luv'n some me...

i wasn't made to feel a certain type way... 
never once ever meant to hide my honest use...
i jus got sick of the mood leaving me to never be the same...
so inward emotion went to become whole again by focusing on being recluse...

years got lost n the smile took a hit...
it got old as fuck constantly having to redefine myself...
changing into a different version i never knew could exist...
n when speaking so many say that my words are felt...

mastering the tucking of behind doors not wanting anyone to find me...
i waved with toodles to what once was...
to reconstruct my mindset doing away with useless dreams...
when i found me in a mirror wondering what the fuck...

shoulders didn't even lift in disgust as i flew the coupe...
i was not meant to continue with the chaos in which i had gotten lost...
as hard as it was to step back it was even easier to accept the bs let loose...
as it was evident that i was a lil more than wasting around to the rot... 

as i looked myself in the eyes fixing the issues i had allowed...
creating a mixture of depths surfacing for the mind to adjust behavior patterns...
wrong was expressions falling in luv with the feel of exaggerated frowns...
as life itself reasoned with me to tell me i mattered...

n how i forgot this lil detail is beyond my wildest thoughts...
stirring the nonsense of corruption that plagued who it was i was truly without...
it was me i had to go deep enough to pull from fear holding my flaws...
using each one against me to gain control so i never wanna come back out...

n yet, it wasn't in me to submit to such standards that gave up on me...
i buried myself somewhere jus long enough to correct the situation staring at me in every reflection...
with a no quit mentality i dug to survive a low self esteem...
n when it was all said n done i turned my back on the depression...

it wasn't for me to be split into two halfs fighting a battle i coulda never won...
so i took consideration in my own will to invest in the cracks to be healed...
n now i can awaken not having to go with the flow as i am my own way having fun...
yes, i am jus one but i am real...

n the lessons that poured sits in written rhymes for whoever chooses to read along...
attempting to relate to the realness of this world... 
awakening the emptiness of solitude's played out song...
i am not a piece to someone else's puzzle when i put myself back together as fingers took a whirl...

as the bottom is where i bounced back to my feet...
believing in there is a true guidance no one else can give...
able to feel my heart intact with a better sense of what character really means...
i stood at my ruins n forced an opposing reality in which i demanded to live...

n now it's jus me n my inner child sown together at the seams...
free from the twist that consumes passion enslaved...
all by my lonesome i've come to terms with what helps me breathe...
n i ain't been this content to jus be since i've been given my name...