overlookin beauty

Look. But don't touch. Feel what u see.
Come follow me, live in a lean.
Pay attention to what comes from within.
Overlookin beauty in a simple grin.
As the witness in u awakens truths.
Leakin self as actions give proof.
Feelin who they r arrivin before the eyes.
Yet not once fallin victim to cosmetic lies.
Connectin internally as skin never meets.
Jus feelin the pause in a visual dream.
Lettin loose the passion built up inside.
Cuz there somethin reachin u can not hide.
Peekin in a slight stare that lasts in the heart.
Fillin space n fallin in luv with whom they r.
Takin the expressions truth over the shape of a face.
Calmin the beast that cling to the presence they make.
Feel without liftin a finger as luv comes alive.
Releasin sensors crawlin thru the mind.
Temptin self to see thru the sexual scene displayed.
N u to will Become that one in the middle of a friendship made.

eyes of a stranger

How is it, u can look into the eyes of a stranger n see someone you'd luv to know? Jus so willin if given a chance for self to be known. In a glance in between eyes connectin. Givin spaced as long as possible cuz it's then ur respectin. As a rush of some sort takes a charge thru the body. Like a bolt of lightnin lettin off sparks in the hearts lobby. Wantin to take it to the pent house if only a moment would give. Feelin what comes from beneath the hidden expressions that wants the needs to live. How is it one jus knows if interest was shown, they'd fall in luv. Takin time to act on a friendship that would explode. It's jus a question of how intentions feel so drawn to distance in between the zone. How is it in the presence of comin across someone, the chemical imbalance flips a switch? Causin the mind to think as the heart gets attached to a desires twitch. Not knowin what may come from the seek to find out y they pull u in. Cuz there's somethin bout them that stirs u up within.

for luv

What would u do for luv?
To receive the luv u give.
Could u feel it in the return end?
If given u chance to let it live.
Returnin selfs expressions.
Sent back n gettin even.
To reassure the time we'll spent.
Makin due u to is breathin.
Would it change how u play?
If sound went silent released from lips.
N felt as if u kissed self landin in perfect form.
Like somehow u jus couldn't miss.
Gettin lost on the reverse end.
Could u handle the flip side?
Enterin the mind jus to find a friend.
For luv at its finest stage.
Expressed n releasin u give.
Would it mean a lil more to accept?
Allowin patience to open up n live.

how I truly feel

In the mean while of livin I found ur touch.
Jus goin about time I got wrapped up in ur luv.
So rare n unique I fell n I'm sinkin in.
Down goes the wall built to protect what's within.
From the inside out I feel u in the middle of ur smile.
Witness to u Becomin more than with while.
Somewhere jus Findin my own way.
There u were n miss ur wantin to stay.
Changin the shadows upon my face that site where I've been.
It's u Shelby that's found my grin.
Pausin heartbeats long enough to calm the nerves.
So I can express to u how I feel for u in do many words.
Settlin in n creatin the reinvention I logged to feel.
N for u I promise imma keep it real.
I luv u more than I ever thought I would.
Cuz what we share is like poetry written in a book.
Titled friends that find a way to find what can't be found.
Speakin without words that never make a sound.
Jus vibes n emotions that fill the truths.
Explainin his it is I truly feel for u....

walkin thru the poof

Fallen skies, clouds fog the fight.
Like luv draped over blinded eyes.
Floatin on emotions, a comforts ease.
Down comes time to please.
Walkin thru the poof tryin to reach for touch.
Hopin to be felt by luvs proof.
Moistenin the face, waitin for the lift.
In the middle of the mist.
Movin in motion, patience has formed.
Welcome to what will lead u to the norm.
To what will lead u to what men's the most.
Within the smoke like float.
As reappears from the rise.
With a better view in mind.
Standin under the sun, with truce.
Along side ur presence of use.

if u knew?

If I spit my truths into ur ear, would u think any less of me? Would I have somethin to fear if u truly knew me? If my thoughts turned inside out for ur friendship to know who ur dealin with. Openin my secrets behind closed doors that should never be repeated from ur lips.
Could u keep me safe from this world if I was honest n told u exactly who I am? Cuz we all need friend that holds uor depths never to be mentioned. Can u stand for me as I would u if I expressed my realities hush within my heads dimensions. What if I were to jus let loose n appear before u do u can adjust to me before we waste any time. Do u think you'd accept me n fall into me n soak what u hide. As real as that one thing we all want that's so fuckin hard to find. If I spent a moment if my life n simply asked u to check my mindset. What would u do if it was what u see is what u get. Standin in front of u wantin to match minds that don't hold back. As individuals could u feel me if I was bout it as who I am doesn't slack. What if, I dumped me out for ur eyes to search thru my worth. Im jus sayin, perfection didn't exist but I jus might be the one that more than pieces together words

a type n style

Im jus not that type to hurt someone jus cuz I can. That never made me happy nor show the man I am. Innocent I am not by far for I am human. Pain isn't my kinda happiness jus to stop the dreamin. The truth is never gonna break anyone that knows of it. If theyre bout it n realizes it's not bullshit. Best intentions r involved in the middle of the break. Unless understandin doesn't take place at the bend mendin confusions that leak. It's jus not my style yet I've accidentally torn open a heart myself. It was never intentionally meant to be cuz she was felt. Stabbin someone in the back that trusts isn't my way of luv. Either make it happen or be real with s conversation that takes place losin touch. Words r spoken not to get under the skin but some feel the need to rip emotions from the chest. Not knownin to talk bout life's wants Passin the test. Down for the arguin n frustration is never gonna be the way I step. I'd rather have purpose with every moment givin proof n hope half way I'm met. The struggle isn't bout who gets who cuz one doesn't put forth the effort. It's showin with in the hard times n how one can fix if possible what hasn't worked. Plug-in at nerves will fill a void large enough to spot a good thing in two. N for these immaturities that cause insecurities havent a use. Cuz tellin someone to leave or I'm leavin send a bit extreme. If someone doesn't make u wanna stay, maybe u should jus leave!

Back

Hes gone now.
Out there tryin to find a new home.
I felt him leave.
N I'm better off as he roams.
There is no lines to cross.
Nothin left her but reality.
Boundaries r barriers in the heart.
All that's here is me.
Time is all thats in hand.
Gripped n taken.
There's a new awakening within.
Mind clutchin what's shredded n fallin.
Life has returned.
Self has come back to stay.
Changed n tweaked n still standin.
N all I wanna do is play.
Emotion is a thought aloud to live.
Misunderstood by the heart.
I'm in control once again.
Back inside a mindset I should held from the start.
Shit jus got as clear it'll ever be.
Tappin out with plugs in my ears.
I can't hear notta n the music riddlin my time.
As I haven't a fuckin thing to fear.
Different n explained to the one that means the most.
Yeah, I know me better than anyone.
N what I stand for is alive.
Livin with a dude of pure fun.
Nah, he's don't live here no more.
I witnessed him step out.
Head hung n silent without Friend.
Pathetic lil shit has been found.
N I forced him to leave.
I had to.
I couldn't breathe.
It was all his fuckin fault.
If I had jus listened to my in whispers.
I'd still be in top.
With the same two workin middle fingers.
N I don't give a fuck.
I know who I am.
He's doesn't fit in here.
I need to be me, a man.
Till the end.
With jus nuff room for somethin real.
Ooh shit! Welcome back.
After bein peeled.
Layer by layer sui truths can be seen.
Heads gotten back in track.
N vision has crystallized.
N that's a fuckin fact.

somewhere in my steps

I did as a man once. N somewhere I my steps I forgot how to be one. I did tall n was proud of what I was. N it didn't have anything to do with luv. It's who I was n what I did that made me, me. Yet somehow I'm searching for a way to set myself free. Climb back out n stand as if I've never fallen. N the echo if who I was diesnt seem to wanna whisper, let alone start talkin. But one thing is for sure that remaibs a fact. I will not fade n most definitely will never live in the past. The man in me is there cuz I can feel him hidin. Waitin n anticipatin it's own time to come from within me fightin.

Under the hidden moon

Creepin up on the dark in the evening hours.
Showin face in dawn's final light fallin like a coward.
Leavin me standin in a stare as sight is in use of peripheral.
Alone with the night fallin upon my skins texture so visual.
Jus so it can see me as it surrounds me with every angle covered.
Usin me to fulfill its own gain as if a virgin lover.
Stalkin me slow enough so it jus cant be heard.
Lil does it know I'm waitin with experience ready to put in the work.
Darin it to attempt to surprise me like I don't see it comin.
With a silent giggle held in til my glory is chucklin.
Still n quiet my heads on a slow swivel watchin it cover me.
Under the hidden moon a war is bout to rage as I breathe.
Calmin the numb that's taken control of my nerves.
As the trees shape the midnight skies into a blur.
Slick like camouflage it's as if it luvs to play this game.
Reachin for me in plain sight unseen as the wind whispers my name.
At the most vulnerable time it comes to claim its prize.
Yet I will not go down unless my body is dragged from its fight.
Pitch black darkness is the absence of light bein pushed into yesterday.
But what it fails to realize is my desire to live is simply not afraid.
Armed with will my only defeat is never to stand for self.
Cuz in my mind I know there is no heaven nor a burnin hell.
As the time has come to try n gather my bones restin as I sleep.
The fallin shadow jus doesn't know I am awake n for its blood I fein.

reachin from the chest

There's somethin in the way fingertips slide so soft. Where prints meet the skins tenderness n the heart gets lost. It's the touch do gentle it melts emotions to be reformed. Molded thru the contact shared in between the collisions reborn. To feel at its simplest stage is a connection rare to be found. As passion pours out thru words expressin sound. From a depth of bein felt with each beat that surrenders n submits. Windin up luv springin within a kiss. Sinkin deep beneath truths unable to hide what's so obviously seen. Somewhere in the middle of exchange a truce is in two bodies that lean. Wantin the need of the perfection at its best. Thumpin outta control n reachin from the chest...... I luv u Shelby Darby!

if ur gonna

If ur gonna give it to me, make sure u wanna be here.
N if u feel u wanna bounce, ur free to leave without a care.
Bottom line has no curve, I don't do obstacle coarses.
I live a more simple life, n I don't drive a Porsche.
So be damn certain u want it like I do, or you'll wind up hurtin us.
If ur gonna stand in place, imma haves ask u to have purpose.
Know I'm here not fir ur own gain, twistin a selfish clutch.
Jus dig into a man wantin ur hand, as a friend tryin to feel luv.
Don for u as if do for myself, the way its suppose to be.
So if ur gonna real, don't be afraid to open up n live free.
I'm not here to hurry to the hurt, nor wanna feel the pain.
It's a choice of a lifestyle, am somethin do much more than an emotional gain.
Be u yet not all bout self, n I can match what u out into us.
I don't like paper bags, they get wet n tear at the touch.
Rippin apart a chance to actually live, easin the twist of life.
But only if ur gonna give ur ask, I'll stay by ur side.

