Walking with the wild mind...

Jus like u to run barefoot behind my eyes...
I  too wanna step within the walls of ur mind ticking with time...
So the vibe is worth the ride...
Plunging into the splash that surrounds the feel that could neva hide...
Flicking switches as lights go on n off...
Causing a disco effect that jus wants to get lost...
To dance with u simultaneously as the search comes to a halt...
As home is the only thought...
At one with the flaws that touch back beneath to coming out of wanting to play...
Safe...
Beating the ribs to a pry of opening up the cage...
Upon the lips names need not change...
Friendships relating to the twisted meanings of behave to collide as no one else exists...
Mentally crawling across the flesh walk fingerprints...
Ending the wonder if what the fuck is next...
Knowing in due time, neither ever left...
I jus feel the need to pleasure the things u could use some help with...
With a vision so crisp...
Personal ties are private n neva to reach beyond the kiss..
In every sense, down n unwilling to be missed...

bff...

chasing desires as the flame sparks up life... lived in a different perspective as if in another time... endless stares unfold the carpet aimed straight towards the heart... as it to be believed is extremely hard... strange the feeling of the treaty that awakens the temptation... tolerable for patience moves with caressing eyes... wicked to the tongue to hear the dream come true of u... as the pitter patter of falling in luv cannot hide... from the leash to the chains... hands on feels the break if eva my friend left... lovely if i'd speak of the holdings of picture frames... knowing it's gonna hurt if the day doesn't make another night the chance of a lifetime to have u in these arms lent... hotter than the sky in flame... cores reside of the neva ending of wanted even more... no shame... expressions are pleasantly worn... hunting for solid grounds within a luv'r... as the find gets to digging beneath smirks thrown as if freedom awaits the tenderness of touching flush... levels complete... gone with the rush... wants turn to needs... truths pour like tears that have found there way to a finger that wipes away the pain if eva it came... jus wanting to breathe... clarity finalizing the personal joys felt... trimmed with the pleasures seen... unable to forget the friendship standing on words dealt... first n foremost understanding individuals walk as partners do it together with time... reaping the rewards of the convincing of like minds neva to stray... caught up in the middle of this obscene scene that surrounds the find... resting on the hammock of the ease to go down with the ship jus to capture the tame... all in... rolling around twisting humor as if demented is envied... different as the sunrises wake up to settle in the beauty of night skies captivated by hers n his... it's where passion leaks...

changing values...

it's time that gives up as it alone is what it takes to shake free from a few things... living in a different chapter so the norm is redirected with what life brings... changing patterns learned from one to the next looking back eventually to witness the way shit was... as no limit is set in stone to allow the final effects out that affect the reason to luv... not one case was ever over night that found peace within what meant something worth the willingness to stick around... n it isn't until legs are walking somewhere else that the realization of the thought occurs to the up n up that was once down... silence fucks around with the letting go in due time as the linger sits restlessly with some clicks in the heart catering to the imagination slowly finding a new way to be happy... laughing with the joy that rounds out into the wide open where the old bullshit isn't so maddening... jus letting loose for a chance to come to life's terms of raising the bar of potential... able to gather the feel of emotions for the keep along with the memories that obtain the sentimentals... it's a moment in between the two that needs to relate to the balance of what used to be n what needs to let go of old wants... a transitional stage in which no two people tend to spend the equivalent amount of patience to entertain feelings that haunt... significant positions whether alone or up on someone that's given in as a friend is vital to which way the mind defines self... finding comfort in being okay with the finalized decision to move on past all the hurt n pain that neva had it in relations to gain a damn thing worth passions desire to melt... as eyes connect in the mirror twisted with the image collected as to know better the next run spinning without the flee of crazy legs... easing into a more tolerable lifestyle once the damage reminds the chaos of who chose to partake in such frustrating behavior acting out at the expense of the calling of names... through the coarse it takes to reemerge with the head intact... nothing will matter, not even the facts as value is neva again to be lacked... 

The upside of down

What if you were all alone? Silence bringing your every movement to life as thoughts are thrown. Crisp to the motion in actions to hear yourself from the inside out. Yet unable to listen to emotion make a sound. For it does not speak. Merely in its own world as u can hear the way u breathe. Resting and only allowed to respond with what went so very wrong. Life getting to ya lost behind the box like walls. Looking to over ride the mindset stuck in its own way. With all due respects of you only have yourself to thank. As the silence will begin to enjoy the makings of a new life. What if you actually took your own advice hidden away from the world? Somehow lifted your head and accepted an offer to live a little bit just before a chance that guaranteed luv could indeed uncurl. 

contact...

Eyes playing games from across the room... Working interest into the way they move... Lusts of luv wanted to be acted out... To dance upon the skin n tasted by the mouth...  As far as four walls can stretch... Presence come to a point in life where minds have met... Comin from within to show a lil something of the way self goes... As words sit on the tongue held on mute ready to flow... Stares captivate passion locked the fuck in... As thoughts are shown upon the faces getting down with grins... Touch bein only moments away... Flirtation comes to life with a lil ol game... Do unto me as you'd want me to do unto u... N pleasure will speak with moans put to use... Grabbin at the back of heads beggin the feel to neva stop... Flippin positions from the bottom to the top... All by the makings of the connection of sight... There's jus somethin in a beautiful set of eyes...

On high alert...

Lost arts of emotion in solo minds find unused spaces as foreheads neva learn...

Listenin to the sound of the wall neva seems to dawn on the intensity of concern...

Goin left of center jus to return to the wrap around to see what it is that lurks...

Cuts neva seem to close the same ol way until a few times over places the heart in an urn...

Hurt lingers into pain that resembles faces goin over repeated patterns not yet adjourned...

Roundin back to the beginnings almost desperate to the feel of how luv is designed to flirt...

Settin further away from the point of attack one cannot convert with worth...

Saddened by the lonely feel of forgettin who self is in the moment to reassert...

Temptation in findin what makes the smile cling to the curve of lips as if dessert...

In the middle of the night where words neva seem to have the same affect to blurt...

