Backtracking, I'm fading back down that fuckin hole again. Seems I can get so far n then... Into reverse mode I collapse thinking too much. Into the downward spiral I cannot escape I fall away from even lusts. Oh the feeling of the desperation of hope that doesn't exist. I wish I believed in something other than the darkness deep in my very own pits. But yet to descend without a lifeline is what has always been. As the comfort of selfs embrace never lies, but then again. It pretends to be a friend although there's no convo in the silence. Just an echo in my head that gets lost from time to time when I tuck away the difference. Hiding from the knowing of others that I fall apart. Feeling the grasp of the one true thing that comforts the heart. N it's easy to bury the insanity behind the eyes. Countering observant stares everytime someone tells me smiles as if it isn't a lie. Forced upon the face to shield the drifting within. Pulled into the suction of the core that always wins. Wasting time n waiting on tomorrow to come. Maybe it'll be a lil better if with my mind I didn't run...
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