what are u waiting on.?.

how often is it u feel alone.?. jus wanting someone worth a convo to talk to...

do u wish u could use to an others smell.?. jus for the comfort of the norm stuck like glue...

sitting there for how long can u wait.?. looking at the options without a care...

at least that's what u ant them to thing... attempting to enjoy the way u don't play so fair...

are u jus being petty so u can complain... afraid to enjoy a face willing to smile wide...

time ain't gonna pause n it sure ain't on ur side... so who is it on ur weary mind.?.

laying in silence with thoughts that keep u up all night... waking tired n confused...'

disoriented by ur own choices to remain single.. all bcuz u allowed someone to abuse u...

taken u for granted as now no one can get close enough to feel u... as it's a truce u hold...

so vital to ur selfish heart never to be hurt again... are u giving up or jus growing old.?.

finding the bitter life making more sense so u can be hateful... knowin u want to be luv'd...

u can try o talk to the mirror but ur lies won't be heard... the a motion u truly crave the touch...

wrapped up n still in arms as lips find their way to move...  tasting a tongue that tells the truth...

yet u refuse to open up to find a friend... knowing jumping in is not the way to use...

why won't u get to know someone in this life rolling by.?. is it ur sick of being failed.?.

or is it pieces of self so unreasonable u cannot relate.?. feeling all the good within u derailed...

who in the fuck are u gonna turn to once u grow old if there's no memories made.?. playing it safe...

believing u have time after healing to be as picky as u wanna be... who are u fooling when u cave.?.

behind closed doors as eyes leak every now n again... like ur the only one that's took every blow...

forced to replace a kiss with this air that only chaps the feel... better yet, when do u wanna go home.?.

more than words...

goodbyes ain't much once one has lost a few to many that claimed to be friends...

loosening up the grips on relations after the head shakes in disbelief willing to go solo on the rent...

knowing what it's gonna take for self to continue to remain in cahoots with luv...

jus bcuz if like falls from the minds interest on some bullshit it's toodlie tough...

shoulda been on ur shit is all the lips can say one tme as the turn removes em from life...

poof, gone, done, like it never happened trying to waste someones time...

stepping on the move as motion ain't on the goofy childish nonsense always falling short...

happiness means more than tears that'll be brief jus to shrug off the attachment as a bore...

toodles comes as easy as actions when the hearts in rhythm of not fuckin around...

either come with it when the moment triggers a distant memory to be made or self cannot be found...

emotion isn't allowed to feel immaturity's on a constant rotation of inconsistent beats...

my shit doesn't skip for failures to enter without limits so know it will never be hard to breathe...

needing a lil more than a laugh to be intrigued by a smile that hides the truths of trust...

so deuces ain't afraid to fly with birds in the other direction without the blame pointing out lusts...

friends do not havta repeat how an other is suppose to better conditions to joy can splurge...

whenever n wherever it tickle touches the tenderness giving a reason to accept worth...

it's a mindset that'll release who thinks forever is unconditional when the refusal stands firm...

mistreated in half stepped isn't a relapse due to lessons have been forced to endure more than words...

fuck it with the flip of middle finger soar if the hype is all there ever will be...

i'd rather be alone for it's not so bad knowing others are jus trying to impress instead of living outside of dream...

straight sex...

from the tip to the base... slid in n buried to witness the expressions displayed upon the face... using motion to feed the moans... digging in to the feel of the tones that roam... pulsating n wrapped... stuff with girth goin from slow to fast... pounded in repetitive thrusts... length reaching the sensitivities of climatic lusts... slipping on the move to pleasure the thrill... balls deep to get the fill... rolling over to the ride... taking top so turns can come to life... grinding from the hips... sucking on kisses n nibbling on lips... hands fondling the body with ease... deeper inward for the need... hearing whispers talk of desires... dirty as filthy can bounce higher n higher... flipping positions to the face down control... penetrated from the back as toes fold... speaking in tongues wanting more... fucked harder as the shaft rams the core... in n out as hair is gripped... looking back talking shit... forcing the beast to awaken the freak... drove into the headboard crawling on the knees... sound rips loose as cum rushes to the peek of ooooooh... goin simultaneously exploding as aahhhs go mmmm....

faces...