Tryin to figure a way to divert thoughts to steal the z's gettin away as if fireworks...

On high alert goin through it alone n feelin the mistakes rollin like clockwork...

Jus needin the mornin to swing through the blinds to put on a fake azz smirk...

Artwork of passions patchwork goes unheard as if tones are slurred...

Wantin the password to the gates of distorted sights in the dark blurred...

As absurd as it is to blame the only one who can fix the deffered yet preferred term...

I luv u isn't as easy to say when the simplest feel of self has been concurred by what's occurred...

Straight suckered into the stir of depths is the spinnin legs of a terp...

Artistic in creative gesture days cling to others before self learns of the awaited u-turn...

Fallin back in to the inner makings of dependency as ones n twos find the third...

Still ridin to die as nouns n verbs rip loose in the reflections rebirth...

Lost as found comes full circle of fillin the void peekin in on ones only expert...

All natural...

There's no emotion that's worth the swallow... No pain that intense to tipping up the bottom of bottles... The mind doesn't seem to relate to such immature behaviors... As if the next face is somehow a savior... In the pause clarity knows it's not the luv that hurts... As there's no abandonment forcing distructive words... The mindset only snaps out of a transitional way of life... There's nothing wrong with redefining reasons of why... Aches come with the tenderness of every luv'd one cut loose... Knowing there's no substance that can cover an emotional bruise... As healing is not affected by who self is... The only thing holding one back is the belief in childish bullshit... Weights are merely figurative loses carried on the heart... Always returning to the mind scraping away the char... Feeling betrayed is no excuse to turn against self... For they'd win once again as the head will tilt... Looking at the image in the mirror wondering what the fuck... Hate is caused by the representation of lusts... Fake luv scattered about through memories let go of... As time is the only thing to heal what was... Legal or illegal sobriety failed can't answer the questions seeked... They only prolong life's lil needs... Wanting to feel something real jus come along... After passion took off... Strength is who it is that resides within... Cracked yet unbroken to feel the path of the fracture it took to come to terms... Understanding this will show what self is worth... For there is no deleting the truth... N there's no running from what's not being put to use... The watered down effect only postpones what should have always been... The purpose of the corners raised upon a grin...

Crawling home...

• How is it I don't know where I belong.?. Where is home.?. I jus wanna go to the only place I neva eva wanna leave... So I can for once feel the comfort of my mind being blown...
• 
  
• As I step from within the bars I placed over my heart... I'm lost in a world with a pillow that can't seem to rest... As my imagination wonders with words neva spoken... Why can I not use what's in my chest.?.
• 
  
• All I've eva wanted is to find my way... Yet I drift alone still searching n I don't know why... Where do I go.?. I hate this lonely life...
• 
  
• Even when in relations front doors tend to change... Faces shift into someone new... Time slips behind the scenes... N I am left tryin to pull through..
• 
  
•  I've went at it solo... Tried a few time to makes others happy as that even fell away... So where do I turn find the answer I sell.?. When everything I've ever known is more in luv with pain...
• 
  
• If luv to find a domain filled with the pleasures of life... I'd truly want to spend my days smiling with others... N I know it's not over as of yet... But, I wanna go home n crawl up under the covers...
• 
  
• Whether it be alone as I dream of the day a woman comes to call... Or it be in her arms as she's waited long enough... All that matters is this feeling of goin to waste hasta stop... Where is the luv going on for walls at the connection finds passions touch.?.
• 
  
• Where cooking dinner is a daily thing... Allowing the mind to simple let go of these thoughts... Is there such a place somewhere in dry land.?. Bcuz to that destination I'd be willin to crawl...

Without...

Jus wantin to be what an other won't allow us to be... Insert by reason of who it is we are... Knowin they wouldn't have a fuckin thing to worry about... life moves at the pace of a more conscious heart... Thinking they're a fool for not opening they're word to what stands in the balance of what makes the difference... Damn near list due to finding who brings self or to play... Feeling emotion that settles in the nerve of words of what jus isn't... trapped within with what is unwanted by the one person that escapes... Having the relevance to hittin a main Street jus to bleed out slow... Wrapped up in the loss fading to the feel of nothin left... Dreaming of what things could have been... As personal bests opened up n failed a rigged test...

therapeutic session...

what if i wanted to tell u somethin i hold so fuckin close to my heart.?. if i needed to...what if i cared.?. what other proof would u want me to show u.?.

let's say i spoke up n told u somethin only u n i could know.?. what if it didn't matter who thought it be their business.?. if i were to free the tongue upon the sights of u... if we were the witnesses...

what if i feel u.?. what if i crave to feel ur skin.?. what if luv were real.?. if i let it be known you'd be a lifetime of sinkin in...

one... the one... the only one.. that u alone would be a therapeutic session of fun...

enjoyment like i neva had... what if i were to go mad without u.?. live as empty as u neva comin back... what if times were up.?. then what.?. how would i bounce back from that.?.

from the depths in which i crawl in my heart... what of me.?. if ur mind dismissed the only version of me u know... what if that abnormal direction of self jus wanted to be felt.?. who knows.?.

bcuz i sure don't... i can't come to u n let u in on the secret i carry... what if it were ur hands that opens my heart.?. but i won't say nothin... i'll pretend it is all imaginary...

like dead weight that i shedded as if fat... i need not know of life in any other sense than in which i live... as my heart caters in silence... my wish.!.

what if i were madly in luv.?. if u made me wanna luv more... what if i couldn't shut up.?. what if my voice gave u comfort.?.

but i couldn't be heard... whether standin next to u or in a forgotten world... what if life was different.?. the further away the drift wound up as u n i have no differences...

none worth the feel to matter the most... what if i tripped n u were there.?. helpin me up... if i were to care...

i'd think this way... lose my minds keys as it be opened the fuck up...  what if i passed on an opportunity the same way u did to get what we deserved above all other entanglements.?. who would i be then.?.

goin to waste until ur voice is close enough to reach me... findin new life beyond ur arms folded up... what if i were bein real.?. n i were to talkin of true luv.!.

tucked n shunned...