On ya own

On ya own. Own ya own. Know who it is u r n claim ur thrown. On ya own. All you'll ever have in this world is ya self. No matter who has said it the way they say they claim its u they help. On ya own. I have only one set of eyes that tell the truth. The only set that for self has honest use. On ya own. Who is it now u claim to be? Out in the world alone n set free. On ya own. Managin lifes twist set down inside another time. Gainin a timeless piece of mind. On ya own. Feelin luvd n wrapped as long as a friendship can last. Releasin ur mind from ur past. In ya own. Findin time has found another way to reinvent happiness. Emergin  from all the foolishness. On ya own. Fallin further from convertin n changin back into self. Acceptin what it is b.s. has dealt. On ya own. Playin with the hands of time spinnin. Trippin on the heart cuz it is ur smile thats still winnin. On ya own. Takin back the best u ever gave. Never thinkin bout who is to blame. On ya own. Feelin ur way along as if a blind man can finally see. Whisperin, it's bout time I'm free. On ya own. With an other chance to feel alive. N ur willin to step in the direction of somethin u could never hide. On ya own.

within my own mindset

Down at the bottom I'm never lookin up.
With a twist of my own twistin the life outta a mutha fuck.
I'm above the struggle standin in the way.
Cuz somehow I want to kill life's pain
passin they my veins.
On a ride of a lifetime no matter how hard time is dealt.
Straighten out the mind in a tipsy tilt.
I can't be broke nor fade away from who I am.
Starin eye to eye with ticks tryin me as a man.
No, I will never lift my head to a higher being.
Not bow to my thoughts that evade my truths cut from the string.
I'm here n nothin can break my inner insight.
On what I have runnin thru my veins never slit by the knife.
It's the way I am that drives me within my own mindset.
Diggin into feelins n decipherin thru the b.s. to find my best.
Jus gettin at my only chance to put a bounty on my heart.
Willin to live cuz I'm in luv with life's flow feulin the fires spark.
In my turn before I fall all alone n by myself.
Fadin info the end of the gift cherished deep inside as there's no help.
Goin, goin, gone, leavin the only place I'll revert call home.
As this world spins without me on its depths side provin with me it's done.

I luv u Shelby

She's bout to stand up put me on
N imma keep it all means, goin
The lost feelins comin back round
Tastin her name let loose from the mouth
Steppin I motions every needed glide
My place is in my eyes is by her side
Putin in the work cuz she knows what she wants
She sees my worth reachin for her luv
The lil ladies in this n down for me
N I'm gonna be the need that stands with her free
Vice versa in our unclaimed time
Releasin me from my fucked up mind
She's better than any I've ever known
Standin strong for the connections cause
She reminds me of the one I lost within myself
I believe in her heart I'm truly n finally felt
She's standin in place n not budgin
As conversations r never mumblin
N her mindset is set in my direction
Funny cuz I think of her intentions
Cuz I see me in her as if we're the same
Leanin towards the reality with no games
Ready for the come up of a lifetime
Drunk on the fruits plucked from the vines
She's my kinda straight forward crazy
From myself she really saved me
N stands close nuff to share air
Minglin to become a pair
It's somethin how we gave in
As the story told is released from the tip of my pen
Jus to stand in place of how its suppose to be
If time ever fell thru to the motionless side of a dream
So, damn skippy imma stand for her
Cuz she speaks without sayin a word
Touchin me in a way I need to feel
Thinkin it's bout time I found somethin real
In a woman willin to struggle by my side
For she wants to stand claimin me as mine
With it n here for all the right reasons
N yeah, she was here last season
Still standin as the same individual I met prior
If shit keeps movin I believe she'd be one I'd die for
Refusin to give up cuz she gets the fuckin point
Fillin a much desired n unfulfilled void
She's me givin me back to me as she is jus as unique
N that's jus how I see our situation standin before me in our reality

I luv u Shelby

jus cant help myself

Flippin reality over to spank its fine lil azz.
All cuz I felt like I wanted to dig in n mash.
Bout time it got fucked the only way I know how.
Clockin in with a lil ot to feel the pain as it shouts.
Risin from its own b.s. screamin my name.
All cuz it's pays to many fuckin games.
Hearin it squeal rally turns me on.
I got a thing for publishable pleasures since I was born.
N I jus can't help myself when the mofo is easy.
With every thrust pickin down it it's sleazy.
Gettin mine I I'm turnin the lil bitch out.
My way do I know it's omg comin out its mouth.
Dead set on feelin the lil two bit Fein.
As I force it to its fuckin knees.
Shoulda nit have me the opportunity to give my girth.
Callin me daddy as I choke with a grippin worth.
A lil trust settin the freak loose it it's skin.
N all I can really do us sit back n chuckle with a grin.
I was born to knock out the bottom no matter how tight nor deep.
Fillin it full as it begs n weeps.
My lil crave feedin my appetite so charishably complete.
Life is but a nut within a cheap organic dream.
Jus a lil tlc with a dose of fillin the void.

appreciation

It's ur devil I wanna tame so the demons that claim u listen up.
Ridin u of the foolishness from a childs early age of the last time u felt pure luv.
I want ur good to see how it's done as I become from behind the scenes.
Without a book nor the fear he instills within u remainin a dream.
In my clutch, gripped as it tightens on his controllin possession.
Squeezin away all passion from the imagination runnin wild in ur heads dimension.
Openin ur mind slippin behind the curtains swung shut to this world's past.
It's u I want to release from the consumption twiddlin so ur worth will last.
Strikin down the empty promises clingin to ur very own truths.
It's my time to show u how to accept life n use its unguided use.
Yet ur fairytale of bein more than alive u must recognize is a lie.
Do u have it in u to rise above a ghost in wasted space in ur thoughts n simply die?
Unafraid cuz u won't know ur there as ur body rests in place in time to come.
Appreciatin the presence here for it is the only thing in ur lungs.

It's jus one of those things

Jus a lil simple thing of tryin to reach to u thru words so emotion can be felt.
Can u feel me as vibes from my voice touch ur ears on a mature kinda tilt?
Speakin in a tongue heard so gentle yet said firm n to the point.
It's jus a lil way in the moment of tone in between u n I that's fillin a void.
Listen closely n sink into words selected from the letters that make sense.
As I drop line after line made to soothe u with truths expressed that r less tense.
So shuttle n real I'd never beat around the bush to a lil lady like yourself.
I'd jus like to know if I could be the one within u bein a tickle in ur rib as I'm felt.
Cuz my actions r backin up my word play n I'm packin more than you've ever known.
I aint sayin im a woman's gift of some sort of concededness thats eager to be shown.
Jus a lil confidence of myself stretchin in ur direction with proof I'm with it.
N it's u my eyes have connected with as my heart is followin u clinched n double fisted.
Wantin to hold on to what I've found leakin from somewhere deep of ur very own ways.
It's that presence u bring to the table as I feel so alive peekin at ur smile untamed.
N to be honest I'd like to take this all the way til time sits still for us to make a few memories.
Cuz I'm callin to u thru conversation lettin a friendship be known as if u r a piece of my own intensity.
Im feelin u like air breezin upon my skin so tender with it rolls on the skins flow.
U see its jus one if those things where I gotta have u somehow some way jus so u know. ILU!

I aint done

This world has its way of how it wants to be.
N I'm in the sideline watchin shakin my head cuz I do not agree.
Eye to eye we will never see, yet it's survival n I understand.
The man in me jus don't find the realism in actions that stand.
But here we r side by side buttin heads.
Neighbors sleepin with peekin eyes Layin in bed.
Known in of us will get the come up livin the life.
Shit! I shoulda married the bitch n made her my wife.
I wouldn't be in this b.s. surroundin my mindset.
Twistin thoughts on swivel cuz no one be trusted.
This struggle is at my fingertips n I can't strangle the mutha fucka.
Down at the bottom after controlin it like a sucka.
Guess I shoulda kept to script n posted attention n gave no trust.
But to the top hrs before long is a fuckin must.
I ain't done n it will give me mine from the blindside.
N it's doesn't matter if I become it this time.

want cha

I never knew Id luv u the way I do.
It's some kinda crazy lettin loose.
I jus wish u could crawl within me n rest for a bit.
To feel for yourself yield in the presence of the twist.
Touchin the expressions makin luv to ur life.
I'm diggin how it is u that's crossin my mind.
I aint tryin to over think the emotional process.
Im jus feeling ur name creepin upon my hopeful lips.
I'm not the one for bein sensitive n such.
I jus want cha to know I jus wanna show u done LUV.
A piece of me no one else can have cuz it's urs.
That is if u really want to feel truth in ur core.
U light up my life like a thunder storm deep in the night.
N if I can say, without sayin to much, I want cha as mine.
In a more effective way to get along n jus be.
Lil lady ur bout to see a different side if me.

Shelby

Back at it again eith the light on, n an old idea.
Circlin what I've become with a new way n a criteria.
Opened n back at luv for it's my only endless habit.
Round n round bells r diggin, oh shit, fuck dag nabit.
I'm fallin in n I can't help myself if I wanted to.
Cuz it's as real as worth standin up n givin proof.
Finally comin round my way holdin on n claimin use.
Wantin to get at where it is I'm goin, her relations has a clue.
How in the hell did I find her n become the one that holds her hand.
Standin as a friend I somehow became her man.
So here I go temptin passion to find me winnin the battle.
Turnin on old emotions as if theyve never mattered.
Shes breakin the habit of the dog within n makin room.
N it's the simple things she does that has swept me up like a broom.
I got one more go round if it's her thats diggin deep.
Putin back the pieces of the chips that have fallin away from me.
Cuz im in luv with who she is on some mature natural shit.
Findin time spent is Releasin the depths of her as my fix.
Down inside I feel life escapin into the best of dreams.
Awakenin the truth that always has made me, me.

sell out

To many mutha fuckas anymore, aint got shit to say.
Slobberin n druelin over themselves, jus tryin to make their name.
Sellin out to the game talkin what's already been said before.
Thinkin the sos gives respect when it knocks on ur fuckin door.
All I hear is beats bumpin wit weak azz lyrics, wit no vibe.
Talkin bout what u couldnt get before, cuz ur weak in ya silly rhymes.
Tap out like u did for the loot, buyin ya fames Hancock gift.
Ur a disgrace to the industry that made way for u to spit b.s.?
Where's ya head at boy, cuz that labels behind ya back, ownin u.
Only playin ur shit when u get a hit, hell there's ur proof.
Step away n find a use for ur vocals to come to life.
Ur skills come down to a pencil scribblin out thoughts outta ur empty mind.
Written for the ignorant confusions head to Bob.
Yous a sell out in so many words wit a wet fuse to ur boomless bomb.
Lemme break it down for u n ur jive azz turkey so called fans.
U ain't shit when ur depth is as bout as shallow as u r as a man.
What u don't recognise is ur puttin urself on the endless hit list.
Yet somehow u think what ur deliverin is the next best thing. Now ain't that some shit!

