Dream girl...

You're beautiful. But you'll never hear me tell you how deeply I'm attracted to you. N that's the saddest thing I've ever come to know. Oh how the heart fears the let down on the move When it comes to you. When it comes to you. Yeah, it's yet to happen bcuz you have no idea I have a thing for you. Who am I to interrupt your singlism at it's finest. No it's not a word but fuck me over you. I'm a bit too much n I'd hate to not be me. So I sit back n wait on the day another fella woos you. Someone a little more into giving you your way. All bcuz I to matter n have a reason to mingle with you. But I can't step up n speak n I dunno why. I'm trying to understand this whole thing about you. N how I just wanna reach for a response. To become that one person to you. N yet here I am letting the feeling go to waste. N damn me if I can't stop thinking about you. As even my dreams come to life even you're in them. Awakening me in a different world where I can't keep me from you. You're breathtaking to someone like me. Lost in this place where there's no I in you. Maybe if you knew than possibly the thoughts could find a way. I'm just scared to to lose the issue of you. N we haven't even began to start. Mainly bcuz your silhouette has no face n it's not your vanity I set in you...

Behind closed n locked doors...

Wait! It'll be worth it. Or it'll just sound good in your head until it's too late. With a lingering feel of it's all bs. Sitting around staring at materials that cannot interact. But at least you'll be established if they ever come along. Big facts. Either way life goes can you go wrong? It'll be peaceful ASF truly finding self. Rounding out to be someone to reckon with. Knowing in life you don't need help. But the gesture in time will be fulfilling to actually live. As long lonely nights when there's nothing to do creep on up. Depending on the patience to be in the moment in which you are. One day, one night, n repeated while holding out for likes to cling to luv. Telling emotion to settle down in the contents of the heart. As single as the mind can withstand a friend to appear. Losing the restraints to be as is n nothing less. Distant from hands wanting to touch the thrill of the vibe ever so clear. Never to look into eyes until that one can't resist the depths reaching for rescuing from the chest. That is if the comfort of the solitude doesn't get you first. Capturing the best of you behind closed n locked doors. With not one person ever to see the real truth of muted worths. As the linger soothes the beast from ever wanting anything more. But, wait! It'll be worth it. Or it'll damn you too the voices that have no sound that mimics a mate. Drifting in a world where the smile doesn't match the efforts of the ribs. Missing the chuckles that create a difference in the middle of life. But if the rush moves to fast then it's back to square one. Starting all over again for the last time. So it's fuck feeling numb. Stages of the outcome change self a little too much. As not just anyone gets to come inside. Trust, exploring lusts, laying flush, n ooh the gush. Asking does every level exist in a package on display for the mind? Opened to the known. Free but earned. With a sense of humor but fully grown. Waiting on a turn. In the cycle of getting lost somewhere in the elsewhere of, huh? Trying not to die before the best of what's remains isn't considered what's left. Having a new feel daily to regain the fun. To wait on another who simply says, yes!

If the choice was yours...

And what if it was you and I alone in a room. With nothing but life between the two of us wanting to live. Would you fight me off the way I would you? If the moment just happened to present a chance to come from within the minds wits. As we stare in silence for the wonder to speak. If there was a you and a me behind closed doors. Hearing heartbeats as breaths tell on the way we breathe. Or if there's a possibility that we'd give in to wanting more? And let's say we found ourselves together with no one else around. What do you believe you'd do if the choice was there? Standing before you as you in front of me. Bcuz my curiosity would be looking for a certain gaze in the eyes of playing fair. On this side of daydreams where neither of us can leave. With the locks that haven't a key to open to the escape. Who would I be to someone like you wasting away? In a situation searching for a way out. Having time spent too realize I have a use that's gone untamed. Like you, in the presence of just once, moving without sound. Trust me, I'd refuse you by all means just the same. Ignoring the fact that just maybe you're different as we'd be too proud. In the center of the universe where there should be a lit flame. The chill from cold hearts just may be the end. Before the beginning ever takes place. Bcuz we're unwilling to give up the peace chancing to get close another so called friend. As we'd prolly shy away from remembering each other's face. Tell me I'm wrong and avoid the scenario of you, with me. Somewhere without others lurking about. Able to decide for self if it be okay to set the burden free. To put all the fuckin weight down...

Gropped...

Warm hand. Snug squeeze. Thumbs n fingers applied to the sides of the throat. Watching her eyes roll with a silent please. Deep. His fingers made it past her panty line. Down, oh so far down between her legs he felt her sighs. Doubling up for a feel for to match desires come from within her. Moving in sync with passionate strokes. Slow motions catering to her free will. Moans coming to life as she's gently being groped. With a nibble of the lip she begins to come undone. Hips grinding his fingertips on her clit. She gives into his tender touch. Toying with pulsating nerves throbbing with sensitized ends. Rotating her eyes upwards. Into the back of her heart they go. Oh no, she's falling in his hands. Losing control. She twitches as she cums. Amazed of how he makes his way through her lips. Her body tightens trying to fight a second  pop. She knows he enjoys caressing the slide of how wet she gets. As he whispers, get it, in her ear. Causing her hormones to shake. As he drops to his knees for her to get one off on his face. Creating an explosion that just can't wait. N again with the tongue swirling, she reaching her tippy toes. Damn near climbing the wall with one after another firing off. Until she stiffens up n push his head away from her mind that's just been blown...

Submit...

Gimme that azz. Come on over here n feed my appetite. Mmm, yeah. Bend on over as I bring you to life.

Soft, firm. Your thumper appears to need a friend. Lemme have it. With no limits as you cum again n again.

Bent at the hips, legs straight. Spread em n relax n lock your knees, don't fall. They're gonna get weak before I get done enjoying the taste.

No lie, no threat. Trust me when I say it'll please me more. Dropping down behind you to put in some work. Face buried as I get low down on the floor.

Restrained at the ankles to the bed. Arms pinned n tied behind your back. It's a beautiful look for you. It's you I hate have.

I'm not playing, don't say no. I got you for a few as I shower in your in your fantasies. Get comfy with your lean, arch ya back. I'm about to change your mind about me.

Come feel my tongue twirl n open up. Wider as I find my way past your lips. With hands full, gripping the flesh. Pushing your cheeks aside, getting deeper. Sweet thang it's you imma bless.

Share it with me. I'm all in n dedicated to the cause. My heads crave you. Both of them wanna entertain the caressing to the stretching of your walls.

But I jus wanna eat, for now. To get you off n to hear the way you moan. Bare yourself, waste down naked n felt on. I promise I won't be able to leave you alone.

We should collaborate to feel the flow. Stroked in thrusts. Sound off n try to remain in the position input you in. Oh my, mentally I can't get enough.

So lets see about the physical activity n shut off the lights. To every end of your sensitive nerves I'll go. Once your nice n loose n slipping on n off my shaft. Can you feel it? I insist on rearranging your facial expression until you pop with a oooh, as you can't last.

One, two, three, let's see where it goes. Licky licky, I'm a better when put to use. Just grip the pillow n try not to hold your breath. I'll be listening from the backside of your orgasms escaping your body as you move.

It's on me to turn you on. Unhinging the jaws. Breaking you off. Just do what your suppose to. Rotate your hips to the tongue's skills scuba diving into the way across the bed you wanna crawl.

Come get served. Thoughts deserve to live. Do that ahh, yeah. Right there, for me. Gimme a sip... 

A sensation felt...

The slower the feel the more intrigued the heart will become. Moving with passion flowing from within as the moment whispers of luv. Connecting through a sensation felt deeper than hope. Falling to the touch in the middle of the night as trust roams. Pulsating on the tips fingertips feeling their way around curves wanting to be explored. As the beast eases into a tamed comprehension of wanting more. With lips sliding from a kiss to taste the breath with the mood. Desires motion creating thrusts that work emotions loose. To combine was one with a friend barred to the flesh. Allowing the contents from within to come to the surface of the chest. As a pause slows into a stare to witness truth in the eyes. With bodies wrapped around the one person that fulfills life. For the knowing of likes through movements coexisting for pleasure to breathe. To hear soft gasps in the ear to settle the need. Defining the closest thing to perfection self has ever come to enjoy. Drifting with pieces of sacred devotion deployed. Feeding hormones to the walls as moans are heard. Coming from depths to dance with shadows flickering playfully to a single flame in a peripheral blur. All in the act of making luv for the first time that has a purpose of worth. As the inner makings are joined in a sensation felt without words...

Craving attention...

How many likes will it take to feed your ego? Taking into consideration of the starvation of your pics as you call men thirsty. Does your hypocritical side ignore who your are? Arrogance is an ugly thing as you truly feel men aren't worthy. Adding so many faces just to talk shit like the fucktards won't step outta line. What's your number of actual friends up to so we know your angle put on display. Honestly is the key is what we hear, but is it really? But you don't havta exploit yourself as your vanity is only thing that defines the expressions upon your face...

She came back for her...