i haven't said what's been on my mind in quite some time... deep thoughts kept from the way letters create life... outside my mind in a different world that doesn't seem to wanna care... so snuggled to my heart i've had no reason to share... words are damn near leaping into plain sight wanting to speak... yet, who am i to listen to as others are stuck in their own dreams... muted i've become to that raw untameable reason within... as it talks to me waiting of the day it can come out n live... i've held a piece in for me that makes sense to the way i feel... n until i'm ready i refuse to rip it open as it slowly peels... one layer stripped of the tingle down the next as it hasta start all over again... knowin i alone am its truest fan... the one who encourages it to be what it is as in the way it comes... locked away is the expressions having a need to run... as wild as the open space i've made for it to make a home of my head... after everything within me turned for the worst as i wound up damn near dead... there's a special lil tilt to how my nugget leans when i begin to give in to what it claims it will do if freed... but i honestly want it to finally get to know me... so we know how to respond to any n all foreign tendencies that make it through to outter shell... as i hold the key to what's on the tip of my tongues dwell...

how many.?.

How many has had someone else living in their heads.?. Rolling over half way through the night n them not be there... To the point where enough is enough... How many has actually cared.?. Fighting images that will not allow u to sleep... Bringing back they're face when eyes have been closed... Waking from dreams lost in another time... How many people can honestly say without them, there's not a feeling of alone.?. Missing the tone of their voice that mutes any other sound... Pausing in the middle of the day wondering into thin air... How many have crossed over n are presently living in the now.?.

not here...

tasteful names of deceit is all i know... luv'n rivals of opposing genders with unwanted thrones... friends to foes as strangers reemerge... with tongues that speak of nothing more than slurs... closet enemies have watched my back... as far from the distance traveled walk amongst my path... faces changed with the turn of heads on spins that swiveled... losing time as a loss for their very own pleasure... felt to be failed for selfish needs... seems every one of them hated to see me breathe... as both decides one separate life was to be unattached... disintegrated into the thin air in which blew their breezy scent as of yet unmatched... loons outta control as hate refills drained emotion with distasteful flaws... once a sight to be reckoned with cracks its hairline fracture one to many impacts breaks a squaw... shuga britches run with crazy legs as hearts have a conflict of interests... as the collide is remembered with the memories left to die with differences that diminish raw uncut foul mouth crisp n to the point linguists.. .as the mentioning of referral boils to jus go.!. claiming to be the one as willingness reacts in the mirrors chrome... betrayal buries body bags with thoughts stuffed into the drift walking away... all from a lil twinkle in the eye that found nothing more than the vanity butt fucking naked as the best with no debate... lies talk sooner than the mind can grasp what's good n who's fucked in the head... taking out pleasures of lusts not only upon the surfaces of beds... depths wrap around the clinch of being to late... stuck with an implant of a waste of faces captured in places unable to relate... palms find the shady sides of a few trees after the rendezvous goes off course... as no more... as routes are detoured... roots being torn... lifestyles are chosen over the desire to continue with the landfall sliding down the backside of no return... it hurts... friends never make it out alive... from the beginning of a new found life to the dead end of poetic pride... nothing matters in the middle of the mix... it's all chalked up to bullshit... the feeling... the desire... pain even takes a side step as luv is retired... making a stranger come out to play only seems to lose base with reality... bcuz after it's all said n done, it's back to individually... knowing their eyes said they were down from get go... as it now goes... my life, one simple rule... worth plays no fool...

i wanna...

i wanna open up... i wanna feel the way i could be luv'd... i wanna find that one place i can call home... i wanna know my worth will neva again be alone... i wanna slip into bed... i wanna crawl beneath the covers n give some head... i wanna wake in the mornin to a face that's happy to have me... i wanna walk away from these dreams... i wanna feel somethin i ain't neva felt before... i wanna know what that is as i open that door... i wanna know i'm fuckin with someone who knows how to maintain... i wanna hear them laugh as they say my name... i wanna see maturities speak to me... i wanna listen in on that convo as we simply breathe... i wanna leave the child like women in my past... i wanna find somethin i can't seem to outlast... i wanna drift until i find those arms that hold on for dear life... i wanna live with the knowin that my emotions will neva havta hide... i wanna be friends with the one that isn't so gloomy for they'd steal my shine... i wanna be me in a time where relations can wake n say hi... i wanna gain memories i can keep after all... i wanna eat at a table that took a team to prepare with a drink of alcohol... i wanna know what the real thing is... i wanna accept it n let it tickle that giggle in my rib... i wanna sit silently n jus feel the way we connect... i wanna reset what it is i think of women in my head... i wanna trust the way i used to once upon a time ago... i wanna call bs if luv eva refuses to grow... i wanna be understood in which way i come... i wanna walk away from this feelin of becomin numb... i wanna excite the notion of motion as who it be walkin my way... i wanna know them as the one i can count on for they will neva stray... i wanna give in n be held down doin my part... i wanna see what it;s like if someone else matched me from the start... i wanna wake up to deep passion as the days turn into nights... i wanna have my final diddle say they were in my life...

the real...

i'm good... things could be better, yet, they should... choices landed me in between a lesson n gettin things back on track... damn it feels good knowin the facts... tjhose in which make me who it is i am as no one knows the intent i come with... yeah, i'm hidden from hands that feel the need to have someone in their lives worth a candle flicked... but i sit with patience waitin on time to give back what i put in to my own life... n there's no worries of edges of sharpened knives... nor another addition that come on to quick as those kinda ends hurt somethin real... therefor i stick to a promise made to self due to i've already been healed... n my word will not move from beneath my foot until i've gotten me in order... lines have been drawn like invisible borders... no one is allowed to come behind the scenes where my emotion is as raw as cut from a mothers womb... i am the new life i needed to correct what i decided was good for me that went so fuckin far off key til my own mind went kaboom... this is me written for a later date to come back on so i know focus was the best thing i coulda had... so to me readin this somewhere in the near future, i ain't mad...

spittin truths...

