when u cross my mind...

lusts laying with thoughts... aroused is the erection in hand... slow strokes as if in a pause... thinking of the sexual intent to go down n make u pant... the imagery of naked skin turns me on... grippin a tug as speed rotates the wrist up n down n around n around... loosening hormones to reach for u to moan... as hard as i can fuckin stand i pretend to serve ur mouth... n i don't give a fuck if we're not alone... i get of on the sight of u in the mood to roll around until we're forced to tap out... damn, i'm getting close to popping as it crosses my mind so often... the feel of ur tucked curves licked for pleasures that go without... tryin not to bust on the initial insertion as depths are felt on nerves clinging to the texture softened...

confirmation of complications...

over emotional beasts ruin good things as drama follows features changing motions...

the veer is jus to do away with the chaos for a more sound piece of mind worth the devotion...

people want more than expectations are willing to give so easily n frustrate situations...

leading to the fire once atop a candle that spreads wild n outta control for a different sensation...

as falling isn't as smooth as words detailed that cannot explain to the lack of mental separations...

leaving the memory of luv to be too much due to the teeter of instabilities recreation...

coming to the breaking point of relations held for ransom as likes drift from tenderized sensations...

crippling the will to remain in a friendship spoiled to a selfish need of a standing ovation...

ends come too soon when the balance isn't a factor to play with levels based on the foundation...

creating outbursts so immature life gets irritated with terms that affect free wills formation...

willing to stand in a solo stance to dismiss the pain of over emotionalizing fixations...

restrained to feel or else as tongues seek havoc on the individuality's recreation...

demands fail once the shallows reaches for a friend rushing the shores of the heart's determination...

swallowed by the tide overflowing to drown out reasons to continue the fiasco's destruction...

oblivious is hidden intent to own depths running for shelter so bliss doesn't feel the mutation...

done with the excessive drive to dig into the pits twisted to wear the silhouettes rotation...

laid to rest...

goin beneath the darkness as the silence hears thoughts...

trying to hide expressions lost without a cause...

turning on emotion for it chases so much pain...

jus wanting to awaken come morning to a more mental game...

the night tends to do things to the minds imaginative side...

taking old memories to the edge where the sun meets new life...

for the past only exists when solitude reveals no hope...

caught somewhere in the middle of the night drifting in between homes...

the tongue refuses to give syllables to sound coming from moans...

n all that has been lost is dead hanging from a rope...

jus playing with the image of prior relations that have nowhere to go...

pillows catch whispers like dogs that bury bones...

flings return to entertain the absence of the rush yet to cling to the light of day...

all deep under the surface where midnight relates to the lonely fame...

sleep resists to fall with the wonder of touch...

held within snugged arms wrapped up in comfort flush...

thinking come tomorrow's horizon the release will be the final straw...

knowing damn well as long as self is alone, time will forever be paused...

goin over every vision of what felt the need to be free...

somewhere in the pitch of black flames burn in the stillness of wet dreams...

calling to the remembrance of those who haven't been forgotten...

as to move on hasn't happened as of yet to replace beautiful faces gone rotten...

laid to rest is the luv one had for passion set in the eyes...

as the body lays motionless behind closed doors jus wanting to hide...

afraid of the next ex that forces the belief that they're different from the rest...

needing the daybreak to rescue the fool that keeps on reliving what's left in the chest...

being...

being likable exposes the back to creatures trying to dig in... as believing in others is a reflection of self from within... so easy as careful as it must be is the only way to live... realizing no one truly knows one an others intent until time gives... unable to expect the maturity in return... coming to terms with the facts that reaching for someone could hurt... jus being an individual most would like to meat doesn't mean they're ready for the big leagues... where adults can live without the over emotional needs... for it's a curse to be the desired type that jus wants to be left alone... to smile n enjoy life without the twist that changes the direction of home... so many are looking for luv before friends can even take part in the knowing of the pain to come... mind on the loose of the wonders that bring on the misdirected fun... it's hard being the rare breed that continues to move solo due to relations always tend to get in the way... finding joy even in the dark when solitude silences the cowards to step to the plate n act accordingly to more than remembering a face... drifting along with the flow that carries temptations that come n go... being different as the air so fresh attachments wanna grab ahold n claim thrones... feeling the need to capture the freedom it takes to reason with sighs... the real battle it not getting tied up to restraints that wanna own passions will to fly... as imaginations play with the thought of getting close to the bodies heat... n all one could ask for is for others not to waste a moment on the cause that ends the leave...

single asf...

i couldn't find u... want fell through... so ur gonna havta accept the fact that i got tired of waiting around... to air i was bound... i have shit to do... digging into my own groove... fed up is what i got as there was life to be lived... chuckles in ribs... n memories to make for myself that no one can take away... unafraid... jus know i'm single asf... off in my own world with the tongue on hush... with two birds flapping high... stretched out to fly... letting u see u can be my number two... laughing at woo's... bcuz i am the one to luv myself most... never to leave me in any conditions bcuz i with me am close... yeah, i said fuck the dumb n got on with who i am... loosenig grips was inevitable for me to regain my stance... u weren't there when the decision was to be made... n i ain't sorry for a fuckin thing... i like the way things are goin so u can't be missed... i forgot the feelings of the pressing of lips... n i'd havta know who u are as i don't feel the need to look... i'm doing so good... i don't wanna get it wrong again n think someone else is u... another cloud gone poof... fuck all that... i'll pass... i got better things to enjoy than to waste more time on the wonder of luv... in my words, trust... i jus wanna be liked so a friend can be seen... i luv'd it when i was finally able to breathe... as real as it gets, u may not even exist... as it's slim to know the older we live... so why even feed the thought the silliness of hope.?. when the hurry isn't gonna rush... there is no nudging emotion in the heart to go unused... hanged from a noose... my sense was found back when i realized i wasn't living for me... craving an unrealistic dream... n ever since i lost interest in voices calling out to my name... i stated to find comfort in my own face... as others pretend to wanna be ur double for they could never pull of the mimic before my eyes... free... single... chosen is a more stable mindset to mingle... n i luv the state in which i can be me... a thing... guess i wanted it as bad as u did... removing the notion of having patience on what was wished... so fuck me too... ur better off doin u... place me back in the crowd so i can blend on in... to feel my grin... u see, i drifted for some time until years got away from me n i found myself not needing u... so poof.!. i gained a more calm piece of mind... i seen the light... falling to the ease the loss was to keep on telling myself u were coming soon... as worth sprouted into full bloom... i called a truce so everyday could embrace me... to keep on geting on so i too could dismiss the treat... as i awakened to a smile unaffected by dwelling on what i couldn't touch... it was jus another lust...