Tip toein the edge

Twistin wisdom tellin me I'm as crazy as illusions fadin. Behind the blinks down under the mask is the irritation that I'm slowly savin. Never slippin on lifes plan to tearin me down livin within my own damnation. Released in my own direction sippin on the minds leakin retaliation. Cheesin eyes wide with my past runnin behind lids fleein. I'm Damn near gone chasin intentions teasin the temptation lingerin. Tip toein the edge leanin away into the unknowns levitation fallin. Savin self listenin to echoes silent n badgerin my well bein. Holdin ground off balance the equilibriums dizzy from as still as I'm standin. Tryin to make it back before my restin place claims the body buried n leavin. I'm on the other side of reality reactin to truths actions written. N all imma need is the Driftin to ease the fightin within Sittin n stirrin up loose lips flippin. Loosenin a tweak bringin back the tastebuds as words cut strings danglin from the tongues drippin.

got no time

Never stuttering, tongue tied nor runnin flutterin down on my knees. I got no time for fake individuals poppin lips druelin as they leak. Spreadin b.s. round the way, straight frustratin the man inside of me. I got the games around the neck choked out n beggin please. My tummies rumblin, hungry n diggin into my fantasies. Feedin on timeless moments hoverin, bustin loose at the seems. Droppin single letters in phrases explainin so many things. Gettin at it n Putin in the work rollin up my sleeves. I got no time for simple lil nitwits in my way as I'm tryin to breathe. Callin out n havin conversations as the mirror bleeds. I'm as sane as the trigger squeezed pleadin pretty please. So if u don't wanna witness my insanity rip loose go ahead n flee. Cuz I got no time for a sanitarium that's not helpin me.

the playa talkin

Lemme out. Y u keepin bottled up. Ignorin mes only gonna ignite the fuse. I see u tryin to do the right thing but u can't avoid I'm alive inside of u. Keep it up cuz in time you'll witness me help u wind up alone in the end. The dog lives, so y lemme go to waste. It's a rare thing to have n ur not applyin the fact that luv isn't what it's cracked up to be. Playa! Wake up. Release me n let's get back at it. We grown now n knew the game better than those thinkin they know half of what we've pulled off back in the day. Till wit ur boy. I dint never got us hurt. Not once. N ever since u changed in me u looked in the mirror twice n find yourself blinkin inside tryin to see somethin more than what u say I am. I made u mutha fucka. This is not how shits suppose to be. Quit sellin out. Gets ur nuts in line. Let em bounce n stand for yourself. Ain't no female alive bout gettin at it without some silly shit makin everything u put into it come to end. Listen up. Ur on done dumb shit. Don't forget who put u on. Showed u who u were. I'm nit ur dick. He's only a pawn in our wisdom if what possible. The strikes bro. Open the gate n shine. Err were better off dippin n divin. Had our own shit. Bangin n glippin script. At the fingertips st will. N u had to go n get on some ol b.s. we got this man. Unlock the Fuckin cell u put me in. I can get u what u want. Lose the emotion it ridin on n stay true. It's who u r. I'm tight here n my patience is thinnin. Don't run outta time before u played how u know how to. Do what. Sometimes gonna get hurt. It won't be u anymore. Show skills. Ur lettin me fade.....

common grounds

Yeah I like using feelings n but don't expect me to get all over emotional n shit.
I admit I aint got time to get all tender footed n soft because of it.
Yet I dig bein felt on a level where two can act as one as long as there's common grounds.
Individuality gettin at the comfort touch the man n woman as heart beats make sound.
Jus don't think imma she'd a tear on some ol wack azz b.s. n be all sensitive.
Cuz if my eyes leak u best believe u got to me somehow n u pulled a drip loose like gravity.
Don't go changing shit up n being all sweet n speaking honey bunchie snookem bears.
Be real n show a more mature approach towards relations like u actually care.
We can go round n round bout who luvs who more n get nowhere as we waste the night away.
Or we can mute that shit n show the interest being taken her today.
I'm jus sayin to be in the middle of somethin that'll last as friends come first has my attention.
Making luv to the mind, not jus the heart n body avoiding the obvious of what it takes to never mention.
Words can only say so much as emotions over ride the right prices blinding truths.
It's not my style to overlook who it is that stands before me as I for her n her for I find a use.
It's as simple as accepting that if an other ego bends but never breaks cuz there's worth.
Without the yelling n fighting that makes nit a bit of damn sense n the final result is two birds.

fallen

At this point I'd never take ur breath away.
I'm needin u today n a bit more than yesterday.
I couldn't bare to know it be me that took the life from ur lungs.
I'm gettin close in the middle if every night in between hugs.
Held n holdin on to what ur us u bring to the table.
Openin me up n awakenin what was lost more found n able.
I jus can't picture me bein the one that kills the luv u give.
Do I'm diggin in n plantin my feet before u as w live.
Cuz round bout now I've fallen in luv with who it is u r.
N I can't hold the feelin of emotions poundin for u in my heart.
As crazy as it sounds im clingin to star dust sprinkled in ur eyes.
Peekin in on me tryin to prove to u Joe bad I want u in my life.
Presently n as tomorrow comes over the horizon to be by ur side.
Lil lady here lately n for some time to come ur a sigh.
Relief of a moment of truth for once ur here n I want u to stay.
For u as u do for me id do more than the same.
I jus want u to know who it is I am standin in front of.
N who I am givin in a way I'd cherish ur hand as precious time is to luv.
I've never seen anything like u that has crossed my path n wanted to settle in.
Do take me as I accept u as we laugh fir as long as we can feel the truths grin.
Claimin us as one, together, doin all we can to show what is real.
N I hope u knew I'd never turn on u nit shed ur worths peel.
Id jus like to make some memories that'll last that r enjoyed.
Temp yourself to let me in n watch me feel ur void.
On a serious note jus in need of a friend who stay n find the comfort.
Day in day out, doin all thats necessary tryin to hold it.
My luv Is alive n wantin u to touch how it beats when ur near.
Never blinded to who it is I see before me as I witness u do clear.
Agreein with the space that seperates us is jus to much as ur to far away.
I juts wanna relate to the vibe thumbin invisibly felt as my heart by u is tamed.
I'm here n willin to hold u up if u ever fell.
Hopin it's me you've fallen into,savin me from an endless hell.....

ticklin ur woos

Lemme relocate ur orgasm diwn between ur legs.
Vibin off my tongue like a ventriloquist givin u head.
Makin u moan n speak the way the cum comes gushin the way I like.
Realize the visualization behind ur eyes of what's been on my mind.
Drippn for the pressure breakin sound barriers down on my knees.
Get it lil lady as I got time to kill freakin u as if in a dream.
Spread em n bare ur fantasies licked n tasted touchin n teasin tastebuds.
Slurped n caressin ur sensitivity clingin to the hormonal rush.
Explodin from within with every drop like kaboom!
On release at the peek of ur situation ticklin ur woos.
Its really no thang to me reachin for the intensity in the way ur clits rubbed.
Cuz I got u covered when ur climaxin in my clutch.

threes still a fight

Damn near gone, yet not fucked in the head.
Danglin n hangin with my sanities unsafe bed.
Restless with the results of life's intense games.
The war within has been written along the way.
Dead not as of yet, so there's still a fight to be made.
N it's my ground I stomp for that's never gave.
Roundin the kids so beautifully n unique.
Wastin not a moment too shuffle my feet.
Jus a lil dazed but confusion doesn't own any real estate here.
N my best friend has always Lived in the mirror.
I can't be broken nor climb from within.
Cuz I luv bein me with my fucked up grin.
Twisted thoughts linger from time to time.
But compared to this world im a ok n doin fine.
Jus me those I chose to stand for by my side ai lean on a friend.
N ill be this way till my very own Fuckin end.

Come

Come along n drift in time comin undone.
Catchin up to the hearts emotions in the run.
Awakenin from that dead cold place from within.
Step to the line n decide where ur headed.
As a new train if that gets dolly imbedded.
Reroutin the minds happiness surfacin.
Come with me n let's get to feelings glorifyin.
Stroll with someone who gives n wants nothin but a smile.
N a bit if ur precious undivided time.
It's a choice u have to make a path worth stepped upon.
But think quick cuz the moment may be gone if u think to long.
Take a life in ur hands u can feel in ur depths.
As we dug into each other to find ever it is we can rest.
No b.s. jus a lil surrenderin ti can the nerves.
Where luv lives never to be depreciated nor
hurt.
Come n lend a hand to someone like u willin to give their all.
N watch the memories cliff the walls.
Fillin the eyes with tears if joy in moments that mean the world.
I can be ur guy if u wanna be my girl...

Finally

Finally! Somethin to expose reality.
As real as words expressed individuality.
Someone who gets the point simultaneously.
Together in different minds that work with loyalty.
Bring it the fuck on n get u somethin that isn't momentary.
True time steppin free n unconditionally.
Wakin it into what could possibly be relations havin humanity.
Grounded yet trusted to become one without gravity.
Straight forward n communicatin standin on the neck if immaturity.
It's breath takin to know its come round bout that time if unity.
Combinin strangers into friends that have a chance at a luvs opportunity.
So please, by all means release yourself upon me.

stirrin up somethin

Gathered gestures frozen on the faces wall in a pause.
Wonderin thoughts r sent down from the space in between the ears cause.
Respectfully appreciatin a friend witness to self risin to the occasion.
Splattered with expressions givin truth to the temptation.
Emotions linger within Waitin to connect to ur luvs design.
Do u know how to use relations as individuals collide in time?
Earnin moments memories r made of thru dreams dreamt r in the and path.
Layin as still as the night Clingin to what we could possibly have.
Cuz ur stirrin up somethin thats longed fir someone like u.
In a display dyin to live with the presence of what u show ur own truth.
Can u hood the line n walk on either side n down a one way street the wrong way?
Jus to get to me seekin ur hearts dance blowin in the wind as it sways.
Lil lady I'm feelin chance Standin within me Wantin to get at ur intensity.
N makin u the closest as us u claim me as mine in a different kinda reality.
Don't speak in tongues that hold no truth without the proof of my reaction.
Followin u as u walk with me with simple actions.
Spreadin smile shapin the lips puckered git the taste.
I'm comin for what I see in u never to go to waste.