seems the tongue has found a few choice words... on some shit i ain't neva said so i know it hasn't been heard... as if ears could hear me speak the truths... like you'd listen if i were to give it to u... u see, my time is open with nothin to do as i think back on certain things... n it's come to me that i luv'd u when u were sober  right around that moment i gave u that ring... no harm no foul as i allowed u to show me exactly who it was i was supposed to be... to someone like u jus livin without a care as i was a good laugh to the way luv leaked... n it's cool n all, i jus thought i'd get a few things out on my way of movin on as i waste time here by myself... to rid u of the facts u need not agree with knowin ur to fuckin immature to give an old friend a lil help... i've been there remember.?. sittin right by ur side as we went hand in hand until the drugs turned u away as if my head was dismembered... but like i said, i'm cool with the way ur honesty spoke of us with the child like versions u through out into the world with a tongue that couldn't tell the truth... i'm glad there is no me n u... the face u showed me is all u needed to give to mew as life is one track knowin u cannot get to me... n that's sad for as long as i known u i didn't think you'd eva do me the way u did driftin with dead beats... so tootles as i write this one outta boredom so i can see me outside myself makin things clear... i'll neva miss u n i'll neva come a runnin again as u fall into my rear... viewed as the one who thought me of self so i knew who it is i wanna be... as i end this with one magical word jus bcuz i found, peace.!.

Jus u n i...

If I ain't the fantasy that lingers behind those eyes... Steps will keep u moving to find who it is u have in ur hidden mind... Don't let me bite n I won't climb aboard the choo-choo locomotive... Ain't nothin worse than opening the memory banks in the opposite way when u get to rollin... Keep it real n allow time to be enjoyed n see where it goes... Knowin it's a play date with very lil emotion as it be more sexual for the fun of it as fingers roam...  Taken the distance of sensual tendencies felt n met as bodies meet... Having a side dish of a friend to do a lil something with waiting on our dreams... Enjoying a lil shade kickin it til nights pull up at home where we live alone... Solo in different positions in life payin our owns bills as we return home... Gettin to what we do in a daily jus to hit the line talkin about I need some... Hearing tones spit shit like how far through the house are u willin to run.?. Playful to the finest details jus to have a piece of the pie... Bcuz if it isn't all in, were jus wasting time... Contradicting what the opening presentation was that spoke into one ear n right out the other floating in thoughts wanting to come alive... N u know I'm right... As honesty is mentioned in a way I could personally use someone, a lil something jus like u... Hold out if u must bcuz it's ur loss n lack of pleasure that insists on the empty wonder of use... Or flow with the imagination that leaks from that sensitivity down there in between ur legs... I believe u need someone like me as that one person to break u the fuck off on a reg...

my creations... diddle 3366

missin the one thing that rarely hits words written outloud... my kids all have found somethin else to do n are preoccupied with life's wows... the feelin of this emptiness is changin the mindset in which i've come to know... for it's been over 20 yrs since it was jus me as the last of mine is damn near wantin to leave home... foreva my babies in my heart i am grateful to call them my own emotion that i have lived for... knowin before them i didn't want kids as i would've been fine with closin that door... even  though they've come along to give more meanin to me than any other being here of this plane... without them i feel a piece of me goin insane... knowin they're jus a phone call away it's to far from hearin the sound of their voices up close n personal... n all i'll evs need is the be present when they say ilu dad within their own words... mine is mine n i'm findin i havta share them with those who they feel the need to live with on their side... as i sit here feelin lost without them of them as each one is crossin my mind...

how i come to handle it...

jus kickin it whereva my legs can go...
standin on my own to feet on a slow roll...
movin to the beat of what matters the most...
settin emotions adrift as i'm lost in a coast...
cruise control jus finds a way to have some fun...
as my mind from relations run...
set into a mode where moods don't change...'
unable to hear interest call out my name...
life took a turn n here i am...
with a promise to self to stand back up as a man...
goin the distances traveled alone...
tryin not to hurt nor harm no one...
my body won't sit still with money to be made...
it knows piecin life back together isn't too late...
alone is a must as i carry no friends...
to get close is to find myself in another end...
so i've took flight with birds that lift me up...
it'll be some time before i open up to luv...
for i only want it if it's gonna take me home...
where a waste isn't that of leavin behind whoas...
inchin on down the road i feel me incomplete...
for hands have touched me in which had no need...
findin ruins of hard work taken for granted...
n this here is how i come to handlin it...
gettin on with my own will so i to can live...
even though life's passin me by with not much to give...
as porn gets the attention an other would luv to obtain...
yet, i've already died as this is my awakenin...
it's me as i'm the one i can count on...
there is no more feelings worth bein torn...
that'll come in due time somewhere in my next phase...
as i can trust whoever it be that speaks my name...

the rights of mine...

waitin on the hands that trigger how words were meant to be said...
lettin loose in the middle of life grippin chance off the topside of beds...
time rolls like a wheel to the ends of this endless emotion holdin facts...
knowin voices gathered to the summons of reality left in the past...
patience is a mindset keepin the heart at bays sights of sunsets found alone...
jus lookin for a way to walk through the light outta a darkened room n roam...
walkin on with the steps it takes to hold on to someone willin to fit in...
pourin on the depths of how far down they've reached in to find grins...
as self wants them to remain in the change together lookin in on life comin out...
playin with a mental capacity to allow the child like chuckles to make sounds...
in total alignment with the feel of comfort spread throughout a home...
runnin off echos that ricochet anything left from a prior engagement left to grow...
silently awaitin a blast to take passion to another level where life simply cannot hide...
no matter to wrongs that can be corrected into the rights of mine...

pullin the mind along...

more in to the inability to say no is emotion pullin the mind along for the ride... whether it be rain sleet or shine... weather has no reason to halt the feel of luv... as goin in is a matter of easin into the lean of touch... tryin to get beneath the skin without mentionin a foreva bcuz it's a lie... tempted by the ways of a friend here in life... someone to separate the mind from all that runs into arms so joy can find its destination to turn smile.... followed by the mental aspect that resides with the error of trials... knowin the heart jus wants to be filled with what could neva go wrong... without gettin trapped within every lil fuckin song... as real as wakin to the days that roll to see their face... one that doesn't wanna leave a partner in a mate... as payin the price jus isn't one the agenda of livin without them anymore... so it's the click that locks in the passion safe from this cold world benind closed doors... as free to go about motions that speak to the silence of layin as still as words... untamed n findin worth... opened up by eyes from the outside lookin in to a place no one is allowed to go... givin meanin to the acception when hands find the feel of texture laid about as now know... traveled upon with fingertips that round curves for the simple facts that two people are finally alone... livin in that zone where nothin prior has no relevance to a lil space called home....

sacred...

