caught off guard...

I know what i want n she doesn't look at me..  Her skin is tanned like she has been for years in my dreams... Below her shoulders hangs the length of her hair that I wanna grab... She turns me on n I'm at a lose of words when i hear her laugh... Triggering a deeper response wanting to be seen... From her presence I would never wanna leave... There's things about her that brings me to life... As who i am before her i could never hide... She's as soft as lotioned skin wanting to be touched... N i found her lingering in my thoughts long enough... For her face has not focused on me as of yet... Though I see her eyes taking notice in her surroundings not ready to place a bet... As short as her cute lil self can ever be... I believe she has disrupted the way i breathe... Creating a rush of emotions that has awakened the nerves... Each one wanting to reach for a feel to let the heart know it will never hurt... She's so fuckin pretty in ways i find perfection living in plain sight... As she's found her way rooted to the texture of my rhymes... Provoking what's been hidden to resurrect luv's truest form... I believe she could very well be my kinda norm...

dazed...

changes never seen only come into view after it's come n gone... seems life transforms before the eyes that somehow misses how time plays along... one minute things are flowing n then everything is no longer the same... it's as if blinks take place n what was is seen in an all of the sudden twist of years shaved... broken down into plain sight of different versions each step of the way... as the memory recollects eras of new from old exchanged... dishing out pain n regrets as to cram lesson into the head... wishing at times one could only wish the were dead... always having to refer to a prior time where feelings actually felt something real... as the memory fucks with the heart knowing how it truly feels... waking up in a foreign mindset trying to remember who self was way back when... it's like the mirror forgets to see the details changing within... loosening to trust as if self is for someone else to take care of... as emerging from depths is a confused illusion when speaking of luv... finding distance in between two different version that collide... not knowing which one to be when listening to how the inner makings has be redefined... as a motionless transparency deliver a striking blow... asking self, where in the fuck is home...

Infinite...

If I was to see u at ur worst fuckin moment as no fucks given ripped from ur heart... Jus to tell u how cute u are... Would u find me delusional to the fact that i believe you'd never do me any harm.?. Or laugh knowing u could tare me apart.?. I jus wanna know bcuz i believe i have what it takes to convince u of what a man is... N get close enough to ur lips shape shifting names to feel the syllables of my own slowly grazing ur ribs... As life turns on the flip side of grips to come to terms with who i am in a different sense of potency pressed against ur kiss... Chuckling with a confirmation standing face to face as sighs rip a tare in the air to reach for me landing on ur wish list... If I had a secret of how I find u in ur twisted mind attractive as fuck... As my like of u could easily adapt to considering a real chance at luv... Wrapping ur every word up in a silent thought held in my arms as my very own crush... Where would that insanity be able to hide knowing we're more alike than bodies laying flush.?.

Who are u.?.

I honestly do not know how to react to u... U have me talking in circles n loosening the restraints of use... I'm not sure what to do... Confused to how to even respond to ur requests for me to open up n allow emotions to call a truce... U ain't what i'm used to n i'll be damned if i counter ur interest without a thought... I've already paid that cost... Found myself marinading in a few different sauces... As i do not know if u come real n to the point a crawling with nerves that speak in tongues claiming to be flawless... I fear the images u bring to my imagination if things never had a chance... trying to forget the still like motion of a soothing slow dance... As the pain figures out a way to enhance... The feeling alone triggers my intuition to not to trust romance... So i find how confusion it is to cater to the sound of tones wanting to be friends... Knowing luv is selfishness that can create a bitter raw end... Once those drifting feelings are sent across enemy lines to be bent... I haven't a clue to if they can even contest a prior life wanting to vent... U scare me in ways if i'm wrong it'll be the edge of hope giving out from beneath me... Running back to more unfinished dreams... With a new sense of demise that turns on desires in need... Please understand as i speak of truths of how u inparticularly can cause a panic if relations could breathe... As if the dark were to sneak up on me n let me know it's there... Giving a lil intent to details heard if we were to be paired... I'm scared to even admit that a true friendship is rare... N petrified to witness u walking around in depths free to rip a tare of somehow care...

i don't wanna...

n if i just wasn't wanting to smile tonight...
what'll happen if i fell apart as pieces of u got shattered in my eyes...
if i seen what my life looks like with u nowhere around...
as the moment in which i'm in jus loses its feel n i hear the silence claim sound...
listening to my own heartbeat shaking in fear...
wiping away tears that once knew sighs grinding with the catching of gears...
if the thumps jus wasn't interested in anything more than falling into thought.?.
could u feel me from a far thinking of u stuck in a pause.?.
refusing to drift on with life that jus doesn't seem to be the same...
as if my arms miss holding the edge of ur beauty pressed against me as u softly whisper my name...
if i was damn near begging to relive ur touch.?.
would it ever be what it was before the chaos found its way to the center of our luv.?.
taking pure intent n transforming it into a reality i jus do not know...
as my expressions jus like sitting around losing hope...
jus bcuz it's the only thing that feels pieces of u left behind...
so if i lingered on without the one person that got to me, is it safe to say i jus might lose my mind...
attempting to rid me of who u were supposed to be...
forgetting i was the answer to how u told me of what we were in ur dreams...
as my cheesy azz grin wasted one final chuckle to end the pain...
would i be felt letting go as the memory of u finally died, before it's too late.?.

empty hole...