looking at faces wondering what hides behind their eyes... as curiosities dabble on the sights of the unknown thought clinging to the mind... wanting to find the words that might intrigue a conversation waiting to be made... then the tongue flips with the tone to express no ones interested in depths that fade... believing they only enjoy features that change to break their hearts... making it hard for someone like me to dig in to their means... to think of becoming a piece of their days loses the feel once coming from within a daydream... so the approach never takes place that's left for others to look like fools... or maybe it's jus the belief in self that isn't seen as that individual chasing moods... there's faces the come into the visual that turn the head quicker than others... entering the mind wanting to know more of the creature that hides behind the feel of a luv'r... as temptation to speak crawls upon the lips to be unheard from a far... pondering the expressions it'll take to earn the interest of their smile to remove their scars... depths linger in brief stares that last about as long as them to overlook anyone wanting in... having a kink that holds back all the moments that drift away never to touch the skin... witnessed is the gestures of beauty stretched upon faces gone with the turning of checks due to the mouth never opening to release intent... letting them go on about their way as not to disrupt the motion in their very chest... unprovoked to be seen by a face in the crowd that could show truths in what could become so friendly... seems the beginning falls to sleep before the magic can even think of an alternative ending...

are u ready.?.

if lies were to step aside n allow the tongue speak what's truly on ur mind...
what creation from ur imagination would come to life.?.
as eyes clung to expressions freed to be heard to show ur mindset...
is words to much for communication to be heard so tone can invest.?.
if time gave a moment to witness truth told face to face...
where would the night go once lips touched the use of letters that escape.?.
on the roll that dives in between turns to relate herein the middle of life..
could u gather ur maturity's long enough to share a thing or two.?.
looking at someone trying to figure out if friends can be made of a truce...
opening the gates with a swing so free will can find comfort within...
exposed in chatter loosened at the gums as the jaw caters to the sound of grins...
if honesty's were to come forth of self in the matters of being known...
who shall it be seen from the inner seams of changing into what roams.?.
if pain wasn't on the table for it has been felt in depths where fear was hell to overcome...
do u believe you'd wanna sit for a while n tell a few things or would u run.?.
no ones begging u to stick around if u don't feel the need to ease back...
jus realize u ain't the only one who's been twisted to figure out a new path...
so what of the questions in ur head that haven't found the answers u seek.?.
wouldn't u wanna know if the passing halted jus for u to simply breathe.?.
in all seriousness what's the point of goin on without someone worth the feel.?.
show yourself in rare form in the most raw motion so luv changes likes wheels...
spinning like thoughts crossing ur every notion to bypass yet another interest taken...
i know the feeling so i ask if ur ready to attempt a lil thing made from scratch awakened...
jus u n i in a room filled with what we are able to create so joy reasons with sighs to come...
or u can let me know i'm not ur pickings n all leave u to this world gone numb...

out n about as us...

lets plan a night out n get ready to have some fun...
jus break away from the norm n tap back into the feel of being in luv...
u can ask if u look alright as i will not lie...
knowing damn well u can pull off about any look in my mind...
i wanna do something where there's not so many people in the way...
that way u n i can enjoy a night together for the memory to misbehave...
i'd luv to see u smile n enjoy us in motion living life...
side by side winging it to go with the feel of forgetting time...
damn, the way u look when u try to look ur best is unreal...
i'll play some music to enhance to mood for we know we are real...
showing this world something to envy without even at it even once...
n to hear ur chuckle in the middle of preparations is too cute not luv...
it's the joy u bring to getting it in that creates the rush...
to join in on what there is to do after hrs no matter the scene...
shit, we could jus go for a drive n a walk until morning if that's ur dream...
as long as it's u n i letting loose from behind these civil walls...
the pleasure would be felt both ways as our hearts fall further to its call...
alive n living with the knowing that it's us til the end...
unafraid to do things so we do not become stale as friends...
it's a matter of keeping this thing between us up n at em...
fearless due to who we are is the thought gathered through actions as we run...
gone into the deepest depths of darkness waiting on daylight...
held in arms watching to sun show itself upon the horizon as a spotlight...
shedding rays upon our face ready to go back home n crash...
lets do something that wakes up the excitement somewhere away from here...
jus the two of us capturing the meaning of relations even if it's jus being weird...

ready but never free...