There's nothin like a good set of lips u trust to kiss u right dead smack in the middle of ur words as ur releasing ilu...

Feelin their breathe move u into that sacred place within where they fern for u in a return set of eyes locked in with truths...

The passion that explodes is more than friends comin to life in ways luv tells like it's for real n is here to remain as the one...

Straight to th epoint from the bottom of the heart to fill the empty to the tips of tops overflowin knowin you've made it home...

There's no comparison to the exchange of emotions that linger through thin air n land with ease on the tongue not needin to speak...

As time adjust the memory as if nothin up to the present eva fuckin mattered due to the smiles that pay attention to tears that leak...

Completely in tune with a luv'r cuddle up to the side talkin pillow jibberish jus bcuz u found that one person that brings u from within...

Lost in a moment to live the dream most neva find as they chase silhouettes across planes that neva seem to end...

Knowin u can open up jus bcuz u fuckin can n there's nothin anyone can do to take away the most beautiful thing as bodies bend...

In motion with tone tastin the moisture of lusts turnin into the real deal right before u very own eyes as u jus wanna play...

Nothin can relate to how they single u out asif called out to come get everything you've eva wanted in the awakenin of nights that turn to days...

passin through myself...

feelin the pits recently stirred... lately it's been a task to find words... all that comes to terms is this solo act callin out to an empty room... as beautifully achin they may seem i don't know the direction of the next move... stuck is time tryin to figure out where home may be... as if it's in a set of arms or alone behind locked doors... is there any difference in the way scenes detour.?. i feel rapped of my memory here in the dark... tappin out my thoughts hidden on this site... i ache n no one knows i've been mind fucked for so fuckin long here in actin out life... n it ain't the pain from past times that kill my intent... it's the reason in which i cannot afford the comfort due to what needs to be done before my heart insists... somehow i wound up here flippin pages in my mind... tellin a story i don't wanna share bcuz we've all heard the boo whos  time after time... yet the shit is real in which i cannot allow someone in... i gotta trust me first n that alone is not fair to any one of them... that is if i were to look up n see someone standin with the patience i need to get this into play... yes, i am goin to waste... but i had my choices n i hinestly do noy know who failed who... was it me that led me down the road to be fooled.?. or was it the trust i was told not to give to passion that evaded me.?. as it doesn't matter at this point n i could care less for i'm jus tryin to breathe... friends don't seem to add much to relations so i stay buried in this unrecognizable space... this is jus the way it is as of late...

movin on with no recollection of life...

it's the memories that carry different faces u can't seem to keep...
as the lettin go rounds out that there's nothin else left...
there's no way to take em with u when they're all u have...
when thoughts aren't allowed to linger in the emotion of self...
it's when u sit still n realize there's not one good time that can live...
shuttin down on the remembrance of luv'rs walkin through...
time feels lost as if life was neva fuckin lived...
over n again the mind wonders as if damn near lost to use...
not knowin what to think as if alone is all there eva was...
as to forget is a must bcuz they couldn't make it to the now...
the empty echos in the what the fucks that sting jus a lil...
when lookin within the walls of the mind n there's nothin found...
jus dead relations that promised it was u in their hearts...
passion is to find yet someone new to reside...
feelin incomplete due to no one is supposed to be recalled...
there's nothin quite like the shallowness that ends life...
n strenght ain't got shit to do with whateva words that come about...
on the best days it's still self lookin into selfies gone astray...
with the feelin of the absence of what couldn't be...
worth hurts more than invisible scars healed until nothin else remains...
in the dark is where alone is chased by facial expressions so alive...
twistin depths as if a dagger has dug up what was supposed to be gone...
achin in solitude set a drift with the wonder of why...
runnin from those damn emotional fuckin songs...
tryin not to remember characters that's turned n walked away...
knowin it was thire bs they couldn't admit...
as what's left has been drilled into the mind...
when all u want is to forget the taste of thier unforgettable lips...

drip with me...

cut me open n let me bleed... at the bottom of the bullshit that has become me... insert ur interest into me heart... don't worry if it leaves a scar... it be worth the feel of the drip emptying me for u... that is if the wound isn't to much for u to watch me be removed... make a slit, an incision at my lowest point needin a friend... i need not carry the weight that'll only cause more trouble bringin forth a new end... one lil hole as if a pin prick is to drain me for once... i'm tired of drownin with this ship as my white flag is my surrender to luv... rip me open n remove anything that will refuse to go as it clings to what is in ur hands... clean house n set up shop n watch life come back to this man... i jus wanna be relieved by the imprisonment that has captivated my attention taken... i'm willin if you'd see fit to relate... if i could drill into the underside of ur own emotion hung up on the details or ur past... as we could come to terms that life is so much more than what did not last... chasin off the unwanted ghosts that come n go bcuz no one else has filled us whole... there's no point in bein alone if what's before us as it's different in the makings of a home...

touchin the feel of comin up...

