on some bs

I've had the time of my life.
N I've found myself wondering.
Been in what was thought to be luv.
N found myself smothered upon other things.
There n back as i sit within lookin on.
The train of thought lost belief.
Emotion ruined who it was i stood.
Gone now is the hypnotic present relieved.
Time alone brought me into focus.
Pretending i cannot do.
I can't apologize for not losing a step.
An other couldn't make that gave proof.
Life spoke louder than running out of my mind.
N I've tempted myself to lose it.
Got to the edge of reason n realized i remain.
It was the tension of others that faded on some bs.
Untrue to what they've had in their clutches.
Yet I'm no prize to anyone other than self.
Jus different in ways on a level untamed.
I retracted me to find I'm not felt.
My rear has been open to this world since the day