Faces change...

I see ur face every time i think of luv... N it seems when i do i wind up feeling an absense hushed... As i come to recall why i can't dig so deep... Damn memories are still to forget what the heart jus cannot delete... With a different story looking me in the face i cannot take... Somewhere, somehow, i find myself alone n nothing is the same... The world changed before my eyes n i didn't even see it happen... All i can remember is the pain i held on to bcuz it was the closest thing to hearing u laughing... The last known feeling i had when u weren't there by my side... It created a loneliness within me as i still believe i havta hide... N even though i remain picking out the pieces of u in my mind... I dug out all emotion when u were no longer in my life... Filled the whole n watched the soil rot where u once laid... Ur no more than a hologram left untamed... Free to roam but never to touch the skin that sought to u fit comforts best... As i imagine what was then to what must be now for u are gone... Living in every other detail in those that come along... I turn away from everyone that reminds me of how u move... N the way u sound with a chuckle that cut me loose... Released from the wonder of luv that i thought was real... I guess in ways none of us truly heal...

I often drift...

With a thought that comes n goes... One that wonders of the true feeling of a place called home... What would be if someone made me feel like I'm someone special as if I mattered to them playing fair... To be the me I've forgotten how to be within relations as they somehow truly care... It crosses the mind every so often... Pulling me into a different kinda reality where I momentarily soften... Knowing I've never been touched the way I've felt skin so smooth... N i'm jus moving on to wherever life winds up after digging the blade outta my mood... It seems I'm living through daydreams thinking of the comfort to settle the nerves... Looking off into nowhere, gone as I tend to drift with my own self worth... N then I come back jus to remembering how bad relations hurt every fuckin time... Making it easier to smile in the mirror n get on with life... Though it bothers something within to know I truly tried so i could be without a doubt the one person an other clings to... But it's jus never more than a moment put to use... I'm that after thought set to the side for a later date like i'm always gonna be around... N all I ever desired was to be a twinkle in an eye that could relate to a presence found... I often drift with the mind loosened from realities grip... Not knowing what it's like to comfort a friend like no other caught up when bodies begin to twist...

recognizing worth...

bared to the notice is truths coming into view hoping to be seen... a use for depths to admit emotion is moving with the consistency of wants n needs... from imperfections to a norm that fits rather nicely settled into motions... there's a forever sense that is willing to be a lifetime if the chance ever accepts intent as a devotion... n when the first cut stretches yrs in the making of moving on is self recognizing worth... knowing when a friend is to actually appear life feels as if it starts all over again as chuckles lurk... doing a lil thing with the face that not jus anyone can create by jus being who they are... n it's when they dig themselves into the earning of tenderness that silences the alarms... naked to sight n damn near blind luv itself is an attempt to have more than the image in the mirror mimicking facial expressions hoping to live... as what surfaces is a rare distinction of details showing the design in which self has grown to wanna give... opened to the peace to be felt beneath the texture of skin that hides who resides outta sight... seen by actions that hold passion tight enough to breathe... like a lost art that's returned to the knowing of how to feel someone else when fingertips flow on curves to please... sinking in to the inner makings of a truce changing for sensitivities to be exposed... relations when done right is the creativity resurrected from the heart when one no longer hasta be alone...

down goes luv...

how does it feel up on the throne i put u on.?.
now that i've kicked it over n you've fallen from ur norm...
as i used to be at ur every call jus to be there for u...
wanting the best u choose for yourself as i chose to keep it on the move...
how'd it feel when i wasn't there that first time.?.
when u realized slowly there after u weren't on my mind...
i bet u didn't feel the loss i did n that's why i'm no longer under ur spell n shit...
n to believe i actually truly felt u dripping with my heart that melted...
do i even havta ask, did it even hurt.?.
or is it so obvious i was oblivious to the truth that held no worth...
jus lingering around waiting on u to come around....
getting lost in the silence of ur words that went without sound...
from the pedestal u were place upon without earning it...
was it a long descend before u took notice that i got tired of ur bs.?.
bcuz i don't think i was a thought to be considered...
as i heard ur tongue tell me one thing n then it was off with its sliver...
oh high n mighty with a crooked grin stretch from ear to ear...
as pretty as it is it showed me the ugly i've come to fear...
so to keep u from my well being i had to take ur face down off the walls of my mind...
reclaiming vital details that create a simple twist to my life...
without u reaching for me like imma be there whenever u decide i exist...
i don't ever wanna hear my name flow from the taste of ur lips...
ur a warlord of destruction n i have removed ur from my deepest depths...
knowing over u in every way i have wept...
so please, take the crown u wear n find someone else to destroy...
i've had enough for i am no longer ur toy...

lost with the endless pavement...