what if i was ready yet u scared me back into the fear of not wanting coming out to play.?.
as others around me tell me there's no such thing to perfect as believing that's my reason to escape...
not knowing there's a few things i jus cannot do to go forth with relations only claiming to be real...
who's to say i'm for the faint of hearts jus diving in without knowing why it's me u wanna feel.?.
if i laid it all out for u to witness i'm only goin in if my friend is to appear before my eyes...
could u understand i jus don't know u that well to so freely give u my heart as to enter my life.?.
tell me u cannot relate n i'll walk away right here in the middle of these words reaching for u...
never to turn around to see whatever is to come of who u are moving to ur own truths...
i ain't gonna lift my heels over head n lose the grounds i've struggles to obtain...
i'mma need u to comprehend the matters at hand so the clarity can show u i'm not for the pain...
i'm distant to get to know the threads that sow ur seams together so i can weave a pattern...
it's not that i cannot luv nor want the tenders that come with the simplicity of what can be shattered...
i am jus able to control my own passion so it doesn't get wasted on another dead end...
so much goes into the terms but very lil tells the exposure through time if it's u i am to depend...
are u capable of slowing down ur crave to see if u like me beyond the eyes of lusts.?.
bcuz i refuse to dig in to who u are if we cannot come to a mental passage that leads us to luv...

scared to accept luv...

when words find themselves too far in to the past to be spoken...

n the mind over looks the thoughts bringing back old memories flirting...

the heart gets the raw end of the deal jus minding its own...

left to endure a past life bcuz the mind refuses to find someone more grown...

claiming it's not time as even the body is tired of not belonging to touch...

it's like playing follow the leader with emptiness as the guide to luv...

with one thing making sense of likes that give to truth wanting to be known...

there's no help to the emotion fighting the mindset of a fool in luv with being alone...

feeling the sexual tension creating the frustration having enough of the solitude...

ready is the condition of use for once as the drift finds memories to elude...

not being able to keep the cherished times that had to go with faces trapped in moans...

as one at a time no ones ever good enough to keep for selfish reasons on a lonely road...

leading nowhere soon for comfort isn't allowed in the heads game fuckin with self...

overthinking every angle to remain as solo as relations left the package without hope...

knowing it's gonna take an other to get to the feeling of norm needed to be groped...

in depths consequences realize the control must ease up to enjoy life's lil thrills...

yet what goes on up in the highest matters thought out is the damning of will...

whispers tinker with the scars so the pain cannot come in the shape of a tombstone...

feeling the battle within continue to slowly win the war displayed as a combat zone...

it's jus one of those nights...

it's jus one of those nights that dig in to the silence of words muted unable to find sound...
feeling lifeless by the capture of the heart refusing the ability of the mind found...
long n drawn out in thoughts are lines of mistakes contradicting the feel ever to be in luv...
giving up on the  misplaced emotions hiding in the dark waiting on the drift on hush...
falling back into the pain sent from the cores emptiness wanting so much more...
as the memory fades with the flames blown into smoke loosening the depths of the core...
bouncing from the lies to the truths upon the mimicing tongue tasting prior times...
all due to being alone for so fuckin long that's all there is to remember the loss that resides...
not knowing what self is to do with the whereabouts of hope lost beneath the smiles bend...
hidden in solitude as if never to forgive the betrayal of choices that wound up as the ultimate end...
gone is passion from the texture of the hearts design transformed into an empty shell...
yet there's no tears this to rectify the way even pleasure doesn't feel the need to excel...
thinking what the fuck is it that'll deliver me in to a movement beyond lustful fetishes...
banished is the letting go of others as self is the last piece to be removed as a selfishness...
buried is the lips is convo never released to be heard of interests to live another life...
so it's under the covers where not even luv'rs can touch the reasoning motioning the knife...
afraid to enjoy the passing of a friendship before the leaving admits it hasta go...
stuck in a mindset of torment is the needing of an other to show this night can come from below...
wanting a face that needs not to be remembered for it is the one thing not ever trying to flee...
subsiding with the intellect of someone in their own wits remaining the same as a dream...
so the returning finds its way back to the darkness where no one has ever proven on the claim...
it's jus one of those nights where the imagination runs off with the power to to be tamed...

drained free...