fighting off the swallows in the throat... doing everything possible to hold a straight face losing hope... depressions reaches from the crack that splits smiles.. as the truth speaks behind the silence of a heart so hostile... afraid to feel or be felt beneath a touch landing to change the mind... fear lives in plain sight hidden within the gestures of a clown intertwined... creating laughter outta thin air so no one knows the need to be left alone... keeping everyone far enough away so the escape can be quicker than lies settling in to moans... the dwelling is a comfort that reminds thoughts of the grin that'll take place the day death comes along... wondering why in the fuck did it take so fuckin long... prolonging the ease to leave this fucked up world to hate... as eye pretend to give signs of life for luv'd ones to believe one is awake... yet lil does anyone know of the pain that resides deep in the texture that refuses to let go... aching in days that turn the lights off to a different version where tears fall slow... showing a sense of life that's unable to enjoy what's said to be a gift... as even words are tilted on the tongue to deceive with the pattering of lips... telling others wellness is at peace when the battle digs to wanna awaken come morning await... only wanting night to last until breaths fade... thinking there's nothing wrong with dying if it's not committed as a suicide... for the time will end depths tortured to remain here acting like willingness is so alive... deliberately ignoring the fact that a final rest is the only thing that'll help a frightened use... wondering why emotion lingers in the solitude where there's a relentless abuse... drifting into a critical state of damn near begging for it all to go away... petrified of the possibility of  harmful acts cutting even further into hands as if to peel them from another friend gone astray... so fuckin far beyond ever returning from anxiety's grasp... having no need in restraints due to the weight carried is enough to complete the task... knowing the insanity is the best part of the whole process playing out... as in the head there won't be a forever to force torment to sprout... to kill the lil bit that has settled into a safe place within... clinging to moments where normal seems to be as brief as a tune of the worlds smallest violin...

Still remains...

Living through memories that never change... Timeless moments cut short of saying names... Stuck in the madness that captures hope... Dying emotions trapped in the throat... Remembrance claims life in a pause... Gripping to the cling of a luv so raw... Trapped in a mind that refusing to let go... Holding on to the feeling of a place called home... Flaws accepted through undeveloped dreams... Lingering is the wants depending on needs... Lost within the heart made of steel... Replaying true intent spinning on a mental reel... Unable to move on for the one got away... Sitting alone with blank expressions upon the face... Motion settles on being alone... As mute as the imagination losing hope...

It's never fair...

If i wanted u, there would be another wanting me the way u want someone else wanting who's looking at me the way I'm stuck on u... N the circle goes on through attractions that never meet due to turning away jus cannot allow to see how we look at one another caught in a stare locked in on us with use... Liking what we do the way our crushes cling to their own emotion waiting on that moment to hold vanity in arms filled with luv... As rare it is that any of us actually feel the return on passion more than willing to see the eyes design capturing how crazy the heart chases selfish needs building desire to be fulfilled with trust... As more often than not sight watches others walk off into the distance the life to be hurt the way the pain settles in knowing what we'd do to complete pure interest set aside... It's felt in the shutting down once the realization flings thoughts when alone to be able to see the game played intended to please self to gain a true piece of mind... When we crave a body type or a face that smiles directly at the free will to be touched in which hardly even happens... Creating the sound of laughter only reaches from ribs when the heads spin around to take notice in the sea of people who would enjoy two seconds be that distraction... Stripping away the feeling of a loveless mindset into a raw admission where relations transforms the remains of hope losing the battle... Yet, it's a every so often both parties collide in the middle of motion as still as a kiss wishing for time to slow to a hault so the rush can ease in to climbing back up on the saddle...

transparent...

lets speak on the pain anxiety causes... as fear pauses to pretend to trust luv so flawless... we can hide all the sensitivities until life tells on us... even after we give jus enough secrets that never touch base with what's been hushed... acting as if we opened up as time holds the truth... showing how we never really bared depths that's gone unused... cry with me as if we're happily ever after... going on with moments that only seem to matter... all the while being scared as fuck of emotion awaiting the twist... digging in to the shallows to find hollow wrists... unable to bleed if the end came around the bend to lend some real help... we can talk forever n not once be convinced that we're any different from anyone else... crossing paths can be a thing we do to make do of having someone to chat with... sworn to give in to the lies we spit... allowing the attachment to reach for a shift right before the skin is felt... keeping clear of the vibe pulsating beneath the surface like rising whelps... forced to ache by hands so gentle we can get mangled... landing so fierce with demands we cannot handle what's witnessed as grief dangled... as eyes change stares due to the tongue was not capable to deliver vital details of who we are... petrified to make use of the emptiness in the stillness damn near removing the heart... friends can have two faces for that's what we believe is in plain sight... then we can withdraw from the tingle once it wears off n go on about our way with new memories to paralyze the mind... crippling thoughts to gain anything more than the motionless funk we become accustom as yet another loss... do u as i do me n we can jus finish each other off...

faking gestures...

when they move on from one to the next like luv ain't shit... claiming it to be real every time lips lock in a kiss... calling each n every one honey n boo... talking about babe so names aren't said due to the transformation of emotional woos... it's so easy for them to give for nothing is ever personal... only looking for the thrill jus before it wears off with the silence of syllables... jumping in n outta relations like emotions are an after thought... know u cannot compare to the silhouette that fits like shadows moving until nights get lost... playing in the dark isn't all that fun when the lights come back on... able to see the ugliness from within displayed upon their face as if it's a norm... wanting to feel without a thought to makes sense of relations... it'll be over quicker then spoken of due to imitations... faking gestures the chance behind backs with someone else giving them attention... all bcuz they cannot be real enough to speak on what they seek with false intentions... diving in to get the goods n off they go to fulfill dreams of another that has no idea of the shallowness that will drown them... as it's back to self to defend... wondering why people play with emotions as if they have to true use to feel... dragging shit along that keeps them from ever opening up for the heart has been sealed... laughing at how others bounce off of it like a trampoline having fun... n when playtime is over they're on the run... checking into someone else's sanity to cause a fuss... creating the sliver of tongues to eventually cuss with disgust... trust isn't something they are willing to give... for they know deceit is easier than being hurt so they simply jus live... taking no accountability for actions that deprive luv of its worth... as one day their absence will be a comfort that cannot be heard...