reflections in the tail lights that are as red as the roses that have been dead n gone... don't stop crosses the mind when they light up the night in its darker times of loosening up the pavement for a lil fun turning up those favorites songs... n i'm not sure if it's mine or the truck in front of me that those who claimed to be a part of my past are shining every time i step on the brakes... shit's crazy to think they'll catch up to me if i slow down or if whoever it is that's before me doesn't get outta my fuckin way... move is the thought to keeping it going so i can get on down the road somewhere before i run outta gas... it's like dodging headlights coming straight at me jus to turn to miss me going so fast... like an ex left elsewhere or one i haven't yet met... as there's hope in the wheels to never stop spinning until i get to a place where i can rest... it's as real as exposed emotions that once leaped from my chest that found the curves of the countryside leading the way... over the confusion n avoiding stop signs i can't sit still to hear someone say my name... as the mirrors are not to be pointing straight back at me for me to see what's gone wrong as i'm trying to reconfigure me as a man... whispering toodles n farewells to has beens  that torn pieces of my heart off for their own personal gain i could never understand... n it seems i've been driving for such a long time every time i yield to feel the wind blowing me away... with a thought of where in the fuck did home move to when i seem to look around to realize nothing ever remains the same... having one life to get it on when getting lost is taken literally from mouth that spit venom in my face with a laugh... following the pavement to who in the fuck knows where as i'm on the loose to not caring to settle on attachments clinging to what i ignite with a flick of a match... no more images are allowed to take up space in my head... n i wish could shake the ones that have embedded themselves into my memory that never intended to travel through life with allowing luv to feel a certain tenderness when laying in a bed... it's a no for me n i said it sitting alone in lonely hotel rooms... off into the distance where no one tends to go anytime soon... listening to the night give some sorta peace to the echos bouncing off the walls in my mind... i've been cracked, bent broken, chipped, worn, torn, n reborn after being frayed... n i don't ever wanna want someone to eventually feel the pain the of leaving due to the same ol fucked up games...

i believe...

as early as the sun can rise to bring light to the texture of ur face... touching the life within as u awaken jus to say my name... i'm almost jealous it reaches for u as if it were my own eyes taking u in... as u lay so comfortably i watch how the sheets make luv to ur body all snug as i kiss ur lips... it's jus something i have come to want due to the stimulation i feel awakening to u on my side... i get lost jus before u come to with how lovely ur lay in such a peaceful ease with me in ur life... it's mind fuckin at its best to witness the raw satisfaction of rolling over to feel u so close... every morning there is a much deeper hope to enjoy with another day to grow...from the way ur hair is all messy as u run of to pee... the sight of u scurrying across the room creates a smile i cannot hide as i truly feel free... waiting for u to return n lay with me for a few wondering why it feels like it's us we need... with nothing to do but talk about what we wanna eat.. on a saturday morning as the rays come through the blinds... words are soft n are heard of the emotion that lingers with life... felt in the stillness laying around falling into a moment prior to getting up... i believe within me u are luv'd...

U are appreciated...

Where were u when I was down.?. Struggling in the middle of life fighting a frown... Seems u were nowhere in sight... As I lost a friend in my mind... Hurt n scared I never stopped... Witness to u turning to fun from to the top... Knowing i was bottomed out unable to ask for help... Yet u yourself judged me n that shit was felt... Between the pain n my smile it was like Jekel n Hyde... N the one thing I thought was I'm losing valuable time...  For our friendship never meant a damn thing to u... I had to cut u loose... I guess ur crown was worth so much more... N that's another thing that touched my core... U truly thought u were better than me... Metaphorically I was drowning n couldn't breathe... With nowhere to go n no place to call home... N in my loss I realized it was ok to be alone... Due to the silence of counting on me was as beautiful as having one more day... Even though u of all people u helped others tarnished my name... I was in need of a friend as i had to reconnect with myself... The was no u when it mattered the most n to be honest I'm so glad for me u had no use... So thanks is given to how u showed me what people are capable of...  As my brief down slide transformed a better version of me I like n I luv...

inside out...

i've picked u apart in my mind in so many ways... put u back together n still u remain the same... it seems the pieces fit no matter how they are arranged... n i don't believe there is a thing about u i'd ever change... plucked from u r edges is removed to get to ur heart... n in the details that define u i find who u truly are... to be the same individual within ur expressions as u have become deep in ur core... words heard even in my head give a clarity of why i should want more... with u disassembled in my head i like watching u laid about... jus so i can see u from angles even reality takes to long to allow... as bared is beyond ur flesh showing of the shape in which u live... n i cannot find anything in ur flaws worth not having u around wanting taste my lips... i do not havta ask who it is lingering in my thoughts... bcuz the face worn is one that gives comfort when my days come to a pause... seen dissected n to a whole there's a level of curiosity that presents itself as a real friend... so as that as well has already been rushed to it's ends... forced to limits as i unlock u in my secret moments wonder where with u i fit in... n to my surprise it appears you've have landed somehow in my rib... as i reveal truths of being intrigued by the greater good u could give to me... in a relentless mindset u stand as is provoking my daydreams... deliberately interrupting my life to shake me loose... feeling chuckles unwind a laughter as my smile begins to move... the visual display of ur inner makings creates a sense of security i cannot deny... yet, i'll nibble my tongue long enough until it's ok to release emotions that wanna shine...

the drifting thought of u n i...

