Unfulfilled...

 I tried to have a normal life but it never panned out for me as plan b was a side step to reality. Now the linger is a smile of cheer spread trying to remember how to find that spark tucked away in childish dreams. Waiting on a set of hands to leave their mark on thy heart n give it a reason to allow a need. Charm n humor seems to be alternative to use of another who's more than just a freak. I can say the mind itself had gotten tired of the luv'rs comin n goin pretending to a be a friend to me. As belief slipped from harsh lips that hushed the inner voice wanting to scream. N it's the emotion that's been contained for yrs as it transformed from hardened stone into a masterpiece no one is allowed to see... Yeah i attempted the house filled with luv with no intent to harm n that's no lie. It just wasn't in the cards as now there's too many fuckin alarms in which behind them self hides. Throwing noise into the wind as a defense to say I'm too far gone for anyone to catch me in their eyes. Though beneath the chuckles n tart words is the unspoken defines of an unfulfilled life. Truths from beneath the tongue has been chewed from the start of the transformation awaiting its return to the scene, free to fly. Scrapping off the char to adapt n advance so self is better prepaired to know when it's ok to remove the bars for four letters of like. As scars no longer exist from prior lessons that have barked at a moon proving to me patiences is soooo much better than a momentary hype.