corrupt dreams...

stuck in a dream is a thought... one where i'm reaching for the top as i pause... drifting on an emotion that ur not there... as if i don't understand why it seems unfair... to rise without u by my side... fuckin me up deep within my comatose mind... i feel u n ur nowhere around... lost to the undertaking of images that come when words are bound... as ur smile digs at me for my life is no longer the same... with one hand behind me waiting for u to grab a hold ur claim... knowing u will not appear depths begin to ache with the silence that cannot be heard... it's jus me in another nightmare where reality is blurred... buried in my subconscious is u n i living it up... yet waiting on u on the other side disturbs the awakening hushed... as my eyes water with how u linger in ur absence nowhere to be found... my guess is i meant what a said when i told u i had who it is i craved to luv as my heart pounds... lifting my head from the pillow trying to shake off the memory that promised u were the one... now haunting me without warning even though i've moved on so far from done... i'v dreampt of how passion cried standing along attempting to forget ur face... as i enter a new phase where the solitude plays its games... every time i lay me down to rest n fall into a different world i cannot escape... crossing over from the hard times to something more enjoyable there's a clarity of fate... as i believe u were not supposed to follow me even though i truly wanted u to... once upon a time ago keeps coming to me in the dark when my imagination rips loose... all bcuz i haven't accepted someone else to fade away with me... to become the irreplaceable desire i seek in my corrupt dreams...

Blurred vision...

How can emotion hate another when forcing self to learn.?. It's like we fight the transformation to adapt to our own worth... Struggling to admit we have flaws yet to stand on accountability undressed... As the frustration occurs in blame bcuz self believed in an endless occasion made to rest... Losing focus on plans to live in rhythm with someone of the chosen by the heart... Felling rage of hurt turn into fear twisting reality from what was to moving on with a fresh start... It's others that help the reflection to take notice in the mirror speaking without sound... So how is it fair to accuse anyone doing their part to edge us on to be found... To connect the pieces we do no realize are loose... With a chance to thank them for the recognition to evolve from a not so defined state of know it all into a true smile calling a truce... As the head shakes in disbelief of who we once were... Witness to how some don't catch on to the imposition to cross over n wipe the eyes free from a blur... Letting go of the betrayal caught up in the chest that lingers on... Healing to create a happiness so natural the pain laughs on the coocoo side of life for passion felt how the texture was torn... Left to survive with a better comprehension of what it takes to get along... As friends have nothing if one cannot get with a concept of nothing lasts forever n everything changes for things can go wrong... N it's the few who demand the same ol shit that confuse themselves in between relations the die in their hands... Living the some type of misfortune over n again due to lessons are ignored to feel part time fans... All doing the exact repetitions of motions sitting still in the dark... Unable to understand how the power of the mind is the maturity needed to coexist with a rare spark...

I must be...

I must be tripping bcuz i told myself no matter what...

n from there who in the fuck knows where life defines grunts...

vowing to remain on my own for as long as it takes...

somehow falling in luv with the solitude saves the gestures upon my face...

it's funny how the silence can bring an ease to the heart...

showing the mind it is ok the relax n go with life's lil  sparks...

having a friend within that touches depths deeper than any other could invest...

thinking relations is a convincing death...

for at least i'm willing to stick around...

making the best of how the loneliness consumes each pound...

thumping for the peace found behind the eyes...

knowing no one can get to the sanity created from lips that lied...

off in my own world as fucks have no need to be given...

nor emotions to ever be risen...

the ache transformed into a piece of mine all to myself...

n some time ago i realized i didn't want help...

as faces emerge from outta nowhere wanting to have a turn...

yet my secret is i only feel friendships that come along every so often that eventually hurt...

I must be crazy to think i'm better off without a body to hold at night...

that's what they all say is the best feeling when releasing sighs...

though i believe it's not another that gives the joy to sacred smiles...

n it makes me different for knowing the difference between two opposing lifestyles...

one in which caters to a more passionate nonsense that defeats individuality...

n the other that remains intact due to a mental personality...

having laughter that lasts as long as days can be lived...

never to end unlike unreasonable jabs to the ribs...

hearing promises to self whisper under breaths when attempts recon to get close...

as i distance myself from lusts trying to invade my home...

fearing change will wind me back at the beginnings of where i left off prior to the mingle...

wishing i woulda jus kept to myself n remained single...

with a desire to keep things simple i'm jus not like everyone else...

i threw the cards in when i didn't like what was dealt...

in belief with the slide of hand that steals willingness hoping to play...

slow to over come yet another loss bcuz we were not in the same game...

i fell through the smoke like cloud n came to know deception very well...

resting the thoughts that linger in words that are no more than spells...

distance is a must...

How is it you'd respond if you knew i was struggling to open up.?. Once the initial motion grabbed ahold of emotions n i felt something i used to know that hurt too fuckin much... Would u tell me i need to heal n go on about wasting ur time.?. Or understand i'm feeling some shit out that i haven't needed to find.?. Once u knew i was not in it to feel limits, who would i be as i stand.?. Refusing to adapt to a new friend claiming to be different again... As honest as my eyes can look u dead in the face n say, i don't feel anything... Do u believe you'd turn away or understand i haven't an interest in a false presence forcing its demands upon my everything.?. As i'm jus not looking for a partner to share every moment of my life with... Some things are for me n i don't wanna report to anyone lost in a kiss... There's more than a smile that gets corrupt under selfish intent when lives merge... So if i were to speak of how i jus wanna be me without the rush of passions surge... Could we jus do what we do somewhere in the middle of getting along.?. Or is that something that doesn't make sense to u as if relations are to be prolonged.?. U see, i struggle daily to wrap my mind around having someone around... As in spurts isn't so bad yet i like the solitude of my space on my own as i listen to the stillness of sound... Never to havta pretend to cater to one side or the other... Nor give into comforts that cause an eerie misplacement with someone trying to be more than luv'rs...

