i spent 2010 with freeway... rachel was fun as the drinking she enjoyed so much became a factor of relations as we found ourselves walking away... it was the first time i had ever opened up to emotion as it was 8 months of knowing i wanted to feel more of the same... as i turned around n ran into 1! i fell so far in to mandy i forgot who it is i was... seems the pills shut down her intentions to keep me in mind... it lasted 2.5 yrs as the divorce came after another 5 in which i waited on her jus to split as we went separate ways with time... n lil bit came from a friendship i didn't think would've found emotion on a level where we united... jus to awaken to the reality of drugs that made relations so fuckin hard as it came down to bad timing... damn near four years went passed where the ride with shelby n the substance pulled me further n further below the willingness as i jus had to go... n not once did i feed in to any of their habits as they sat upon their thrones... it took me 33 years to accept the fact that others wanna feel the reason of luv... as i sit alone at damn near 42 going over the malarkey relations bestowed on my life craving the feel of being touched... yeah, i rest as i reside not to wanting to go back to the male whore ways of getting what i want from a female... it's hard to think the game of reversal plays out once in the mix of the selfishness we all fail... almost a decade of trying to establish a connection went by as if i blinked n poof, it was gone... as if it were a dream that left a sting playing in the hidden messages of depicted songs... i wait with patience bcuz time is all there is... n i miss the feel of the pressing of a woman's lips...
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