As she can finally see her own joy in her eyes. Realizing it was herself that's she's missed for some time. Hands down there's no more battle of confliction in her mind. Fists no longer clinched to the fight. Her smile changes shape with chuckles deserved. That twinkle comes back to life knowing there's no reason to hurt. As sighs released are for once not rehearsed. Able n willing to feel alive she's come full circle back to worth. She finally has the answers coming from within. Becoming her own friend again. Redefining the strength of a familiar grin. She's found peace within. Damn, how she bounced back from nowhere the way she did. In tune with the beautiful individual within with a nibble of the lip. She just didn't need anyone else with her in the room to gather her shit. She's come around to the imperfection of the stranger transformed in the mirror gaining a tender rib. As her laugh is something to listen to. It's pure n pleasant to the sound creating her own mood. She's accepted her truths. Did a little dance in a circle n now this the way she moves. As free as air she's a hoot. Comforted by the pieces of her heart that has realigned. Believing j herself as now she will be just fine. Having a different definition of mine. Bcuz that's who's she is as self defined...

"finally"...

Good days, bad days. And then there's those in between. I can't seem to tell them apart anymore. I'm losing focus in this dream.

Tell me I'm crazy. Anything but lost. Wake me up. My reality is a fictional flaw.

Life is an absent wasteland. My heart is coming undone. I cannot relate to emotion. I just wanna go home.

But there's no such place that I know of. No feeling but the me, myself and I. I've gone and crossed over without memories made. I'm alone in my mind.

I'm back to the basics. As all I can whisper along to music in the dark is, "finally". But I don't know how feel alive. Smiles tremble in fear bcuz I'm a just me.

Hiding passions more than worth the cause. Fighting the drips of tears. Good night's, sleepless depths. What have I become through the years?

I cannot remember how to let someone in. The confusion has condemned me to the silence sighing. But I can hear my heartbeat pulsate like It has so much more to give. I wish I were lying.

I've trapped myself within. As craves are crawling through my chest. Pounding and begging to be released. As I lay the thought to rest.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. There's a mental blockage refusing use even though. My skin is numb. Without nerves to go sensitive with luv.

Fingers aren't felt when applied in a stroke. Nor do fingerprints comprehend the sensation in a caress. I'm damned by all means to a lifetime in chains. Disabled and outta sync is thy will to invest.

Distant to any other attempting to dig in to me. As even sexual thrills are pointless n cheap. Motionless in the inner makings that have been emptied n freed. But I'm back to square one, "finally".

Back to a blank slate where I to can figure out what's to gain. With no weight carried on. I'm who I used to be before I ever stumbled upon hope. Prior to the heart on the sleeve that was worn.

Good times. Bad times. I don't care to think. There's nothing in my head but me resisting the pleasures desired. And honestly, all I wanna fuckin do is breathe...

Wasting away...

So much life going on within. N yet, time ticks as if self has nothing to give. With every night the empty sinks into the heart. Alone is a battle seeking some sorta charm. With unused attempts to be happy. And less than perfect reasons to feel crappy. Being torn between able and refusals creates an aches. It's a stagnant repulsive desire to be left alone. As in the same sense it be nice to share a home. With so much bottled up going to waste. The isolation comforts the safety of the sane. The ones losing their minds behind the walls. Locking the doors so the world can forget as they suck in a pause. Creeping along with passion begging to be freed. So another can feel the build up stunned at thee. To be the difference even they wish to enjoy. Filling depths to concur the void. There's a warmth in the chest defeated by the mind. Protected and yet restricted to live up to the hype. Held in is the makings that could be felt in smiles for years. As the only thing escaping from time to time is a single fucking tear...

Brief talks...

Eased back. Letting their phase evolve. Just trying to be a friend. Something real enough to wait until they're problems are solved. Conversation speaks. Relating to life. Showing who self is. Then they're off to the rush of another making them feel alive. Ignored is the becoming. To be reminded of the gimme gimme mentality. Watching words and actions collide anther hopeful thought forgotten in the middle of reality.  Patience. You witness then gather themselves. Bcuz relations aren't so easy. But it's just another moment where they needed some help. Someone to listen. Brining reason to the pain of choices made. Using been told to heal isn't gonna happen overnight. As they taste the sound of another's name. Like a strong stone. As is trying to be respectful. Wanting to see if they have it in them to round out. As getting back to self first without being resentful. With words that help. A connection comes to be. Defining a stable knowing of each other. N then life they never existed they never make it to be a memory. Sad truths of a mindful man. Aware of others emotions needing to be felt at all costs. Through the lonely stage they talk a lot. Just to dismiss the content of wants and needs they can't be helped. They just wanna be heard. Noticed by someone who gets the facts. And in they're reincarnation they simply cannot wait. Not on someone willing give time a chance. So they too don't covering up old feelings and bs with smiles forced upon the face. It's an attention thing but it's cool. Closing to see someone but refuse to grow as an individual. It's always that fresh sense of cheep thrills that concurs the heart. Turning away from the mental aspect of what it takes to be subliminal...

Places...

Pick a place. Somewhere you'd feel safe. As you enjoy your time. Living in the moment creating life. Choose a destination. So your smile feels the levitation. With chuckles that vibe. And reason has a why. Decide where you'd go. If anywhere moved slow. So you could enjoy the makings of memories. Far from the hating of enemies. Select a whereabouts that defines your interests. Allowing you to accept the differences. Where in this world is it that loosens the bones. I prefer a little place called home. A spot where friends are made. Knowing vacations aren't ever the same. Only if I knew where mine was. Bcuz that's the only place I'd fall in luv. Sharing space with someone like no other. Then plans could expand beyond the walls from becoming luv'rs. To gain what's to be remember here or there. As it ain't no fun without another to breathe in the air. From cost to coast. To seeing the offers of coordinates never spent alone. I'd go with a house prior to daydreams off balanced to say the least. From there the endless possibilities will lead...

Pointless...

Do you ever feel it's all for fuckin nothing? With so much life to live all you are is caught up in financial gains. But with everything there's always something. N without the funds the experience is a game. Trying to move pieces to heavy for a single person to budge. It's a cycle of sacrifice or be broke ASF. N let's not talk about how everyone claims to be the definition of luv. Like wtf? Is there no end other than the bitter calling of the end? Waiting it's turn to finally fuck us all over one by one. All within a society that's designed to capture free will spent. Day in day out like a bunch of nitwits coming undone. As the older we get the less sense it all makes. Struggling to simply live. Going through the rotation of emotions upon the face. Eventually believing there's nothing self can truly give...

Ever changing norm...

Shits n giggles falling down the cheek like rain. It leaks out to humble the mind damn near coming outta it's frame. Fuck each tear sliding with the curve of the face. But am outlet is needed behind closed doors to fell sane. It ain't always about how middle fingers stand upright. Sometimes letting loose of the pressure relieves the fight. Settling the nerve so it to can have a night off. To bare the details changing within that simply feel lost. In such a huge world where outta millions only a few can be counted on. Just to feel the moisture flow n let go of an ever changing norm. With laughs that halt to relieve the heart of the weight applied. Unable to hide truths so self is incapable of lies. N that's when the depths surface to rise to the occasion. Giving one good cry up for the sake of what's known as a sensation. As getting back to life is just a thing that happens. Until the next time a little therapeutic whimper eases the beast needing a bit of compassion. When the pour is too much to ever hold in. So chuckles can once again create a grin.

Low tide...

And what if I couldn't go at life alone? Is there anything else needed to be known? With everything I'm about to follow my truths up with. Do you seriously question the words sitting upon my lips? If it was you that I found irreplaceable. Somehow fell in n never expected to return from a life so sensational. Like I feel like the me I am meant to be when you're around. Could you relate to true intentions craving to hear my name come outta your mouth? So the rest of my life I don't have look anywhere but into your eyes. To reason with a friend staring me down bcuz I'm that sigh. Can you see me baring all that I am? Are you witness to use attachment before you waiting to be more than just your biggest fan? I'm here. N I'm not hesitating to express the excitement shifting gears. You don't havta be alone. I'm more than worth the satisfaction if you see fit to find me sharing a home. No jokes, no gimmicks. What's the odds of you comprehending the ends of my no limits? Opened to the depths lowering tide for you to linger about. As is n with patience to accept the fact that I wanna know your every sound. Is it believable to hear me say such a thing? Or am I just not convincing? Perhaps a little too much? If so, I've said enough. 

Asking, for me...

Where are you looking for yourself? Is there nothing that seems to fit into the mental embrace of changing without being felt? In what sense of normal is it you seek? How in the fuck would you know where to belong if lost makes you wanna leave? Who is it that you've misplaced along the way? Are you grasping the content in the questions displayed in front of your face? What will it take for you to shake loose from the twitch others create? Do you ever come full circle to witness self mimic the after effect taking up precious space? When will it ever be ok to calm the nerves while waiting on the answer to appear? Why the constant torture of perfection you know will never exist without a few tears?

Dropped out...