over rated...

luv is an emotional phase that comes n goes...

all it wants is to change u as the mind loses hope...

having to correct itself every time one believes in someone is different...

as the demand to feel shit is either gimme or words ready to vent...

for passion is a silence that cannot be heard... 

claiming to live forever even when it hurts... 

lost in a vibe that redirects interest along the way...

as most have a belief that varies on the tongue spitting names...

floating in n outta relations lookin to capture worth at its best...

it's a fantasy playing on feelings buried in the chest...

waiting on eyes to tell the truth in time to come...

all the while forgetting who self truly is becomes so numb...

lust even lingers as a side affect where mental comprehension struggles to remain a use...

taking hits along with the cuts that slit open the remains of abuse...

neglected as an individual attempting to male another happy...

slowly dying inside as the frustration is napping...

useless is the flow of sometimey gestures wearing off into a void...

walking up to a collision in the end acting like childish girls n boys...

i'm no one...

so u wanna know of how it is i feel... from old to new n in which way my heart sheds a peel... as my mind is a mystery to ur curiosity in where it'll wind up... do u wanna also hear the truth or jus a familiar story of hopeful luv.?. i can spit whatever it is u believe it is i already am to u... feeding u lines of empty use that drifts from the details that hide when i move... scared to be touched for friends ain't a thing i wish to be... i've already lost the best feeling that i'm so fuckin glad has set me free... done is my mindset when it comes to the silliness of relations settling on someone actually liking who it is within... i jus need to get on with life n fade into a different way to live... on my own without the clinging of someone everywhere i wanna go... asking watcha doin to where ya at bcuz it's no ones business if i don't feel shit but the chill of depths turned cold... i like it n i intend to find a piece of mind in my own... staying to self without the chaos of another twisting me against myself due to i don't meet expectations as i want my own home... loosened to the comfort of doin whatever it is i choose... not having to check in as if i have one of those masters to lose... it's birds n i will not apologize for wanting the peace n quiet for once... so please do not disturb me with babbling lips digging in to depths that's been hushed... my bed isn't lonely the way u reach for a body in the middle of the night... the coolness helps me sleep when i toss for a few going through shit in my mind... n no u cannot change the lack of passion wasting away... it's over rated as there is no pain here worth the stay... as i'll jus be under ur magnifying thoughts picking me apart... being felt isn't shit to me if u must know the honesty speaking facts so harsh... i like u but that's as close as you'll ever get for i do not have a belief in anything more... blinks last longer than memories made that one tries to forget as fragments from usefulness are torn... n words are what people perceive them to be in their own heads... if i was truthful i'd tell u u don't wanna mingle with the distance between u n i... n i'll sound broken even though i'm not so i'll give it to u the way u demand why's... fr i have a right to dismiss myself from attachments that do not interest me in any way other than a sexual imposition here n there... jus don't think if u come or if u go that i'll ever care... nothing was meant to last n folks jus aren't who we were told they so called appear to be when eyes witness the differences in version when acted out... or would u rather jus stare at me as i sit still n not ever make a sound... that way u can dream of how ur the one to capture n tame the beast that walks with a purpose to remain sane... to become a fairy tale awaiting the day u reshape ur smile claiming u lost the desire u had once upon a time ago refusing to say my name... with a wicked tongue i truly pause jus in case u temp yourself to dive in without a floaty device... sssh, there will be no surprise... consider me dead inside as it's ok to do u... mute my voice prior to ever getting to the frustrations you'll possess when we're not in the mood of being nude...

Empty n hollow...

Trying to remember who one once was before the heart took a dive... It seems there's nothing to be felt as one jus wants to feel alive... When thoughts caused anxiety to stir up fear within laying in bed.  Afraid of change as anything new is disowned I the middle of the head... Splitting rain into two jus to go with what coukd never hurt... Knowing it is self that's been lost in the rambling of words... Running away from nights like the memory onmy fades cone mornings shine... Unable to enjoy the precious purpose that creates priceless moments making a life... Wondering what happened to luv as the texture was released from within... The smile jus isn't the same when used as is situational to when it chooses to awaken with grins... Falling back into solitude due to the the mind weights pros tgat cannot compete with the cons eventual remains... It's difficult to face who one has become as an enmity vessel wandering without a flame... Waiting for the ignition to catch a spark loses fuel along the way somehow... In the transformation of evolving into a stranger never to be found... Inside there is no pain but a hollow presence tgat cannot find what it'll take to refill passions thrill tears been damned... As trust is a mental game of do it alone so everything will play out as planned... The remembrance is a blur n jus outta reach with pieces scattered about... Dying to believe one can get back to the soothe misplaced in the chests pound...

full grown...

on point... yet not in a childish fashion... it's a step that jus cannot be fronted.. as the walk is earned like the depths of passion... on some other shit in a mental presence unable to give in... havin assets in order n stayin away from luv... grinnin jus bcuz self needs no one else to stand on the edge of smile creep up on the face... as gettin with it is a way of life unbroken by so called trusts... sound in mind... listening to movement appraochin hiding intent... in some other world lookin in on others jus goin with the flow... as the wonder of mindsets never is taken into consideration like emotions spent... solo n off the grid... loosened to the feel of lusts reachin for a piece groped in palms... different in ways most jus do not understand... with a will to be without the chaos lingerin in sights... peaceful yet secluded for a reason jus far enough away from outstretched hands... havin no familiar face to turn on what desires believe is real... owning everything that's come from hard work... from the bottom on the rise of completions grasp... havin self worth...

5 minutes...