cut the bottom of ur heart out n release the weight from ground zero up.... leaving no excuse not to go through with the feel of stares looking at me lost in lusts... it'll be to only way to flush the system of the lil things ur mind clings to... creating a scar worth the motion of luv healed to the cores most sensitivities ready to enjoy a use... freeing ur sexuality from the tingle gone untouched due to choices to remain in thought... causing u the very embrace craved to land in arms so desires can surface evading the stitching of the infamous slipknot... all by a slit to relieve to pressure in which lived on a daily of what you've allowed an other to do to u... swallowed by terms of actions that failed to participate the way words found sound leaving undeniable clues... let it flow from the depths of releasing the clarity of owning self once again so a one night stand won't linger into time wasted... face it with who is to be without the dwelling of old flames still burning those interested enough to tell u u need to let go of the never land bullshit... feel the way ur insides fall from the cling as ur smile rises to the understanding back to a more mental estate that gives hope... knowing u wanna live the way life was meant to cruise through movements finally goin home... in luv with self as a friend within can relate to having u back to rectify moments that make a difference... from behind doors drip n i'll clean the mess so u no not how to go back to everything that went wrong that became the bitterness of significance... come back to the other side of temptation waiting on passion taking shape in the features upon my face... patient enough for u to gather what it is u transform into as you've been gone so longer than as of late... getting on with what has been forgotten for the pain that leaks from ur chest is caused by how it is u think... n ju trust i've had my share of posers pretending to feel on me yet swam in the shallows for the easy escape in a single blink... insert the blade n take control of all the good u say still goes unsettled deep beneath the texture felt as the beginnings of us... do it n sow the incision to there's room for someone like me to enter ur world willing to earn ur trust...

falling into a mental like...

ur lips would mean so much to feel upon mine tight now...
i'm in a rut n i'm not sure which way to go as i feel i cannot be found...
unable to believe i'm not one for someone to want past the hype... 
n ur kiss could do things to correct the way i  sunk into my own mind...
you'd be the reason in how life returns to the norm that went away...
leaving the one i've become to shut out everyone willing to wanna stay...
should u ever enjoy the texture that perks to ur presence i'd prolly die...
freed from this inability to allow emotions from the knees to rise...
ur face in its own is the wait the hearts been craving to accept...
opening the gates to a place that should enjoy what brings out my best...
something i which i haven't done in yrs as time changed more than expressions...
i see u as a friend that might jus wanna cling to every words definition...
having purpose in the sounds of whispers close enough for only us to hear...
listening to breathes carry the caress of temptations accepted without fear...
it's u in the way i'm witness to the satisfaction created in my chest...
mentally able to relate with the understanding of why i'd wanna invest...

if u were to open back up...

who would step from outta nowhere if u truly put yourself out there to be luv'd.?. as u turn around to see them smiling with intent that could make the ground vibe from the hearts pulse touched... would u accept them willing to enjoy life n what is to be so ur mind can ease the fuck back.?. feeling the air move as they reach for u for a moment of closure so fragile u believe the impact... if a face were jus appear into sight as eyes couldn't look away as it's not the features but the inner makings that enhances their depths... is it at all possible u could reason with sighs taking control of ur emotional stand point as thoughts wrap arms around the comfort creating the final outlet... swept to the left so far away from what's taken place until the second u realized they do exist... would u understand what it is u needed to become in a final twist to adapt to the terms of a mental friendship wanting to dig into the texture of lips.?. free to enjoy the beauty of the imagination coming to life as dreams know settling has a different meaning...how would u respond to such a character waiting for u to express to find of who they are as ur tempted to give in to heavy breathing.?. as if everyone else jus took a step in reverse knowing it's not them stuck in ur stare... felt beneath the prints clinging from the slide on fingertips bcuz u cannot help but to care... what if when u looked up they found their way into ur presence after all.?. if u were to open back up forgive yourself for past relations so they had a chance to move to the pitter patters brushing the wings of butterflies that will never retreat nor pause... is ur luv able to grip the skin of what is to lay with u in total peace... feeling even the hype of immaturity's give way from the falling in to come correct in the mingle of a gift from life answering all ur deepest needs... setting down ur picky insistence of mind fuckin everyone along the way to embrace a true friend... descending into the chest as an exception like no other unable to resist the truths lingering in plain sight for the first day of forever actually with comprehending the bend...

we ain't so different...

i suffered to walk away... the same way u were tortured to gain ur mind from enemies plating games... losing a sense of home bcuz that one friend got what we thought was the best pieces broken down into fragments scattered about... tell me i'm lying n i'll never believe a single word that ever comes from ur mouth... i know u remember how it felt bcuz u to are still roaming around solo as fuck... finding the dark a comfort where ur fears drift into solitude's genuine conditions to heal from the betrayal of luv... i too stepped from the doorstep i once referred to as my world n kept on goin... knowing i did not wanna see the light of day without that one smile i enjoyed as i knew noting of what i was doin... emotion was lost in a moment that defined the will that created a reason for relations to play... so don't speak of hate when u too had a roll as i see ur pain that remains until the feeling comes a calling wanting to stay... the memory tries u as it is displayed the way u reside alone... n even though it defeats the purpose we cling to as trust has escaped to motion of eyes taking consideration of another face of a stranger yet to leave... luv isn't gonna come easy so admit what it is ur tone hides as a constant drought missing the way desires feel abandoned in even daydreams...