Bloody arrow...

Nice shot... That went through my heart... Sunk in so deep it found itself on the other side without a care to turn around... Landing in someone else's emotions... How profound... But it was dead on as the texture was torn... I felt it... N the ouchie made me cry knowing u ain't worth shit... Losing true form as scars carved ur face... The hole dripped once the splatter made a need of things... Drained... As the ache felt as if life would never be the same... On the insertion the ripped it's way with the gore... Dangerously shooting arrows with a line hooked to an anchor to u... Pulling me closer as laughs lied as remains were left on the floor...

Why me i never got u ask but it's ok u felt the need to continue with the motion it took to exit out the back... Straight through the puncture leaving a tunnel for jus for u... moving to fast for me to grab the spear that shook my inner grasps...  Damn near as if u were cupid playing a sick n twisted lil game... Yet u were nothing more than jua an other dame... On ur way u went on a spiral launched at my desires that engulfed the blow... u never meant to luv me the way words tricked passions into believing in the arrowhead that slit a wound for ur intentions to invade the way i a sit alone... Leaking until i dripped all the foolishness away... I lost hope... Gave in the way the healing did me some good... i got hooked... Addicted to the poison in ur tone... Roamed for years before i realized u weren't my friend... Accepting the end of what was supposed to be the greatest thing we've every held close... Knowing anywhere u are will never be considered home...

One crossbow released the pressure that captured my worth... As mid evil as the chest could be penetrated... The backend hurt the most... Feeling ur feathers loosen me to unexpected circumstances that become outdated... 

contentment...

in the life of a loner it's hard to accept comfort of an other level where emotions comes to life... facing fear in the eyes of new beginnings that have an end to relations whether dead or alive...

it's the peace on the horizon that brings the ease to days going without the twists of pain... free from the expectations of an others wants n needs forcing self to become them unexplained...

as the confusion removes individuality having to live up to their ways of wonder in the mind... jus sitting back as patience awaits a friend to move with if terms find condition of situations alike...

living on ones own without others to confuse the norm is a no bs policy where there is no hurt... no burdens of redefining expressions into unwanted silhouettes taking control of the importance of worth...

hope tends no to conflict with the silence that is rare to come by as many luv the drama like conflicts... rather having the gathering of a piece of mind even though it comes at a price where being alone is to resist...

away from the dangers the plague the heart as character is provoked to look in mirrors in disbelief... so it's a more quiet lifestyle one cling to when people all seem to wanna transform reasons to believe...

smokin touchin n gettin away...

Taking a weekend n smoking out...

Touching places that make the most intriguing sounds...

From Friday to Sunday jus wearing bare minimum to fit the mood...

On a sexual getaway that pleases the satisfaction of being the silence in the room...

Kissing moans dancing with the flickering flames scattered about...

Puff puff tapping that azz as she gets spun around...

No limits n no reason to hold back the true intent...

The body needs to exhale as gasps need to vent...

As one with the smoke that creates an imaginative desire...

As tongues n fingertips flow with the sensation lit by the flame afire...

Drawn to the skin as a cling touches sexuality's moans...

All within a few days of being left the fuck alone...

Blazed n coming from within to feel alive for once...

Knowing what occurs behind closed doors is the secret of trust...

As the room is to foggy to see the munch going on down below...

In a lil hotel room as a getaway where hormones roam uncontrolled...

Allowing pleasure to freely do as it will...

On another level in which the use of the body is the thrill...

as motion moves...

n the pain keeps finding its way back around the heart... strangling the vibes trying to live as better days stutter to start... ouch goes the tone the expressions held below the tongue... feeling the twist dig in to the texture of luv on the run... another dagger sinks in to recreate an opposing reality awaiting its turn... damn emotion expects to much when family drifts into different directions causing smiles to hurt... as the mind wonders what the fuck is wrong with people n when will they fucking learn... n others are puzzled with blank stares to why life seems to jus not have the same feel they get from their own... not knowing how everyone close evades the moment good times are ready to cross over from the stillness a float... luv'd ones fail to see how the mind struggles to believe in giving to the most prized possession at home... one at a time even luv'rs never make it through to the other side where happiness truly exists... allowing self to walk on in a more solo waltz as words forget promises placed upon the lips... finding new faces that grow old to the memory remembering how trust broke the day reason found out they lied... leaving desires to accept the change once again as features shape shift into strangers that cause tears to empty thoughts in a cry... as to even friends who fade who are enjoyed n wanted to stick around... hope tends to retreat inward to go looking for a pure sense of unwound... away from the fairy tails that plug the ability to fucking evolve... so it's back to the one it was with in the beginnings where the simplicity could never go wrong... as the comprehension knows how the let down feels when it reoccurs every so often to cut a new hole to drain the comforts appeal... sitting in a quiet room losing yet another piece torn from muted voices watching the delusions in the head spin on repeating reels... claiming a scar unseen by the eye to determine what to make of friendships that need not feel the use of wanting more... becoming someone else when the door closes as people never wanna stand on the same side of what's felt in the core... it fucking hurts to witness all the good get soaked into something jus to fall straight through... lacking the interest to gather the worth of intent as motion moves...

life can wait...