did u ever stop to watch me lose what brought me to life.?.
as tears fell from the thoughts unbound by the broken mind...
when u laughed at the pain u inflicted that tore me from limb to limb...
name one time u felt ur best friend dyin within the luv u ran with...
have u ever since u claimed to be the one to never walk away...
jus once thought about who's face has forever changed.?.
were u proud to be what turned me inside out jus to divide me inside.?.
as the games turned ur own promises into wicked lil lies...
when u held the power that held me up...
what was it that fell from the way in which we fell in luv.?.
did u ever stop n think of what u were doin to me...
to the only one that was there when no one else gave a fuck about how u came from ur seams.?.
i wasn't gonna write this n i've held it in for some time now...
but words cannot hide if i'm to complete my own life past the end of vows...
how was it u could release me so easily.?.
as my ever after is better off without u actin so sleazily...
who in the fuck did u think u were.?.
as i allowed u to dig ur hole so i knew my own worth...
where did u think i'd be other than by ur side.?.
bcuz i'm still here n i am alive...
lookin up at the memories i'm not allowed to keep...
as it's alright by me due to u weren't who u were supposed to be...
touchin the feel of comin up, it's ur loss not mine...
u can no longer slit me open for i've taken away ur last knife...

reluctant...

help me understand why emotion is afriad... knowin it's more than ok to fall into arms worth luv's fame... tell me this case of fear is jus a figment of my imagination... bcuz i'm scared of the scars that heal as i feel i have no destination... is it somethings been stlen from within... have i lost one to many fuckin friends.?. wht won't my mind allow my heart to feel anything other than what i need to be doin.?. when it has to idea of where either of them are goin... nothin is broken bcuz i am functionin jus fine... yet, i get lost in silence as it's become the only way i know how to spend time... who is it u see standin as an image in ur head... as solo as i am as still as i am relunctant to join u in ur own bed... nerves shake when air has been shoved to the side so bodies can get close... i'm fadin n i don't know how to stop this fiasco... as eyes follow my movement n i wonder if they know i'm outta reach... does my truths show as my actions are alone n muted by relations touchin the need.?. i felt me come to life when i found time to reflect on who it is i am... so how come life resides here damn near cryin to be seen as a man.?. as my smile only works when i mingle with this strange unfamiliar world... i'm petrified to encounter sexual contact as it would'nt be hard to make a set of toes curl... only if i could see myself on paper instead of the mirror that lies straight faced as i turn away... holdin on to my desires n playin it's childish games... i cringe as excitement lurks in my direction bcuz i know what is waitin on the other end of relation if i eva allow them to start... all without a hole in my very own heart.... as it's not where i've been i'm hangin on to... i jus don't know where i belong in the hands of use... strangers find me to be what i cannot witness within myself... sittin high upon my lonely shelf i believe i could listen to what cannot be felt... twisted n shown to me in a way i'd be able to come back out... as eva that is far fetched as i ask myself, how.?.

Eraticated...

Lost in movements goin through life... Wonders take control of thoughts caught in a rewind... With nowhere to go even emotion asks what the fuck... Jus lingering without a reason so distant from luv... Past the phase of self righteousness to say the least... Losing time as the body sleeps... Alone n aware there's no one near the comfort goin to waste... As dead expressions consume the face... Forcing habits to bring smiles to the edge of lips... Knowin the solo trip isn't worth the loneliness... Misplaced is the feel of becoming someone to a friend willing to behave... One that understands the difference between luv n hate... Missing is the forgotten tone taken that speaks the truths.. Damn near extinct is the sounds that reside in moans put to use... As hope resides to be irretrievable by the hearts ache calling out... Without a way to recover self as gone defines where home went for it cannot be found... Poof, happiness disappeared a while back leaving the silence to have it's way... It's funny how passion always tends to go astray...

away from me is u...

fuck u...

ilu...

i hate u...

i need u...

i miss u...

i can't stand u...

i knew u...

i know u...'

i feel u...

i released u...

i found u...

i lost u...

i misplaced  u...

i cling to u...

i am for u...

i run from u...

i hide from u...

i've opened up to u...'

who are u.?.

i forgotten about u...

i remember u...

 i wish i neva knew u...

i wanna be with u...

my minds on u...

my heart wants nothin to do with u...

ur all about u...

i'm no one to u...

i'm everything to u...

i'm lost without u...

i found me without the help from u...

a friend was u...

a foe is u...

 luv turned away with u...

good times refuses u...

i forgive u...

u saved me from u...

nights changed bcuz of u...

life needed u...

worth insists on stayin away from u...

thoughts find u...

time reminds me of u...

hope rejects u...

oh how i luv'd u...

how i don't claim u...

i resist u...

for i breathed u...

there is no me n there is no u...

i'm through with u...

after once holdin u...

i feel nothin for u...

felt all n the above with u...

a fool could neva want u...

ur u...
i'm the real me without u...
away from me is u...

Annihilation...

As life moves around me with faces of poetic expression...
I rest in the silence darkened by endless luv thrown away as if the unwantin of self is no good for I feel I am the irritation...
In my own damnation...
Fightin for life to return to my very own annihilation....
Yet, emotion is the act of exoneration...
Unable to feel the willingness of words lead to believe an others interpretation...
I'm in no need for selfish retardations...
Nor the journey of the hearts exploration...
I've already been redefined as I rest within my own dimensions...
Cut loose from syllables that collect words into actin out meaningless misdirections...
Findin luv to be like clock work always thinkin of someone else more than self as it's self bein selfish for the way they make self feel at the end of every truthful reconciliation...
It's friendships takin on the rolls of imitations...
As passion unwinds to realize the effect of intimidations...
Forcin the facts of unity attackin individualities communication...
As the fallin away is a must with the clarity of impersonations...
Life walks with no one who can not feel emotions deliberation...
Feelin the lettin go occur in between thoughts pausin for the redirection...
Findin faces on the backside of eyelids that escape the minds constant inspections...
Lookin inward for the leftovers one tends to release the drift of unwanted emotions...
No longer in the mood for the demise of lonely demonstrations...
Patterns walk with sights loosenin the feel of frustrations... 
Ways of life change n find the inevitable reconstruction...
Crucnhin memories into wads of paper holdin use n thrown into the waste of rehabilitation...
Knowin what's been is no fuckin exaggeration...

ten toes curled...

the further the steps, the more away from once upon a time has any affect...

as the heart within a fool is wantin the feel somethin normal on the mind that refuses to give into interest... 

chilled on ice cuttin time from emotions with a snap of a sickle...