Once falling outta luv there's no bottom to fall through. So climbing back up yet no ground to stand on when hope loses interest in the noose. Dangling n waiting patiently to put the hearts comments on display. Send young straight through to the other end of wtf changes the subtle approach so expressions are recognized upon the face. It takes one good upmfh to disrupt worth held firm. When the foundation plummets fun beneath the feet. What felt so free is classified as a thing placed back into dreams. As emotion becomes overrated to protect self from stranger's hidden intent. All of this is a learning from the descending pain weighing down thoughts that never vent. They're just images intruding on the belief when ready thought is was indeed. For a single depth touched deeper than any other year gotten to well forsaken a bitter reality. Shining onlookers having a curiosity of wanting in. But they haven't the pattern on the spiral effect down that's tucked safely behind the grin.

Going without...

I turn down offers to hang out. Not really into having people in my memories that aren't gonna be around. It's not them, it's me. I just don't have a need in sorting out details with too many faces roaming free. One could say I've  lost the feeling of being alive. Or that I'm not living enough, but it's my life. I wanna remember just one person in my best times that never ends. Or nothing at all works due to not just anyone is a real friend. I'm out there n going without the makings that create a week earned past. It's just I don't know where to begin n time is moving so fuckin fast. N others have suggested I get out for a bit. Although being alone isn't my version of enjoying the uplift. Bcuz it's right back home I go to state at the walls. With moments taking up space that won't mean shit other than that one time life paused. N how many of them are already scattered admit I'm the head? Shit, I see expressions shape shift from those who aren't with me now. N all I can think of is wtf is the purpose of the mingle if not shared with a wow. Damn this phase n fuck the stage to be seen. Even though generosities are a gesture nice enough to help me breathe. But there's no effort on my part to blend into the crowd. The solo act is just better if there's no one else craved in the now. To create a way to be as one bcuz a use has been found. N yet, here I linger as people attempt to stretch out their days. Coexisting just bcuz they can birth their fate....

Unmistakeable...

It's a look that says it all. Even after a long day there's am excitement that continuously falls. Someone's there tears of the unbelievable feeling that leaks. It's unmistakable when noticed in a sigh that breathes. When you can't see anyone other than self in their stare. Just to feel arms wrap with an assertive squeeze shared. Knowing no one could ever fulfill the enjoyment to the heart's needs. On the next level of friends opening up to embrace the dream. It's in the twinkle that shines in their eyes. Telling truths of an unbreakable bond that is so much more than life. When they cannot wait to be near who it is they luv. As peeks from even across the room create smiles that have earned a trust. In a total collapse when cuddling to a use well deserved. It's the eagerness to be in the presence as emotions are no longer on reserve. With a purity of them knowing who it is they want. Giving themselves as is bcuz they accept the daily rush. The willingness to be seen as friends leading the moment for a tomorrow to appear. To be side by side ever so naturally real...

Dimes n nickels...

What's your digits? Not your phone number. How much net are you working with?? I'm just trying to see if you've leveled up. N to compare how much with money you've fallen in luv. Yeah, I know the solo act changes the process. N I really hope you ain't the type to be blabbering at the gums of being a hot mess. Nor arrogant bcuz you can do for self. Ugly is ugly inside or out so that cockiness isn't felt. N it ain't about no weak man that can't handle you. The issue with that silliness is, every man that hasn't worked in your life hasn't challenged your use. I'm on some other shit that creates a better life. Like, whatcha working with mentally so I can configure my reasons to fuck with you in the middle of the night. Too close is a thing when someone who can't match my vibe is just there. Honestly speaking I'm straight to the point n playing fair. What's your life like when you sit back to take it in? Once the day has gone n the body eases back again. I'm wondering how self motivated you truly are. N how much I could save you as you do I by joining forces if that's what's in the cards. Financial responsibilities ain't cheap when the rif raf isn't a part of your every move. Most cases show those around us affect our daily moods. But even with a little change jingling with a swish. Do you live below your means so your not tapped out always making a wish? Some shit jus doesn't make sense in my state of mind. As I ponder of your intellect n how I find you to be so damn fine. Even though looks are receiving to the naked eye taking notice. Though, would stepping to you truly be worth it?  Life's halfway gone for me n I ain't attempting no bs not here nor there. Don't mind me, I was jus thinking of the ifs of if an us were to ever be compared...

The choice is yours...

Aye. Am I mistaking or was that look aimed at me? I noticed it but haven't seen it in quite a while. Not with that smirk you have laid up in your smile. It's cool. I watched how your stare quickly moved. Maybe I want supposed to witness you thoughts upon you face. Idk, but you got caught so Imma ask you your name. Just bcuz I liked the expression used on me. It was seriously relieving to be considered without mentioning a thing. N then I glanced into your eyes n got stuck. Even though you told them away before I could show you up. I mean, looking past what I seen was fuckin rare. In that split second I gathered how you'd be someone who played fair. Even with how quick you focused on something else. But I didn't make it awkward but I know that I was felt. I'm my own moment to snap a visual image if like to get to know. Plus, you started it so I believe I have One chance to cash in some hope. You see I'm not into just anyone throwing sight around. There's a certain come get me that speaks as being found. That's what I recognized n you know it's true. But hey, no pressure due to I'm not trying to work you loose. I'd rather enjoy the natural way you paused taking a gander at me. Bcuz I know there's something deeper for the right one, you'd set yourself free. N if it appears anything like what I couldn't spare a blink for. I'd let my curiosity meet you in the middle of comfort craving to see more. I'll leave the choice up to you bcuz it's possible you're willing to call a truce. No one ever peeps at another the way you followed my unknowing with a use....

You're gonna be beautiful...

I could never be there on the happiest day of your life. Bcuz it isn't me you'd be looking at so let's talk about life. And how your smile is the one thing I'll never see at it's greatest interaction. Bcuz I'm gonna be somewhere else when you feel it stretch across your face with satisfaction. Raw truths n real content of how I just went witness that look in your eyes. Bcuz it wasn't meant for me to see your with hair tears as you cry. With an overwhelming emotion that captures your breath. Damn, you're gonna be beautiful when you share the moment with someone else instead. Bcuz your priceless devotion isn't mine to have. As I just couldn't steal away the thrill of a lifetime from you tender grasp. And even as a friend I don't believe it's something I wanna take. Bcuz it should've been me in do time that shakes your grin. So no I won't take part in your special day. Bcuz I'll have an afterlife to deal with as you forget my name. As I imagine you standing in the middle of life shinning from ear to ear. Knowing the reality of it is coming near. With every second I waste hiding myself from your touch. I must apologize for allowing another to create for you a trust. I'm just not to be the sigh just after a kiss. Like life you must go on as you'll never know how much I truly wanted to be your wish. To see the passion in your expressions put to use. Soon enough I'll be absent and you'll be consumed. Giving all that you are to a different stranger you yet might not know. No, I won't be present as your heart tends to grow. I'll be tucked behind locked doors safe from every hurting you for a first time. Savoring the thought of us so fuckin alive. As you establish a reason to open up and adjust to another that isn't me. Bcuz I couldn't see myself being hated at the end of the dream. After seeing you at the peak of the flame falling in luv. I don't wanna watch you burn bcuz I'm simply not enough. So when you're feeling like nothing in this life good ever get any more amplified.  I'll be your biggest fan who's aching in your every heartbeat rectified...

Changing faces...

It truly gets old. How certain people come along and the heart wants to unfold. Going through the same phase with a stranger to be known. And it's the initial thrill that sucks in a repetitive ambition let the fuck down. How many times will it take to gain comforts that lasts. To enjoy someone else that knows self craves to create the memories from a week earned past? It's beyond words of what the heart truly feels. If everyone was real then why is there so many lost even though they've healed? The baffoonery is a sideshow that entertains those who catch on. Forcing self to engage in a different type of unwanted but very well needed norm. Away from the chaos that takes place in relations that end way too fuckin soon. It's better to remain alone that to come back in pain to the same fuckin room. Try or die alone. Adjust to luv and then what when eventually the other person never comes home? It's a revolving door of faces that smile as favorites. And they partake willingly in the mix but yet live a different life as if passions cannot savor it. Taken it's the purpose to cling to another. From afar to get in with life when losing just another luv'r. In due time the beginning is inevitably useless to entertain the belittlement. With new smiles to chuckles that spark curiosities with a plethora of fulfilments. In a cycle of sharing details not everyone needs to know over and over and over again. When it's just one person in a sense of being needed that could settle the nerves as a real friend. The roundabout of the game played just isn't appealing at all. So behind the eyes thoughts build the desired height of each brick paced in the walls...

Exposing depths...