having to rebuild others tend to forget how much needs to be done... one cannot jus do what they want until the process is given a change to live in comforts hushed...  from going without their sense of norm to putting things in order as time goes on... to bounce back to a level of reason of hard work cannot be rushed jus bcuz someone else never lost more than a mourn... if the blowing of funds are spend unwisely the issue remains to never get ahead... n who has time to fall to knees looking for answers when self is the key to what's next... putting in the work n not allowing someone to distract what needs to be done... luv will come as adventures will be taken when determination pans out to have some fun... there's no point in attractions that halt productivity for it only postpones deadlines that free the mind of burdens one at a time... taking one step at a time to reveal the grand prize at the end of the tunnels find... into the daylight able to drift as free as life used to be... until then there is nothing that will ever feel right if it isn't patient enough to wait on what is to lead... enjoying days jus the same as those who've not once woke up with the feeling of home being gone... having to do it solo as the bottom is the one place that will forever feel wrong... as the running is a mental game of discipline wanting something so bad no one can force the detour that redirects progress... bcuz if they do, they simply ain't no kinda friend...

waiting on truths...

i ain't sorry for being different.... as i thought u knew i am hesitant... not looking to get caught up in someone else's life... as i'm only trying to gather mine... relations are for friends on another level opened up... off in their own world turning likes into luv... so no i ain't about to apologize for who i am... there's things i've seen with my own eyes that turn me on n off as a man... having character with a moral sense of affection for self on the loose... looking to adapt to this world n figure out where trust runs when time wants proof... i ain't like others you've been able to interact with up until this point... all i am is me n i will remain the wtf that keep echoing in ur minds void... wondering if there's something wrong with me or am i jus a lil off center... as the only thing i can relate to is a mental understanding of use that needs no mentor... i don't teach n i refuse to be side stepped for selfish gains... keeping my wienie in my pants so no confusion rips from lips n tastes the direction of blame... only changing if it netters my way of life if the presence of an other is jus enough to show me flaws... then the reconstruction of the inner makings is a must so i too can round out without the sinking of claws... for foes aren't needed to interfere with how my smile works... i'm a t peace for once n truly do not feel in the mood to deal with someone who isn't right with who they are catering to the pain that hurts... i ain't gonna be the one who covers the feeling of passion left over nor empty myself... i jus move to become where i rest within who it is i am felt... n if it's u we'll know if i can give in to ur own worth lingering about... chattering with tones that do not fluctuate as sounds creates depths spoken out loud...

tortured by false tongues...

points need to be proven for people to believe... until it's talking about an other as rumors luv to breathe... it's a trick even a magician couldn't pull off on his best day... as word of mouth others insist on repeating not knowing the truths enslaved... captured by someone else's tongue beating honest tales to the point... so many jus go with what they hear of stories blabbered into a void... crating the silence it takes to overcome what's been deliberately spoken to belittle ones worth... for there is no relief other than to ignore the lies upon lips that admit immaturity's that hurt... feeling friends turn to foes as the knife gets in jus below the ribs... jus listening to how their creativity continues to jabber at the jibs... trading in the trust to make ones own seem to be better than the filth tossed into thin air... without a conscious so they can pretend to be more than actions that do not care... proof is in the eyes that will not get stuck in a stare with the betrayal taking control... knowing there's no interest in proving either side due to the manipulation doesn't fold... no one wants to be seen for what they are... lowered into a sense of disbelief of how a mate could stir up dust in the heart... showing self who everyone is so willing to be... feeding in to the distasteful imagination to tear an other down from reality... faces emerge once shallowness confirms character is noting more than shaky at best... luv'n the fact how much energy it takes to hate true intentions laid to rest... enemies participate in lives until life is to end emotionally as one knows it... as the beginnings of the struggle realizes those who get closest cause the pain held in their grips... purposely twisting the mind so the defense fights back... finding two birds raised high as the only answer to the childishness that avoid the facts...

friends to be...

there for u like u ain't never had a friend before... at a moments notice to be by ur side... jus wanting to know u jus a lil bit more... needing the attention directed towards my life... giving comfort to luv for i like what it is i see looking at ur face... feeling the hunger touch u in ways thoughts are allowed to live... as a friend prior to any other relation can take place... hoping there's a chance for self to hold on to what it is u have to give... at peace standing by ur side i'd be me so u can witness what real truly is... jus to spend days that get attached to the knowing of what we are to be... i'll remain the way i come as words will never switch... a stranger wanting to apply what you've been missing in ur dreams... not once ever to ignore ur presence for i'm better with u clinging to who i am... lost without u i'd feel a loss... so it's the admittance of who u are to me as a confiding in man... with one mindset to never let go of the way we intend to lean in for the pause... fortunate enough to enjoy eyes staring back with a use... i'd step to the other side if u seen me dripping with drool... falling into u from the inside out as we move... being ur one to turn to not once having to play the fool...like no other that's appeared from somewhere on the loose... to find the nerves easing up as u dig in to me n believe i mean u no harm... going with the flow of whatever is to be it's together for as long as we can evolve... making waves in the hearts calling to accept we have the vibe felt up with a rare sense of charm... as the acknowledgement relates to the truth that we are no longer lost...

changes of the heart...

accepting the change of times as a new phase to come...
with more memories to be made n a different kinda luv...
having happiness transform into a fresh start held so tight...
life rearranges scenery to adapt to having another way to sigh...
people come n most walk away before yrs can unfold...
losing friends along the way as steps walk away from homes...
feeling the joy of the pain correct the emotional burn...
redirecting interests for a better cause to bring worth...
faces shape shift n share moments to remember for a lifetime...
until the day eyes see for the first time the one to speak hi...
knowing from one to the next as partners are far from in between...
the wait after a while is more than worth the sticking around to breathe...

losing it all...

if the end of time was upon ur stay here with me tonight...

would my comfort be enough to make ur saddest tears come to life.?.

watching time slowly remove u from this place beneath the sun...

as my side will long to have u tangled up in luv...

if it were all to lay still once the darkness settled in...

life wouldn't be the same come morning without u clinging to my ribs...

to awaken missing u for the rest of my life...

with nothing but the memory of the here n now clinched as mine...

if  u were to fall short of living in my eyes...

losing a friend to the natural way of why we must be defined...

will u feel it to be enough if i spent the moment with u...

so ur true worth would remain intact as u go mute...

if u died before my arms had u for a lifetime with no way to stop the event...

u should know ur free to roam in my heart as u have consent...

in our final thoughts coming face to face with the reality that nothing lasts forever...

