i know what i'm worth. so why do i have this feeling like i'm never enough. with a cling latched on to everything about me except my voice box. it's like my vocal chords cannot speak the truth even though i claim to live outside the box. when i have a lil secret trapped within that cannot escape. it's as if it refuses to step out on to the tongue so it can accept its fate. as i could really go for someone punching me in my mouth to create a swollen lip so i i don't feel so fuckin numb. the truth about me is, i don't believe i'll ever amount to anything other than a has been. even with all the confidence i have there's a reason i stay in my lane n don't go seeking new friends. all bcuz i have something inside of me pointing fingers at the me in the mirror. n honestly i'm ok with me, it's others that i cannot help but to fear. i just get tired of falling short in their eyes, u know? the hope seems gone to wanna build a life with what is only imagined as a home. n i've corrected everything i could think of to become a better me. there's just this one itty bitty lil mutha fuckin thing that won't set me free. i don't believe anyone is gonna want me past the hype of digging in. it's as if they through dirt over the shoulder from the shovel into the same hole just fill it back in. my guess is it's easier for them to climb the fuck out once they walked on my depths. bcuz my roots have been buried in a grave n for dead they've been left. so you'll havta excuse me for not believing others trying to convince me of what they're saying is exactly what they mean. bcuz at the end of all their bs i'm tired of feeling like it's hard to fuckin breathe. i'm a man n i'm human but i ain't feeling it no fuckin more. everyone sounds the same just sawing on longs n i'm fuckin bored. falling asleep with zzz's flying over my head. as the only thing about relations anymore is taking the to bed. as i don't want what everyone else can have for i've been there n i've done that. i've had my fair share as i cannot remember them all n that's a fcukin fact. i've lost the thrill that gives into emotional lusts this i havta admit. n it bothers me on levels that leaves me more than pist. how did i become the one who cannot stomach luv due to there's no like for it evolve from? then again, that makes sense of why i stay on the run. onlt if i could feel the set of hands that never wanna leave my skin. nah, i ain't falling for the bs no more but i do wanna live. this alone shit is cool n all but even it wares off with time. n i'm way past that moment where the mind taps out n consciousness looks back at life. witness to how things could be better if i'd just open the fuck up. but there's something deep down that struggles to do anything to make it past being touched. for i am no one to anyone n that's jsut the way it is. i feel emptied with a malicious tickle in my rib. yeah, i'm just someone who ain't that hard to forget. as i've accepted who i am never to be missed.
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