Momentarily

Scars r memories of the heart that have healed.
No longer felt jus in a past tense for so else real.
Slits cut wooven like web covered by the touch.
As emotions come back from the deads clutch.
Momentarily time gave way with the best intentions.
N the mind strangled realities intervention.
Now livin in a new pace with a better life.
Roundinout the thoughts that never again will hide.
Feelins r spent with a comfort of receivin simple luv.
N comin n goin us those pushin passion away with a hug.
Pain relates to the relevance of ends unconnected n blowin in the wind.
Jus to find an otherfallin into ones very own grin.
Repeated actions til one gets it right with a special kinda patience.
Pausin momentarily in a state of hesitance.
The wounds r a reminder of what to look for.
As the learnin process has been laid out upon the floor...

endin the drought

Jus wantin someone to fight for me in between our own relations. Hopin to finally write somethin as luv lasts carryin communication. Endin the drought as truth jus easin up on the strain of individuality seperatin two as one. Needin the connection to prove a smile Up n under the moon breakin for the sun. There's a deep expression ready to surrender to the depth that drops a bomb. A new way is peekin at the horizons display ever do Fuckin calm.

im down

Down for another round, diggin into those pretty brown crystal balls speakin without sound. In for another dip, sippin on ur presense as the grip clings to lips wrestlin within a kiss. Up n under n covered, tryin to hover as a luvr that means morethan an other before I as me feelin u closer than a brother. Tastin time as it claims the mind, grindin in the mix definin whats become mine as emotions shine. Feelin the way u lean I to me, cheesin n feinin for more of ur dreams peekin in on me as ur cures well bein. Straight up n reachin for the luv, shared between the touch connectin in such a way we wind up flush..... im down! For what I've found in u, I cant pass up on as u rip me open as bein torn apart n reconstructed fells like I'm restin on a cloud. In need of Shelby to help me, findin pleasure in a please damn near beggin u to keep it as real as what I've never seen in a reality I longed to hold as I jus wanna pled...

no one's real

Friends! Wtf does the fuckin word havta do with anything? Is there really such a thing? No matter the relation, it's in the end that makes the difference. When all's said n done n two met in compliance. Luv, family, close uncounters. Relations is in the time put into the connection like a job n everyone's a subcontractor. Around til the work is done n then that's, that. Crisp lips can't even consume the patience put in to what's considered what's becoming the past. How in the fuck can anyone ever go the distance if those trying cant find one an other? Rearranging the mindset made for defeat to concur expressions turning inward on self as the only true friend no longer recognizes a brother, mother, child or an undercover luv'r. So many r caught up with the rest of the population that could never care giving less. Needing someone real to crack a smile n give for once n resurrect that joy lost a ones best. Is there a such a thing as a moment that won't wind up an empty memory fading behind the eyes. Who in the fuck thought this shit up n thought it was cool to try n disable the mind? It's crippling knowing it's one against the world at the end if a long azz day. Cuz no one's real enough to put self aside so a lil truth can show how self in some kinda sense is wanted to stay. It's like a fucking drug for everyone's on the same fucking boat dining into a society plagued with righteous selfishness left on the backburner burnt. N to eat the blackened char is lifes way of saying come get what were not worth. Funny!

ur very own home

Here's a place for ur luv to reside.
To ease back n relax as it needs never to hide.
My heart is ur very own home.
N only u can come n go as actions r shown.
Opening n closing emotional doors.
Come on in n settle down as feelings r poured.
Take the temptation givin to hold ur hand.
No matter what thru the thick n thin as a man.
Become with me what we r all looking for.
Touch my inner walls n caress what's urs.
Standing amongst this world as friends.
N hope we can make it til time gives in.
Filling the silence with conversations.
As a fein excels past the flirtation.
Finding trust n loyalty.
Living in plain sights reality.
As perfect as we can be with imperfections.
Deciphering who's for our causes implication.
Pain doesnt live here where I linger.
Jus pleasure released from the fingers.
As comfort tickles smiles communication.
Becoming as close as devotions realization.
I'm only wanting to be felt by u.
Giving self up for ur own personal use.
Answering questions without saying a word.
Knowing we both r being heard....

when it's over

It's when u can't feel a thing.
When the feeling fades from the sting.
Unable to find the pain.
N u touch a lil piece of wharf is sane.
After falling its luv.
As what's unrecognizable is touch.
Shaking the head cuz nothing's left.
Knowing one gave their best.
When the loneliness has gone.
As new birth has risen to old songs.
That's when it's over.
N u don't care to hold him or her.
Once the process has taken place.
Finding where one once lived ids jus effort space.
For the truth of fighting for luv has bounced back.
N if all things u managed to live thru the heart bein attacked.
Knowing better things r ti come with a new outlook.
N self wasn't broken nor took.
Leaving in the past what was never ones to claim.
No luv left as there is no hate.
Jus two people that one shared a moment.
As its ok that it finally folded.
Playing out a self stands a bit more crisp.
N hand have been unclinched as fists.
That's when the getting on has resurrected a smile.
Locking up the memory n walking away for what is to come is miles....
    It's time to move on! As one is goin.

crazy legs

Born again, yet how many times will it take?
U got crazy legs n every now n then u escape.
Runnin without reason n y I have no idea.
All I can say is wtf, mommamia.
The blame is all mine, I guess cuz I shoulda known.
I knew better than to do what could never be done as I was owned.
Expectin u to be different when I knew u was Fuckin fake.
I shoulda cut strings when I felt the first break.
Wish u coulda felt it the way I did.
Then again I'd still be locked up in ur world so fuck that shit!
It was the motions used anchored deep in my heart.
From the most precious place in me doin more than my part.
The shame though I can not accept.
U gambled me away when u placed ur selfish bet.
Time was all I had to give with a patient pure luv.
Thru it all u did nothin but push me with a shove.
As words released u twisted needed the sound of ur name.
Reshapin my lips into someone else's that I hope remains the same.
Though, I damn sure did wanna be the one u could count on.
Yet thanx to u times have changed n ur so fucked up with ur ways n doins.
U see the friend I thought I had faked a grin.
As I opened up for u to reach up under my skin.
But Im up n runnin now with my own crazy legs.
I let go if all the retarded b.s. n endless hate.
Feelin a different kinda woman now n that's somehow still there.
She's the kind that actually truly Fuckin cares.
Here with me n fillin the space so fuckin good.
Replacin the feelins in which u took.

Jus sayin im smilin n enjoyin my time.
Losin expressions in words with every line.

Cant say im mad nor broken hearted either.
Cuz u allowed a degenerate to plug ur beaver.

Nah, I didnt lose somethin I never had.
Jus lost myself n for me that is what's really sad.

Can u say better off without u draggin me down?
Poppin ur pills behind my back n pretendin everything's ok when I turned around.

Sad story bout a couple of old friends that could made it huh?
But one of us two jus had to have a lil to much fun.

Yeah, im past the release point with ur silliness.
I've done gone n found me some happiness.
So heres to the me u knew that u put to rest for urs truly.
N for all the times u sucked n blew me.
Cuz I had better head u Fuckin hoe.

Take it how u want it, ya know!
Like a dick jus to get high to feel ur fix!

But it ain't like you to take the time to read this shit.

Never gave two fucks but anyone but self anyways.
Now look at ur livin conditions everyday.

Wait, imma stop cuz I don't wanna clown on u n go tell a bunch of lies.
I got better things to do with my undivided time.

Im jus gonna go bout my way with a new set of crazy legs n live again.
Havin morals n respect for self as I reclaim the man I am.

So yeah, have fun livin it up before ur smile runs out.
Cuz u ain't shit without it while ur runnin ur mouth.
But here's to if u ever gave two rats asses bout me!

F.U! I don't ever wanna know cuz now I'm free.

to hear him say it

He said once upon a time luv was real.
Findin n acceptin truths once he healed.
Back when he thought he had luvs will.
It was done time ago when he lost that thrill.
He says he stood as a man for the greater cause.
Not for him but for her to realize get own flaws.
His words r straight n forward to the point.
N to hear him say it, he wasn't enough to fill the void.
Somehow he figured a way to come alive sort of speak.
Figuratively speakin he says he lived in his knees.
Jus for her to witness the friend here tried to be.
Leavin her in the past as a lost dream.
He claims his luv for her was unconditional.
As he rose to the occasion jus to fall.
Deep emotions crawled thru his passion.
As the pain slowly took control the lack of interaction.
Done time ago he fought for her hand.
N became as he says, one hell of a man.
Shown character in truce he skipped away.
Tellin his story to himself at dawns break.
Comforted by an other that's more than a friend.
N if u seen a man ever step to the plate.
U best believe this one barely escaped.
Thanx to someone who showed him the damndist thing.
Honesty they actions us what she brings.
Awakening who gee it's n was all along.
As he tells it, finally somewhere he belongs.

feel a man feelin ur rush

Put my luv in ur hands.
N for once, feel a man.
I'm not like what you've known.
Jus been round town.
Tryin to find my way.
N no one seems to wanna stay.
Hold what I am.
Cuz what u don't know is I can.
N im willin n able.
I bring truths to the table.
A bit old school with a new twist.
Lemme land on ur lips.
Taste a drip that'll never lie.
The flavor of my luv is my life.
Reachin for a touch to please.
Without an empty tease.
Grab grip n let me settle in.
Or let me pass as me u don't get.
Cuz till now u n I haven't had this chance.
N right now I'm jus a glance.
Peekin back interested enough to speak.
Jus Wantin a moment to leak.
N pour out a fee voice words.
Hopin emotions can still learn.
To accept a friend in the makin.
Cuz there's somethin bout how u bend.
Wantin me as I do u.
Yeah, im fallin in luv with u!
N im wantin to feel more of u everyday.
I'm here too stay.
If that's what you'd like for me to do.
All that's needed is ur truths.
So feel me lean in so snug.
I only want to be luvd.
To be there for u jus to see u smile.
Jus gimme a lil bit of time.
I'm down for ur cause to simply live.
As life comes round to give.
Memories a chance to be made.
N then with u I wanna make.
Opened n willin to be felt.
Givin more than jus average help.
I'm lookin to dig into ur luv.
Shelby Lee, I'm feelin ur rush.