Telling the tale of wants describes the identity of chameleons posing a hidden threat. As they touch vital components that matter the most when laying in bed. To give info to the pretenders defeats the purpose of genuine interactions to be determined by time. N yet words find their way to the lips to be tasted as if self refuses to believe snakes linger in emotional hype. Whispering all the little things that seen to matter to the heart. When flush becomes the comfort snuggled up in the dark. Speaking of the sacred pieces that make up the inner being just wanting to be luv'd. As in giving away secrets that short another's free will to be who they are by mimicking what's they choose to hush. Lies and manipulation creep along as life slowly plays out. Creating new facial expressions to come that cannot maintain so called truths found. When strangers become friends that never meant to be more than a lingering feel for a short while. Diluting the thrill captured by the purity of the lost smile. As use is seen in true form for the initial gestures waste off all to often. Forcing a wedge that builds a wall a little higher than prior due to how hands felt self softened. In a vulnerable state of honesty opening up. The tongue flips with a rambling craving to be known for the sake of luv. To get through the introduction a little bit quicker so the fun can begin. And I'm the doings the joy of being found without mentioning eventually cripples the grin. Applying weight to the chest that suffocates what's been traded to obtain relations on a higher level. Fair it until they make it is the moto so they can enjoy memories trapped in the head that need a deep burial slug by the shovel. They chuckle knowing what's allowed to infiltrate a victim. All bcuz self have away the wants and needs that make a difference just to receive the spew of venom. As the pain spreads as if dying alive was indeed more real than it already is. Wearing the betrayal like a shadow during the day just to be surrounded by the lack there of of a worth abandoned by a kiss. Stripped of the willingness to show who it is as self bcuz others only dabble periodically in a false sense of compassion. Meeting it harder the next go around to accept the overwhelming feeling to express any type of passion...

No recollection...

 Remind me of what is like. Or of the feeling I'm supposed to have. It send my thoughts condone my time. And I'm overthinking emotion as if it's a scab. Maybe I need you to just be real. Without all the overwhelming nonsense. Yeah, I'm trying to remember the feel. Although I cannot lay down my defense. I'm always in high alert. Waiting for true colors to be put on display. Like you I don't wanna hurt. Like me I hope you can relate. It's just, I cannot get back to opening up. Something's missing beneath the surface. There's a void in depths craving to be luv'd. And it's damn near as if relations is worthless. Help me understand what kinda friend you are. I'm curious to know what it is you want. Bcuz what you don't know is I'm not giving you my heart. But to earn it is a task that doesn't blush. I'm at a loss and I'm not sure what to say. Passion isn't flowing the way it should. I just don't believe in strangers wanting to become a familiar face. I'm lacking the relevance of complimentary bonds outside of being friends. The deeper you reach the more hollow I fall. Into the unknown darkness where you cannot find me to defend. So tell me again of how I'm living life flawed. Just protecting myself from the aches and pains. It's like my natural guard blocks me mentally from the memory of how I once was. By keeping me safe in a way I cannot explain. I think I need some insight to gain a thing called trust. Bcuz I alone have drifted from desires that know not the rush. Nor the eagerness to hurry into the confusion waiting around to be seen. I might be a dead man walking who's unable to sink into the flesh flush. Standing in place and unaware of a use before it leaves...

The endless cycle...

I lost my smile again today bcuz I don't know where I belong. I have a home but yet it's as empty as a heart pleading with every sad song. As the secret is mine in the making of awakening to each day with hope. Just to avoid other through details so self can remain a loaf. My thrill bottomed out once again. N it's hard to fight even there's nothing to ever begin. Time just keeps going as I feel misplaced so often. As everyday tends to be the same ol same creeping into my coffin. I'm losing me daily n idk why. Reincarnated by morning just to die by night. It's an endless cycle that trusts no one that leads the way. N I haven't felt alive since I wiped a half cocked grin from my face. It just seems pointless to pretend I'm ok. When I collapsed in the makings of being positive by midday. There's no purpose other than to live. N without some sorta thrill emotion had nada to give. Creating a bottomless funk that claims all thoughts. N there's no turning it off once the slip isn't caught. Down I go with the corners of my mouth. Sinking into solitude never to be found. But daybreak will come after I've slept it off. N then maybe I'll break the endless cycle n find a reason to pause...

The idling wonder...

Without a face to comfort the ache. Life slips away with emotions escape. Leaving the mental estate of the mind in wonder to stall. Not knowing where to turn to have a life worth luv's fall. As gain is a confusion once obtaining self. Quit no features for eyes to text upon sight cannot create anything felt. Defining the lone drifter feeling lost within. One in which that could use just on confirming kiss. To be touched from across the room not many can understand. Becoming closer no matter the distance in between the friendship worn like a tan. With the absence of a smile that defines free will. Passion is a pain that has lost its thrill. Having no known whereabouts of who it is that completes the crave. There's simply no one in sight that uplifts the heart to play with the flame. The void is the calm waiting at patience are lost. As giving up on the dream is the ultimate cost. For it's the common use of a friendly gesture that loosens the gates. But where is the one irreplaceable down to shaping of the lips to say their name?

On our own...

All for the sake of nothing... Nothing in return for the all. Welcome to the party known as your life. Paying contributes to phases that get trapped mentally once installed. Everything for the better to end up without. As going without defines moments not lived. Being too busy or secluded to have the will to mingle. There's comfort in the lonely solitude when hating the feeling of single. No good comes from the bad. N yet the bad captures all good thoughts give to waste. With time using up what one can never get back. A chance to create a smile upon the face. Hopelessness starves confidence as the belief is confused. Confiding in no one as hope is lost. Beginning a desperation as days turn into years. Missing out on the details craved by the fall. Straight through like nothing ever happened but the pain. For what does happen is the struggle that pains free will. Knowing one wrong decision is all it takes. N right back to the basics on a solo ride is a thrill less chill. Friends matter when relevance crosses paths. When we each have a path of our own that changes with the shape shifting of a friend. So alone is the true origins of sharing the state of mind. Thinking bonds last forever when in actuality the come n go as if chapters that have an end. Simultaneously the stand wants to enjoy a little bit of something. But something else is a recreation the transforms a simultaneous chance. One that alters as we grow older on our own. As nothing is meant to remain as the same as the day before emotions enhanced. Drifting is the chaos in the head that cannot find a calm. Caught up in the calming of wanting a need to stop the drift. Powerless we're of sequences occurring that are periodically misplaced. As choices made eventually resemble what we become doing the journey of the trip...

Uprising...

Cleaning out the heart, changing up. Taking care of the inner makings, not giving a fuck. Mean, yeah I may be too those who can't get what they want. This dick isn't on tap n thy heart? Fuck instant luv. Checking out, I'm switching up. N muttering nonsense isn't a thing to me, hush hush. Actions through time is a course well taken. No patient? No interest? N I'm gone with the owning of the consistency of the blaming. I'm tweaking who I am to better my life. N the control you want over me just doesn't exist. N honestly I have a choice to enjoy your soft azz lips. Don't play with me. I'm not what you think I am. Respectfully you'll luv to hate me in the nicest way. As a man. Never to spoil your ego feeding on emotion. I got me in every sense of wants are chosen devotions. I'm correcting the mind so what matters sense.  Relations ain't shit without a friend who knows what it means to live. In my own, the world I see doesn't consider the transfer of power. It's more subtle to be genuine by having limits avoiding moods crossing lines every other half an hour. I'm not what you're used to n I'm not giving into the bullshit. There's a unity going on inside of me. With an ease the head n chest collaborated to detail my sacred pled. N you get what's been defined as who it is I truly come to be. So breathe. Accept I'm not your version of a silhouette that sets you free. I have me that craves the feel of life. All silliness aside. My time isn't something taken for granted. Do be dismantled before my eyes in an act of single handed. Nah, I'm flipping the odds n it's your loss. Precious, cherished, it's me as my own boss. A one man army loosening up to my true self. I have a worth n the same ol hootinanny isn't felt. The deeper the dig the more shallow vanity appears. My depths aren't for your fiddling so let's make it clear. Stand on what you believe n do not twitch. One wrong move n you're just another bitch. Flat out. Face to face. Ghosted due to the inconsistency you twiddle with. N it hasn't a thing to do with hate. We are who we are. N I'm riding up to the occasion to present myself. No harm no foul. It's ok to be oneself. As I have me every fuckin day. You're gonna havta like me to luv me bcuz I don't do hate. I'm evolving so I can smile just being alive. Ignoring the rush of someone new who cannot wait to absorb the hype. Not me. I have have better things to do. I come with a package not dead weight. N I won't think twice to have you removed. To become a memory I do not recollect. A part tense particle forgotten at best. As my up doesn't align with your down. So tell me, how does that sound? You tugging on my week being just bcuz you can. Bcuz I allow you to torment the palms of my hands. I need not fingers entangled with such a grip. Foe, if you are, will never be missed. I've glitched n seen the ugliness of who I was. From the other side of wtf I turned on my own gut. N n that I've claimed my sanity that you can never have. Tell me if you will, why shouldn't I sidestep you as a poof in my past?

Clock me out...

