its the way u left me standin as a man

Its how u left me standin as a man. Aline n make back against this cold world wantin n in need of my friend. I seems u didnt understand where I stood when I was next to u. Loyal n honest in proof I found myself mistreated n played as if an instrement of ur confusion. I was there til the day came space gave u the power to shove me away as if I never meant anything to u. But it wasnt the first time. We use ti say friends fir life, no matter what. That lasted as ling as u foynd others n we werent face to face n u held the cards. N ooh u played them n used tbe queen of hearts to cut me down with her sharp edges. Funny! I took every blow. Every hateful bit if torcher I didnt deserve. It wasnt easy n til this day I struggle in life knowin what I thought I had u say is real. What u say I will recieve with 100% n full of luv. Yet ur there as an other doesn't allow s to speak. N if I come thru the door ur homeless. Sad! U were suppose to stand by my side like I did urs thru all the pain n hardship that u caused. N now that ive found comfort in someone who needs me as I do her to give life to a smile that doesnt seem to work, u say I crushed u. Nice! N now that u know how it feels which wasnt my intent, u feel me n luv me now. But y now? Cuz ur treated like shit? Cuz now u realize I spoiled ur worth n make life? Cuz u had time to think n come away with how good u had it with the gentlest hand u ever felt? U forced me to step. N jus between u n I, I dont wanna lose ve without u. Yet my hands r tied to fear of what u can do to me at any given moment. U alone r a piece of work I can handle. Its the way u left me standin as a man I cant shake. The way I had ti dig to pull myself from a place I never knew existed. Somewhere after feelin ur touch, ur skin, I never thought id ever walk thru. Yet u forgot bout me. Butchie! The one person in this world whi was there for u cuz I cared. Cuz there was purpose for u in my life. But u turned on me for what reasons. We were great together when u wasnt lookin after yourself. When  actually expressed ur luv. Its jus the way u left me standin as a man time n time again when ur fury landed in me heart, head n my skin as the connection slowly destroyed me  so what was I to do after u said I dont know what id ever do without u. Cuz ive seen what youd do n it pains me in the deepest place ive ever felt. N yet more luv v for u will never die. Im jus not healed n scared shitless of only u in this world. All I wanna do is come home. I s to hold u n feel the luv that never ended within me. But someone needs me for ive gained a trust that u never cared to see. Shes been my go to, my comfort n my friend I can count on. So to leave her to the wolves will never happen. Jus know someone is there for me. A human that simply needed someone like I did when tore me apart. I stand beside n behind her cuz I have found a luv fir her like I have u. Its not easy knowin I can come runnin to u. Its not fair now that youd want me to. I fought for luv. N u ran to a kidestyle that ripped our life apart. Pretendin to be someone else cuz it was so fuckin fun to do as u wanted. To lose all ten of us as a family. I was the only one that gave my all n took the abuse to show u what luv could do. Ilu1! N I always will. Jus please understand now is not the time for me to give u what u want cuz ur done learnin ur lesson as an other controls ur life when by my side u were free to be u. Mandy n Butchie for life right? Then be patient cuz theres somethin I have to do in life. If u can do that, it show youve changed n understand cuz the luv we share is true. Ur my one. My only. Endless luv. AILOWY1! Its jus the way u left me standin as a man. Real!