5 minutes in n i'll tell u if i havta go... vibes ain't fake if u cannot come across as self... help u by comin from within quick... time is one thing i don't have if the pulse ain't felt... from ur tone to ur words... tell on who it is u hide... trapped behind ur eyes for what.?.  that shit will keep my feet a movin while u sit around wonderin why... step up n be seen or watch me fade with a smile... laughin at how u propose a false presence like it's what i want... it be birds when u pause... fuck luv... i'm a lil more into those who can open up... there's a realness that cannot be mimicked... a pure worth not givin a fuck what others think... with a personal respect for self that speaks at first sight as a like... so twist a version u feel has appeal if u must... or find who it is u will eventually be... freed to the pupils gazin stares as if i jus cannot look away... ain't nobody ever lasted in imaginary dreams... movin with feet stompin on the very thought... left in a trans of wtf jus happened... i ain't on it n it ain't for me... 5 minutes n i'm out as gums are flappin... tongue slippin on the sippin of words meant for they taste so fuckin good... as for the lips connected to the texture don't have it in them to tell tales... tryin to be somethin other than jus another empty deceitful cause... the shit is for mutha fuckas chasin tail...

It's who she is...

She has this way about her without ever making a sound... Knowing how she carries herself defines how real men get aroused..  With this way about her she doesn't even havta try... It's who she is that catches eyes watching how she owns her own mind... As sexy as cool can be... Shes naturally down to earth as if plucked from a dream... Having her own purpose to enjoy what she likes... Allowing only true use to enter her mind... As she walks with a confidence from within that shows who she is... Never coming across as a arrogant biych for it's not a necessity to act out with distastful lips... N it makes her desired by most that aren't worthy of her kind... No better than anyone yet refuses negativities to disruot her life... She's a colorful as a rainbow splashed upon a canvas... A lil bit of everything the majority of females will never psosses... With her laugh free to live as it so chooses be shown... Creating an expression only she is responsible for when living alone... She is what the imagination asks for if the tongue wasn't to lie... A breath of fresh air so devine... She's this n that all wrapped up into one content lil package ready for the world... Fearless to be n adorable with a stare that will make toes curls... In her own space n time she believes in herself first n foremost... In tune with the music playing in her heart for that's her definition of home...

free to be...

words finding an outlet... written in plain sight to be read... so the memory doesn't havta remind itself of the change to come... like a paved road leading somewhere to a lil place called home where the heart won't feel so utterly alone...spilling truths as if there's anyone willing to read along... without a melody emotion speaks in which could never go wrong... twisting letters to bring to life what's hidden behind the wall... as a burden lifts to free the mind from thoughts consumed by how the eyes balled... able to release the tension built to get to going with the jotting down of a new situation... on with the next phase so joy an be more than an invitation... allowing others to see for themselves of who it is on the other side of writings able to breathe... with a lil heart splattering itself onto pages so the mind can dream... telling a story of past n present for the future to find a groove... hoping the tongue isn't heard with a tone calling another truce... blank space accepts whatever is to be smeared so it to can have a life worth a pause... for someone at some point to feel it so it to can have a cause...

keeping to self...

drifting from emotions eased back and waiting for whatever... giving into a more mental state of mind so sanity n self can stay together... going on a i don't give a fuck mentality where relations jus aren't needed to live... feeling only the chase of money that keeps the balance of life without skips... able to reason with the heart settled into a more relaxing comfort made for sighs... resisting the complexity of hope rushing the scene of luv at the drop of a dime... knowing the pointless emergence of now is only a fool lingering with the hype... as soundless nights are silent with peace n quiet far from the chaos of mingling with expectations... the thought of being figuratively owned does not appeal to a smile worth self's obligation... for residing without a body laid close is a matter of choice for the pieces to stay intact... there's nothing like losing it all jus for a chance at best always moves to fuckin fast...

the crave...

struggling with the physical nature of a body type... having being used to a more petite frame is a crave that adds to the hype... yet the approach comes with a different shape that isn't quite so felt in sexual intent... as sighs aren't coming from depths to vent... having less of a need to wanna mingle with pleasure seeking a thrill... desires go with the flow trying to make orgasms spill... for the harder it is to get into the mood to get tangled up in moans... the mind drifts to imagine a smaller frame never to left alone... an attraction attempts to get a feel of a norm for something that jus doesn't fit the rush... knowing it's more enjoyable when lil is tighter wrapped around the pulse so flush... as a fair chance of change is given to see if passion can make due... evolving from satisfactions that sets hormones loose... finding there's a limit to how fingers send signals to nerves ready to go boom... tiny figures tend to the kinks of inner sensitivities... triggering a more intense vibration a slightly taller or thicker woman cannot create no matter the activities... yet, fun is fun as willingness helps with an open mind to play... the difficulty of what one enjoys does not have the same affect to what one craves... there's a preference that is cheated when the beast isn't fed... as the gratification is on two different levels when it's said... retracting an honest go with someone a tad larger than what's needed to touch the fix... there's jus something about the control factor when in the mix...

Thinking of u again...

If you'd be so eager to role play a lil something in the mood of secret desires acting out... Willing to create noise as ur limbs ar bound... Baring ur flesh to my eyes witness to the presence of ur natural curves... Having no use in anything other than the fulfillment of lingering words...  In return I'd have u trying to get away from me with ur legs shaking... Unable to lay still even though you've given control to a crave so raw sighs become breathtaking... But that's for my imagination to play with... Wondering if I'll ever get a moment to help u adapt to true intent... Loosening the tweaks of vision of u on the loose... As my fingers alone would feel a touch over every inch of ur smooth skin stripped of clothing to soothe my mind subdued... Reaching for a reaction as you'd be restrained to the bed for my free will to enjoy ur bodies movement before my tongue ever tastes ur potion u keep hidden down in between ur thighs... Oh my... Tucked away from moans for safe keeping I seek ur juices upon my chin... Knowing the sensitivity is waiting out the escaping thrill of satisfaction pleasured as I toy with ur hormones giving reason to ur orgasms to live... Let it drip as ur freak refuses to hide... Allow each drop to hold a single crave... As orgasms come to life... So I can taste the individual thoughts flowing as u whisper my name... Feeling how every thought is given a chance to leak... Spreading upon my tongue... Fulfilling fantasies leaping from ur dreams... Forever sinking into my taste buds... Adding my own twist to the circular sway of ur azz moving on the sheets... Easing ur mind as u release ur imagination for me to see... Licked n savored for all time as my opportunity to show u need... As I play with ur kinks jus to hear u breathe... Jus ssh... I got this... As slow as the swivel of my tongue can rotate around ur clit... Moving with an ease through ur lips... Hands gripping the feel if ur hips... Until my cock is felt pushing on ur ribs... Yet, it's in my mind where I believe u must stay... Naked n feeling every nerve bust over n over again as my own personal slave... Leaving the wonder to think of me when ur fingers roll with ur clit saying my name... As the thought of the first push reaches for depths inserted from in between ur legs... Imagining the feel of having my thick long cock shoved so far in u u loose control... As it rests deep within u for u to feel before I even begin to stroke u ever so slow...

pretending...

it's hard not falling in luv with counting on self... once the passing of truths have no use in another felt... going inward tends to suck the life outta others wanting to cling... as safe is a place within that refuses to hurt when they decide to leave... claiming ride of die yet it's only for their own selfish cause... while the mind gets trapped attempting to correct emotions detailed flaws... it ain't easy to give in when the mirror is ones best friend... knowing the bonnie n clyde fantasy is the lies that vent... pretending to be still standing in the end of everything falling apart... as the bittersweet isn't what lips express that comes far sooner to install fear in the heart... breaking down in eyes to wind up in reflections giggling with sighs... turning on the motion reaching for a touch that cannot get past the vanity hiding reasons not to even try... having comfort in the solitude unlike any luv that ever found depths calling out... talking with a tongue to remind the silence of why life is better without the chaos of expectation crowned... being a peasant among so called kings n queens pretending to be more than reality keeps them humble... the smile doesn't feel they same way to allow desires to tumble... rolling upon the bed to fall off once the newness is gone... substituting wants with needs long enough to lay around a while until willingness feels something's wrong... as it's soothing to drift with time to lock doors without the world that can fuck off... always wanting a temporary sense of hope that fails to delivery more than words demanding passion to go soft... when cutting restraints of change that isn't a natural transition a deeper mood surfaces never to be fuckin disturbed... pretending not to enjoy the company of a special someone loosening to the affect of whispers hushed... telling sound what to say with tone made to believe there's no difference from one person to the next... able to sit alone with what matters for the honesty in it all is no one had it in them to keep doing the same ol shit with what builds up in the chest... jus to be released by empty hands letting go... chasing the thrill of the hype instead of a simpleton who has no interest in wearing figurative thrones... as what's tucked behind the mask worn is pieces of what's been overlooked... sleeping alone with the restless relaxation settled down with fuck you's of disbelief in what has not as of yet been shook...

The undead twist of forever...

What to do when ones fucked their dreams.?. Fell in luv n touched lonely screams... Awakening to paradise resting in sights... Just to remember how words used to express life... Having happines switch hitters when the heart felt the end... Held in hands so soft the squeeze showed true depths of a friend... As the mind eased in ways luv consumed emotions worth... When after knowing no one else will fill comforts that hurt... Feeling lost with others wanting to close in on empty space... Unable to replace raw beauty that's suffered n damn near is all but gone but an embedded face... Realizing the definition of heartless swinging from the blindside... Landing as a counter punch one never would've thought would ever take flight... How does one follow the ultimate passion taunting the smile in a dare.?. As if voices carrying tones jus does not quite sound fair... When leaving a thrill to die somewhere attempting to forget... Fighting memories of hope that no ones else tries to enter the hidden fortress... Reaching for sacred thoughts cut short of a lifetime cut from desires holding on... Who does one become in the aftermath that creates fear as the damnation mourns... More in tuned with the silence than a physical presense for the dead motion within resists recreate the chaos... When self has been a victom of pure use paused... Stuck in between someone who had it all n being afraid ti come back to life... Reminded by a stranger that the one will not be coming along... Fueling the struggle to allow another in beneath the skin for it feels so fuckin wrong... When arms wrapped around the only thing that ever existed as tge answer... What in the fuck is to come of the dead end that transformed willingness into refusals that give excuses that pour.?. Believing in nothing will be so sweet... Scared of how kisses breathe... Wandering in the dark tasting skin freshened up for an occassion that will not last... Wondering why is it so hard to imagine anything else that what one once had... Taking away from the precious details to find happiness whether it be here or there... When solo makes more sense than becoming yet another fading pair...

change...

thoughts are chase by emotions that believe they are summoned....

every time the mind spins in solitude feelings cling to me useless memories...

unable to vibe with the shock wave of laughter of how everything has changed...

following words across white space to fill depths opening up with lost energy...

all but forgotten is the are the phases of time repeating in the remembrance of self...

transformed with the shedding of weight to free the burden of its own duties...

age creeps along until a room is the only thing to witness life shake its head...

thinking with the chest waiting to awaken to a fresh sense of beauty...

wondering will it finally have its moment to complete a task inits rarity...

the beating on the pulse is heard pounding on echos trying to get them to submit...

still going strong is the battle within that resembles patience holding hope...

enlightening the gathering of what needs to change is one could actually admit some shit...

so days can find a purpose to enjoy pieces unused that connect the thinker n the feeler...

at war is motion where comfort is a conflict between being alone n having a friend...

goin the distance unseen by the naked eye that can only be witnessed in the mirror...

it all turns out differently that what intent in the start of every last gesture made...

from the tears of struggles to the dreams of wanting something to last a lifetime...

calling on desires to hush jus long enough to gather where in the fuck trust can rest...

as faces change shapes as so expressions worn are only along for the ride...

somewhere in the stillness the music can be heard for peace to settle on pillows...

tired from all the chaos n havoc that has corrupted willingness' use...

rage n selfishness rips passion as if picked apart by its own flaws...

to gain control of character shattered one to many time for the weakness rallies in the abuse...

knowing the wall must come down at some point to fulfill the balance spoken of...

taking into consideration of intention of others that drift in the wondering hype...

fantasy based nightmares haunt the nights deep into the darkness shattered about...

covering angles that when questions seek answer in the matters of why...

as sighs find air to conclude there's a lil more left to be had with a change...

groped by lips on the exhale the heat reminds the bow of a kiss worth a fuck...

creating a tilt to lean on a teeter towards loneliness claiming it's had enough...

only wanting to wake from the tug that pulls both ends of consideration to remain as the crutch...

here.now

there's no goin back to the beginnings once the fire has been lit... we cannot correct intent as life plays out its twist... some things jus need to be put in place for the knowing of direction to come... for the truths will not allow the past to be anything more than facts we must trust... having a purpose in choices to create a tomorrow out on every fcukin day... having an importance to the way words match the eyes detailed design to maintain...easing back with patience to perform with smiles paving the way to where hearts wanna go... living on so much more than the uncertainty of hope... doin it all over again is not an option if minds do not comprehend the bond... as fingertips will come to feel the slip that finalizes relations lost... it takes moments now to even consider the thought of waking up in the same situation come mornings light... to roll with days gathered by weeks in months it takes to make years of a happy life... starting here with the exchange of words that are meant to better beliefs before ever being shown... never to force the natural affect of simultaneous tombstones... for there's a joy clinging to the walls with memories to be hung... in full understanding of what friends are before it's all said n done...

Be my crazy...

Be my fuckin nightmare... I'll be whatever it is u need me too be... Jus be fair... N breathe... Use what I have for ur beneficial gain... I'm at ur fingertips... N i wanna see ur tude at ur worst say my name... then commence to tasting it sucked from ur kiss... Twisting ur fear of being hurt into something beautiful... To embrace u along the way of u getting to know I'm here for life... So u can finally ease up to a slow drift  for I'm helpful... Able to feel things with a sense of hope in a stable mind...  Be my never ending daydream before me reshaping my smile... Carving ur name into the texture of my heart... Playing unselfishly in the mingling of merging lifestyles... Create a better sense of what luv truly is as i hold u in my arms... I have what u seek... Buried deep in my chest for u to come claim... Accept u like I have never felt any other as emotions leak... Over flowing to touch ur cheek with a stroke like kissing a flame... Burn me with the heat of passion so i am forever scared... So ur tucked in with the most sacred details of what makes me me... Lemme frustrate u a lil as it's my way of telling u i'm no one to fear... Show in plain sight as we move though life ever so free... Be my crave that cannot go without having u around... I'll allow u to in... Watch u kick ur feet up n make yourself at home like wow... I don't give a fuck where you've been... I jus wanna be the pieces u cannot seem to fit jus right... The thought alone is something my imagination toys with all day long... Taring u down to bare minimum so the wall can surround us inside... U see, i believe if it were u n I we could never go wrong...

the hidden grind...

I'd grind with u a lil more than slow as fuck... There'd be no fuckin like cn animal jus tryin to get a nut... I'd ease with the motion in tune with the closeness of ur trust... Loosened with a grasp of over u u crush... looking in ur eyes to intensify the thrill of having u in my life... claimed as mine... oh the feel of u as our skin touches would break my from my mind... bring the one person i keep a secret as i have reasons of why... as thrusts would mean more with my heart involved... loneliness with u is a problem solved... halting thoughts coming to life in a moment to pause... allowing night to collect how we get tangled up with a greater cause...with transparent walls that cannot resist the feel of devotion seeking ur sighs... i'm weak even though i aim to please the very soothe loosening to find... gathering moans as deep in to the darkness that i can reach for ur all as we grind... breaths panting from the passion flowing from within hype.. destined to take shape with u as one in the same... jus to hear ur softly whisper my name... opened to u as we roll around playing lil games... easing our way through how expressions changes thy face... taking my time down as low as m tongue can go... buried in between ur thighs as ur hands grip my head like a throne... listening to the sounds leaping from ur lips as i've found my home... from u there is a reason why i havta hide though i'll neva lose hope...

For her though...

I feel shit most say i shouldn't... Like a attraction of a woman who's taken even though i wouldn't... Yet the thought of her spread wide truly turns me on... As she's seeking the thrill of what she isn't getting  by acting out her desires in a homemade porn... But I'll never approach her knowing she sends happy in her own... As I'm thinking how lovely it would be to please her as age moans... I guess I'm a whore deep within with morals holding me off... Jus wanting ti feel on her body ever so soft... I wouldn't jus fuck herb I'd taste her skin... Oh how it's cherish the presence she creates within... Moving with the best of the heart goin at odds own pace... Showing emotion come to life upon my very own face... So in tuned with the sway of her hips moving to how i curl my tongue... Fuck, i need to stop before my mind begins to run... Though I'd luv to place my hands on her shoulders n ease her day... Putting myself in a situation where content finds comfort in her jus the same... Mmm, when i see her i cannot help but to wanna tell her what i have in mind... Oh bow my waot would be worth having her in my life... N howshe confess i either give a fuck... I'd do more than show her how my like of her is willing to groove with her luv... For u see depths smiling in tbe way she naturally is... I jus wanna waptch her live.... Crushing hard i stay to myself... Wishing her the best as she has no idea agrees felt... She's beautiful n I'm sure she knows... Only if she knew my appreciation of how I crave to get her alone... To express real proof of my own intent... I'd luv to exhale holding her as my heart is lent... Giving it a go to gain what it us i have stuck in my head... N it's not even about getting het in my bed... Worth a second coming of depths to be filled... Oh what an actual fuckin thrill... Let me have life loosen to the breathe taking hope... Though I've been drinking n the truth flows without being bit by how is gloat... Mmmm is so hard to come across someone wanna cater to... With the tone of her complexion that draws my truce... I havta remind myself she's someone else's n ti levee it alone... But fuck me if i can't help bit to allow my mind to roam...

looking up...

Imma look up one day with an opened heart...
Giving more than pieces unclaimed feeling the spark...
With a fire to warm hands touching my flesh...
To be felt somewhere around the time use comes with depths...
As the gates swing loose from hinges that need broke...
Falling for the sounds of sweet passionate moans...
I'll take notice in a passerby i cannot seem to do without...
Wanting the comfort of a friend as the pulse pounds...
Reaching for a presence that means more than words...
It'll come when i too enjoy a lil convo in the works...
When the head lifts n my eyes focus on a face...
Tuned in to the expressions as they say my name...
Able to drop my guard n live with another by my side...
Attached with the humor bringing me back to life...
In a moment of truth that there's no one else...
Accepting terms to who's best for self...
Having no resistance in what it takes to breathe one more time...
Moving tongues to the side to show movements can only be mimicked by rhymes...
Laying flush with desires set aside for a better cause...
Knowing if i had given in too soon I'd miss my chance to feel her in my palms...
For the secrets of me will be known of what I'm willing to do...
Calling out my reasons to gain a truce...
Proving the wait began with loyalty some time ago...
N the one to be will never again be alone...

I ain't the one...

You'll never get ur way with me... I won't feed into ur one sided beliefs... N i don't care to comfort ur selfish emotions... I simply refuse to put myself aside to give to ur so called devotions... Luv is blinded by what the heart wants... Devouring all other intent to keep the peace... As pieces are taken along the way to consume the greed... You won't be satisfied with the constant need... To be left with a wanting u cannot obtain... Craving me until u give up on the thrill of staying in my lane... That's what you'll havta get used to if u dare...  Just bcuz i do not care to play fair... To make sure ur precious lil thoughts are catered to isn't no interest of mine... Nor is it appealing to fall so deep you'll believe u can do whatever in the fuck u wanna do to my mind... So touch me if u think u have it in u to play... I ain't like others n there's no chance to begin the useless games... you'll never breach who it is i am... To claim me is not a choice for who it is before u doesn't partake to the concept of how u molded an image of a common man... stuck in ur head as to remind yourself that u can have ur way at will...  Yet that shit doesn't work on me so fuck ya feelings for u do not pay my bills... Your road to being spoiled isn't the path i wanna cross... I'm just as human as u with desires at a loss...  I need not hustled to be treated as if i do not exist... so listen carefully to the words coming from my lips...

i just wanna watch..

i just wanna watch...

to witness ur hands slowly slide with the suds...

knowing i'm gazing a the beauty u possess...

craving to have u flush...

noticing how u lather ur body...

playing with a tease...

barely able to see u through the curtain...

yet just enough to visualize u in the steam...

feeling ur way around every curve...

cleansing away to day...

making sure i get turned on...

softly whispering my name...

as u step into the flow of water from above...

rinsing the bubbles down...

just so i can sigh with how they cling...

listening for u to make a sound...

appreciating the grind of ur hips...

moving with a bend...

arching ur back...

exposing just enough of what's tucked beneath ur rear end...

as the blur hides what i cannot see...

i follow ur form...

visible like a shadow taunting me...

deliberately laughing as if a silhouette worn...

to enjoy u from a far...

as sight feeds thoughts...

bare naked n outta reach...

perfections finest without a flaw...

as u sway with attention...

giving lust a new name...

unselfishly allowing me to sit with patience...

i just wanna watch u bath n change the expression upon my face...

hoping to touch u when you're done...

to feel what my own eyes felt...

drifting with how wet u can get...

caught coming from the shower as my tongue licks where u melt...

dripping with pleasure...

ready n willing to be groped...

as i kneel before u with ease...

just to here u moan...

I just wanna watch ur eyes roll...

pinning u against the wall...

hearing u accept what you've caused...

creating echoes finding their way down the hall...

loveless...

i can feel the music but i cannot feel the real thing...

am i in trouble as i am unable to use emotions for anything other than a fling...

flung from the tip of the finger as if a bird...

i cannot seem to reach depths as they have no worth...

i believe feelings dried up when i realized is for mindless fucks...

n in return it causes my own tongue to cuss...

who gives a shit when friends come n go...

holding on to attachments for far longer than the heart can feel alone...

twisting use into a wad of mental stability's kept from another's tame...

so fuckin done with all the endless games...

there is no desire other than sexual sensations crawling with a tease...

jus wanting time spent on knees...

passion is not a necessity to live a more reasonable life...

where confusion doesn't settle into the texture of smiles felt as if tasting lies...

i have no response to such movements coming from beneath the skin...

i jus want to fuckin live...

without the beginnings that always end...

becoming scandalous when the drifting is met by the same expectations fading with what's left...

at best it's the moment to enjoy someone until they decide to change their mind...

when self isn't done with all the sensitivities that expose sacred details in a unique kinda design...

i nothing to give worth a fuck...

i'm empty to the touch other than being turned on by lusts...

past the point of wants claiming to be needs...

there's no way to get to me...

even if one were to find their own way in...

they'd be lonely in the opening of doors as i sit with a grin...

waiting for them to give up on what i've already let known...

but i can give with pleasure some well deserves moans...

rolling through a night of cravings trusted by fingertips reaching for sound...

or is it i haven't found someone i jus cannot go on without.?.