Healed in truths

Infected by lies. Consumed by the blind.
Reflections claim memories. Loose lipped enemies.
Achin emotions. On reversed ends.
Tradin in moments. Creased n folded.
Left in time. For truths had to hide.
Wronged for pleasure. Yet touched like a feather.
Selfishly twisted. N so fuckin insisted.
Games turned to loss. Reality shows flaws.
As ugly as the truth. An other had no use.
Walkin lips zipped. Landin arms lift.
Newly felt worth. Avoidin bein hurt.
Healed in truths. Facin purposes proof.
Head spinnin round. Hearin voices sound.
Tenderly real replacin theft. Endurin best?
Whisperin wtf is this? It's everything ever missed.
Off balanced to stable. N very able?
Ooh, here's the kicker. I'm in luv with her.
Mind crossin the possibility. Heart picked from its knees.
Pluckin thorns n kissin wounds. Evictin memories makin room.
Givin what's willin. Selfs calmly acceptin.
This could be it? What? Shut the fuck up!
Times changin coarse. My turn for a cure?
It's not time to live is it? Swappin real spit!
Kissin a face enjoyin me. On me one leans?
Patchin holes dug into the minds walls. Pause!


Damn! Let me stand back up as the man I truly am.

clarifyin the now

Doubled down pushin the ground abruptly away.
Upward in reverse, standin with knuckles scrapped.
Diggin the gravel from wounds beneath eyesight.
Clearin the minds thoughts decipherin what's mine.
Drippin red, the hearts bled enough for the cause.
Keepin to the script, calmin the nerves sensitive impulse.
Shakin off the dirt smeared in by the muds moisture.
Upright n facin the daybreak reachin for skins clawed texture.
Back to one, missin who it was I became that got lost.
Openin reality to the visual entertainment removin its draws.
Jus clarifyin the now makin strength earned n kept.
Never fragile, chips of stone r scars engraved as the mind slept.
Claimin stupidity, secrets r saved n hushed to be forgotten.
So self is never motionless layin to the endless waste, rotten.

a member of the heart

Fallin in, rollin n comin back up.
Gaspin for air after bein strangled by luv.
Comin from up n under a criplin touch.
Findin self is the only truth so blunt.
Moments pass n time fades.
Lookin for someone to wanna stay.
A hand do gentle that pulls me from within.
Someone who its actually a friend.
Feelin my name released from their lips.
With an appreciation for I'm what they've wished.
Taken in n treated as if a member of the heart.
As I have the key to their very own bars.
Unleashin what I release from honest emotion.
A luv lives without corruption.....

kisses press

In the softness felt thru contact, emotion exists.
Touched thru the skins layers, n upon the lips.
Pullin expressions n fillin the feelin of truth.
Openin trusts unguided will bein put to use.
Mouths shape happinesses comfortin teal time.
Claimin the emotions spent as a rare find.
Tender n pure kisses press the endless motion.
Glidin with the tickle of the tongues devotion.
To taste the honesty locked in that consumes.
Findin in the heart there's more than enough room.
Makin waves as saliva crashes on their surface.
Givin texture a feel to causes purpose....

a final goodbye

U changed on me.
I was never given a chance.
As if the season changed.
With the chill of winters dance.
Yet im good cuz u were never a friend.
No matter how patient I was.
Distance grew without reason.
But Im ok even thou I thought it was luv.
Its jus a final goodbye is all.
A moment of truth within self.
Regrouped n knowin I dont want u.
N its no longer sad the way ur not felt.
I remember how strong it consumed.
The expressions used were real.
All for the sake to show u a friend.
Yet its u I no longer feel.
U failed me on levels unmentionable.
N what youve become isnt who I thaught.
My reality woke up n broke my heart.
Once upon a time ago I gave u applause.
Followed by hands that washed away ur touch.
Somethin so weird happened over time.
U got lost within as I couldnt find u.
N the result is played out in this rhyme.
I for one stood ground for the better of u.
Never selfish n im happy without ur games.
This is a final goodbye never to write for u again.
Cuz I wasnt the one who fuckin changed.
Goodbye, for ive fallen for an other u shoulda been.
There was no room for me in ur heart so I gave.
No more b.s. that jus wouldn't end.
Jus me fixin what u broke n fillin luvs space.
Somethin u could never find a moment to do.
So if u ever realize how much u luv me.
Please don't ever let me hear u speak of it.
Ur chance expired of me tryin to fulfill my dreams.
I did what I knew how to do.
N I was there for someone who looked thru truth.
There is no luv left to give for an other gave self.
N unlike u she's earned her place n found in me use.
Jus a final goodbye to let be known an end that came to soon.
Yet I will never complain cuz I am wanted for once.
So do u n live that life style u needed so bad.
I belong to someone else under the moon n Sun.

thanx

Thanx for not bein a real friend.
Thanx for givin up before the end.
Thanx for always bein there.
Thanx for how truly u cared.
Thanx for fightin for oyr luv.
Thanx for feelin an other flush.
Thanx for wastin my fuckin time
Thanx for showin me u were never mine.
Thanx.......    I thought I had it.
But u were on some bullshit.
Thanx.......    Im in  better place.
Jus sad that its not ur face.
Thanx for pushin me away.
Thanx for takin fir granted what I gave
Thanx for the lessons u taught.
Thanx for leavin me standin in a pause.
Thanx for no matter whats lie.
Thanx for the memiries stopped in time.
Thanx for doin u the only way u know how.
Thanx for walkin away somehow.
Thanx.......    I got somethin in my life.
Jus had to make thru u as my wife.
Thanx.......    Im happy now that ur gone.
With tge understandin u were never the one.

I was there....

I wasnt doin much, jus sittin there.
Life changed in the blink of an eye from outta nowhere.
I use to think it was the greatest thing ever.
Prolly shoulda jus kept to the script n said never.
From the way memories broke down I did become a better man.
Yet still, from get go I was taught a lesson in the way I stand.
From the beginning lemme tell ya, I was a gonner.
Thinkin back I wish I woulda stayed a loner.
Shit jus flipped n before I knew it, bam!
Now here I am now with a new stance.
As if a dream sorta speak if u know what I mean.
Yet, with a rearrangement where nothin was what it seemed.
Crushed, I felt a loss but according to the gain I felt I knew what it be.
Guess life jus dropped outta something that meant something only to me.
Shit was different back then when I had my nuts.
I got twisted putting someone before myself n got fucked.
Emotions went from living to madly in luv to frustration.
Playing out to standing alone after being there fir an others irritation.
Blinded I luvd unconditionally till the bitter end.
All to show thus I've in me had a real friend.
Y shit went sideways was due to a habit.
The wasn't any way I could ever had it.
Never mind so never mind to the thought of a lifetime playing out.
She's mixed fir an eternity even words can't express luv released from the mouth.
The heart failed to realize I to needed comfort in which I hadn't received.
Jus left looking up down upon my knees.
Standing along side an other I thought I knew they'd have my back.
Never turning on me so many times si was attacked.
Attached I craved the completion that wasn't fulfilled.
Somehow someone special lost passions thrill.
There may never be an other to have that purpose I felt.
But a long as I live I'll never want her hand my intentions won't need her help.
I remember the truths I gave that meant nothing to someone I stood for.
Opened up n showed the honesty in my untamed core.
Pure will to enjoy what's rare in this world I was there.
Jus goes to show when u open yourself to hidden secrets n feelings r barred.
Nothing will come from the heart that means a fucking thing.
Cuz selfish behavior claims the weak giving with a razored sting.

loosened for the cure

Bun out till the end.
Never fadin n bent.
Ridin the horns with a grip.
Mingled in the mix.
From beginnin to the end.
Burn ready as a gent.
Speakin from firm lips.
Soft enough to kiss.
Without reason for the ko punch.
Givin more then so much.
In for the long haul.
I can't seem to stall.
Confident cuz I know me.
Loosened for the cure.
Wantin somethin pure.
Real to the final finish.
Games have been banished.
In the middle of yours truly.
Come live n jus be.

I hope u read this one day

Everyday I must learn to let go.
The ache n the pain I dont wanna hold.
Some how though its all thats left leakin from my heart.
U jus dint know how fuckin bad ive luvd u from the start.
N the truth is I miss u so much.
Its jus the way we use to lay madly in luv.
Nothin will ever have that kinda emotion.
No one will ever get that kinda devotion.
U were the the one I gave my all.
But now its round bout that time to move on.
Its the saddest thing  ive ever known.
Bein left with this void as my hearts on loan.
Healin cuz an other is more of a friend.
I jus thought it was us til the end.
Yet shit got bent n broken cyz u gave up.
I dont think u realize how bad I was crushed.
Its always been u in my dreams.
N to live without u has become a reality.
After walkin next to u I will never be the same.
Thinkin back when we narried n legally u had my name.
Guess I gotta learn it jus didn't mean the expressions u used.
Cuz right now im the one still wantin my truths.
Opened n willin no matter what.
Seems though u had to go n fall outta pure luv.
Its ok as long as ur happy with the life u choose.
My loss is the way loose on the way I lost u.
Yet I gave everything I could possibly give.
Jus to see if it was me to help ur smile live.
I think im suppose to say goodbye at this point.
In this moment of realization of luvn u is void.
So here I go as my last words die slippin out unheard.
AILOWY1! Its come to this for over is my turn.
Jus remember it was my fault n imma think bout u everyday.
This thingy within me will never fade n wanted u to stay.
I gotta go, u forced me to find our comfort in someone else.
So til we meet again, don't forget my touch will always need ur help.
.... ilu1! Is that what u wanna hear?
Nah, im done with a smile from ear to ear.
So don't think ur wanted in time.
U had ur chance to claim me as ur very own mine!

movin on gettin

Saved by a moment that wasnt to late.
In the nick of time it came before the hate.
Walkin away was the best thing happenin.
N I thought a life without would be so saddenin.
Alive im standin with whats been earned.
Lessons of how to be self within characters turn.
Livin with the comfort of a new ways direction.
I never thought it be possible to make the correction.
Fuckin amazin is a feelin of self findin that ease.
Discribin smiles showin the movin on gettin on off the knees.
As real as understandin has givin reason claimin the now.
Im ridin out n steppin on softer more enjoyable grounds.