it would be an endless loss feeling u slip from my grasp on ur way to the never ever...

have a seat...

sit on down n ease on up... get comfy with me n not give a fuck... we have a fire n we have some drinks... all that's needed ia a mood that will not leave... the music is on random for versatility to loosen the vibe... as bodies can feel each other with a convo worth the night... jus two friends finding where the life goes come mornings moans... sit with me n come out as u are wrapped up in us within the mood... i ain't afraid to relate to an evening where candles bring life to the room... sitting back to confirm life has a friend to involve in the memories is things go well... likes will be known come the truth that pours when the lights dim for a more reasonable tongue without the spells... sit as close as u feel the lean pause... make known through ur delivery of details flawed... it's ok to come on out n be see for it's the only way we're gonna know... hang out n take ur shoes of for a bit n chill with me n put down the phone... unless u want a few pics to remember the way we are... settle in n drift with me as minds decide to open the heart...

dripping wet...

have u ever thought about desires let loose to play in the rain.?. somewhere where there's no one around... feeling the motion create the passion that escapes... as the throbbing finds a good pound... at one with the foreplay that never seems to end... clinging to the nerves opening legs to see, feel, n taste the split... alone n outside beneath the falling of the skies with time well spent... feeling the vib of orgasms crawl through the body wanting to live... listening to puddles gather our sweat as the storm rinses moans that vent... have u ever wanted to be free to become something more than you've ever seen before.?. felt by ur surroundings a molested by an other craving ur presence to strip n cater to the dive... swimming in the wild where limits need not exist goin all the way in to the thrusts as hormones become the downpour... with nowhere to hide as the mood does not give a fuck due to the thrill coming out from the inside...

magicians...

knowing who it is on a mutual connection that has the needs all wrapped up in to one face... eyes stare differently having the whereabouts pinpointed to a single individual at the edge of fingerprints wanting a gaze...for the satisfaction that tingles through the rush building the suspense reaches for depths moving to the motion... the arousal within lands upon the skins sensitivity's crawling trough the mind... listening to the sounds when close enough air even moves to the side as if magic defines likes... having the come get some in tones on the top of the world's refreshing balance that bounces... heart rate spiking flat lines as even the thought upon the texture pounces... with a hand full of wants met on the rotation of limits unwinding in plain sight... with no worries when the reverse turns for the watching will go back to back to defend life... it's a mutha fucka once emotion aims the lead to be followed into arms that feel the same luv wrapped up... seen n noticed with features embedded into the memory for the keeping of trust held by comforts touch...

gaining grounds...

In the hesitation of riding the break....
Rearview mirrors hold on to thier escape...
Slowing down to make sure the end is real...
With a final tear to be left with the wrenching of fears...
Easing along waiting for a sign that never applies...
So it's in on the clutch as smiles feel the need to fly...
Standing the machine up as if to erect the getaway...
Rubber slides on the transfer from the tire to the pavements face...
Long enough to let it be known self will not return...
As the tread marks fade for the tracking isn't needed to be chased the hurt...
Changing gears like emotions the acceleration touches the floor...
Emptying the pits as 2 find three switching to 4...
Fine, 6 n it's the first effect screeching on doesn't the road...
Free n able to adjust the throttle at the next rest stop wanting to become home...
Feeling the wind create the feeling of loose n on the run...
Taking the curves tucked tight within the lines...
Destination unknown is the mind redirecting thoughts claimed as mine...
Finding the edge up high upon an horizon to peep where the heading might lead...
Wondering where that comfort resides so the lungs can truly breathe...

ain't worth a fuck...

people act like they're interested but they ain't... they only pretend to luv someone else than self a can participate...  sad the only honest thing there is about others is the selfish intent to please self... but then again that's what luv is as their reasoning isn't about one an other but who is who is willing to give in n give them help... all due to the choices they've made come to relations past... making them insecure n immature with a sense of irritation through spontaneous spats... so it's a fuck u as alone becomes a way of the walk... unfazed n unwilling to be tamed into an other's lifestyle to fit their needs in the middle of a pause... like isn't a factor to what some feel is all about them... like their some sort of precious commercialized gem... making others think they are good within as there's no remorse when shit breaks down... no one gives a fuck about anyone other than who they see in the mirrors... as the tongue unrolls to confirm the findings of simplicity shifting gears... in a fantasy looking at someone else like the expect what they are unwilling to give... caught up in choices no one had an input to deiced yet wanna only live their version of life... n if it ain't the way they perceive it, it's slander at best... n people have the audacity to point as if we all don't have a certain in particular way about how we relate when the mind comes from the chest... yet more than a few truly are not worth a fuck to marinate into the mixture of thoughts... people suck n that's all there is to say about what cannot be considered a loss...

on high alert...

looking for smiles as others walk on by... waiting on a friend like no other to take that step into a new sense of life... jus sitting with patience doin about nothing wonder of the curve that owns the their face... looking at the time on the wall spin into the silence it takes to say names... leaving likes to create a luv no one else can come close to... falling upon arrival of the only one that'll reach in far enough to extract what's been hidden for a better use... at the gates awaiting the presence of a long time coming... posted up staring past strangers on the prowl wanting to steal undeserved luv'ns... passing on a few that would get it good if it wasn't for wanting that one friend that clings to the inner makings of the deepest depths coming undone in the rush... on the hush for it's for us to know of the secrets laid up snug n flush... eyes peep in different directions wondering of ur location... finding masturbation would be even funner with u touching me instead of an other fondling ur invitation... two for one cause is the reasoning of desiring to witness u so close it shakes me free... no more tangle webs to trap my emotion in behind my worth that jus cannot breathe... loosened by u stepping into me as smooth as if u were a part of me as my inner best friend coming to life... i overlook for i'll know when our path cross in a moment to exchange the determination it took to feel arms draped n wrapped up with the reason of why... grasps move to the grind of yes... calling through vibes as tones carry the truth in who we truly are together as grins accept...

from, to...

from ashes being joined once the end comes to call... to be together for as long as the remains can outlast life... there's the fact that the final stage comes to soon... sitting with the rearrangement in the silence of an empty room... from the findings of what the heart has longed to feel... to losing more than a friend as self turns inward looking for something real... as the transformation takes control of thoughts wanting to escape... the remembrance of words listen to lies that broke the expressions upon the face... from being so close to having a wedge pry the connection loose... the difference in the way passion moves relates to depths that go unused... always thinking of what the fuck went wrong when clinches held luv so right... having to let go of the dreams shared jus isn't the outcome of sighs... from the laying of bodies as comfort digs into reason to even fuck with them... something felt has no motion in the system... memories found new visions to last beyond the tongues flick that never meant shit... created sound is nothing more than hidden intent tasted upon the delivery of lips... pressed to deceive the devotion of a lifetime promised to a friend... jus to awaken one day once it's all said n done to not needing to pretend... from a stranger to a joy back to someone we do not know... home becomes a fairytale when truths come from the secrets of a foe...