Come on clock. I gotta go. There's something I need to do. I can't hold it. I don't wanna. It's explicit but damn it feels good. Clock, will you hurry the fuck up? I'm ready to pop. I can't wait. I feel it coming. Wtf!? Clock!!! Help me out. Send me home. In the privacy of my own twisted grip. Alone n imagining things unmentionable to most. Wanting to play. To jerk. To loosen the fuck up. I'm losing it. The pulsation is too much. Clock me out. I need a release. I'm backed up. Bothered by thoughts. By a desires to do as I please. By golly hrs feel like days. When it'll only take me a few minutes to explode. With long slow strokes to calm my nerves. To ease the tension. To soften my girth. I have anyone but me so free up my time. I'm damn near on the edge. Daydreaming of a rug n a pull. Standing with one hand on the wall. Head cocked back. Grunting. Letting go of reality as I think dirty little thoughts. Until I... Yeah!!! Fuck yeah...

As mine...

As I bury my cock deep inside of you. Finding your hormones moaning to thrusts put to use. Cum on me. Simply put. I wanna feel your pussy pulsate whole I feel your wrapped around my girth. At will, gush. Go hard as I feel every ripple stroke my shaft. All the way down to my balls bouncing off your azz. Get it. Make me feel like a man capturing your crave. Loosening you up until you explode saying my name. With your hair in my left hand n n left it in the other. Testing you nipple n squeezing your flesh as a luv'r. Just listen to our thighs slap as we do us the way we do. As I did beneath the surface to open the gates as we move. I'm n out n in n out n in I keep going hard ASF. Turning a moment of lusts into a night o go luv. Getting closer than fibrosis l fingertips can swirl on your clit. Take me as I take you as we suck a kiss. Feeling twirling tongues going wild with excitement. Groping the body fill of incitement. Like an intoxication flowing with the thrill of orgasms panting a sighs. I was fuck you like I wanna keep you in my life.

I'm not giving in so easily...

Don't cry. Not for me. I was born to live alone. Please don't take pity. N never turn around. Better you can do. I'm just a conversation at best. A loner afraid to make a move. You'll forget me soon enough. Discriminating me in unfamiliar words. All bcuz I cannot feel luv'd. I don't believe in the concept. I don't mean act harm.  I'm just in you way this I know. Complicating the heart. But it's not my true intent. I wish I could trust. N didn't think of hope as a desperation. I tell no lies. Speak only of the facts. N it's ok for you to walk away. Just don't do it so fast. I may not know what I have in you. But you don't havta wait. I'm the lingering one.  Not once teaching for a use. I'm just in my own lane. Trying to find a real friend. N no emotions don't intrigue me. The rush of them is a sure end. So live your life. Go settle down n find your home. I'm nothing to miss. Don't worry, I won't answer the phone. I don't communicate on a daily with anyone. I'm part the point of giving a fuck. Feelings just don't interest me. They pull n they tug. Confusing the thought process of genuine relations. I may need misunderstood. N not many can understand my frustrations. I'm incapable of opening up too soon. So suggest you seek out another source to feed your depths. I won't be mad if that's what you decide. We all have a life to live n I can relate bcuz it's something I once felt. It just doesn't make much sense to me anymore. N to be honest my heart isn't free. My chest is a time capsule waiting. Patiently positive that it'll loosen to the feel of something more than a dream. So don't regret leaving me in your past. I cannot fulfill the urgency to compromise with desires. Not for a quick fix. N never again to be burned by the flaming fire. Sorrow for me isn't a necessity. N maybe I will die in the middle of overthinking shit. But it's ok. I don't make luv outta fun nor meaningless generosity. So you see, I'm a little different that what it is you think you want. N I'm fine with you admitting it as you go on about your way. I'm here all by myself any other day. N there will be no difference in tomorrow when it comes up to play...

Come my way...

Come on over n snuggle up. I know it's mid day but it's cold out n I wanna warm ur hush. We can get close n feel each other out. Find common grounds n ease back into the lack of sound. As soft whispers communicate in every breath. I bet you'd enjoy the way I'd come from the chest. Pulsating with heartbeats placed upon your back. As you're wrapped up in my arms grasp. Calming you as you're tucked gentle into my palms. Fingertips following across your skin. Just to know how the corners of your mouth create a grin. Come through n relax with me. Maybe watch a movie n set ourselves free. I'm open to whatever may take occur. I just want it to be you bcuz there's no one else is rather defer. Reason with your heart n mind your life. We could be something great in moments defined. Pressed against each other when the world doesn't seem to exist. Just you n I tasting the pleasure upon the lips. Hand in hand gripping the soothe. Feeling every body part twist n move. Swing by n see what we can get into. For a little while we can call a truce...

Emptied out...

The excitement isn't efficient. N when it is lifestyles aren't equivalent. When it's a fit one seeks to need the lasting to remain. When there's a few good ones that'll help emotion escape. N yet situations just haven't that alignment for the heart. As the thought process put in place guidelines so desires can find a spark. The thrill is gone. That eagerness to crave another as time goes on. Witness to those who would mingle every so nicely. But there's a resistance due to certain attributes that aren't timed precisely. Others aren't on the same level mentally n it's a shame. Bcuz if they were the imagination would engine then into the flame. As eyes are opened to see what's free from prior burdens as they linger in life. Willing to adjust with an open mind. Factors are the issue when waiting on a friend to come along. If there not considered relations eventually go wrong. As red flags are triggers to the ugly side of self. So to have patience is truly what's felt. Securing what bad things hurt the most. As tongues flip viciously in a chance to laugh at the roast. The lesson has taken it's toll on how to approach luv. N like is the key to enjoying such. Although many would fill in n live happily ever after. It's just there's more to a good time when lost in the laughter. Will they protect the friendship at any cost? Are they able to check self from lashing out when smiles come to pause? Shits deeper than the flesh that's deceiving in its own. As the anticipation is weakening from the display of others shown. They seem not to be looking in the mirror so they know they're the real deal. To think of who self is so they're worth the feel. The enthusiasm just isn't there where looking from a far. The type that awakens me isn't anywhere healed with scars. Whether they're taken by someone else or distant from the fingertips. I'm so long I haven't felt a comforting set of lips. The passion isn't in it when I do try. There's always something that jumps out as I become the bad guy...

Fresh outta scrabbled letters...

There's nothing left to say. Words aren't flowing today. I hate it when I'm at a loss. But then again that's jus my brain giving me time to hush the cause. I guess it too gets tired of all the resistance. As each n every thought feeds the heart without hesitance. N no I don't wanna talk about it. I'm just bored with life n struggle to live. N if there was something clever to say I'd come clean. Unfortunately I'm just wasting time with black expressions not trying to think. I'm just a case of being prior to closing my eyes. A mute without a memory of life. N I can't find anything worth telling. But if I could I'd find a buyer n begin the selling. Maybe raffle myself off so my lips would move. I believe I've ran outta ways to express my dying use. N now there's just a once was unwilling to partake in the back n forth. As sound is dismissed in the presence of vocal chords. Nothing is all there is coming from the mouth. N how I got here I don't know how. I'm speechless but I like. For once I'm at peace with what I cannot hide. Free in a sense if that's what I am. Content in the silence in my head that let loose on this man. N I move differently with a thought process that is ever so clear. Hushing the noise that reaches for lips tasting tears. I'm weightless in my present state. No longer fighting the confusion of the triangle of games. Sex can go fuck itself getting the need to the floor. Emotional torture I haven't a use for. N I've regained the stability upstairs after all. Things now make sense once I completed the fall. Landing in a situation on needs over wants. Smoothly easing my way along into I someday meet luv...

To be damned...

To live again. Damn. To feel alive. From behind the rhymes. To feel. Softening a heart said to be of steel. To put self to use. Using truths. Gaining a respect. Becoming friends from not than the chest. As the mind calms the fuck down. To be finally found. To come from within. To live. To reclaim emotions proof. Living loose. Allowing inner makings to be seen. To breathe. To drift away from the solitude. To simply call a truce. Damn. To be more than this type man. To sink into a touch. To obtain real luv. To cross back over. To hold a her. To spark the fire that went out. There's gotta be more than the silence of sound. To pull me closer to life. With a surge that doesn't sorry circuit the mind. So thinking isn't pure emotion running wild. Ooh the wonder of such a style. To settle into the thrill. To have free will. Moving in sync with another that co exists. To set aside the shovel that digs. To return from where I had to go. To evolve as me without burying the bone. Damn. To go at it again. To just be. To escape daydreams. Leaving the lessons learned alone. To go the fuck home. To my final place in time. Resting with a mate all night. To enjoy moments lived. To once n for all whisper softly of what I have to give.

The answer...

One. To give a reason of why. Opened up. Defining a stare in the eyes. To have a friend moving with purpose. Having meaning. Someone not so heartless. Not demeaning. Just once. So the heart can thrive. Falling into luv. Somewhere where it's not behind enemy lines. For a face to create a comfort. Sharing expressions. With hands on a nice rumper. Enjoying the bodies dimensions. Feeling the rush. Giving unconditionally to worth. Lasting beyond dreams never hushed. As they stay to be the first. To have a partner to do things with. Everyone to be precise. Tasting on softened lips. Even becoming a better version of sighs. Going from single to willing to mingle. In a different sense of mindsets at ease. Allowing the sensation of the tingle. Actually being able to fuckin breathe. Just to be on the same level n rising. Putting to rest all question of hope. With a truth residing. Never again to be alone. Loosening up to a touch like no other. Feeling the vibe pulsating through the skin. Alive n in motion with a luv'r. Awakening every morning to that familiar kiss...

