falling away n feeling the guilt self doesn't deserve... once the situation forces the issue which friend actually didn't have the right amount of worth.?. one attempting to give a chance without doubt... n the other who hid details that emerge to no longer having their presence around... both having interest in willing to see where life would go side by side... if they can just make it through the getting to know phase that determines life... when finding monsters unsettled in moments feeling a pause in the heart... the mind goes through thoughts on what's best hearing the blaring of alarms... over looking the red flags always comes full circle when fingers point at the innocent one... with patience in wanting to believe fails to show what's truly needed to carry on with luv... emotions get attached even when they are held back so self doesn't get hurt... it's the comfort in being near someone that tends to grow with metaphorical birds that try not to flip up a chirp... all due to one or the other hasn't corrected a thing or two that is vital to the well being of the mind... something over looked by most claiming to be real enough to lie... believing they're to be accepted as is without fixing a left hook that swings from the blindside of hope... one begins to remember after spending time with another that cannot maintain, why it's alright to be alone... yet, as that image causes unwanted pain in a good way one can feel sanity loosing its shit... it's bothersome to know the struggle to meet someone with common interests is so fuckin hard when someone unknown who gets it exists... to have a mutual like to things without the baggage of dead ends is the goal to enjoy passions fully alive... but it comes around that faces change for reasons so self can get past the hype... in the drift back to the way things were prior to that first hello is the hardest part... never to see the outcome play out in a way where no other arms would ever wrap around a work of art... a nerve is touched by the involuntary decision to remove self from an equation that won't turn out so good... the reality grabs a hold of the basic functions that are triggered by a fear with a different look... from a far as memories are stored safe is the in between of them being scattered here n the there... shook by rational logic another one is to be forgotten as if self never fuckin cared... as the liability is sought out as a fault for leaving discomfort is blamed even though self knows the truth of why it must be... as bad as the connection is to be lost the peace within mustn't be disturbed for it is remain free... like the hand that felt another in the middle of a blink of an eye allowing the pulse to grow softer... patience is a necessity for one to come along to fulfill an empty place that has been reconstructed with a lil dabbling within to comprehend what self has to truly offer... if fortunate enough to see fit of how one is another can be mature with a caring humorous side... maybe then desires can accept relations that never havta say goodbye...
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