do u ever get lonely when u seem to be healed.?. i often wonder how it is u truly feel... with a curiosity that tends to wander off when i think of u... it's like i wanna believe we ain't so far apart when it comes to the emotion wanting to be put to use... though it's jus a thought when u cross my mind... drifting in ur own way trying to so me how have more meaning to life... as i go a lil further to find reasons why we shouldn't try to hold on to what could be found... yet silence remains the one thing keeping us apart due to the lack of sound... i'm merely a fan in the crowd who can admit i too paid the cost... i'm jus going on with attempting to use time in a manor it doesn't feel as if self hasn't been lost... in my head ur what is craved bcuz my heart can feel things when i look at u... for some reason i believe in the silliness of emotions wanting desperately to move... n all i wanna know is if i have been seen without being in ur physical sights... as quiet as i can possibly ask, is it ur afraid to speak to me as u hide.?. i won't tell no one a word if it's me lingering in daydreams wishing u could feel me close... to fall into the feel of skin touching so we're not alone... hasn't it been long enough.?. or is it not a shame we havta live this way without what is obviously a real chance at luv.?. if not, it's ok to do what it is u do... i jus thought i'd tell u a thing or two... like how i'd enjoy having ur smile awaken to my face come mornings where we're still going strong... wanting one thing n that's to last for a lifetime knowing with each other we belong... u n i in our moment to finally have that distance closed... to open up in ways we've never trusted to claim a home... do u ever sit n stare out into nothing n see us in the horizon n catch yourself chuckling at the thought of me.?. bcuz you'd make the difference if we were ever to truly be...

On the loose...

I'm running but I have no choice... I've tried luv but it left an overwhelming void... So I'm on the hunt for a more fortunate life... I depend on me due to those special kinda friends turn out to be nothing more than a thought in the back of the mind... Left behind me as my wheels spin to take me away... Far from the absence felt so I can't stay... It's lonely sitting still so I refuse to remain in one spot... My heart somehow along the way believed emotion needed to stop... It hurts me to havta reclaim what I once had to prosper on my own... When all I ever wanted was what everyone else takes for granted as their covers are blown... I am the loner afraid to feel in my time of moving on with worth... It's a transition where self is loosening up to a different kinda curves... As the roads never end leaving my past where it belongs... The damn pain still lingers although I'll be ok for with me I cannot go wrong... The solo artist incapable of allowing an other in... Believing it's jus temporary dreams that always seems to end... Doubt has me fleeing as if there's no hope to ever recover... So I'm off the deep end removing myself from emptied hands of being held beneath the covers... The nerve has had enough n I'm scared of opening up... All due to I jus do not know who I can trust... With life coming nearer to its final stage... I must make sure I can have some sorta way... I guess I jus don't wanna lose it all over again... Thinking, without luv, I have a better chance... With the horizon all around me in my every view I'm jus out for a drive... Getting paid only to come home briefly so my mind won't get too deprived... As getting lost is something I wish I could do... Battling the thought in my head of what normal is so there is no truce... I jus got tired of hiding what no one knows... I was done yrs ago... Off to conquer a better way for my kids to live... Nothing matters anymore so I found a way for me to avoid a tasteful kiss... Going further than I've ever been so I don't get caught up... With eyes closing wherever they go so I don't havta feel the passing of what is said to be luv... N yet, I don't know what I'm after from one day to the next... Somethings missing within my chest... Where it is there's no saying from here or there... All I do know is I cannot remember how to care... Truths aren't always a smile awaiting the day as this is true... I jus didn't know what else to do... So I took a long ride n got paid to see a few things... Kinda hoping everything I've come to know would leave me alone long enough for me to see what life brings... Settling what's confused me for so fucking long... Tires wrap the bends as I'm off to anywhere I could possibly belong... With only my phone to connect me to friends n fam... The word home jus has no meaning to me as a man... Maybe I'm looking for it n I jus don't know where it is... Maybe somewhere in this cold world with its twists I'll find me having a reason to return to wanting more than a few days spent...

same ol...

they all sound the same...

talking about, i'm not like others...

you'll pass up a good thing if u don't act quick...

or i'm the best n you'll want no other luv'r...

it's like an echo in the mind set on repeat...

claiming to be unique n self entitled as their lips begin to move...

they seem to believe there's only one of them in this world...

as words spoke carry the same vibe when let loose...

jus wanting the attention to settle their nerves...

unwilling to take no for an answer until they get tired of hearing even themselves...

n then it's on to the next lame catering to the physical presence...

as they as well follow suit in a game momentarily felt...

knowing men cannot choose wo they're to come into contact with...

using their intentions to entice their taste in men...

i hear babbling when they share the same tone from start to finish...

pretending to be a one of a kind as if barbie owning ken...

like a hypnotic presence they play so elegantly if they choose...

or can be so selfish with their demands to be luv'd...

frail in a form of beauty with a twisted monster within...

it's all about them jus wanting to be touched...

felt in arms to feel safe...

to be brought back from the other side...

the characteristics of a female is not so hard to figure out...

one jus hasta give into their way of life...

listening to them tell it as if they aren't the victim of their own demise...

changed by the decisions made for self to find a lil more then hope...

as the creature within jus wants to be savagely taken...

used with a respect so they feel wanting n desired with hormones that roam...

don't compare me they'll say...