Not wanting the attention...

Suffering from depression n hiding it well... No knew knows n there's no one to tell... Caring isn't something others feel as a required sense of hope... I lost me when I lost my sense of home... Goin under felt better than fading smiles... There's a comfort within that tends to resist emotions pretending to be worth the while... As the silence gives comfort to thoughts attacking the heart... Most of the time drifting away to some distance daydream helps calm the dark... It's always scarier at night when sound is absent for the brain to come alive... N it sucks not being able to sleep for days as u hide... Pretending to live better even when self resides behind doors wanting to escape... There's times u don't feel anything n those are the moments that feel the best due to the ache relaxes my face... Yet I look it in the eye for I am not weak... I deal with it bcuz I can n I wanna come from it if I can with a reason to breathe... Changing the appetite for humor I live through so no one knows... I fight a battle alone.... Without the pressure of others n I make it look good... But when no one's looking I fall apart fucking around on facebook... People think I'm crazy but I'm only trying to create what I cannot have... Laughter is so fucking sad... To be so in luv with life n yet not wanna enjoy it takes from the willingness to even care... I stand firm in the eyes of my children that  I cannot let down for I'm all they have in this nightmare... Descending into solitude afraid of the intent others play out on each other... I don't wanna bother anyone as I run from luv'rs... N I don't wanna hurt anymore than I already am... So I remain the clown touching ribs so others can find a chuckle again n again... As I get bored with entertaining them n act as if I do not exist... Putting the phone on charge bcuz it doesn't make a sounds if I do not attempt to be their source missed... N living jus is until it's time to go... So jus sit back n enjoy the show...

Waiting on luv...

Not knowing the curve of ur face feeds the curiosity wanting to see the way u express emotion shit in my direction... Yet there's an absence of not being able to see who u are up close as u haven't presented yourself to my detection... Blinded by others has been the case giving away underserved luv meant for u... But there's no telling who u are as u hide beneath the scars waiting for who knows what to come along n claim to be of use... As ready this passion of mine will ever be lingers on the thought of when u come into view... Closing in on sighs taken that ends the wonder of where in the fuck I have been let loose... Wandering around unknowing I am free n in need of the comfort u can give... As tones take aim from lips gone unused by the pressing of a real felt down to earth kiss... As the silhouette hasn't been given a chance to transform features from the shadowy shape that holds ur place... Life without u is as lonely as being locked away in an asylum with patience running away... Show yourself n look me in the eyes for time to earn memories is growing short... Losing valuable time to get to know the nitches of relations n craving to want so much more...

Back to life...

Losing the sense of them coming back...
Triggers the grasp of reality clinching facts...

Living life without their presence becomes a thing...

Slowly getting over what's to be known as a fling...

Goin from missing the caught in a trans...

Always having that linger of hope making its stand..

To not feeling the luv once shared...

As if the heart truly is a sponge that cared...

Rung dry from all the tears that's fallen...

Unseen by eyes to witness the depths stalling...

Unable to cross over willingly to have a life...

The moment will remind one of the phase to correct the mind...

Finding a way as single as I've can be...

Drifting back into a smile placed in reality...

Thinking thoughts of how far self dove in...

As empty hands is the beginning of the build up within...

Ready n willing to enjoy time...

Knowing happiness creates its own shine...

Feeling the freedom come to terms of solo...

On the other side where they do not exist away from foes...

Once the feel of wanting an other fades...

Sighs flow accepting there is no need in hate...

Taming the rush of the wild that had gotten outta control...

Gathering the pieces of an old self put on hold...

The awakening sneaks up with a chuckle due to its finally over...

As one with emotions kick-starting the motor...

Wanting the need of something new...

In a different kinda way unknown by a truce...

Laying in greener grass without the heartache sinking in...

Allowing the butterflies to simply tickle there rib...

It's u...

To touch u the way I feel for u... Defined by how I reach for the connection of use... To flow with ur curves jus right... To reason with ur skin awaiting sighs... To feel u come to life... Beneath the intent caressing moans... Softly satisfying my crave shown...  As motion moves to become more than a thought... Whispers gone mute in the middle of a pause... Twirling fingertips across the tenderness on display... Nude n in the makings to tame the face... Staring eye to eye wanting the same fucking thing... Ready for what the moments to follow will bring... To hear the shortness of breaths... Catering to the tone escaping from the chest... Feeling the readiness of the heart leap... To believe in u is there fantasies need... Exploring the surface before digging in with prints... Felt n soothed so intense we create evidence... Of luv held in for the perfect night to breathe... Just to listen to u tell me I am what u need... Whispers like body parts communicate beneath the flickering of a candles flame... A representation of passion tasting names... Falling for the joy the tests the mind when thinking of u... To be the one for u would be a dream come true... Getting into the darkness where cuddles cling... Breaking the silence come morning Awakening to the best of everything... To know u past the expressions on ur face... That would be the greatest desire ever to relate... Jus to have u laid about in my arms... Lost in a world together never to mean any harm... Smelling ur scent stretched across the bed... As daydreams find movement outside the mind... Life itself would develope smiles u by mirrors capturing the reflections change... jus by stroking ur flesh into my favor so u to can enjoy the gain...

buried within...