the face hides truths held in as if a cycle turns eyes into missiles...

locked in with the absence of passion to relate to why others are not allowed in...

in the motion of goin inward to doin what's needed to save luv from the stench...

one to many blows have seen friends come n go before the promised end that came prior to wantin to eva walk away...

opened in different ways, the saloon doors found dust on rusted hinges along with the carvin of names purposely engraved...

displayin on the outter shell of what feels like a sleeve drippin with thoughts dried up n peekin back at life...

raw temptation suffers the most damage when the head can't seem to look up n witness the beauty of bein alive...

twisted textures like sponges drip to absorb what's been rung of what can never be...

rollin with hands that spin on clocks tick from seconds pushin to far gone caterin to endless dreams...

people all appear to have the same visual to sights followin movements orchestratin touch into the flow of collateral damage yet to come full circle...

toes crawl through days tryin to escape patterns that cringe of findin others joy more important than that there of ones own somehow hurdled...

restless minds fall under transitions runnin from the explosion that scares scar tissue into the ol familiar gapin wounds of desire overflowin with the rush pourin out...

as it's quiet sittin in the silince of solitudes cave in which echoes from time to time with lips that bounce to open the mouth...

chuckles are only found in mirrors that turn from the brutal chance to overcome the distance already traveled from others that for some reason cannot be trusted...

the tenderness is livin for a moment to sneak up on the fleein memories n one day come to terms with overthrowin the void of luvless...

believin interaction is the betrayal of self jus ignorin the attempt is as simple as tryin to live past the wall felt on impact...

smiles don't rondezvous quite like they once have partaken in the mystery of gettin to where comfort is more than intact with the none negotiable facts...

forcin space in the middle of reachin limbs as air slips through arms with a need to hold on to what they wanna feel as if no one can eva be tamed...

shuttin down can't dig any deeper  due to the pit that only fills with the floodin of unwanted rains forced on to dry lands by fierce hurricanes...

as flirtation is wantin to meet self willin to admit to the honesty of use that's unable to live without an added addition lookin back like no other...

pain rambles with a voice from the inner makings of hope that cripples a friendship lost beyond lines that have been crossed as gone is as good as the reminder that they were merely jus another luv'r...

goodbyes only chissle their way in to the extremely gifted of fallin completely the fuck apart...

worth alone comes to the front lines at war with relations to protect what gets to close to ten toes up as luv's true untold art...

tears need not fall behind the scenes where words knock as if we didn't know it find a noose entangled with tones to dangle with...

as given up is those repeated patterns missed within untameable kisses left out to be blown away with the wind...

Checking in...

Walking around in the empty...  Taking in the feel of what failed to continue to make the heart happy... Reaching to touch the tenderness left that healed the tips of fingers... Finding self captivated by the way of the soothe in which the release lingers... Taking to the remains of pains that's come back to remenise with the mind... Noticing the cuts that have made scars as the body keeps moving along with life... Jus opened space entertaining the thrill of an old friend to come n remind the forgotten swing... All to it's own in the dark without a candle to ignite the explosion at the beginnings of yet another fling... Behind the door in the center of the tuck hidden away is the depths sending requests of a friend... Unable to give a response as the locks click listening to the tumbler insist... Alone in solitude sits the real me in time out in the final stages of piecing together worth... Never again to ever fall to hands as checking in only hurts...

Neva Eva...

I Inow what a woman is... I've seen them lock on to others... But I ain't neva been touched by one... All I've eva known is replaceable luv'rs... I spent that untameable emotion like I was gonna get something in return... Felt who it was I am that woke the fuck up... Held on to all the wrong ones for of them I needed to learn... But I ain't a once had a friend mean how they've expressed luv... I've watched them bounce from one goofball to the next... Unable to look my way... Findin interest mean a lil somethin different to the way they invest... Nothin was ever long term as I remain same... Curious to the fact to who in the fuck is gonna step up... Feeling the same way I feel sittin here right now... Bcuz I haven't been fortunate enough to experience trust... All I've ever heard is immaturities lie with a raw tongue to entertain me somehow... N I'm on the edge of lookin of into the distance with hope... Waitin on the one that tickles the tender zone within... As they can't be on nor have eva been on the dope... I think of the day the mirror looks at me n tells me to go play with my friend...

Steppin in is the steppin out...

I wanna go... Jus take that passage through to the other side... To somewhere I don't know... To wherever it is I gain a piece of mind... It sucks here...  Unable to get what the heart is willin to give... Watchin the back exposed to those comin up from the rear... I wanna live... Right up the middle n off I go... Over there where time ticks a lil different... As it's my name that's known... So emotion can be spent... Fallin at the edge... Knowin I'm not comin back... Intact with the thoughts in my head...  So fuckin far away from my past... Steppin in to a new life with a different kinda thrill... Feeling my existence come alive... As the empty region of my own is filled... I don't wanna havta worry about friendly knives... To the distance of goin all the fuckin way... Opened up to a friends peace... Never again enslaved... Havin an honest need in me... Outta this cave in which I've dug... From here to there... As I jus can't help but to want the luv... With someone who actually fuckin cares.!. Findin the steppin in is the steppin out... Transferrin my patience into a gentler touch... As sound is secondary to what's been found... Never again to look in the reverse mode at what used to be as a once was...

Boys under armor...

Lil boys in men's bodies worn as if a sleeve... Fakin the phunk jus wantin in between a woman's seams... Makin the real ones appear to be jus as shallow as they've become... It's childs play as they hit it n step into the goin away as they run... Ain't got it in em the feel a female once they give up the goods... Simple lil bastards only thinking with their misdirected wood... On the down backside of feelin her skin... They find it funny to bust lose at the ribs... Takin into account all the minds that redirect intent towards those like me... Lookin in the reverse at the opposing gender as if we were to meet... Runnin into issues that wasn't caused by a real man... Bad judgement in the disguise of immaturities damned... Broken by the hands of a so called male... Pretendin she's felt as the end winds up failed... They jus wanna touch what they do not have... Hormonal delinquents wantin to get their dicks wet... Offering what they could neva give from their empty chests... In full camouflage in patience for the dog to dig in so deep... Needin to penitrate as a falsified friend in need... Sex is on the mind as shallowness revolves thoughts on a youngsters world... As it's sad that those who should be grown still carry on as if it's boys verses girls...

