sitting still wondering how trust got me misplaced in an alley... taking a trip back to get a better visual so the truths line up no matter who's to speak of the dilly dally... seems the chill of winters watch frost melt as the ignition turned to get some heat... finding the morning sun bring one more change to correct a few things as the closer i got the more i fell in to reality... homeless i laid in bucket seats so uncomfortable working at times seven days a week... without a true friend to go home to as i had to rethink my train of thought aching at the knees... tucked in behind a garage on days work didn't need my assistance i sleep on n off due to the weather that change through the seasons reason to keep going... so i can return back into the realness of touching what wants to be enjoyed... as employment trusted in me more than those who knew better than to ever think of any less of me... finding its parking lot the closest thing to comfort to rest as the silence settled in to empty dreams... fighting the nights roaming through my head as water to bathe ran from gym faucet thinking wtf is next... as my heart slipped from beneath me n hid so i couldn't hurt no one trying to come up so i couldn't invest... residing in hotels from time to time to stretch the legs as funds reached the moment to go in n get keys to somewhere i could cook my kids a meal... witness to who's truly found me at the bottom as friends n real family never questioned the shedding i had to peel... as finances freed up i thought back n still do of a time i had nothing to offer but my relentless passion to stand the fuck back up... hushing the solitude as life is coming back to my expression as a must... i remember how it felt with nowhere to go n needing someone as i was unable to trust another pretty smile... the front door back door method jus wasn't an option as it clung to attachments that would hurt someone new in the long run of needing jus a lil while... lost i remained humble at the gutters feel of low could neva have me... not once tipping the bottle to grow as one with the pain as i hid well enough to feed my greed... the shit twisted me straighter than a mindset guaranteeing focus getting after the misfortunes time to end... as the pings to the dome has been pushed out as i need not the return of dents... no more head games calling out fake relations of gorgeous lil addicts that crumbled my walls... friendships don't reside in the let down riding on the back of hope... the situation flipped the tongue from kissing to fuck no.!.
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