idled out

Look-see here if u care to listen.
I've a few things I've forgotten to mention.
Beneath the rubbish i seem to be.
Hidden beyond words wantin to breathe.
I'm eatin syllables thrown out in plain sight.
Lookin as somewhat like broken before ur eyes.
Playin with the tongues refusal to be seen.
Swallowin luv with my retracted dreams.
So if u bare to hear the resistance of truth.
I'll speak in rare form for u to realize why I'm mute.
Of the passion that lingers without a friend.
It lives yet scared to appear to even attend.
Livin on the other side where pain evolves.
Sortin out the confusion of where i went wrong.
Even though i am nothin more than intact.
Toyin with the raw emotion to return with facts.
Of who it is i am beneath the chameleon u see.
I am alive n kickin with a will to leave.
This inner defiance that is as good to me as a thief.
Once cripplin then twisted fur my own means.
I understand what I've allowed is at its end u see.
So don't misunderstand what hides behind my teeth.
To feel is my expression aimed at ur ear.
For I'm all dried up with the endless tears.
It's real what i seek in a woman layin low.
But i wouldn't expect u to know I'm slow.
Unwindin with every inch of me in time.
I've been threw the movements in my mind.
N I'm not as crazy as i may seem.
I jus haven't crossed back over as of yet for me.
If u can catch my vibe on where it is i am.
Pay a lil attention to honesty reachin as a man.
I live in a world in which i don't belong mentally.
Goin to waste to my own true identity.
Afraid u jus might think I'm like those u know.
With a chuckle in the rib worth the show.
There's not a damn thing wrong goin on within.
I jus talk of the twist til the build up reaches my grin.
Outta fine tune draggin out a better me.
One in which I miss tastin desires lonely lean.
This is the under layer unseen as a faze.
Pushin self to relate to realities peek of change.
Ready I am but it'll be a moment til I speak.
Of the unconditional origins of a luv so weak.
Fallin to knees as the feelin sets the record straight.
Read in a way I come to life's emotional gain.
I'm idled out in a motionless state of deliverance.
Deliberately I've dug in to walk away free n independent.
From the one thing that tore the texture from my heart.
Yet know I'm very with it as my story is yet to silent the alarms as a work of art...