doing the same ol shit everyone else does...

with so called an uncannily worth as the one to be missed...

it's those like me that keep the knowing on the hush...

able to see through the design that attempts to captures an unattentive mind...

faces change but actions remain...

interests fade by u not giving into the same ol thing...

but it doesn't mean they're not worth a friend to be gained...

representation of truths...

even in being who we are, u havta have something to offer someone wanting to share the heart as a home... n there's a list of things others are lookin into as qualities for us to ever get close enough to, with them, to be alone... independence can be ugly asf if self is all that matters to the naked eye... as character is seen jus after the physical attraction that claims any n all reasons of why... the mirror isn't ones best friend for others see us in their own way as in the image we all hide... noting to self as how much attention one needs from how many others to feel alive before retracting within where no one but self resides... friendly smiles often lie when the real individual is witness from a far... yet if one could jus get to know an other on another level where a truce lingers in sights felt in the heart... shedding the wall that keeps self safe from so many wanting in that have their own selfish agenda... it's what we are n not what we pretend to be that shows the details of common interests to live a lil without the need of a alpha or omega... the mind has the deciding vote for everything is a choice... n who one is is jus that n deserves their own voids...

the beauty of the beast...

into the wild... where emotion runs like an animal on the prowl... howling with moans claiming luv... touched on the outside fulfilling dirty lil lusts... free from the inside out the beast connects with the pulse... rode from the core to the eye penetrating its walls... holes open as hands reach to save one from self... believing in the tenderness that comes along as that in particular sense of help... craving to be felt up in a moment where pants grow into gasps... as stares arouse intents finest task... stripping the shell of the defenses from the skin... baring the flesh to sight following the shape of the body wanting in the rib... into the unknown where not many come back the same from... from the untamed natural affect of the heart warmed from the numb... thawing drips land into puddles upon the bed... creatures come to life beneath the dimming of lights prior to the exhaustion forcing the lungs to rest... soothing the monster within in an embrace held close to the torso... arms wrapped n whispers linger across pillows into ears listening to how there's an enjoyment to the explosion of hormones... inhabiting space n domesticating a strange comfort that feels so fuckin right... one that lasts from the beginning of the darkness to the mornings light... met in the middle of life transforming a mythical legend into a reality worth the need... into the wilderness one seeks the capture of such dreams...

shadows n silhouettes...

all i hear is u telling the next one in line the same shit u tell me... as i am even a repeated emotion that lingered from someone prior as an ex to be... with the exact words expressed ur tone delivers a sense of desire opened up to passion mimicking the thrill... as u seem to chase the exact replica that fits the silhouette crawling through ur thoughts at will...the visual display reminds me of a mirror image looking back at self... feeling my own lips adjust to a new pressing of kisses that somehow help... yet who are we in a moment when they pass like a stranger not wanting to be bothered.?. yeah it's a fresh start but it'll grow old n we're gonna be telling an other we don't know details outta trust for it's them in which we honor... at least for a lil while until the transformation of likes n dislikes settles in... jus like others that's come n gone as if they were never here to create a joy from within... leaving only a thought to provoke old feelings that should not exist... when will that split second tic that increases the space in between u n i as we say forever will be missed.?. changing for the better as we claim laughter that chuckles back as lies will only be redirected in time... once the feel loses it's presence to listen to a voice carried through the air... one that sounds similar to preliminary luv'rs that swore they cared... n with every single letter arranged to form phrases it's a replica of needs n wants leaping outta the mouth... so, where is it u wanna be standing in the now where the alphabet has no sound... muted to the heartbeat able to pulsate through the skin n reach for worth... not ever wanting to die as if luv itself can be heard... in the silence of a brief interaction that has a belief in touch... are we a has been or is this more than jus another lust.?. bcuz i can attend ur blabbering of what everyone up til now has had the pleasure to absorb until it was gone... what's so different to wanna dive in to me when the after effects is me being the one u jus don't dwell on.?. in a reality based mindset of witnessing who is before u that u have locked in on for ur own selfish craves... if tomorrow is to be, will u still be tasting my name.?. even our shadows change shapes the older we get... are u truly gonna be there at the end.?.

dead roses...

what's it feel like to live unleashed.?. free to luv as if it's so easy to breathe... contrary to what i may appear to be in ur eyes, i once felt it come alive... i jus cannot remember how to open up without consequences that linger in the mind... though i was damn good at what i used to could... my memory is vague to the hearts crave to desire more than jus a look... touch jus isn't the same when fingers find me running to hide... sheltered n safe from emotions that trust no one afraid to live a shared life... fuck me n leave me be has even come to be a thing rare enough to recall from here n there... as a certain kinda frisky can only arouse my inner beast that jus does not fuckin care... it's scandalous to admit i'd rather resort to gigolo ways other than to give in to the hate that come from a so called friend... n i'd jus like to know how i could cross back over to believe in whispers that speed the pulse with no chance to never end... what am i if i cannot evolve from the solitude in which i've fallen in luv... seeking money to take care of self with birds flung... help me relate to a reason i some how refuse to cater to... so someone will appear to be more than a passerby on the move... the comprehension of ownership rattles in my head as a trap... putting new faces that come along deeper than those the hurt me in my past... a somebody to who to keep tabs on my actions like i'm not allowed to live the way i must... i'm chained to my train of thought chuckling at smiles wanting in... n sometimes i get close to adapting n retract due to four simple rules that make or break grins... as romance is missed but jus isn't worth the chaos passion claims is real... i lean towards desires for a presence is better when the sway that finds a grove loosening garments that peel... though those attachments are a done deal when a few times together want a lil more... n nah, i don't understand the rush as i am confused by why i shut down on the tenderness to score... it matters not to me even though i get bored as fuck... or have i jus matured to the point where it's hard to find someone else that's leveled up.?.