spare time

it's ok to touch me, jus don't get attached... i don't wanna be owned by the satisfaction of being snatched... no labels means no relations but i can keep my spare time with u... i can't commit to anything until time has prepared facts that transformed a friendship into depths once the body has been put to use... i will not lie, nor will i surrender who i am... my life is to be enjoyed n i don't jus go n jump in to the separation of self looking anything less than a man... but u can feel me from the outside if ur hands are willing to play... if ur body can come to terms with an agreement of there is no plan to gain.... i will not give u promises i cannot keep of a distant future i know nothing of... think of it as having someone close enough in ur spare time to get the sensual sensations from the tenderness released from within the crave of lusts... i can only be what we come together to do... as the sexual intent is jus a lil piece of the deal on the move...u can live ur life n have the freedom in which u need not hand over to me... do as u please n we can rely on the thrills of how we so naturally breathe... awakening to every morning without the wonder of being hurt... single n in true form of self jus looking to allow the lips to adjust the tone of words... i shall not mislead u nor irritate the nerve attached to desires speaking fibs that are untrue... if u feel u can do this speak to me ur most sacred truths... as dirty as u please i'll fulfill ur every fantasy... bring them to life right before ur eyes to show u ur no less than me... someone jus hoping to get along n tap in to the missing pleasures as life that tends to get away from the fingertips... but it's alright if u can't as i'll understand for the heart will eventually wanna feel more the the sliding in of the tip... busting loose the fixation of hormones able to exist with someone of the real world... doin things self cannot as multiples ease from moans as toes curl... i personally jus wanna be put to use in ways that settle the my mind gets the better of me... jus bcuz i believe u to be more than my dreams have so vividly imagined u to be...

for me isn't selfish...

i'm use to being alone... i like it... i can do what i want... it's my life... i get a feeling of anxiety when around others for too long... it bothers me... can only do short spurts... guess i'm living the single dream... i don't enjoy getting attached bcuz attachments end... n the heart confuses the mind... losing hope... all in jus wanting a friend... one in which i found within... looking at me in the mirror that'll be with be as long as i'm alive... so i'm good... living alone is a choice until i decide i want a lil more feeling to give... relations mean nothing due to most cannot agree upon condition... claiming they need so much more that hasn't been earned... damn near demanding the thrill... causing a temper mental outburst bcuz feelings forgot to allow the mind to accept self cannot be owned... as convo lasts about as far as interest loses sense for i'm somewhere else in realities search n find of truths jus paying my own fuckin bills... owing no one an answer to the way i am... yet easy to relate with for my heart holds no hate of differences... so it's jus me... having preferences... choice... my own thoughts... without the mental control to act as a so called man... i live to enjoy the simple things waiting on my time to allow the better of me to be given to what would be an honest loss... that is if it were to ever disappear... transparent like luv rushed to the disbelief of why they left... i'd rather gather myself n roam freely talking to whoever i wish... to hear voices that aren't against me doin my best... for me isn't selfish... it's a way of life due to no ones got me the way i do... moving within my own motions... happy n content to remain loose... my luv for self is strong but never cocky... humble n not once arrogant... truthful to the matters i feel is someone else's business... n i ain't paying anyone to perform services for my money is mine until the day i fall over as life is over spent...

to live n enjoy...

jus stay in ur lane n move with the feel of the flow... things will change as opportunities will arise to give to u a touch of what comes slow...  rush nothing n accept self before the lack of patience that'll let u down... immaturity is a weakness n wants before earning a moment of reason to enjoy certain sounds... curiosities will come around to find a crave in which life refuses to wait... stepping to terms of agreements that ease on in to the belief of friends made... settle not for relations are triggered on different levels where comfort exists... some are a daily presence as others are when the need is felt to release the build up of words upon the lips... none in which are wrong if the the mind can gather itself knowing emotion varies in between eyes that stalk... looking from a distance on the thrill so quiet the heart never feels a pause... yet knowing the excitement is in the attractions set into thin air... hold ur ground for  the day will welcome the sun that brings forth a more unique kinda care... one that fits ur style n collaborates beneath finger on the drift that touched the flesh... if u are willing to hold on to ur mind everything else is nothing more than a stunt to have the one thing that becomes what ur own groove at its best... where not all for living conditions shared as others make it look easy to dive in even if it doesn't work... the key is to tempt self to explore options so the smile creates a feeling before this thing we all share with a smirk... finding self is where it's at... so by all means live a lil n enjoy the sensitivities u wish to adapt...

