
As one stands with real thoughts n emotion upon the face.
The grind alone is a struggle that tells a tale.
Somewhere shit got twisted n we have failed.
Listen to the vibration speaking a loud.
N u will never be the one falling from the clouds.
Many things make us who we r.
Earnin variations of different depths n lengths of scars.
Some r hard headed individuals that do for self.f
Yet in the end jus remember ur blood is ur only help!!!!

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splash

In a dip in the mind floating with the ripples caused by the vibrations stomp of life's choices one learns how to swim.
Smack dab in the middle of the lake over flowing with thoughts fighting the tide we all feel the undertows spin exhausting the limbs.
Its a bobbin effect that pushes with the winds of change in a different direction as a new shore is felt beneath the feet.
Yet it seems everyone jumps back in to backstroke under the sun n eventually comes to realize it's a 1600 meter defeat.

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jus let shit flow

Lets do this the right way. Cuz I felt a fairytale fun on my tongue.
N there it went as I stood madly in luv.
Lets keep this shit simple n be friends. Can u dig?
Cuz into u I'd swim if given the time to find the healed hearts rips.
Ease up in the depths, surface with reality n cum on back.
Don't fall to fast n what lasts will bring truth to the facts.
Stand n deliver self cuz losing an other isn't a gain worth saving.
I'm not superman! I'm not everything you've ever wanted. As there's somethin in me ur wanting.
I can hear it as u ask where have I been? Yet around I've been findin my way.
Shit changes n feelings fade fast n I'm jus here n u I can not save.
I'm jus me n I'm as human as u seem to pretend to be. Jus sayin.
Y do I always havta be so fucking perfect as an other fails relations falling from the claimin.
Think. Be. Live. N jus let shit flow n play in its time of use.
We don't know how long we have together so jus shut up n enjoy me as I do u.
Don't promise me tomorrow. Don't fake the silence that'll cum eventually.
Keep it real n jus try to express what it is I mean to u in ur reality.
Cuz I've heard it all before n believe me, words r cheap.
Sounds bad but the only thing I believe in is ur actions in time that will speak to me!!!!!!

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the drizzle effect that drips

Out drips the emotion smeared before the eyes as lil lettered of a lil lady gone bad is blaming a good man for the issues that tore a lifetime cut short apart cuz she jus can't handle life...... here comes the honest truth of how a woman can destroy a man's will as his character is put to the test as he fought for six months n is there for her in a way no one in this world has ever been nor will ever be jus to walk away from his wife..... here's the pit of depth showing its face in the mirror so he can finally release his pains deception that crawls thru his veins like a parasite takin his life away from his smile as he's been cut n bleeding out the luv that he desperately needs to flush from his heart..... here comes the end of a friendship three decades long that fell to no mercy as hands were deliberate in takin n abusing the reality of his loyalty as she was afraid to accept somethin real cuz she knows nothin bout luv that scares her even though he's let it be known everyday that he luv'd her from the start....... here's that twist in life that breaks a man down jus before he pieces himself back together n stands with a better understanding in his step as he walks the fuck away....... yeah this is that drizzle effect that clings to the sweet spot no one knows of that's so fucking tender it scares him to ever attempt to use emotion cuz all he's ever gonna feel is her n the loss that couldn't stay.......

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if u somehow can't

If u find yourself in the middle of the moment n u don't feel anything at all......... if somehow ur emotions don't work n ur tears won't fall.......... if u can't express the hearts desire to fight for who it is that ur locked in a stare with....... if the only thing u know is the empty canvas that covers the hearts bullshit..... know ur not in the right place.... jus walk away before ur heart finds that empty space!!!

G'bye freind

Thirty years has come to this?
After thirty years never again will I kiss ur lips.
Ur not jus a luv'r.
Ur a friend like no other.
Damn near my whole life I've been in luv with u.
N now it's come to.........
The pains empty emotion so lost inside.
Is this how I'm suppose to live within my mind?
Walking thru life knowing ur out there.
My heart will never heal this tear.
After a once in the lifetime we jus walk away!
Y do we admit there's to much to stay?
Without a doubt it's our hearts thats connected.
N life will soon begin to inspect it.
For sure we luv yet r kryptonite side by side.
Now we gotta step from his friendship with truths to hide.
There's the way we luv'd that is so rare.
N the completion we willingly shares.
Comes to mind as the heart still feel ur touch.
Yeah, we gotta walk away madly in luv!!!!!!! N that's what's sux!
Cuz we both know who owns our hearts joy.
This is for u n letting go of a friend left within I can only enjoy!
G'bye friend, for its a loss as ur like family.
Shit! I can't believe this is happening.........

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alone without that one

Feeling the way u move like the breeze in n out of my life.
Tryin to hold on to the luv as if a bull took me for a ride.
8 seconds it seemed to be n poof! U were gone again.
Leavin me at this point in my life as a full grown man.
Its funny how time gets away n people change before ur eyes.
Once madly in luv turns to confusion in the dark side of the mind.
Openin n closing a new chapter that's only part of ones story.
N as a memories face begins to fade as the heart heals from its injury.
Livin in the moment that made such a difference now gone.
Feelin lost without a friend like no other is losing the chorus to a favorite song.
Meanings change as feelings wind up redirected never to be the same.
For there's that one person that owns the heart of a fool in time tamed.
In the beginning all questions r answered by actions n whooos.
Yet as things play out n communication breaks down, were left without the clues.
Passion clouds the mind as vision can't see the truths blinded.
Jus caught up in an other fighting for another day that's timeless.
Words find a different tone in which they speak outta luv.
Its jus one of those things where someone else fits like a glove.
Comfortin the void n fulfilling the emptiness that's been since birth.
N knowing no one else will ever take their place is the worst.
Yet to walk alone as paths split n individuals separate to find their way.
We all live to find some kinda happiness in a new day.
Its never easy to lose that one person that gets u for they know u.
Cuz the vibe in the chest is afraid to allow an other to touch u know who.
Self! Is to be protected by all means cuz the one turned n walked away so easily.
Yet if promises r made, doom has already been processed n ur a slave.
Bound by reassurance when the know doesn't havta be said.
Ur jus setting yourself up for failure n alone you'll sleep in ur bed.

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