open up...

wiggle me in to a lil time to see who's who... vibe without fear of me putting on moves... let's avoid the phones n all the texting... in the presence is way better than sexting... if ur as independent as u say we could be a thing... so mute em for a chance for something else to happen other than a ring... show n tell is a prolly not what ur used to i know... u ain't gotta hear me until you've witnessed what u need to be shown...i ain't shy n i don't have it in me to waste what i cannot get back... as stimulation is more than being a sexual prize awaiting to be claimed... we could jus attempt how it feels to say each others names... listening to the tone of what comes from within... as pieces gather to display a solid approach jus wanting to live... taking hope in the hand n handing it off to a friend in the makings... as nerves settle in a moment set in the eyes if real is for the taking... jus getting along for a bit so life can rest momentarily to visualized the good in my heart... loosening to the tendencies of how we interact on levels to be a work of art... mingling for a simple kinda pleasure well before we ever touch... jus catching a sense of use to be craved easing into a different type of luv... what do u say if we took a risk n came from behind our screens.?. wants could reason to transform into the long deserved need... having a convo worth a fuck that entertains the smiles curve... find room for me n lets see about a word considered to haves some worth...

a single solo one...

it takes one person to change everything... to flip reality upside down... making nothing into anything... n even something from words never making a sound... every now n again someone different comes along... with a unique kinda thrill we jus cannot resist... opening up the valve to the possibility to things that can go so wrong... the chance is in the way they kiss... on the raw side of life nothing seems to go right... n on the other side there's endless amounts of emotions to gain... twist them both like a sponge n whatever will come from the hype... transforming before the eyes that never see the process due to staring at the flame... from lonely to good n then to bad... it's a single smile that can make or break the will... giving reason or taking away it all n left to feel sad... fulling expectations for heart to spill... n either way the teeter tots as weight carried comes into play... hoping what's met is a face worth a fuck... as likes are in the time it takes to decipher a friend or foe saying thy name... a solo artist strolls through life as a stranger stopping to consider a purpose for luv...

snug...

a fire with some music set on low... cuddled up with a body not of my own... looking at life evolve believing it to be ok to fall... as the day turns to night n the mood swings like hinges opening the heart easing into a pause... lips tasted n felt with every stroke... laid up snug to the feel of comfort not having to be alone... giving a piece of self for an exchange for something real... as the moment clings to a reason to peel... as layers shed for fingers to touch a nerve... slow n steady jus express a lil worth... listening to how the flame flickers with the sound of heartbeats reaching from within... descending into a place life rearranges the mind as the skin becomes thin... worked loose enough to enter without any intentions of ever coming back out... tasting sighs upon the tongue feeling the chest pound... excited to be in the same room moving so easily... motion admits the flow of hormones wanting more... eyes speak when they roll jus after a stare that claims how desires are adored... with a soft stroke to create a reaction awaited to be seen... bared is the acceptance that settles over thought dreams... looking at reality beneath the lights dimmed to share pleasure on the rise... pausing briefly to admire the beauty by saying, ur mine... as the enjoyment can be heard in a whisper released into the air... the face itself telling on self in tuned with a friend who who knows how to play fair... with a need to tell wants the mornings will find a gain.... snug n fit to the sensation of becoming more than a thought caught up in the brain...

better to dream...

alone i go to beddy bye... another night for my heart to eat itself alive.. mind ready to run away from time... wanting only to slip into dreamland behind the eyes... to a place where happiness exists... somewhere in my head not having to chase the perfect set of lips... without a reality to come n go with a twist... where i will never feel a word like missed... knowing when i return my thoughts on the other side are always waiting... ready for an other baring all simply anticipating... n there's so much that goes on when the cross over lays with the mating... a imagined friend far from the pain of everyone else ok with leaving with a hating... i hide as i slide into the nights free to be.. into a moment of repeat that not once cannot breathe... n if i submit nightly to my long awaited sleep... from the depths of comfort i know luv is real somewhere as tears leak... where light can only be let in to witness a face like no other... wrapped up in the loosening of how bodies hover... being so much more than luv'rs... snuggled up in a fairy tale beneath the silliness of playing around under the covers...

fuck off...

