Rambling on the dark...

Who am I might I ask everyday... No one special comes to mind as thoughts chase my brain... Lookin mirrors like, u ain't shit... N the truth of the matter is I ain't no one to be missed... So who is it in the real world without words that comes to life... Always tryin get otherwise to smile while I secretly hide... Tucked behind smiles is no true place to exist... Yet here i am alone in the dark without a single word dancing across my lips... The me who no one can witness is whom desires untold truths... Hidden away in depths goin untouched by a true friend claiming use... I'm nothin more than another have in the crowd goin numb... Secretly wanting the feel back I thought I found as like want the equivalent of luv... Knowing my thoughts get to the better version of my heart... N memories only set of the sounds of alarms... As the passion within knows what it needs to survive... A different type jus ain't a part of the way i feel that vibe... I guess that's jus a lil piece of me that'll go without saying into the open air... As I drift on the thought of who is it within that defines the individual lurking so rare... Or am I like everyone else n jus not know it as of yet.?. A pawn in a game in which I've lost my eagerness to play when movement is spent... In complete understanding of what willingness holds in... What am I if i hide behind my grin.?. Am I convinced my reflection is the better visual others seek.?. Yeah, bcuz I to feel shit when feeling the want of needs... But who is it I've come to be when the question comes to call.?. I'm someone who isn't attached to words read hoping one day to truly fall... One that awaits that spark lighting up from the inside out... Goin to waste until the day recons to come along n give meaning to the chatter from my own mouth... Silent I am for the attraction to the wrong one will refuse relations in the long run... So who am I waiting patiently for the entanglement of trust.?. Sitting alone like so many others wondering is it me.?. As the thoughts exist the mind due the blame of past times was never provoked by my own list dreams...