what good is there if one has no luv to give.?.
as if nothing worth a fuck reside in a hole in a bottomless pit...
unable to share who self is with anyone said to be a foe...
labeled n categorized to be placed with the others in a row...
is there any use in a heart that refuses to work.?.
losing a sense of emotion that fell believing in words...
where does compassion drift to deep within hidden away.?.
gone like the feel of desires from the touch of the stray...
who is one trying to be loosening the grips of relations hushed.?.
when what's so easily felt never causes a ripple that resembles luv...
what is to come of those afraid to open the gates.?.
defeated mentally by choices made that rearranged their own face...
as life falls from the fingertips not wanting the pain to return...
how is it there are some who can't quite learn.?.
sinking within themselves as a captive to remain safe...
becoming numb to the expressions as to ignore their own name...
living among the struggle everyone else accepts as the norm...
gender role playing as if the majority is bored...
what is to come of the broken who insist no one truly cares.?.
walking through the population of repeaters unpaired...
on a solo mission due to the hurt changed the way their own vibe transformed...
buried in depths with no way to detect what would be resurrected if reborn...
n why is it so much damn better to be alone in the silence.?.
when self determines there is no such thing as a friend wanting to gain an alliance...
what gesture could possibly be of any positivity if to heal is forbidden to evolve.?.
is there a single piece of evidence to those who have awoken to be so lost.?. 

in the long run...

am i someone you'd want around everyday.?. always there under the same roof looking at the age wrinkling my face... . really focus on long term n try  to insert me into ur life... creating memories shared as we skip through time... are u smiling bcuz it's me still lingering in ur presence like there's nowhere else i'd rather be.?. awaken to me in ur mind as thoughts go on a journey through dreamworld as i remain the friend u seek... is everything fine n dandy or is there something missing as if u want me to leave.?. who is it i'd become later if relations took off the way u intend to capture my heart wanting to be felt.?. is it i am able to fulfill ur days as no one else is needed to comfort ur emotions as a real sense of help.?. witness me in some time to come as u sit n watch me walk across ur wondering thoughts... will i be there by the time u get there if u knew i never wanna fade into the picking of flaws.?. do we have it by ur expectations from ur end of what ur willing to put in to what it is we do.?. some things would be nice to know so life can be what it was intended to... where am i when u close ur eyes at night.?. in ur head or beside u as rest gives strength to the intensity of what we are defined... when will i have the chance to hear what comes from the answer u hold in the silence in which u live.?. honestly, from ur perspective, is there any reason to pursue u for a lifetime as there's plenty of worth the give.?.

all aboard...

falling overboard being the only one on the ship...
engulfed by the moisture rolling down cheeks bypassing the lips...
the sink doesn't float quite like the backstroke envisioned...
down goes the ability to drift as the bottom reaches for the imprisoned...
drowning eyes going all in to part with what sights lose on the horizon's flat line...
with one slip the dip becomes a swim for life...
caring too much beyond tears descending life gets swallowed by the absence of a face...
forgetting pain isn't supposed to consume the tasting of names...
friends synchronize into a solo backstroke headed for different shore lines...
as the captain cannot find the way to dry lands with much to much weight overflowing its sides...
awakening survival in the mind before the undertow can suck the life outta ones hope...
sailing with the wind beneath the sunshine giving light to the coast...
done with the deep emptiness for air is needed to evolve...
on a beach dipping the feet into what reminds the memories to get lost...

when the belief is gone...

when the luv builds up with nowhere to go... life loses a feeling so natural eyes tend to tear up with the emptiness echoing in a silent room... the mind goes in to moments of disbelief knowing self has what it takes to believe in... when all the right intentions give up for luv' one to many times with nothing to ever come from the emotion spent... something happens along the way where thoughts feed the heart pain remembered from past times bcuz no one finds self worth the feel... always going without somewhere around the end as it was merely the beginnings of relations set out to concur what was said to be real... when the mind breaks down there's a change in desires that will give up the sexual intent before ever considering depths sought out as free... the pressure from the nerves take a beating of pulses spiked due to the betrayal that continues to know one thing... wanted for so long until something else consumes them resolving them as jus another fling... when too much has found its way in between the creases that hide the secrets n they still feel the need to vury their face into the memory... it's difficult to trust lips that babble tales  sounding like those prior to the decision to go solo for the brain doesn't need the hemorrhaging... it's a fuck it concept if that's how they truly are... so it's pure mental digging beneath the skin wanting to leave a mark... an earn it policy that fights to settle for some half azz shit... when the disgust lingers in to the thrill of starting over new one too many times life if forced to catch a grip...

i ain't free...

i'm not the type to jus give u whatever it is u fuckin want... n i ain't about to go into depths without knowing u so let's not speak of luv... there's things in this world ur gonna havta earn messing around with someone like me wondering why it's me ur wanting to be felt... bcuz if it's free u can go find another one of those pathetic kind that will do anything to feel better about themselves... i'm on some other shit where friends are to come accustom to having an other looking out for the sole purpose of having each other around... wanting a handout of all things is not a given without becoming more than an emotion erupting out loud... as if u do not share this mindset in which i speak from u ain't for me to begin with... there's different stages where characters either come to life or need not play the part where the lips slide upon a kiss... if u wanna act like there are others who would luv to have u, feel free to enjoy as many of them as it takes to get ur fix... my mind is what is in charge here as my heart will follow its judgement's that decide who jus isn't another finger flicked... u can get tied down quicker than u can get to my passion with a shallow delivery wanting me to come undone... the pleasure would be mine yet i ain't giving it up to jus anyone coming along willing to fuck... i have things i like n i won't go without what males me who i am n i am free... if u have a need to rush the movement in ur chest please leave me be... i am not free nor am i easy due to i'd rather have a friend by my side... so unless u wanna strip down n touch hormones i ain't the one for ur silly lil cuteness hoping i go along for the ride... we jus won't be compatible if u ain't gonna have someone periodically telling u no... that spoiled shit is for the birds as these words can find no reason to be hanged from a rope... i ain't free the way u ain't for the fuck shit so lets get it straight... that gender defining isn't something i wanna deal with when i lay my head down not wanting to be tamed... there's no demands other than reason in tones that are to be trusted... as luv from likes enjoy pleasures to the touch of being lusted... know if  all u wanna fuck, be fucked with, or fuckin luv everything there is to satisfy ur time with no use other than sexual grinds.?. u won't get past the surface without being friends as i'd never consider u to fill a position in my life...

