I was there....

I wasnt doin much, jus sittin there.
Life changed in the blink of an eye from outta nowhere.
I use to think it was the greatest thing ever.
Prolly shoulda jus kept to the script n said never.
From the way memories broke down I did become a better man.
Yet still, from get go I was taught a lesson in the way I stand.
From the beginning lemme tell ya, I was a gonner.
Thinkin back I wish I woulda stayed a loner.
Shit jus flipped n before I knew it, bam!
Now here I am now with a new stance.
As if a dream sorta speak if u know what I mean.
Yet, with a rearrangement where nothin was what it seemed.
Crushed, I felt a loss but according to the gain I felt I knew what it be.
Guess life jus dropped outta something that meant something only to me.
Shit was different back then when I had my nuts.
I got twisted putting someone before myself n got fucked.
Emotions went from living to madly in luv to frustration.
Playing out to standing alone after being there fir an others irritation.
Blinded I luvd unconditionally till the bitter end.
All to show thus I've in me had a real friend.
Y shit went sideways was due to a habit.
The wasn't any way I could ever had it.
Never mind so never mind to the thought of a lifetime playing out.
She's mixed fir an eternity even words can't express luv released from the mouth.
The heart failed to realize I to needed comfort in which I hadn't received.
Jus left looking up down upon my knees.
Standing along side an other I thought I knew they'd have my back.
Never turning on me so many times si was attacked.
Attached I craved the completion that wasn't fulfilled.
Somehow someone special lost passions thrill.
There may never be an other to have that purpose I felt.
But a long as I live I'll never want her hand my intentions won't need her help.
I remember the truths I gave that meant nothing to someone I stood for.
Opened up n showed the honesty in my untamed core.
Pure will to enjoy what's rare in this world I was there.
Jus goes to show when u open yourself to hidden secrets n feelings r barred.
Nothing will come from the heart that means a fucking thing.
Cuz selfish behavior claims the weak giving with a razored sting.