Time down...

Chasing life will alter the feel of actually living it. Money will steal the heart n leave it alone as time ticks. Then walls close in on the mind confusing the focus. As dealing with the choices made to survive resemble a tad bit hopeless. In a solo act in the middle of life not knowing where home is. Even though there's a roof above there's still no true worth in the ribs. Missing is the unknown version of self when hiding is a thing. Removing all attachments from reach to ease back n away from the scene. So far gone behind locked doors just trying to evolve. Wanting to be appealing in the aftermath of the details solved. All in the same of slipping into a void to remain safe. But hey, who's to blame for all the little mistakes? So why not stabilize in solitude n wait it out? Yet for how long is desires that's been patient to gather what's to be found. Without another sharing space in memories that create a story lived. N that's the kicker of the situation that has forgotten the pleasure of touch through a kiss. All in the makings of digging into a better way. To redefine the comfort from within before ever giving in to a different type of gain. Tucked beneath a front that allows others to believe whatever they want. Telling them all the single life is better by saying fuck luv! But the lie is merely a fib for so long. As the truth trickles through the skin n moves expressions that correct everything that's ever gone wrong. Just to bounce back with an overload that can't wait to get at it again. Although it's costly to think of years spent unaccompanied by a friend hand in hand...

The feeling...

Less than equivalent. More than nothing at all. Somewhere in the middle of life. Trying to stand after the fall. Self is nothing but another face. Years pass into a faded fog. Lost becomes a feeling of comfort. Stagnant settles into a pause. Attempting to define shits within. Talking to the walls. Distant n alone no answer is known. Trapped within the flaws. There's nothing to believe in. No one left to call. Not a single person to confide. Drifting with the feeling of a world not so small. Emotions forgotten n away with the toss. Mirrors aging n afraid to interact. Witness to the truths so raw. Emptied as a person find ever be. Passion is just another thing to gawk. Useless is the inner feeling. Irrelevant to cause. Misplaced n confused missing the point. Unable to remember the feeling of the face placed in a palm. Lower the heart sinks below the surface. Deeper than the eyes will ever talk. Hollow n numb nerves are immune. Breaking out the sidewalk chalk. Damn near dead but still alive. Hanging on to an endless dull. Distant without a reason to crud back over. Hope is gone. The end had come to pass. Every day is just another sideshow that'll never aw. There's isn't much to who used to be. Life changed n the dream broke it's claws. No longer able to cling to the climbinh from from the false. As the enclosure surrounds the pieces  in the smog. Feeling as a thought to others. Beneath the burial of unwanted applause. There sits a loner shaking the head. Moving differently just because. Lacking a purpose in a reality that lives without lies. The solo artist that gave up on being soft...

Free will...

Coming back for seconds. N the enjoyment is what I'll never fail to mention. It says so much when convo isn't the only thing on the menu. Notice intent when words pause to feel the mood. Oh the venture of free will coming up for air. Truth is, boundaries aren't easy to cross when life usually doesn't play fair. N to see it in someone's eyes speaks without mentions. There's just a certain type of ease that breaks through the dimension. N then three n four times the return finds comfort laying still. Wrapped up in the moment of free will. Feeling closer every single second spent with a friend. Again n again. Becoming a norm that fits movements ever so relaxed. Trying to settle in so the world doesn't move so fast. As the wake up one day  realizes luv was in the making the all the while. Living in the stretch of breathtaking smiles. All bcuz two people meet to find a common ground. A stability in the reoccurrence so magical eyes whisper without sound...

Dreamt thoughts...

I get to daydreaming about how you can't keep your hands off of me. Looking at me like I'm the only one who reaches in n touches how u breathe. Stroking sighs to react on such a way u feel weak. Creative u have the strength to see it through bcuz ur free. I drift on the thought of you unable to get enough of who I am. Willing to give every detail of yourself to my hands. Peeking into my eyes as if they're the sunset giving u life. As u lean in to live to exist on the outside of ur mind. My daydreams have me rotating with the scenery of u n I intertwined. But I don't know why it's me you crave. I'm just happy to be in your graces to misbehave. To live a lil better it's forget too fuckin late. I dream in the middle of the day of how you say my name. I feel the purpose reaching for me every time we touch. N for once I believe I am taking back in luv...

Odd man out...

I jus am for I don't know how else to be. Living is a thing I do when I escape my dreams. I'm nothing special to the naked eye that eventually looks away. As I truly don't wanna be recognized as a name. Different I am in ways that most don't understand. Complicating relations on the matter of not having a number one fan. Stubborn is what I'm called when there's things I refuse to accept in my life. I believe that ones own defines the character wanting more than a hype. Loose I live to the indescribable crave to open up. Yet the conflict of connectivity always sides with eyes that have been hushed. Deeper I go into depths but I don't want another to friend within me. Emotions do to much n lose the whole sense of self wanting to breathe. I'm no one to anyone bcuz I know it'll take for me to come out n play. I just can't say much on it for chameleons pretending to be fate. My thoughts are heavy and my pulse is weak n faint. As there's more to a woman than exploiting her in between the sheets. So I drift as a loner longing to find a home. I'm no stray but I am lost without the desperation of hope. As in the real world I can relate to the facts as they come. But in my dreams I'm free to luv without the tsunami raping my shores of the beauty I cannot remember when I awaken as such. N even though I'm a lil of a bit of a mystery I'm confused on how others aren't capable to adapt to what life has to offer. As relations aren't what they seem to be into so it's an ease for me to not have a need to walk down the alter. Although I am a human that smiles bcuz I am alive. Even though I'm the first one to waste huge portions of my time. Digging into my downtime I simply want a friend that'll never leave. But it ain't so easy when I am the me they seek. Guarded n alert as I will figure them out. As it could even be situational as that deciphers the coming n going beneath the clouds. Special I could never be for I'm too humble to me arrogant. N fit the life of me I don't know which way the old me went...

The way you insist...

It sounds so good when you're coming on to me. But lil do you know I'll have you on your knees. With my cock in your mouth n then to your twat. I'll even fuck you in the azz as you're begging me to stop. So if you know what's best you'll leave me the fuck alone. Bcuz I ain't got time unless I'm coming in your holes. With a big ol dick to make you moan a lil tune. Talk dirty to me n I'll eventually watch your body move. Grinding as you moan with my tongue between your legs. Just to flip you over until you beg. Not once, not twice, not even a third as you don't want me to stop. Telling me your fantasies is the sound I crave as you climb atop. You say things that speak to my curiosities. As thoughts take form in the shape of you exploring my generosities. To please the words upon your tongue. Rolling over on you to slow down the motions rushed. You best not mimic a thrill by leading me on. I'm not what you think as I'll play from dusk till dawn. Have you sore ASF waiting for your hormones to bounce back. But if you learn the hard way, press the facts. I like how you nibble on my name. N honestly I wanna change the revisions upon your face. As you bite that pretty lil lip. With my fingertips digging into your hips. Moan for me n say not one thing else. Feel the way I am to be felt. Naturally exploiting your inner most desires on the run. Keep on babbling at the gums n imma have dinner fun...

Inward tug...

Backtracking, I'm fading back down that fuckin hole again. Seems I can get so far n then... Into reverse mode I collapse thinking too much. Into the downward spiral I cannot escape I fall away from even lusts. Oh the feeling of the desperation of hope that doesn't exist. I wish I believed in something other than the darkness deep in my very own pits. But yet to descend without a lifeline is what has always been. As the comfort of selfs embrace never lies, but then again. It pretends to be a friend although there's no convo in the silence. Just an echo in my head that gets lost from time to time when I tuck away the difference. Hiding from the knowing of others that I fall apart. Feeling the grasp of the one true thing that comforts the heart. N it's easy to bury the insanity behind the eyes. Countering observant stares everytime someone tells me smiles as if it isn't a lie. Forced upon the face to shield the drifting within. Pulled into the suction of the core that always wins. Wasting time n waiting on tomorrow to come. Maybe it'll be a lil better if with my mind I didn't run...

Going home...

Missing the getting of going home. After a hard day's work. To see that one face that makes a difference. Getting them in a hug with so much worth. There's a void in what life has become. A standby of emotions idling n offset. The thought of going home is an empty sigh. Especially when there's more unused comment buried in the chest. Waiting to open that door to witness a friend. N yet there's a misplacement no matter where I go. Without an answer the question reveals no regards. I jus want that feeling others have of going home. To be someone's they don't wanna attempt life without me. The way I'd return everyday to lay my eyes upon their gaze. Bridging a connection from the heart to the mind. N if they ain't home yet, I'll wait...

Only with you...