jus don't wait to leave later...

don't... if ur jus gonna bother me to walk away... know i'm a lil too far gone to deal with a smooth tongue that fades... as ur absence would tare me down if ur presence changed its mind n ur hands tied me a noose... jus don't step to me if ur not trying to enjoy life to be found somewhere in he makings of likes not being able to go without me comforting ur use... don't... be something u can never be jus to get to know me... ur lack there of a more personal level isn't something i wanna need... if ur gonna wind up in someone else's arms jus go ahead n getu a running start... save me the issues that come with trying to get over u afte giving in to the beauty i find of u in my heart... don't do me the way you'd do to the next when u know damn well i understand what luv is... n it refuses the same contradictions u avoid wanting jus one person to dig into the roots n live... life's enough as it is jus trying to find some sort of enjoyment to go along with the empty moments wishing there were a body to hold... so please jus don't waste memories imma havta ignore for i don't wanna remember u as a foe... there's not one once of me feeling a distraction that isn't gonna be here for the long haul still going strong as a together no matter what... accept me n realize what roll it is i am to play before u tell me sweet desires of who we are tangled up in the search of luv... u ain't gotta worry about me if u truly strip it down to what kinda friendship u crave the most... jus don't go once we've given the attachment a chance to confide in the depths falling into relations as finally going the fuck home...

the payment of pain...

the price the heart pays when the confusion sets in is an untamed fear created by a so called friend pretending to feel an other jus to have someone in their life... as the obvious licks it's fingers n slaps the silliness from the texture that steals the willingness to luv someone new as self hides... it's amazing how the puncture wounds rip gaping wounds leaving holes to heal into smooth scars... from the disbelief to the pain to the hate that falls like ashes said to be in the ends of life...  friends tend to forget emotion rides the waves along shore lines waiting on yet another sunset caught in their eyes... n as the redirection of the mind finds a different way of thinking the abuse taken in is absorbed... paralyzing the thrill to believe in an other or anyone other so the confines of self are safe n bored... the hurt one takes from the reason given cripples the feeling of attractions as lists grow of what is allowed... creating a silhouette of someone life self that is yet to exist... jus finding shelter in the solitude of self being the stranger that's forgotten how to live... enslaved until depths can overcome a twist that has shaped a better chance to enjoy what truly matters... learning of the reckless errors it took to become the purpose of laughter... the payment of pain is the willingness to have at life in a way the breaking never comes back around... matured to the knowings that people pass by to unload their own misfortunes through the motion of endless sound... as they continue to be on their way so self can adapt to the fact that there's only one if found that's satisfied enough not to play games... people through choice cause their own downfall is the only thought that will carry worth to a more enjoyable place...

hypocritical fear...

people tell others they should get out n try something normal for a change... to live life n have hope that everything will be okay... yet when the moment comes the hidden don't wanna come from behind the scenes so it's irrelevant to do so bcuz there's no one there looking to do the same... it's all talk with depths being hypocritical of words as it's a given due to that's all others seem to do... talk, n give others reasons to do what they cannot seem to do themselves stuck in a groove... telling the world how better off they are with a feeling lingering in their gut... wanting to be entertained is all that's become of the emptiness of luv... as like is unwilling to come from beneath the bed sheets n live a lil before the rides over... n to hear the way tongues spit freedom is a contradiction to void the notion of anyone wanting to become a luv'r... when it's jus friends needing more than four walls closing in on the only thing left to be known... listening to self echo wondering why others refuse to enjoy the presence of someone up close n holding their own... for even a night doing whatever it is that tickles the sweet spots tucked away... to feel alive for the moment it takes to step away from the cells invisible bars gaining space... free are tones of what others are not willing to do themselves... to energize someone other than self so they do not havta dig in n go with the flow that hurt them when looking for help... there's a few in between that mean what they say on either side of the door making shit happen... the rest are dwelling within on some bs trying to look cute enough to be liked as they're laughing... yet the smiles only last as long as the next photo that didn't get as much recognition to please to shallowness of the ego said to be real... speaking of the same ol nonsense as the next claiming to be so different they damn near reach for the forgotten feel... so it's back to the realization of no one gives a fuck about any other hiding the facts... folks are jus looking after their own selfish needs bcuz they've been hurt n are afraid to leave the comfort of home having a void that would luv to be intact... but they cannot break away from what's become a way of life that's captures their joy of once upon a time ago... so they watch n play the relations adviser being jus as hypocritical as the next tucked safely alone...

uprooted depths...

saddest shit ever heard was the heart breaking trying to trust an other... wanting to believe in them to become someone who'd be more than a luv'r... shit hurts on the release end on relations having to find another way... having to learn to live without the comfort someone who is supposed to be that one wanna stay... finding life feels different lost revolves to be the single thing that pushes self to the limits of finding who it is in the mirror... facing the pain of no more eats for a while as weakness's forgive the betrayal that created a different kinda fear... jus going without a friend who no longer wants to partake in the reasons it took to live through smiles... the worst feeling is to know the truths that led up to the point of luv speaking confusion to the hearts dial... with no one to call when life falls apart due to the chosen one felt the need to change... left standing in the middle of life not knowing where to look for a lil compassion as emotion swallows eyes not wanting something strange... as the feeling of hopelessness over rides the notion to be strong so life can go on... getting stuck in memories cut short is the tortured content in the texture of the rush losing its norm... having that one person taken away from all the good given so insure they knew u gave what self could... yet things transform as time accepts the revolving door to bring the heartache to the plate... the most hurtful gestures turn into sighs for what goes unseen due to passions blinded sense of seeing what it decides to ignore standing face to face... able to witness the use the special one truly tampered with to get their way before it was all said n done... n as the feelings slowly sheds from the skin worn facial expression are willing to show who reside beneath the vanity everyone else wants to put to use looking to have some fun...

all healed up...

