"MY LITTLE PIECE OF .COM"

Sunday, February 16, 2020

On the loose...

I'm running but I have no choice... I've tried luv but it left an overwhelming void... So I'm on the hunt for a more fortunate life... I depend on me due to those special kinda friends turn out to be nothing more than a thought in the back of the mind... Left behind me as my wheels spin to take me away... Far from the absence felt so I can't stay... It's lonely sitting still so I refuse to remain in one spot... My heart somehow along the way believed emotion needed to stop... It hurts me to havta reclaim what I once had to prosper on my own... When all I ever wanted was what everyone else takes for granted as their covers are blown... I am the loner afraid to feel in my time of moving on with worth... It's a transition where self is loosening up to a different kinda curves... As the roads never end leaving my past where it belongs... The damn pain still lingers although I'll be ok for with me I cannot go wrong... The solo artist incapable of allowing an other in... Believing it's jus temporary dreams that always seems to end... Doubt has me fleeing as if there's no hope to ever recover... So I'm off the deep end removing myself from emptied hands of being held beneath the covers... The nerve has had enough n I'm scared of opening up... All due to I jus do not know who I can trust... With life coming nearer to its final stage... I must make sure I can have some sorta way... I guess I jus don't wanna lose it all over again... Thinking, without luv, I have a better chance... With the horizon all around me in my every view I'm jus out for a drive... Getting paid only to come home briefly so my mind won't get too deprived... As getting lost is something I wish I could do... Battling the thought in my head of what normal is so there is no truce... I jus got tired of hiding what no one knows... I was done yrs ago... Off to conquer a better way for my kids to live... Nothing matters anymore so I found a way for me to avoid a tasteful kiss... Going further than I've ever been so I don't get caught up... With eyes closing wherever they go so I don't havta feel the passing of what is said to be luv... N yet, I don't know what I'm after from one day to the next... Somethings missing within my chest... Where it is there's no saying from here or there... All I do know is I cannot remember how to care... Truths aren't always a smile awaiting the day as this is true... I jus didn't know what else to do... So I took a long ride n got paid to see a few things... Kinda hoping everything I've come to know would leave me alone long enough for me to see what life brings... Settling what's confused me for so fucking long... Tires wrap the bends as I'm off to anywhere I could possibly belong... With only my phone to connect me to friends n fam... The word home jus has no meaning to me as a man... Maybe I'm looking for it n I jus don't know where it is... Maybe somewhere in this cold world with its twists I'll find me having a reason to return to wanting more than a few days spent...

No comments: