i can't find it.... consistency never lasts... joy tends to evade the feel.... after so long the thrill becomes the past... attempts are forsaken... the heart can't find the reason... n life continues on... changing with the climates seasons... i jus don't know if it's someone else... it might jus be me... seems i've cater to the feel of pain so long... jus maybe i refuse to get on with reality... unable to connect even though i try... yet it's the details that give signs i do not believe in... as the lessons were self provoked... new faces smile like it's them because of me they grin... watching me resist the feel of getting so close... finding an issue to point out... breaking down intent through realities prior to them coming around to remain a stranger... not wanting to wait on time to remove an other as a luv'r who has their head in the clouds... looking for a drifter worth the emotion given away... needing someone in a more mental state to emerge from the crowds eye view... jus passing by as a feature to get wrapped up in relations that soothe the mind... i fail every time i witness the details tell on weaknesses as heartbeats move... losing a piece of what could've been if i haven't have already felt its wrath... as the particles within shift to adjust to the comfort of change once again... dissecting others to be alone is what i think is the end if i cannot redefine who i am... i can't find my peace to willingly devote actions to flaws i've see as on to many fans... confiding in trust that never existed in the depths of honest use... so i pick n choose terms of what i can live with n what i'm simply afraid of...no matter if it's a luv'd one or them i wait patiently for that glitch to speak up n say, nah... like i'm the only one to reserve the torment we all go through... needing more than a tongue to release what awaits the one i luv... an individual healed n ready to accomplish that raw intellect goin blah blah blah...
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