as if I was felt

Did u feel the loss of lisin me when u threw me away? Where did I ever fit into emotions when shit broke down furhter everyday. When u gave up as if I wasnt worth livin life with, how was I felt when the games were played? Was I missed when I wouldnt go away cuz I cared or was I a an irritation that wanted to stay? How is it u lost sight of me when it was me standin in the middle of luv fightin for ur hand to behave? Am I suppose ti believe u thought of me everyday as u accepted an other dude to replace me so easily as u strayed? How in the fuck can u say u have always luvd me when u did what u did n I was left facin life afraid. Diggin deep as u had ur fun cuz I was never good enough off rip n now im the way. Im not comprehendin nor understand how someone can purposely destroy somethin so pure n rare n then turn round n want it as if they deserve it after the pain. Please help me cuz im not feedin into bein hurt as I once was by how u claimed to luv in a way its always been me u yourself gave. When we both know the truths of y our hardship has happened n y its hard for me to believe the way u speak for idk if this luv can be saved. When was I truly felt when u decided from get go never to be real with me as if I was a lame? Cuz the saddest thing ever would be lettin go of how I feel for u cuz I have nothin real in over three yrs to go on n its u that changed ur face.

left

Starin at the memories left in the mind.
This road has become a test of time.
As the heart alone will never let go.
Of a friend in moments that went so slow.
Images remain behind thoughts left.
Somehow things came round now felt.
Its the memory that aches walkin solo.
Things play out from a season so cold.
Diggin in to what remains as a friend.
Left in the depths til the inevitable end.
Seems to be touched is somethin special.
N all anyone can do is cope with the mental.
Guess times unfair n we jus cant have it all.
People come n go n friends fall.
After sharin days that made a difference.
As to hold on needs to be an alliance.
Findin a place deep within the confort shared.
N its left wantin the emotion that cared.

unfulfilled

Sayin all there is to be said.
Leavin dead echos in an empty head.
Transformin what has become.
Into a confused state of mind gone numb.
Livin within the shadows of thoughts.
Hidin from the emotional wants.
Scared to look into eyes that care.
Unable n unprepared.
Time has lost sides of luvs gain.
Sittin motionless as feelin isnt the same.
In a trans of simply left alone.
Not knowin which way to go.
The caved in heart has collapsed.
Jus needin what one that they had.
Movements dont seem to even wanna try.
N thinkin brings tears to the eyes that cry.
Lil patience linger in hope.
Yet it doesnt help to bother to cope.
Its jus the loss of pure unjustified depths.
That came to life as self was swept.
Away n never given a real chance.
To walk aside in a blinded glance.
Theres nothin more to say anymore.
Jus gotta find a home for the cure.
Not speakin of how it feels.
Brings fourth a sense of the unfulfilled.
Livin n breathin jus goin with lifes will.
Runnin from anyone that touches the thrill.
Waitin on that hand thatll only do.
But how long can one actually ooze?
Before the inevitable apears in the unseen mirror.
Shuttin down even on the lonely fear...

like the window

I remember sittin in bed listenin to this song that repeated in my head.
N I felt the pain squeeze tears from my eyes as I felt an end to the hype.
Well before she turned on me in another day for the final time for her own ways.
It was a harsh reality I faced comin from a friend I wanted to see breathe.
As free as the poluted air in her lungs n tge candy she ate.
I sat a man defeated by other than what it was truly I gave.
Yet as still as I was motionless there was nothin I could do to change the b.s.
I jus think back n visualize a blinded fool that luv existed in the mix.
N as the piano played I knew a nemory would come from the life she lived.
Idk how many times I asked her no to leave me outta pure luv she wasnt willin to give.
Countless hrs were spent tryin to communi catw with even myself.
Yet its was comin n I hadnt a thing I could do to help.
I jus wasnt enough when I stood next to her as she blew like the wind.
She really fucked up my grin.

Patrick Swayze... shes like the wind.

I guess

Like the flat line screamin til the plug is pulled.
I guess this is the end of the show for sure.
Nothin sadder than a luv so pure gone to waste.
But it wasnt my actions y we wound up like this.
Its an emotion im gonna miss n that's no lie.
Jus wish u coulda seen me before the end of our time.
THE ANGERS faded as if it jus dont matter anymore.
My thought is I jus wasnt enough n u wanted more.
Yet I was the total package that stood by ur side.
N u did e erything u could to destroy all possibilities in my mind
Its crazy to think of life without u.
But its jus one of those things where u gave ti much abuse.
U,u dont do much as its settled in n im lookin out at a world I no longer wanna face.
Cuz alone ill feel til my dyin inevitable day.
Y u did what u did ripped us from luv for drugs.
N its a cryin shame we cant find each other with kisses n hugs.
Forever torn from the one I choose is the way ill live my life.
Cuz u never truly knew y I wanted u as my very own wife.
But its cool the way u jus gave up as I stood still.
Standin with luv drippin in my hands losin its thrill.
Yeah, its s void I cant seem to come to terms with.
N idk y im not worth the ecpressions I spit.
Must be u coulda never luvd me the way u say u did.
I guess butchie is jus a memory to mandy as when we were kids.
I was there in the struggle givin my all for u.
N what hurts the most is how u could jus walk away without me a use.
U forced me away so I wouldnt see who u were to become.
Cuz u knew I wouldnt have any part of that life goin numb.
It was foolish of u to put us thru the pain n the hurt.
Cuz now I sit in wonder if luv was really meant thru words.

touch

Touch. As soft as it gets rough excites me thru fingertips that slide in a caressin tease grippin with the pain pleasin me that keeps me on my knees. Forcin the need to feel what's real as contact gently turns into passions fire rippin lose thru touch fallin madly in luv as fantasies r plucked from dreams. Landin flush as bodies connect n rub in sweat inspectin to be felt as emotions r dealt with the ease acceleratin into a ragin act of wants pleeds. Begs becomin demands as two open up in a moment holdin the gift long enough to enjoy blush turnin into all out straps, restraints n chokin with a side of truth escapin the english language n movement seen.

Written in stitches so wounds can heal into scars.
Hopin I dont awaken tomorrow to pray to false idols amongst the stars.

please help me understand

What is it in me u say u dont wanna lose?
Cuz im fightin a battle in which there is no proof.
Sittin round waitin on good times to come back again.
When all I see is vibrations from words tearin me apart as a man.
So tell me, y me of all pepole do u decide to rip into shreds?
Cuz I dont deserve the lonely abuse n empty promises left in my head.
Im havin a hard time believin that im am the one.
The only thing I hear is a tone callin as the rest of u is on the run.
Please help me understand the complications u force upon me.
Cuz ill never get how luv could destroy what I bring.
Tell me how it is u think youve awoken to the need of my face.
Cuz im lost n direction is a triangle where the compass' way is erased.
U gotta understand what it is u did to me.
N y I shake on the thought of havin u in my dreams.
Can the truth be heard if spoken after so many lies?
Im jus askin cuz I havent quite got u off my mind.
Its jus the details u leave behind that mske me wonder.
Is this a game in which u r the hunter?

tears of joy

Lets go to war.
Bounce off the walls to the floor.
Bring hell!
Let shit fly n blood spill.
Makin the battle worth the fight.
N then see if we can get at life.
Findin a truce.
Cuz hard times give proof.
Yeah I wanna see what luv is.
To witness u help fix shit.
Cuz without the pain.
The pleasures nothin but vain.
Complete the fuckin package.
N stand stand in hand with matches.
Havin to decide.
Is this shit worth the ride?
All or nothin.
Even with the cussin.
Its what's makes tears of joy.
Feelin emotions void.
Come get at the struggle.
Make life with me n cuddle.
Swiingin with opened arms.
U cant have luv if the heart hasnt been chard.
It gives reason of missin out.
We can show each other how.
Til the death of luv or knowin what we got.
Cuz my luv for u hits the spot!

Lettin shit rip loose to release the anguish thru the english language that helps soothe the feed.
The unwanted dream screams names in the mirror in which causes the undone to see me.
Hidden from sight vision til light reflects my image n im fightin self peekin in anger.

come tomorrow

By the time tomorrow pops over the edges of earth.
My luv will appear before u to stand as urs with a smile that curves.
I feel it comin as the night reaches for this day to rest.
Comin from within itll probably explode on ur touches best.
Its been buildin since weve started n drives me into ur arms.
N to wait for the sunset to ease my pain of ur absence is to much.
Rollin past the midnight hr with patience of day break cuz I fallin in luv.
Ticks of seconds at this point feel like decades gettin lost.
N all ive ever wanted was someone real in my life as the sunrise rests on u so soft.
So when the contact redeems the pleasure put on pause.
Jus know only u can repair a man wastin away on the run
I'm findin a completion thats missin for thats what youve become.

enough

Y do u havta ask u to hold on.
When as natural as it gets should come fourth.
I got thus feelin like I jus wasnt enough.
Yet I gave my all ti sit aline with luv.
I was there as u ledt me standin confused.
Ur that one id never thought id lose.
So y is it u didnt see me at all.
N u firgot who I am as I called out ur name.
U didnt wanna make it last n idky.
N matter what still wants u in my life.
Even after the change has focused on u as my wife.
How could u jus s throw me away like that.
N watch me come undone not bein able to see ur face.
Is it u jus didnt care enough to try jus once.
Cuz im torn in the way I stand n under the gun.
Facin reality of turnin away or comin home.
Luv I jus dont know if I am the one.
U gave up after the emotions was shared.
In the middle of my all bein bared.
N I cant help but to feel I jus wasnt enough.
For u to give n prove to me ur madly in luv.
Isnt that ebat u meant when u said u dont know what youd do without me.
Yet I crumble n u smiled as I landed on my knees.
Forced to find my way in wonder if u even thought bout me.
Beggin to the walls daily please, please, please.

selfish

I havent forgotten how I got these fuckin scars.
 N how I was broken in my restless heart.
Nah, I remember n feel it in ur face.
 Everytime I peek at ur selfish games.
Foolish was a man to have let u rip shit apart.
Yet I needed u to act out in a displayed art.
But hate u I dont for some odd reason.
 Even though u change ur mind on like seasons.
Here today n its good for a while.
 Then u flip out n im walkin on wires.
Yeah, I think ive seen it all standin next to u.
 Everything but luv me in honest truth.
What u did was an act of selfish violence.
 N I sit motionless n alone with my silence.
Waitin to witness if ur best will ever appear.
 As a friend furst it is u I truly havta fear.

leadin the mislead

Confidence without arrogance is sn action spoken behind wrods so rarely used.
Teachin the gullible a more suitable way shown by simply givin a truce aside the proof.
Leadin the mislead curruption if sn others mind state thats seen n been thru to much.
Openin doors as the hearts floor is swept clean n luv shines the surfaces misused truth.
Layin to rest the disadvantage damaged by time along the course of relations past.
Standin firm n in character of landin deep in emotional gain that jus might last.
Correcting what has happened before a gentle hand guides the saddened thoughts the plague.
Its an interest of willingness that no matter what, happiness is shared n is here to stay.