what is it u want.?. in all seriousness, who do u want me to be.?. in all ur thoughts of what a man is suppose to be... do u truly understand u have no idea what it takes in a world so harsh to fulfill the need to jus wanna live without the demand of over rated dreams..?. as real as i can relate, do u not get it.?. the pressure of being all n the above... quietly kept, how am i to fill thoughts drilled into ur head.?. fuck rhyming at this point of connecting on another level... what the fuck am i to u.?.  this world ain't the same as when lil heathens ran wild listening to those who were ignorant to equals able to maintain... where's ur mind contemplating what's in it for u.?. be real for once in ur life... come clean... tell it like it is... i'm cool with the terms in which determine relations in ur mind... as long as u can witness my contribution on trying to make it happen... from my angle jus wanting to be seen...  what's the deal in the middle of the grind.?.  who in the fuck are u?. lets get to what matters the most... the way luv is as selfish as looking out after how self feels before anyone else... tell it like it is... i'm inur face daring u to show yourself for a greater cause... are u gonna play ur gender into every aspect of ur life.?.  raw n in it for ur own gain... admit it... be real... it's ok if u only knew...  how my disbelief was what id wonder wasn't what u felt what was best forme.?.  only if u could see life through an other's eyes... better would be a thing of beauty untamed... then again, maybe it's me who jus thinks too much... believing in a true connection where genders do not role play... getting it in day by day... in luv with life first n foremost... gathering what is most important when mindsets differ to say the least... fuck it right.?. who cares as long as everyone can claim they're the best thing ever... what is it u want from me.?.what is it i havta prove.?.  to who of all people as u.?. why.?.are u special in one way or another.?. some kinda different that everyone else ain't saying they are or ain't.?. i'm jus trying to get down to the bare facts... who in the fuck is who.?. n why should i believe ur on some other level without any proof... oh, yeah, it's bcuz u said ur something else... excuse me for side stepping ur self worth... i do so apologize... i don't mean to tarnish ur ego whatsoever n all... i jus don't understand how ur so high on ur hog... feeding in to ur own self righteous bs...

a real one...

i jus need someone who can entertain me... an other to be as free to let loose n jus be... with a level head n a good work ethic... able to comprehend it's about a friendship... n that luv isn't a must for it is earned... as the connection has common interests n likes that give life a lil more to enjoy together... n even though the sex will havta be a no limits kinda play, it's not all about being luv'rs... jus one who can hold their own n ain't so quick to get emotional... bcuz it's the moment that will last if what's found is indeed devotional... a piece of mind is the rarest factor sought out... the key ingredient that settles the nerves as tones find sound... what's needed is a comfort of knowing my heart is in a good place... not having to rush into relations for time allows the ease of getting used to saying names... to be a norm snuggled the fuck up... as to be complimented through actions that give reason to become flush... knowing when luv is spoken of, it's been proven without a doubt that a true friend exists... down for their own cause to have me around pressed against their own lips... in sync with luv itself is selfish in this sense... yet giving self to the cause of a purpose of anticipating the suspense...getting to the one place where desires n passion come to life... back to back n side by side is the goal... laying without daggers when agreeing to go home... living in a motion that is craved without the chaos of jealousy... confident in a way what i do is what's believed to be real as a pleasantry... a calm to be is the necessity to relate... to accept the terms of what's brought to the table is whop one is straight... to the point of contact that never lies of its intent... able at the end of the day to rest... to move without restrictions as what comes from within is free n meant to be enjoyed... yet not until the getting to know takes on a phase where safe is not annoyed... for sure in every sense that i am what is missing in the middle of life... even though without me the sun does shine...

the loner drifts...

i can help stimulate ur deepest desires but u prolly think i'm a ho...

n from  a far u might think it's wise to let me pass even though ur curiosity wants to know...

i get that allot when females look at me n those are the ones i believe have trust issues...

jus bcuz i'm different n look the way i do i fit the gigilo profile wanting one night to put u to use...

i could play that roll like i have so many times in my past like i don't care...

yet, i've had that kinda fun n jus keep things a lil more simple than being here n there...

as bizarre as it may seem, even though i am a freak, it ain't all about the sex...

but there's prolly nothing i can do to get u to see there's also a pulse beating in my chest...

judged i am by how i'm free to be me n i get how eyes take in what they do not know...

as i sit around watching good azz females take to lames jus wanting their moans...

as depth is the reach uncharted due to the shallow in which people live in...

real being a character played until life gives enough time to see one an other from within...

with me still stationary cruising in my own lane never to be phased by a touch...

though it would be nice to be felt n feel how groping would triggers lusts...

n there's nothing wrong with it if it's jus one person at a time...

i can admit i entertain the things i could do to u that linger throughout my mind...

though so many take that as a commitment i jus can't submit to...

there's jus no way for me to open up n allow someone to play with my emotions calling a truce...

it takes more than a few hours of letting me have my fro me to fall deeply in luv...

when fantasies n realities live side by side is when it's mire than a crush...

as i'm a lil to much for most stuck on i'm prolly a great one night stand...

n to dig into the statement beyond the truth there's a good azz man...

unseen due to the visual display of being friendly with whoever chooses to speak...

ignored is the realism of i'm jus not out to put others down looking to align my kill streak...

yeah, dick n skill i have yet, it's what isn't known that i have even more ability of...

as i am no more than a whore jus bcuz no one truly knows i don't chase the rush...