There's so many thing that I wanna do. But I don't wanna do any of them if I cannot do them with you. So I sit n wait hoping you don't pass me by. As I'm outta reach of others trying to enjoy moments of my time. Outta sight is prolly where I need not to be. If I wanna do these things I'll prolly havta to be seen. So life can be felt doing everything I've never done. Side by side with you having fun. But I'm afraid to do any of it without you here with me. N I don't know if you're even looking to set yourself free. To enjoy a friend in your time of making it happen. As dreams come true in the makings of laughing. But you're the only one I'd open up all the fuckin thoughts to. To share where I'd wanna be alone with you. Getting lost somewhere in the memory holding on later in life. Recalling all the silly lil things we ran if to that are cherished in the mind. If this you can understand, come out n play. I'm willing n free to show myself to your chuckles day after day. Wandering around the world like we can't get enough. N in every place we drift off to, we make luv. In sync with the thrill of who we are together. Moving our feet to the feeling of riding a shooting star straight past forever. Open to concur the details that make us, us. Waking up to fall asleep every night in luv...

Free will...

You can go if that's what you wanna do. I won't fight your decision to believe you can do better. Nor will I ever play the game to see if I'll try n stop you before you go. What I'm doin has nothing to do with becoming the great pretender. I'll respect your wishes to be left completely alone. We all have the right to find where it is we feel wet belong. N I too one day wanna sink into the findings of home. So please choose in which direction your heart is too follow the beat of a specific song. As a face id indentured as the only one that could ever loosen you up. I'm not in your way n don't wanna be a hiccup in the road. Hey to where your going n I'll applaud you as you fall in luv. I believe in happiness n the makings of trust so passion no longer roams. If I'm not the friend you seek you're free to do so you please. The save way you've been to with our without me in you life. I'm just here attempting the possibility of wants n needs. As me as self with a rare n unusual mind. Backing your every option to fulfill whatever it is you resolve within. Bcuz I know the feeling of lost all too well. So smile for it's ok if our thoughts aren't sharing the same type of grin. Just do it before I drift into the linger of your desires felt. It wouldn't be easy if you crave another n I was left in a memory. But I'd understand even though I wouldn't wanna see you turn away. Never to be seen again by eyes that find you complimentary. Familiar or a stranger is the choosing day by day. With thoughts changing as we grow into who we are to become. Care just enough song the way to reason with a use of free will. As promises cannot be made for we do not know what is to come. Just be clear on intent surfacing in the here n now for me to witness the thrill...

Until...

You're just passing through n it's cool. Here for a bit n them removed. You're not meant to stay long n I can't say that's wrong. But ain't it just another day song. Sharing a lil of your time to ease my mind. N eventually you're gonna be home for life. Damn the thought of getting to know you comeS with a cost. N until then imma live in this pause. 

Enjoying you like there's no tomorrow.

Avoiding the emptiness of the sorrow.

Pretending the stories will never end.

In luv with my perfect friend.

Only if you knew how hard it is for my to let down my guard. It's torcher knowing imma lose everything shit you but the pieces left in my heart. You're not the type that think of me as the answer to your hype. I'm just waiting my turn for the day you say goodbye. One season attached a time like a session soon to be up but I won't cry. Simply put, you're not mine.

So I'll do what I can until the coming of tomorrow.

Bringing in the linger of you to the feeling of sorrow.

I'll pretend that you're my friend.

One that'll last until the end...

Simply put...

What I can do by self. Somehow doesn't mimic what I've been able to do with another by my side. I do better. I stand stronger. I feel it to be fucked up beyond measures of reason. But this is life. Fuck being fair. Just make it happen. Even if the solo act is a bit too much. Stand in the mirror n live as the turn away is laughing. With a way to take care of the inner makings.  With grunts one the side. Knowing worth is more than the single life. But it's okay when the ends are met time after time. Oh the heart doesn't wanna listen to reason. It can't hear. It can only feel. N it's the truest thing to what is real. Reminding the mind of a settling fact. The body needs to be touched. Felt like fingertips that crave to wander upon someone else. Breaking down in the presence of luv. To bare the hidden details no one knows. In an act on wants n needs. Going to waste without the thrill. Only if I could do what I do with another doing what they do to simply breathe...

The next level...

One time. To never turn back. For a willing desire to live on. With luv intact. The dream. Opening a piece of self. For trust to hold. Simply felt. Considered by another. Enjoyed by a smile. Loosening up with life for once. Until the end of ends with style. Just once. To feel depths come to life. Confirmed n complete. Comforted by sighs. In the moment n living. In true form. Moving to the thrill. Wanting jus one thing, a norm. A fair chance to shine. To be as is. With more than hope. Lost in the twist of a kiss. All that's needed is a friend. A partner knowing what they have. Someone who's leveled up. To go in on halves. Damn it would be nice. To outlive what's come to be known. To cross back over. Shedding the feeling of being alone. Expressing true intent. Gradually giving all. Redefining belief. Staring into the eyes that come to a pause. Looking back with a common interest. Smirking just bcuz. The thought is there. N it drives me nuts...

To be taken...

I had to test her. I need to know. It was the look have me. I wanted to get her moan. So with one hand I reached for her. N she didn't move. She just did there waiting. N I took my time to work hey loose. Playing with her crave. Tempting her to give in. With a chuckle her eyes dared me. N all she did was lift her chin. As my fingers wrapped get throat. Feeling the warmth of her neck. The pulse racing to my palm. She grinned to accept. My jaw dropped. I squeezed. Her truths sighed. N then the stare changed the way we breathed. It was slow at first. Both surging from within.  Having found a new common worth. She submitted. I began to give her something to trust. As I could feel her coming to life. N my grasp she leaned in to be hushed. To be taken. To come from within the passion of her fantasies. Knowing it was I she had awakened. To play with every inch of her body. She stood still. Groped n fondled in ways my touch completed her. She was good. As my fingertips flowed with her curves. Growing the flesh. Slapping her azz. I'm total fuckin control. She gave me herself as I didn't even ask. It was natural. Real. Something that cannot be explained. It was something we both could feel. As she was spun around n bent over the bed. Back arched. Legs spread. She was a with of art. In sync with my desires to please her at will. In any which way I chose to take her. Her skin was silk. Sighs were like whispers without words. That's when I instructed her to open her mouth. As I climbed up in front of her perfectly hung. With a shh, just suck. She began to speak to me in tongue. No hands. All skill. She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. My kinda thrill. Mine all mine. As I was her very own Dom. But I wasn't done. I needed to hear her explode like a bursting bomb. As I pulled her hair back n kissed her face. Letting her know I was in charge. As we locked eye to eye. I could see it in her that she didn't expect me to be so large. N I told her I was going to penetrate her until she came. N I want gonna stop until her knees gave in. So from behind her I slide deep within her walls. N the sound of pure innocence made me grin. With one movent she was taken from the rear. Oh she was tight. Motionless n taking every inch. As I fit inside of her oh so nice. Grabbing her hips. Thrusting like animal fucking for the first time. She took it until the shook in her stance. As I pulled out n forced her down in front myself to swallow mine. N with everything in me I twitched. As she sucked. As I came. I believe it was I that got mind fucked...

Ever changing...

What can't be seen behind a smile rests the emptiness hidden in the eyes. Within the design is the details of life taking it's toll on the mind. With muted words never to touch the lips nor gasp in a sigh waiting on a luv'r. What lies beneath the surface is a depth dug to bury one friend after another. In turn as in order from start to finish. As feelings drift in thoughts remembering the undertow of emotions that were made to feel squeamish. What sits just outta view from the knowing. Others need not point at the entanglements defining the overthrowing. For inner content to lay in the shadow only to move like a puppet. To mimic a facial gesture as if a half hearted grin placed upon a muppet. Telling tales of the good put in front of the world to be displayed. As the changing of the stare has no need in anymore games...

Able to chuckle...

Memories have faces that tug on expression when the mind drifts. Visions of prior moments that linger periodically that once tasted the lips. To remember in the down time is a reflection of self evolving in this world that had no remorse. Luv'rs come n go n others last a lil longer to to split always looking for something more. As being alone sits on the mind heavily in a wondering state of, wtf? Looking through the images that never made it into the now hushed. Another upside down shot glass triggers the heart to reminisce. Able to chuckle bcuz good times live in a better place buried in every kiss. Triggering the smile in full acceptance to lift at the edges like horns that never die. Knowing the chaos cannot touch sacred leftovers that have molded truths. N then it's back to reality to continue the journey bcuz ones own still has a use. To be luv'd in due time when the fit wraps emotions in arms. For lessons learned show the maturity grown deep in the stake scared heart. Fit the meeting it out alive has been one crazy azz ride. All with whispering silent childish forever meant goodbyes. For what's good for fit self is what remains every single day. Not in the head trapped n locked away from how pain wasn't meant to wear chains...

When one knows...