special kinda fool

If I were to. If I did. Maybe touch that secret within me. Jus allow it to live. Is the line enough. Possibly longer that I thought. What if I opened up. Would emotions luv soft? Lets say I felt u still. Like I never gave up. Where would that leave me? Cuz once before I was crushed. So what the odds. The outcome of the chance. At all costs. Is friend finally ready not lost? If I turned me inside out. Bared all truth. Would I be a soecial kinda fool. Or am I worth bein put to use. Think before answers r spoken. Words we can not retract. Somethin we both know for sure. Now act as I react.

have u faced reality

R u ready?
If all hell would break loose.
If time wasnt on Ur side.
N the calapse fell thru.
Blinded by the hate.
Opened to the crumble.
R u able to stand?
N be more than humble.
Hidin in the shadows.
Lingerin in the dark.
Dancin in the misunderstood.
Could u feel ur heart?
Pumpin n fightin for survival.
Losin ground with impatience.
Frustrated n yellinn in the midnight hr.
Jus to feel normals radiance.
Can ya endure the pain.
Rippin loose n unstable.
Deep inside comin fourth.
R u able?
Under the chests cavity.
For a chance to calm the nerve.
Smilin n disturbed.
Emptyin the hurt.
Ragin from ur secrets within.
Angered by the restless b.s.
Twisted cuz no one cares.
Findin piece in uselessness.
R u as fucked as I am?
Mentally unchangeable.
Releasin the furies pleasure.
Yeah! Jus so fuckin intolerable.
Have u faced reality?
As the mirror looks away.
Hahahahahahahaha.
Can u face the insane?
Comin outta ur humanity.
Locked in ur own vault.
Screamin for a way.
Acceptin its not ur fault..........

jus an individual

Its not that im tryin to be different.
Nor do I need the pain n struggle to be a memories want.
I dont wanna lose any more friends.
The kind that hang around til the end.
Im not bein me jus to be invisible.
Yet I dont wanna stand out n be invincible.
Havin my world fall down around me is enough.
Findin answers in the rubble of dust.
Lookin up n no gods present to hear me cry.
Im not the type to cave but im not tryin to hide.
Im thinkin fuck it n im wastin time.
But if I dont care, what's gonna happen to mine?
N who isnt tired of the way this world works?
Name one that's happy by bein a tasteless burp.
No, im not somethin youve never seen.
Jus an individual that actually speaks.

change of pace

All out n spread, I haveny got anything new left to say.
Bout that time to under go a change of pace.
Redirect the chais n ease back outta my own ways.
Im dine diggin for I know whom it is I am unafraid.
Ive been pushin me out for so long I cant remember anything else.
I belive its time to relocate my mind in the presence with self.
Im opened enough to know me n I get the point.
For the words released I feel movin my joints.
So heres to me sesrchin a different aspect to gain my sanity back.
But ill be back cuz this is not a thing if the past...

closer than contact

Lets blind one an other by closin the door n turnin off the lights.
Feelin our way around beneath the sheets n under the night.
Jus express thru movement of truth comin out to play.
Droppin whispers in the ear so soft nerves ease as theyre tamed.
Gettin closer than contact meetin passions surface comin to life.
Givin proof of y I became ur husband n u my wife.
Leanin into the cofort of what is shared in between only us.
Pressin air to the side until we r completely flush.
Feelin to be felt as touch crawls thru our deservin hearts.
Undermindin the guidlines n fallin into one an other n truly apart.
Definin the design in which friends were meant to be.
Side by side, front to back n live as one so freed.
With a knowin of a single graze sets us apart in our moment together.
Makin damn sure its u n I thatll last forever.
So intament innocence reaches in a need to cling.
Enjoyin the presence of the in which we share a ring.

shapin lifes desires

Stickin to the mud as if a child playin in the rain.
Keepin that truth alive n tryin to maintain.
Like a new born doe out frolickin free.
Lookin at the horizon chasin dreams.
Temptin time to set aside a moment to live.
Hopin I never lose that innocent mind width.
Shapin lifes desires to that of my very own.
Day in day out feelin what it is to be known.
Walkin in puddles n splashin in good fun.
Every step with purpose of how I to can luv.
With a smile that can not break for it is mine.
Laughin cuz its not so serious is how I reside.
Doin me like I always have for its who I am.
Growin to be one day a respectable man.

playin stop

Playin with my heart n messin with my mind.
Stop twistin me inside n fuckin up my life.
Where I stood is no where near where I stand.
Imma give it to u straight n ill be damned .
Ticklin my emotions n runnin away?
Kissin me softly n turnin ur cheek as if its ok.
Quit comin n goin lookin out for self.
Cuz ive been there for u n will I can not help.
U forced the hand that lent a heart to step.
Cuz for u in my life I fell as u slept.
As pure as luv could crawl from within.
Yeah, I can finally smell ur stench.
Rotten n rollin with a grin u clown.
Yet we both know the truths u play down.
Flippin script out for selfs interest.
Who you have become I can not miss.
Jus a figment fragmented in a dreams to waste.
Time is to precious to buy into ur ways.
I'm this way do go to ur own distant world.
I'm here in reality n for once ur not my girl.
Ur playground is the only thing u understand.
Do go, playin stop isn't for this man.
Down to the nitty gritty I walked the line.
N now it's time for me to again do mine.
How u did me was want right by far.
So face the very presence as hearts r chard.
Bye bye now, if luv to believe it was nice.
But on the thought I will never think twice.
Worth the time I wish I woulda never gave.
Cuz it was Butchie by Mandy that never once stayed.

u got it in ya

Run with this n dont get scared.
Fuck bein careful or even bein prepared.
Jus do ur thang n find where it leads.
Break me of n do as u please.
Get with it n show ur ass.
Urself n jus lemme grab dat gap.
Feel urself n come the fuck to life
Lemme witness ur best before my eyes.
Loose n with it playin a foolish game.
Windin up wherever we land dinr be affraid
Careless n wreckless livin alive.
True self niw, dont u dare hide.
Undercover blown n showin out.
Come on now n show me what ur about.
Where u at n can u handle bein free?
Cuz im jus doin what I do bein me.
With a smile n a grin chirpy as hell.
Damn, damn, damn, well, well, well.
I know u got it in ya to do it right.
So stop half steppin n get at life.

play me

Grind me down n work me over.
Move with temptations as a luvr.
Play me into ur seductive ways.
Arousin my anatomys wiith ur game.
With bedroom eyes that tease.
Make my taste tester wanna please.
Allow ur curves to sway before my eyes.
N become the only thing on my mind.
Display ur vulgar attempt to get to me.
Like the freak u wanna release so free.
Get to ur sexuality n open up.
With a movement so erotic I need the touch.
Raise ur bar of willingness to turn me on.
Doin things u hide within deep in ur core.
Grabbin my attention n shape ur image.
Climb inside my mind n stimulate the gain.
Pasionately swayin as u awaken my hormones.
Dyin to witness the truths u control.
Actin out ur dirty lil secrets u crave to be.
N watch how u bring out the real man in me.

what u dont know

Drippin as u stand reachin for me neck.
Fully clothed reachin for my belts best.
Unbuckled n touchin my crazy ways.
Tryin to get me to come inglued n play.
Gurl what u dont know is ur my sanity.
The way u pull me from within, tamin me.
U got that groove my playful side needs.
N quietly spoken ur my fantasies dream.
Bitin ur lip n comin on strong the way u do.
Has the man in me loosinen up to ur groove.
Smilin with horns this is one of those lifes.
Jus gettin it n goin where only we can test time.
But what u dont know is how u do it for me.
U drive me into the nights selfish need.
Cuz I crave to bring ur misbehavin to use.
So as u please, roll with me n get loose.
As sexy as u can being fourth ur wants.
Imma fulfill ur desires callin beneath luv.
Showin its face in ur eyes with that stare.
Makin me fall forward into u so bared.
N what u dont know is how u do what u do.
Awakens the life in me jus wantin to touch u.
Alone n in the dark hldin nothin back.
Jus givin my own for as long as I can last.

holdin u

I never knew I was lost til I found u.
Reappearin n completin that empty blue.
Jus holdin u shit became so clear.
As the man in me rose without fear.
Side by side that comfort is irreplaceable.
To reach to be able to touch u is remarkable.
All the questions I had disintegrated instantly.
As everything I longed for had possibilities.
Ur lips co in synced wit mine so perfect.
My dreams cane true as I knew u were worth it.
From the past u came n gave me luv.
A truth that never lied as we became flush.
Its u my heart calls for in the middle of the night.
Opened n acceptin willingly ur hand in mine.
From the start n as long as ive known u I was urs.
N after holdin u, u own my luv that needs u more.
As words can never express the depth of how I feel for u.
Jus know til the end of time, my emotion will never go mute.

do me in slowly

If u feel the need to cut me.
Do me in slowly.
Take ur time so we both can enjoy the pain.
As emotions drip like rain.
Ease the twist n make it last.
Remind be of what it was I had.
Before the end of lettin go stands still.
All im askin is dont live in gilt.
Jus do it n have patience in ur decision.
Take my will n force ur incision.
Find ur pleasure in breakin me down.
Cuz once broken, for this luv the heart wont pound.

r u

As an individual, r u enough for an other to find worth.
Is whom it is u truly r gonna be what theyre lookin for.
When the dimee drops n u appear before their eys as u r.
Is ur all youve become gonna stand alone as hearts pour?
At the mement of impact where the realization is known.
Is it self that u have opened up n willingly shown?
R u that one life dorsnt seem right without once time jas taken its toll?
Givin proof to relations that home is earned n will never grow cold.
If emotions unwound n u were left in a calm stare.
Will eyes speak in a way purpose is felt as ur bared?
Can the skin feel touch in a sense of comfort lettin loose?
Freein n submittin self to a cause to luv thatll never die with use.
Dip into ur mind n seek if actions that tell u, u r wanted.
To someone else as u r, r more than somethin.

strange

Wouldnt u wanna be strange.
Touch a lil strange.
Feel a bit of strange.
Wouldnt u wanna rearrange life.
N cut its strings.
Release the puppet from the strain.
Jus Act strange.
Reinvent ur own name.
Become u n realize what it is to be sane.
Break away from the same.
Dabble into the strange.
As u as self is claimed.
Opened up n untamed.
Feelin strange.
As the new u is gained.
Knowin ur own range.
Bein known as self tamed.
By self inside ur own brain.
Doesnt it feel nice to be strange.
As an individual needin change.

