Only in my dreams...

I seen her face again last night as I was lost in a dream... I swear I could feel it as my hands gently eased her head upward to look at me... N as I stared in hee eyes it didn't feel as if I was sayin goodbye... We were still in our moment as our lips met passin time... N in these illusions of us that pop up uncontrolled... Sneakin up on me at my most vulnerable moments as life is put on hold... With every single time I lose another part of my luv for her that's been reawakened... All I wanna do is forget about an emotion forsaken... I'm haunted by what's left that doesn't exist until I'm gone behind my closed eyes... I guess that's the one place I cannot hide behind the lies... On the other side of where I awaken as I come back here... Without her n better off for the luv is gone as it took some years n flowed away with the tears... It's not the person but the feel of emotion I find myself leanin in to... Everytime she sneaks up on my passed out clinging to my truce... I went deep like I do every night as I fade... N all I want her to do is leave me be with this game... Even though I know it's not her but my own mind rotatin old thoughts... Deep into the darkness as I lay still n snuggled to her in a pause... Unwillingly my consciousness hands over control to my subconscious jus wantin someone to be real... N all it's known is a friend I thought I had to feel... As now I fight away her memory to get back to me... So someone who truly wants to find me can enjoy me in more than my dreams... I believe I need to open back up so my time isn't wasted on thinkin of why she still walks through my head... As she's quickly met... Attemptin to stroll at will through my saloon like doors... Stompin on my insides til my heart luvs me no more... There's nothin left to give to entertain the presence of her stuck in my mind with the passion we once shared that no longer exists... As with true intent I get it n no longer give a shit... I don't wanna sleep if she's there to bother my mood... Yet I have no one that's stepped up to who gives a hoot...