ain't no fun in it... i lost the feel... shits gettin old... i need somethin a bit more real... there's nothin left for me... drives done slipped through my fingertips... grip let go after bein left alone... n i get it... yet the shit seems to be along the lines of childish... n i don't wanna deal with it no more... i haven't a reason to live this way... i'd rather be a whore... isolation set in stone isn't what i want on my tombstone... so who gives a fuck.?. it ain't like they dont look at me any other way... bcuz a friend to me they can't seem to be as they jus wanna be touched... damn... n this is my hand in which i havta play... why is it i gotta participate in these games.?. i don't wanna n i don't have a choice... so why do i hide my face.?. this lonely nonsense shouldn't be my life... i put the time in to have luv call to me... yet, here the fuck i sit... what a fuckin dream.!. when did i sign up for this.?. n the clock still reminds me i'm runnin out of what i can neva get back... as if those i let in should've jus told me to walk away... now i know i'm seen as there's gotta be somethin wrong with me... only if i could get far from this place i wound up bcuz i've been enslaved... by the mind fightin off th heart of what it used to know... i'm done waitin for my turn... i need a face to take the meanin of luv n give it reason to fuck with me... there's no fuckin way i should feel this ache hurt... i want out... a fresh start would be great... but ain't no one hearin me... n it's prolly bcuz i'm either picky or seem to be crazy... even though i'm the normal one unable to scream... let down in every walk i've eva strolled upon... as paths failed to lead me all the way... i don't need or want this so called way of useless time... n i'm done listenin to jus anyone call me by my name... knowin i ain't neva did a random selection... the ones i've held i actually got along with... as they ain't here due to their issues that drove us apart... somethings gotta fuckin give... these long nights are killin me inside... jus to wake with a smile like i refuse some emotion to settle me down... the one thing i ain't neva ran from was the desire to be felt... as others can't get with it long enough to matter without tryin to make me out as a clown... i wanna live too.!. to feel what jus can't to go without me by their side... this goofy shit if for the birds... two of them flicked high for the skies to visualize the pain i try to avoid in my mind...
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