Something ain't right...

Times ticking n I can feel my chest... I won't be around till the end like I hoped but I'm doin my best... The feel of my heart at times aches n idk why... Yet as far as everyone knows I'm perfectly fine... Damn flutters tell me something ain't right ya know... Like I don't believe I have as many yrs left here as I jus wish they'd move slow... My pump skips as it's irregular at times... But I'm always alone so no one can see me cringe for my life... Mom's died at 48 n pops has 7 stints... What an I to do but I'm damn near as old as they were when chaos made em both flinch... As it's not this world I'm worried about leaving behind... It's my 3 that'll have go on without me the way I had to back in 99... Will I make it.?. Idk...b all I know is something ain't right n the shit has me thinkin my own...