it must be a mindset scared to realize i have evolved from the silly lil games...

holding my passion closer to me than a body could ever be held, not to be burnt by the flame...

so the loner drifts in the line of sight where behind the scenes is a mystery...

a secret others tend to assume is a lifestyle of women used to be collected in my history...

i'd enjoy u, n yeah i'd play with u in ways i'd never get enough...

but it's what's already in ur head that keeps me from ever wanting to actually fuck... 

sinking into dreams...

i don't wanna fuck... i jus wanna lean in n rest my head on ur chest... it isn't about tryin to convince u it's u i luv... i jus need a moment of ur time to be close enough to press my face on ur breasts... n lose the weight of this world for jus a lil while... to feel u holding on to me opened up to the comfort of not wanting to ever let go... listening to ur heartbeat as i drift away with a unique kinda smile... settling the nerves unseen by the naked eye as i believe i've finally made it home... i jus need u to be my escape... the marvelous answer that helps me enjoy life in ur arms... as even men should be able lay motionless n feel someone so deep emotion gets an even trade... sinking into dreams where reality awaits for me to awaken more in tuned with ur heart... it's not about the sex... when the mornings come back around to seeing ur face is where it's at... knowing i can touch u anytime i wanna reach for u outta respect... as my reason to be who it is i now i can be not wanting to live to fast... it's more of slow time of living in the moment... able to be as silent as the mood can be... to pull u close to my true intent craving to have u near me for life... as someone i can count on when things are a bit too much for me to breathe... calming my anxiety as in return i can do the same with a lil extra piece of mind...

evolving...

from roots to where i choose to be... what was doesn't determine who i am as me... as there's those who cannot comprehend the choice of born into isn't the final dream... from the bs, i am free... unable to feed into the unfulfilling need to remain what i was taught to be... when there's so much more to a world than hard times doin the same ol shit restricting me from being me... held jus outta reach is my dreams... yet i move my feet to own them bcuz i've decided to be from my past, free...

the belief is gone...

my minds been on my money for so long i don't feel an other to be a comfort at all... maybe i need a lil help to remind me of what emotion truly can do... to open me up n put to use what i've tried to give away... for my secret is i wanna somehow come back to life but i can't seem to believe in anything other than bodies that move... jus bcuz seeing beneath the skin is an impossible act... so it's motion that claims interest that flows to moans n that's a fact... as thoughts gather past times of how i was so good when in relations... until the trap twisted my reality into a deserted wasteland that captured my will to give in... n yet, it's the one thing missed in do not know how to get back to that digs in deep... living in the silence of my own heartbeat pulsating in an empty room jus wanting a moment to feel a real kiss... something reaching in to soothe the comfort of no harm intended... though it's my funds i must rely on so my life can keep from falling apart... on my way in one direction unable to loosen up to a set of hands that jus wanna enjoy me... i guess i jus don't wanna loose it all over again as i tend to fly as solo as to play my own cards...

the same issue...

maybe if you said something i'd know where we stand in the middle of not making a sound... & with so many eyes to be seen maybe it's yours that would settle this man on down... waiting on tongues to move so tones can slip from within... as there's no way for me to know you have a curiosity lingering in your own stimulation' s wanting to be felt... you have the chance to create a reality of a certain kinda sigh if you chose to feel me as close as  catching drips from the heart as it melts... you never know where my mind is n how i wonder who you are... or maybe you have the same issue as my silence that hasn't yet tried to find the words to calm the heart...  to put face with the thoughts of how self is going to waste... damn it would be nice to simply know, so i can say ur name... who are you resting in solitude's choice to wait it out.?. your voice would be so nice to hear before someone else attempts to swoop in & touch what hasn't yet been found... a friend of multitudes that would show how life has dreamed of falling into your worth... or shall it be me to speak up with so many in your ears that makes it hard for me to be heard.?.

the after effect...

it's when u truly believe in something that everything about self changes... n when it goes astray you'll never be the same again as people seem to speak a different languages... hitting depths thought to be too far down to reach... thinking how it felt when it was as good as smiles used to express needs... in the after effect of knowing true intent showing how belief can be so wrong... the hurt trickles into the design of hope fading behind the eyes for so fuckin long... transforming emotions into a solid force unwilling to adapt to someone else's lies... left with tears to drain the anticipation of what was supposed to be for life... with one chance to lose it all when it was said to be a no matter what comprehension understood... as down goes all n the above to descend into a pit of useless nonsense shook... as the memory doesn't wanna fade as quickly as all the individual times something rare was said to be shared... it's when the loss pulls the plug when sighs late at nigh are muted n no longer care...

jus before...

jus before the easing of letting go one wonders if luv ever seen itself in a mirror n thought about self... with nowhere for the mind to go n tears falling from the eyes knowing the memory must die... pain rushes to the scene in one last attempt to hold on to anything worth the fight... as lonely as life has become in silenced nights in dark rooms the truths comes forward there's nowhere left to hide... the depths have been searched n the feeling has drifted from to a float from the bottom dragged to prove it was jus a hype... n in the moment a sigh settles the nerve in which will never turn around to even entertain the linger of lies... telling self in a new breath there's more to a friendship than what's been seen by a foe pretending to get what they felt is best for them jus wasting time... it's a clarification where the mind snaps n emotion jus doesn't give a fuck to continue to allow such a dive... for the hurt dries out n belief in relations come back around to capture a form of what lessons considers a better chance to enjoy likes... curious to know if an other ever took a gander at what eyes witness them to be... self often lingers in thoughts jus before everything changes the outcome of dreams...