...

when you'd rather not compare what was til the now of not liking what self was forced to let go of

...

as the learning wasn't jus of who truly settled in the nerves but the time it took to be alone with luv

...

wanting something other than what had become a routine to want what the heart couldn't have

...

past the point of reasoning where the need to be free is thankful for such a waste of emotional games

...

gained by sighs on the release knowing who came of the inner linings that tuck in the ribs

...

truly enjoying the peace piece of mind brings out to wanna live with a different concept that digs

...

forgiven as a friend jus before the final snip that cut ties so words were meant from the heart

...

when letting go loosens binds so hands are not tied to an emptiness left in the past

...

not having the insides eaten by guilt's for friends went as far as mouths spoke truths meant to pass

...

once it died n life returned to the face after dreams fled the scene when needed the most

...

the moment comes feelings do not give a fuck about any of it as friends were lost to be alone

...

when realities drift to the ends of never to turn around n witness what no longer matters

...

forever to remember the beauty displayed in pictures hung that were laced in lies splattered

...

it's when the thought of goin back spikes the anxiety screaming no so relations can die

...

when the comprehension lowers the birds to accept there's many people to meet through life

...

n the head spins around feeling the eyes looking through the existence of trust as if it's even there
...
better off becomes a way of life laughing off the particles attached to the memories stare
...
when weight lifts, breaths no longer gasp for air trying to suck in the muted humility
...
things change n transform into a better sense of opportunity feeling the norm of stability
...
preferring not to conversate with decision that freed restraints reaching for a fool
...
easing on to enjoy the sensitivities with other comforts chosen to shake the room
...
unable to feel it as a loss is the part that was never contemplated to where life was to go
...
glad to turn the cheek n get on without a care to the whereabouts of a righteous fucking song
...

don't luv me...

If u tell me u luv me I'm leaving... I know if the good beginnings that find a rawness of breathing... Ending in the balance of redefining who's to become of relations the fact... Emotion isn't welcome here forcing the fantasies that clash... Don't say what ur mind had not decided to speak on... The heart knows not of anything but the feeling of attachments wanting more... As thoughts are at a lost when they wear off, ready for a a scorn... I need not help fight me to choose what life I can n cannot allow as conditions are never perfect... There's nothing to claim as eyes want a sense of control of a friendship to direct... Demanding the submission to terms that jus may not sign m align the way I live... Therefore my luv is not free to spread about as a taste dismissed... Raw n uncut lifestyles are only enticed by worth of the temptation it takes to confide with truths... I don't wanna hear words chattered loosely when there's depths that haven't been reached to know the promise of use... Hold ya tongue n let's jus see where this goes... Bcuz I've been other places I had to leave jus trying to go home...

shut the door...

Is it u turn to me when u need someone.?.

I've always wondered why u run...

When ur alone is when u think of me...

We both know this is is not free...

I'd like to understand what it truly is...

To know if it's jus me or the attachment clinging to lips...

Is it not fair to say I was there being done for so long.?.

Or do u miss the way u know I won't do u wrong.?.

Safety.?.

What a short lived dream.!.

Maybe the fantasies are what drives u to feel...

Is it the friendship u finally realized was real.?.

Or shall we call it ur jus trying to let go.?.

Shaking off the lil bits n pieces left so u know it's ok to move on n truths shown...

Not liking the fact I was forced to walk away from the way u breathe...

I don't wanna confuse the true nature of the way u think of me...

Nor the roll I am to play in ur life as the go to...

Who is it I am to someone like u.?.

At a distance where I cannot tell...

U linger in the crowd as I'm still not by anyone felt...

Seems I've waited some time to know if u could reason with me as never missed...

Why is it u speak of me n act towards me two different ways of fitting in.?.

As ur words use me as someone u miss or some kinda shit...

Yet, the heart has been given the key in return for ur the same one that refuses to admit it...

Or am I wrong for thinking of what I heard from ur own lips...

How it's hard to be with someone else.?.

Of how u periodically wanna appear to be seen as no fucking help...

N how u shy away from what it is u really wanna say...

Priceless is the friendship u seek so u can feel better when u say my name...

Thing is u could tell me anything as if we were fam...

U heard me tell u we'd be strangers again...

So what is it u want now that it's done past the moment where emotion were claiming death.?.

That is if u have realized I cherish u as a friend...

Life only happens once as choices have be made...

Slits cut so deep snips freed this one to regain character enslaved...

How is it u wanna spend ur time.?.

Bothering me isn't a factor in whatever concoction you've stirred up in ur mind...

Who's to be gained n who is the owner of the heart ok with goin without.?.
You'll not once hear negativity come from my mouth...

Whatever the level of relations it is to be...
I stand as I've stood on who I am for u to forget I cared enough to haunt ur dreams...
Good wasn't even close to what vibes lost in the middle of finding myself...
Jus to be reminded of u as u tend to wanna talk as if words are felt...
I seen me in ur eyes the last time we met...
Into the texture of ur chest...
As life refuses to stop to entertain acts put on by the best...
Attempting to grab my interest...
Yet won't speak on the sole purpose that reaches out to be matched...
What's the catch.?.

respawned.!.

saved from self by the touch in which soothes the ache...

able to admit who would be more than considered if the situation was face to closing space...
lifetimes chance if the eyes jus couldn't get enough...

kept safe from the others so no harm will ever give the same type of luv...
jus to pour emotions into a blinder with the thoughts that ride together through life...

friends first as the pleasure is never to fade from the gratitude of likes...

talk with a tongue or use it is the mature concept way of living as two create what intrigues usefulness...

wanting the compassion settling in nerves thought to go unhealed by the lack of happiness...

given shelter in arms as thighs become body pillows wrapped the fuck up..

 claimed to simply live the way one comes, is to transform due to limits so sensuous...

emotion on the run for the horizons shared are living proof of what exists...

there's stares that partake in the silence when no one seems to be looking below the hips...
flirtatiously inviting to bond closer then what others are allowed to even think out loud...

rescued from the solitude where misfortune gives reasons to remain alone...

hearts when found leaning towards the flat line that peeks with vibrations deeper into the nights going home...

pulses relaxed from the snug positioning that tells it all...

respawned.!.