Once a person has found n has been forced to let go of someone they could've luv'd forever. They know what it is their heart desires most as anything less is simply a never ever. For the level of happiness that uplifted them is in the way of a sacred bond. A presence that entices will to play with the feel of emotion's sweet spot. It's the linger of a smile n the truth of how the connection is more than a physical attraction. It's the depths of a pure satisfaction. A one in the same type of honesty that lives without trying. With a the rare sensitivity that gives a sensation of fulfillment that becomes defying. It's not a face that claims their place side by side. It's the person within that comes out to be seen in the middle of life. Someone so perfect in imperfections that fits without hesitations. Creating a sigh that lasts in acceptance that opens up the mind guiding memories into their final destination. N there's very few that can cause a surge that triggers the terrible in the eyes. Anything less is nothing more than a moment to pass until a spark ignites the unconditional vibe...

The calm...

Exciting to no one. Fading behind the scenes. Lock doors won't come unhinged. Lost in the confinement of dreams. Thoughts drift in the dark. Unseen is the face. Whereabouts are unknown. Stupid hides in the escape. Into the peace n quiet. Time being the enemy ticking away. Alone n safe from the chaos. Playing not one single game. The calm creates a reason. The silence drives one mad. Listening to the heart pulsate with a pound. Facing the lonely facts. Having not another close enough to touch. To feel the comfort supposedly trusted. Emotion waits on luv. Patience stretch to limits exposed. Purposely avoiding a friend to be made. Attachments linger in choices not so sure. Believing the burn comes from the flame. Not to be found anytime soon. Eyes glance at best. Afraid to make contact with a stranger. Unaware what is contained in their chest. Moving solo is the flow in life. Settled in to the ease redefined. Evading the thrill of lusts reaching in. Letting thoughts clear in the mind. As desires twist into a funk. Frustrated by the lack of trust. The bed seems far to big to be enjoyed. But it's so much better than faking n crushed...

At some point...

I don't wanna see you cry. But damn you if at some point you don't look at me with tears in your eyes. As the luv leaks down your cheek. So overwhelmed in thought just looking at me. Feeling the emotion rush to the surface. As your tongue wiggles in your mouth to sit up my name. With a stare of recognition pausing your expressions. Felt in a better sense of an obsession. Living in the moment of the crave. Able to admit to self life without me just wouldn't be the same. As the heart opens up n it flows uncontrollably. Witness to me luv'n you respectfully. Feeling my thumb wipe away drips away. With a reassurance of I'm here to stay. Bcuz I could only hope I can get that far into you. with a kiss to your fists as you lean in to me calming you woos. Holding you until you come back from that place you just went. At some point of like to know if it's me in which you can vent. Free to release truths that shouldn't be held in. As you didn't chuckle with a grin. Knowing you're such a girl just for me. At some point I wanna live the dream...

It's you...

I wanna touch you. Play with you. Feel you. I wanna taste you. Caress you. Tease you. Fuck you. I wanna release you. Lick you. Eat you. I wanna explore you. Enjoy you. Devour you. I wanna fall into you. Take you. Own you. I wanna be with you. Roll you. Toss you. I wanna embrace you. Hold you. Claw you. I wanna impress you. Win you. Earn you. I wanna rely on you. Believe you. Have you. I wanna escape with you. Lay with you. Cum with you. I wanna crawl on you. Kiss you.  Reason with you. I wanna reach for you. Please you. Free you. I wanna explode with you. Fulfill you luv you...

Fuck fb...

No compliments. Can't oppose interest. Laughs sound off. Fuck the internet. Fake images. Lost in posts. Self righteousness. To no one they host. Suck on self. Ugly through n through. Quietly begging for help. Turning a cheek if lips move. Games out in the open. Claiming other. There is no luv'n. Nor a real luv'r. False presence. Pretending to be different. But oh the hesitance. Everyone just wants to vent. Belittling others that caused then pain. It's a force of habit. Forged intent to save face. Social media is laughing. But can't stand the finger to point back. I'm the greatest getaway of all time. Anyone can be whatever with a phone in their grasp. Slowly losing their minds. Reality no longer exists. The digital world changed it all. No one cares to taste lips. It's just the self indigence that hides the flaws. Tucked into cyber hell. Misleading to gain attention. The ramble at if no one else can be felt. It's all me me me right inspection. Opinionated to the bone. Irritated with life. Is this what humanity had become? Losing valuable time. Caught up in another dimension. Fading from use. Looking for a laugh when chuckles are mentioned. N yet absent from giving proof. For the flesh had forgotten touch. There's just words n no actions hoping never to be exposed. There's no such thing as luv. Just a side step as everyone is alone.

Assert your mutters...

To watch your lips shape the words. Tell me. Whisper of you must. Say it with a desire that crawls through you like you need me. Speak of lusts. Of the Hunger that consumes you. I wanna hear it. As you bite your lip as your mouth moves. Taste each letter nibbled from your tongue. Feed to my thrill to grasp your motives coming out. I wanna be the one you wanna fuck. So be honest with content loosening up n spoken out loud. Suggest your claim in me. State your case. Let the feeling fly my way. As your breath lands upon my face. Let your thoughts come out to play. Allowing your eyes to make me believe in you. How bad do you want it? Express how you want me to put you to use. Words can never lie if you passion fuels hormones on the rise. Declare your deepest crave. N moan a moment as I slide inside...

Losing control...

I wanna tell you I love you. I feel it crawling within me every single day. As your presence is the key to putting emotions to use. Alive I've awakened just looking at you face. I wanna say how I truly feel. So out loud you can hear me come to life. As your name is tasted in a tone so real. Damn, you ready my mind. Settle the anxiety of fighting of this world alone. You're the difference n I know your can set it in my eyes. I believe you too be home. N to you I would never lie. I wanna whisper sighs in your ear. Pull you close n lose track of time. You free me as I have no fear. But since you ain't here, maybe I'll just drift in life...

I'm you in ways...

Maybe I'm not ok. It could be possible I feel just like you. Hiding behind chuckles stretching the face. Who knew. But how could you. I turn a cheek to cry. Tears aren't meant to be seen in the move. N there's times I simple feel like I'm waiting to die. So alone n far from comprehension I bet you feel you don't fit in. But what if you knew I struggle too? When all I really wanna do is live. To fuckin call a truce. Is it me or would a friend be nice? To settle the downward plunge within that sucks me under. But I don't know how to stop the fight. Standing solo n distant from luv'rs. Whoa, that might be a Lil too much. But fuck it right? We only live once. N then we're eventually captured by the urn or the pine. To waste even more away with time. I'm total solitude at if we're not living in it in the now. Making it look good when to be felt would ease the mind. Is it cool if I steal the words hung up in your mouth? As the truth reveals we ain't so different after all. I'm constant wonder of a better way. Before we sit to long n rot being silenced walls...

No?

Can I? No? Ok. I won't ask again. Damn the battle of being taken seriously. Lost as if there's nowhere to call home. Yeah the feeling sucks. Only if I could come across one. Maybe I'd have a reason to open up. N yet, those I cling to shun me out their life. N others I jus cannot connect with. Hey! No? Alrighty then. Why try? I get it. I'm just a face in the crowd. Someone who's too far gone. I'll just leave them be. Live as a loner. Go without every being truly felt. Nah, I don't want sex. I know you don't believe me. In your mind I'm a player. Hiding behind the front laced in my eyes. Oh, how wrong the thoughts of me. So I'll just make you laugh. Sit back n gather the silence. N wait. Bcuz what's the point? Everyone wants the typical bs with the same fuckin results. Danger I'm the stranger. The psst in the wind. Quiet bcuz not everyone needs to know my situation. But that too you is some sneaky shit. Although if just live to get to know someone before the worried interferes. Seems that's too much to ask. Though I'm said to prolly have more than a few. Ain't that a bitch. Labeled due to looks. For I have shit on the up n up. Or is it they can't relate to leveling up? Fuck. I'm willing to urge success. To grow together n find higher grounds. Aye yo! No? It's what it is. I'm just an azz that speaks up. Scaring off the weak. Realizing not many have truly found themselves. Why did everyone havta be living through someone else? How could they ever be a real friend? It's cool. But. Um. No? Ain't nothing new to me. I'm a freak that just wants to fuck. Believe what you want. Describe everyone with the same tone. N put me at the end of your curiosities. That is if I'm even considered.  More than likely that's a prolly not. Im to different to fit in to the crazy you pretend to be. You need another that feeds your ego huh? The bows, bends n breaks to stay. Maybe that's why you sidestep me. I'm your head I'm an issue that complicates your own games. Are you afraid you won't get your way? That someone like me will challenge you with reason. Are you not ready to toe the line to see what you're really about? Half stepper you just may be. It is it you think I'm above others? If just live to talk. No? Fine, I'll leave you be. Go play the role of emotions that end to fast. Other me. I can take a hint. I'm no one to you. A threat if anything if I must tell it like it is. Then again, I must not be what reciprocation wants. Am I off the walk to you likings? Would you like to chill n figure out who's who? No? Ok, I had to attempt to show you I like you one last time...