if's...

if i would've gotten to know u, i woulda neva fell... n if i coulda remembered who i was at the time when i went to far in needin help... i wouldn't have been lost for so long lookin for a friend jus to let myself down when it was my heart that was lent... only if i would've waited to give in to what sucked me in to what was supposed to be meant... i coulda saved myself yrs of lost time tryin to put me back together...i know what i shoulda done yet, it was something i couldn't resist talkin about forevers... chasing immature emotions that u used against me that showed me i never mattered to a so called friend... as words i would not allow to be said as u buried yourself in the end... deep inside of me u went to twist me in ways my smile was confused... if i could've dug u up sooner than life being so amused... the sinking into my chest u shouldn't have ever been... let alone running through my thoughts without knowing who u were waiting to pretend... n if only, i remained true to the one that mattered the most... i could have seen through the bs u claimed was as real as how my name u had to roast... yet, it was the clown u had fun with that was more than u should of had ever been able to get to know... i should had left u the fuck alone...

do me this...

do me this, when stepping into a room... lemme see ur eyes focus as the vibe between us is on the move...... make me feel u from somewhere deep... n by all means, don't refuse me... gimme something i have no doubt but to believe in... into me, believe u can come to lean... friends first in the mood before touch ever feels the skin trembling... in a moment of clarity as smile relate in the way they're resembling... open ur mind to the truth that luv has no chance if like has no place... catch me standing on my own by opening up to the way u whispers my name... enjoy how real the motion of emotion reaches for the surface to be felt... without ever getting close enough for fingertips to caress how heart melts... in the design of comfort from a far... play with me on another level to do a lil more with the spark... do me this, go with the flow the sways in the space in between ur world n mine... as free as will cannot get enough of the mind... permanently set for life unable to deny who it is a am... feeling the pull of need the closer u get to the wanting me in ur emptied hands... even when i ain't in ur sights to be detected...  when the crave can't wait to see me step in ur direction... as trust doesn't havta hope we have what it takes to be side by side jus living our best life... do me this, witness how i react to the way u say, hi...  

comforts rearranged...

what's to miss when sighs even tend to hiss... words lie n lips aim carelessly landing in a kiss...bad things show true intent listening to vibes vent... emotion gets in the way once time is spent trying to get close enough to catch a glimpse... fists ball to bare knuckles claiming what's fair... home invasions empty the heart as memories say they care when eyes glance at walls in brief stares... rockin beds loosen bolts n nuts bustin to wind up motionless huffin n puffin n feelin stupid... provin time tells all givin the illusion a face to capture a moment a stranger turns back to a world to walk as they keep it movin... touch feels the last time skin accepts a friend who no longer remains a trend... n defending them fades when blending thoughts gather facts for finalize a long awaited end... it's in the now that changes expressions for a fresh encounter in someone new saying self's name... talkin the same ol shit tongues tasted prior to the distance closing in on a has been yet to realize their truly is nothin to gain... like cash they come n go as we hold on to them as long as hands can cop a feel before poof, gone n ready once again to jus smash... like a flash in the sky as the storm rolls in to cleans the mood of lingering norms... takin torn desires n retractin them to remind self it's the one in the mirror that matters with truths worn... so what's to forget in a phase that passes for lesson to be learned in our second of fame... known until the door locks for the last time seperatin bodies held by another as the flames warms nights to help the mind fora lil while remain sane...

how i know u...

i don't wanna be around when u decide to leave... jus disappear one day so forced to witness what i could never believe... jus have a lil mercy of my heart when the day comes that u feel u can do better... i won't be mad if u were nowhere to be found when i look around n there's nothing but stormy weather... i need no sympathy due to i care for u to be happy no matter where u are... i need not inflict pain towards u n there's no purpose in creating new scars... i already know it's coming n trust me when i say, "it's ok." things change n i never expected u to want me the same... it was for my pleasure to be as close to u for as long as time would allow... jus go when ur ready for the next phase of ur life to begin n i'll understand without a frown... as long as i'm not in the vicinity i won't have the pretend not to see ur eyes one last time... with a look that would tare me apart as u turn n go on about ur way leaving me behind... i don't wanna be stuck with a visual that doesn't resemble the stare u give me prior no feeling it the same no more... know this is as temporary as u choose to be who u are reaching for my core... i can comprehend beginnings have ends... n for every stranger there is the gaining of a friend... so if we could keep it intact it would be great... jus know when u go poof, i don't ever wanna see ur face... how i know u is how it must be when like removes itself from luv... for it's how u will be remembered when strings are cut... we ain't gonna make it when these words aren't making any sense... so jus ease on back live until we drift back into a world so immense... losing sight of what was as it is merely a blind that gets away... i jus wanna be able to smile when i say ur name...