beneath the level

Under the radar away from suns shadow hidin from noticability.
Where every movement is a collusion with lifes invisibility.
Beneath the level of crucial inflictions intertwined n playin their part.
Im amongst the lowest of life peekin a shut eye stealin whats been chard.
Its back to the bottom where it all began decades ago.
Damn I shoulda known my own enemy lived within I shoulda sold.
The struggle down here behind these concrete walls never relaxes.
This place is so close the end nearin round givin a flyin fuck facts ass.
So heres to ur happy lives goin so perfectly insane n hypocritical.
Some forced down into the gutters jus dont belong, but in ur world would that be hypothetical?

the crack that broke me

As private as it gets to be unsaid round bout now.
Theres pieces if me shattered about.
The crack that broke me wasnt so quiet.
I imploded in the not so gentle hands of silence.
As self fell apart without a care chasin a dream.
Chips bounced into a million itty bitties of me's.
All starin back for answers that screamed.
Like as if in a smashed mirror n they didnt recognize me.
As simple as it sounds im jus an image that failed.
Not all of the puzzle is even here so I cant be repaired.
Ive lost key microscopic elements to my own design.
Empty is what I am inside anymore as tears r invisible to the eye.
Rounded edges r more sharper than I remember.
Bleedin ducts drip within n im drownin alive all together.
On emotions I cant bare to explain any longer.
I jus dont know how to put me back together.
I cant look at my reflection long enough to figure it out.
A snap exploded inside me as I crumbled with a frown.
A trigger to my own character comin undone.
The wind mustve blown away the connection gone numb.
The one between me n my happiness escapin.
I feel the rottin of who I was deterioratin.
That man with purpose that gave his all on the line.
N of the fragments that were left behind.
They were plucked from my luv while still alive.
Pulled from my heart like teeth from the mouths gritted grind.
Makin sound adjust to the ear so damn confusin.
Mumbles n moans of gibberish went unheard causin delusions.
I dropped my shell n was taken out by the hunt.
Shot down by what appeared to be a 50 cal. From cupids very own gun.
Takin the life I knew away from whom I was deep in my core.
N to be honest I jus dont wanna live this way no more.
As quiet as its kept on the hush side of secrets.
Ive lost my will n if u find it u can keep it.

if i

If I believed I could show an angel how it to could cry at the mercy of whats been felt.
Even if, yet I do not participate in such evils on the edge in which I fell.
The expression to clip the wings is a form of suicide for the way home is gone.
Then maybe the disbelief will be taken n notes of how a human feels lost.
From beginnin to end fillin voids n losin ground with time fallin behind the legs.
With a subconscious in which speaks a piece of the minds understandin as if awake.
As I am unable to turn on self n give self away to a fairytale imagined by fear.
Yet if I could touch the flight of an angel it be with a bullet for all my undeserved tears.

simply reason

It must be everything I thought it ever was n will ever n for forever be.
My all is still on the line, willin to prove what type of emotion needs freed.
Diggin deeper jus to touch that feelin that sinks into the skins comfort.
It must be real luv lastin thru the strugglin heart playin friends in chords.
Past the point of no return it lives n reaches to survive til the end of time.
Pleedin quietly n silence never heard n breakin down as its so felt wooven in a ryhme.
Its truth settlin on the tongue to be shared with the only one thatll ever do.
Livin in patience n waitin to simply reason with a luv that can be more than put to use....

hooked

Hooked in the heart that becomes live bait.
Pumpin to a pulse pulled grom the dirt.
Like a worm that never had a chance.
Plucked from the mud flushed out by the rain.
Punctured n bleedin pains truth of fear.
With no help comin soon before the dip.
Sinkin under the splash down to the fishies.
To a sea of hungry mouths bitin a nibblin pinch.
Swimmin n waitin for the moment to see u swirm.
Chomp,chomp, rippin the nerve of life away.
As the fight within drowns beneath airs gasp.
Done n comin undone as the rest of whats left fades.

is it real?

If luv doesnt hurt, it isnt real.
Its like emotions that cant seem to feel.
Passion without a kiss in a pause.
Someone exceptin u n all ur flaws.
In the same as truths held on the tongue.
Words gone unheard n to the heart, unsung.
Its to hold the hand of ur best friend.
Yeah, its a connection from beginnin to end.
Without them, nothins seems right in life.
Two as one side by side til the end of time.
So if whats shared isnt felt no matter what.
Jus walk away cuz it surely isnt true luv.
Wastin time in the face for personal gain.
As if expressions used is nothin more than a game.
Its gotta have depth of purpose felt deep.
Or its jus not anything od what it appears or seems.
Is it real or r u movin in motion?
Toyin with an others will n devotion.

beggin for truce

Its a struggle to find self.
Its me I can no longer help.
Idk how to be me anymore.
Who am I behind the gore.
The face of a man is confused.
Beggin for a truce.
His heart swims in sorrow.
Not lookin forward to tomorrow.
Its an empty feelin wantin it to end.
Ive lost my fuckin head.
The tossin n turnin is to much.
Coverin up luv with an others touch.
Somethin jus aint right.
I have no will in my fight.
The one I use to be is gone.
Somethin is seriously wrong.
Anger riddles my thoughts.
Pain Consumes what was fault.
The stance I rise to jus doesnt care.
Jus goin with the flow unprepared.
N its me that is to blame.
I failed n now feelbthe strain.
The weakness I never knew I had.
N its drivin a sane man mad.
Touch jus doesnt feel the same.
Everything is nothin more than a game.
N its the way I miss my life.
How I jus wanna feel my wife.
Life fell apart n idk what im doin.
N its as if idk where im goin....

I thought

I thought I was hurt by words.
The pain we served.
I must've went over shit a million times.
The hate we pretended to side
I believed it wasnt me u wanted for sure.
Lost n lookin for a cure.
N after alls said n done.
Im left knowin y I grunt.
Its cuz ur not by my side.
Mandy, ur the reason for the happiness in my life.....

wanna go home ( im numb)

Im done. I jus wanna go home.
The fun n games r over. Blown cover.
Im jus a simple man. Listenin to my heart.
I want a real luv. Givin life to the numb.
Its the only thing ive ever needed. Wanted.
Fir someone to be there. Simply care.
Fuck the dumb. Im tired of goin numb.
I dont wanna live without. I'll show u how.
My all is urs to hold. Dont let me grow cold.
Alone n makin due. Be my truth.
Change what lifes become. Ur man comin undone.
It could be us in our time. Best friends within a piece of mind.
Own me! Make me who I use to be.
Cuz im lost. Life somehow stalled.
Will is abscent. Its fucked up n tragic.
Seems ive died n walkin dead. Be the one in my head.
Bring me back. Help me make it last.
Its jus me. Reachin Im numb n free.
Jus hold our luv. Feel its touch.
Cuz ive never felt anything like it. Without the b.s.
Walk with me til the end of time. Me as urs n u as mine.
No matter what. Side by side n fallin deeper in luv.
More n more everyday. Snuggled at night as we lay.
Im lonely without a friend. For me bend.
Cuz I'll break for u. Cuz I know ur use.
Be the one that makes me, me. Dont leave me with a dream.
Close the space in between. Come find me.
Im waitin n ready to come home, I'm numb. Cuz with u I wanna fall madly in luv!

its the way u left me standin as a man

Its how u left me standin as a man. Aline n make back against this cold world wantin n in need of my friend. I seems u didnt understand where I stood when I was next to u. Loyal n honest in proof I found myself mistreated n played as if an instrement of ur confusion. I was there til the day came space gave u the power to shove me away as if I never meant anything to u. But it wasnt the first time. We use ti say friends fir life, no matter what. That lasted as ling as u foynd others n we werent face to face n u held the cards. N ooh u played them n used tbe queen of hearts to cut me down with her sharp edges. Funny! I took every blow. Every hateful bit if torcher I didnt deserve. It wasnt easy n til this day I struggle in life knowin what I thought I had u say is real. What u say I will recieve with 100% n full of luv. Yet ur there as an other doesn't allow s to speak. N if I come thru the door ur homeless. Sad! U were suppose to stand by my side like I did urs thru all the pain n hardship that u caused. N now that ive found comfort in someone who needs me as I do her to give life to a smile that doesnt seem to work, u say I crushed u. Nice! N now that u know how it feels which wasnt my intent, u feel me n luv me now. But y now? Cuz ur treated like shit? Cuz now u realize I spoiled ur worth n make life? Cuz u had time to think n come away with how good u had it with the gentlest hand u ever felt? U forced me to step. N jus between u n I, I dont wanna lose ve without u. Yet my hands r tied to fear of what u can do to me at any given moment. U alone r a piece of work I can handle. Its the way u left me standin as a man I cant shake. The way I had ti dig to pull myself from a place I never knew existed. Somewhere after feelin ur touch, ur skin, I never thought id ever walk thru. Yet u forgot bout me. Butchie! The one person in this world whi was there for u cuz I cared. Cuz there was purpose for u in my life. But u turned on me for what reasons. We were great together when u wasnt lookin after yourself. When  actually expressed ur luv. Its jus the way u left me standin as a man time n time again when ur fury landed in me heart, head n my skin as the connection slowly destroyed me  so what was I to do after u said I dont know what id ever do without u. Cuz ive seen what youd do n it pains me in the deepest place ive ever felt. N yet more luv v for u will never die. Im jus not healed n scared shitless of only u in this world. All I wanna do is come home. I s to hold u n feel the luv that never ended within me. But someone needs me for ive gained a trust that u never cared to see. Shes been my go to, my comfort n my friend I can count on. So to leave her to the wolves will never happen. Jus know someone is there for me. A human that simply needed someone like I did when tore me apart. I stand beside n behind her cuz I have found a luv fir her like I have u. Its not easy knowin I can come runnin to u. Its not fair now that youd want me to. I fought for luv. N u ran to a kidestyle that ripped our life apart. Pretendin to be someone else cuz it was so fuckin fun to do as u wanted. To lose all ten of us as a family. I was the only one that gave my all n took the abuse to show u what luv could do. Ilu1! N I always will. Jus please understand now is not the time for me to give u what u want cuz ur done learnin ur lesson as an other controls ur life when by my side u were free to be u. Mandy n Butchie for life right? Then be patient cuz theres somethin I have to do in life. If u can do that, it show youve changed n understand cuz the luv we share is true. Ur my one. My only. Endless luv. AILOWY1! Its jus the way u left me standin as a man. Real!