"finally"...

Good days, bad days. And then there's those in between. I can't seem to tell them apart anymore. I'm losing focus in this dream.

Tell me I'm crazy. Anything but lost. Wake me up. My reality is a fictional flaw.

Life is an absent wasteland. My heart is coming undone. I cannot relate to emotion. I just wanna go home.

But there's no such place that I know of. No feeling but the me, myself and I. I've gone and crossed over without memories made. I'm alone in my mind.

I'm back to the basics. As all I can whisper along to music in the dark is, "finally". But I don't know how feel alive. Smiles tremble in fear bcuz I'm a just me.

Hiding passions more than worth the cause. Fighting the drips of tears. Good night's, sleepless depths. What have I become through the years?

I cannot remember how to let someone in. The confusion has condemned me to the silence sighing. But I can hear my heartbeat pulsate like It has so much more to give. I wish I were lying.

I've trapped myself within. As craves are crawling through my chest. Pounding and begging to be released. As I lay the thought to rest.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. There's a mental blockage refusing use even though. My skin is numb. Without nerves to go sensitive with luv.

Fingers aren't felt when applied in a stroke. Nor do fingerprints comprehend the sensation in a caress. I'm damned by all means to a lifetime in chains. Disabled and outta sync is thy will to invest.

Distant to any other attempting to dig in to me. As even sexual thrills are pointless n cheap. Motionless in the inner makings that have been emptied n freed. But I'm back to square one, "finally".

Back to a blank slate where I to can figure out what's to gain. With no weight carried on. I'm who I used to be before I ever stumbled upon hope. Prior to the heart on the sleeve that was worn.

Good times. Bad times. I don't care to think. There's nothing in my head but me resisting the pleasures desired. And honestly, all I wanna fuckin do is breathe...