Taking notice...

Looking through life at ur angle... Following ur footprints as my feet get tangled... Jus for a bit so eyes can zoom in on the fit... Trying to figure on if ur someone I wanna live with or jus lick... Rolling with time I'mIwinding up all up in ur face... Unwound n comin undone here as of late... As taking notes is a mental interest that penitrates the mind... Puncturing the heart is not careful to luvsl design... I'm howling like a wolf up under the moon... Digging in past the Annabel of light locked into a single room... Wanting to see in education direction u fly... Anticipating if I can feel the need to join ur side... Soaring as weed float beyond where we've been... Standing here I'd like to know how it is u live...

fazes...

once we get past the physical attraction..
feelin that whole ora of attachments...

comin to terms that there is indeed more...

findin our way behind closed doors...

when we relate to each other wantin to play...

as the mind agrees with the heart needin to misbehave...

to touch the mystery of luv's fear...

talkin on the same pillows that has collected tears...

tones turnin to whispers needin to be heard...

eyes tellin truths of the unspoken words...

where time seems to wait on us...

goin back n forth with tongues becomin flush...

wrapped up in a moment of silence tamin the feel..

what would come of us if we were the real deal.?.

friends before luv could intervene n turn emotions raw...

as like holds our own understandin our flaws...

beyond the initial interest where hello's come to life...

as that spark lights n entangles a passion that cannot hide...

prior to knowin who it is that stands before reason...

tucked into the curiousity where hands tend to begin the squeezin...

as the beginnings of ends flips the switch...
do we wanna become a dick n a bitch.?.

if it were u n i...

how long would the joy be defined.?.

as the walk together flutters through our existance hand in hand...

with blowin winds sizzlin the extinction of plans...

jus on the other side of knowin everything there is to know...

seein what needed to choose the destination of home...

lettin loose in the exact memory that begins the truths of the heart...

there is where it starts...

lookin back at all the things that give worth...

as minds are made up to what's in the feel of bein hurt...

once there is somethin to lose...

who's who.?.

with the depth of honesty exposed...

as individuality unfolds...

watchin fantasies n hope rest at the seams...

waitin to see if the connectivity is strong enough to hold on to dreams...

or if reality is what it seems...

there's a split second to decide on wants n needs...

it's not only the good times that linger through a day...

tryin on luv is a fit or it's jus another game...

goin through the motions of where we are here in life...

tears work both ways as we cry...

walkin with happy feet to our destination of use...

as we get there to see who actually pulls through...

so, under a candle lit room racin with the way we breathe...

will u remember me in the way i'd be or think of me differently.?.

strength in relations come from within as the good dhit neva lets go...

unable to turn away n allow someone else to have their moans...

from the romance to the friendship set free...

there's two opposin ways in which we leak...

freed to be who we are as one...

n released to unchain the temple from the guns...

when close enough to destroy intent...

am i the one to get ur best.?.

standin with u as ur version of perfection cloned...

if u were lost without me, would u miss me if u were to let me go.?.
starin u in the eyes after all the good i've done...
into me would u run.?.
visualizin what would come of the restless nights...
all we will eva have is time...
is ready a figure of speech or a way we can remain flush.?.
through the pain that comes from endless luv...
gettin on wit the visuals captured in pics taken to witness us...
am i the purpose u trust.?.
as we get this show on the road n now on the same page...
how would u feel if it were my face.?.
in ur everyday knowin i ain't like the other...
so much more than a lingerin luv'r...

the further on down the line he goes...

a man is only capable of luv twice in his lifetime... jus before he takes refuge n hides... that honest one where he doesn't wanna do without u type of shit... tastin ur name every fuckin time he licks his lips... the first one is always for keeps n if it falls through, the second is of knowin where he went wrong as she's in fuckin trouble... windin him up more mentally with it as a couple... anything after that it's all game n up for grabs bcuz he doesn't wanna keep losin friends... those in which that were supposed to make it til the end... as that always seems to come way to soon... if he truly luv's her, he doesn't wanna call it through... by the third time if he's forced that far down the line there's gonna be some questions he's gonna ask himself... n answers are needed as guild lines to help... he ain't built for the emotion cargo of to many faces that'll haunt him for sure... he won't be lookin for the same ol cure... time will be taken so he can enjoy someone willin to not only stick around but to do their part... mendin his own heart...

askin for me as my best friend...

if i tried... could u see me as i opened the door to ur mind... or would it be locked.?. movin the hands of time forward as if daylight savings time on ur clock.?. before i get to gettin to know what i could neva forget... where is it in ur thoughts i fit.?. do i havta wait for fall to come around so i can catch up to u wantin to feel someone close.?. if i cared to show u there's some fuckin hope... would u need the chasin or would u be able to witness me in raw form.?. on the outside jus thinkin about in which way ur goin... i don't wanna follow what i can walk beside... as i need jus one if it be u to reach in the way i wanna touch everything within ur life... if i attemptin to speak of the lil things that make small talk wind up on the pillow chattin all night... if my curiousity found its way to ur front door... what is it within me you'd wanna explore.?. if i were to not fight u off... if i wasn't to resist ur luv... the wait could be over as we've been patient on who it is to come a knockin... findin interest i am jus one man dyin here alone... jus wantin to lay my head at home... so if i told u i walk with only a silhouette without a face... is it possible it be my lips you'd wanna taste.?. don't u think it be nice to have someone who ain't gonna stray.?. in a moindset of no matter what puttin us first night n day... it all starts with a lil give to figure the direction of relations is all... n i'm not into the chaos for i jus want to take a moment n pause... if u memories neva again had to be erased... if u could seriously enjoy the time put in to my name... as i'd define ride or die unlike how others couldn't understand the concept... if who i was is jus me doin my best... as simple as it gets... would u wanna live.?.