damn near at the doorstep

What's it like being so fucking addicted to you?
It's been a while since I've felt honesty's touch.
I'd luv to know more of you yet I'm not to sure.
I don't know if I'm ready to fall in luv.
Even though I think about it from time to time.
Allowing my mind to drift away with you.
Just to catch a glimpse of what it's like.
Attached to the way you open up in luv.
My curiosities leaning on the thought.
Quietly from at a distance my silence is kept.
Looking onward from within the crowd.
Eyes dressed with a vision of you when able to rest.
Wonderin what it would be like to pause.
In a moment of truth directly in front of you.
To be seen as the man I've tucked away as a ghost.
Tuning the timing of the tongue not wanting to interrupt what it is you do.
For the way you move through life is utterly & fucking amazing.
So from a far I ease on back thinking of being alone & felt.
Behind closed doors with you to witness how you settle in.
How's it feel to be so far gone I can't help myself?
As I just sit day in day out pondering what's been posing in my head.
Yet who's to say I'd be the enlightenment of your life?
A friend never to change before eyes simply as me.
I'm going to just let you linger & live as for my intent I hide.
Afraid to emerge from the depths of knowing you could make a difference.
Standing I can fill the empty space as you can continue to move.
To contribute to a commitment no longer held by the fears relevance.
I jus want to know what contact would do to either or the both of us.
Mmm, the usefulness that offers another chance to reboot.
I only lie to myself when I say I'm going to get to know you better come tomorrow.
Then I awaken & lose my grip due to me becoming a mute.
So just for shits & giggles of reaching for the unexpected.
Who would you become if I stood accordingly as a man?
I'm damn near at your doorstep roaming as lost looking for a home to call my own.
Hoping I've found my way through this world to collide with you as we stand.
Ohh, what could be in between what would surround the comfort.
Just for I know who & how I am.
& for what I see, for you, I'd want to press the issue to dig in.
But Mr. hush is fading into each night unable to speak other than a word like damn.
Missing the opportunity to make a memory if even possible.
Not that I don't have the confidence lil lady.
I'm just horrified the dream just might get shot down.
In rhythm when put in place I am more than what I've been lately.
As for reasons unknown I can't stop the daydreams walking with me.
As I follow them silently as if I haven't a choice to voice the interest at all.
What's it like laying still with you finally able to breathe?
I'm asking because you've been there as others failed knowing what they had.
I wanna know if I could wake to u in luv.
& what it would feel like to be that stare in the corner of your eye.
One in which that can't help but to peek at me opening up.
U know what the situation is like to have you in the middle of life.
Barred to the truths, tell me what's gone wrong.
Cuz I'm damn near at your doorstep as the rush is consuming everything about me.
Feelin what I know of you, mentally prolonged...