for mine...

i always knew they'd grow up... find a life of their own.... move on n have what i have in them... as i'd sit n watch choices evolve... yet things happened along the way... time got lost... a decision failed as everything fell apart... shit got hard n it took yrs to regain what was lost... a sense of family was earned bcuz i never gave up... they were worth it... every second i gave to repair a norm for them to call home... their mother was never their friend... n it was i that attempted to have a lil more comfort that didn't work out.... as i was used once the land hit the bottom... talked about as if i was nothing... but they know now of my luv for them that'll never die... as two of the three are under the same roof as myself... it ain't much but the paint makes it feel like we're somewhere else... damn i worked hard n it returned their smiles upon their faces.. the struggled humbled them though... fighting to find a place to enjoy without the chaos as i was trying to fix the mistake... one that hurt us all as i did nothing wrong but trust someone who turned on everyone including me... yet her we are... happy n with a way to evolve into something better away from the ghettos... as one day at a time is never taken for granted in their eyes... they know every moment counts as they do their best to live in it... but their will come a time when they do move on... n it saddens me due to i've already lost a piece of their lives... they're gonna leave... n as alone as i am now with them doin what they need to by staying to myself until i know they are ok... i jus want more time... but i know it must be... the day will come where i am lost once again with no one... i could only wish of magic to take me back to correct what was... although they wouldn't be who they are here with me... snuggled up in their beds... waiting for another day to be one more step further than what they were before they laid down to rest... the silence is nothing now compared to what is about to take place... unable to see them on a daily i know is gonna twist me all over again... n there's nothing i can do but sit n watch them grow into the individuals within that they are to become... having a luv for life i tried to instill in them... with a reason why things are the way they are n an understanding of how the world truly works... so they can handle the obstacles that are to be so they can better themselves in ways i've failed... as that's jus on a financial condition that hopefully will soon change... mine believed in me... even when the bottom rose up n wanted to claim me... they watch me give everything up for i had nothing... n i turned an unbearable situation into something so many take for granted... humble they are with a mindset unlike others... yes i am proud but i am scared to witness them move on in life... it took to long as tears fell from their faces as they were told i didn't care... n among other lies that were uncalled for i fought to show the truth in... i don't wanna live without them yet i accept even i moved outta my own mothers home... at least they'll be more prepared than i was when they're ready to go... leaving behind the pain with joy in their hearts... as i can only hope their mother will see herself as a friend to them she never was... for their benefit to obtain a decent life... as i'll sit night after night wondering of what is to come...

jus go with life...

tell me something i've never heard... i wanna hear u not try to butter me up... i can't take an other who feels the need to repeat words that go unheard... i'm in need of a friend if ur talking of wanting to be luv'd... don't fed me the malarky of trying to be sweet... it only wears off n it loses my interest quick... who u are in true form is what u should become... for once lay down the false impressions n jus click... there's too much time to waste n it's getting shorter as days fall to nights... i'm not impressed with the whole intuition of wanting to be the best... to outdo those before u that failed to comply... i'll figure u out as a fake n decide to rid u from my chest... so say some shit real enough to believe... walk the talk n be who comes from within... everything is mental for the understanding to get to the heart... n i ain't about to drop my guard for u to pretend to jus dive right in... for every action there is an reaction waiting to respond... with patience to witness how it is u come across... taking notice to limits reached jus by being self if u please... u do not havta be this greatest luv story to compete with a past so far behind me it's no longer a loss... as my mother has done her duty bcuz i know how to take care of me... i am not what u think even though i know u know i am different n listening... i will only open up if i can truly find a friend willing to jus go with life... someone who isn't for all the nonsense that leads to the bickering... in true form showing what it takes to make it to yet another fly by of the sun... n depending on who u are will determine my gratitude of ur arrival wishing to stay... the unwanted stranger i know all to well as i do not mind being alone... so take a note as i too am more than an attractive face...

the change of terms...

forever got lost as faces that rested on pillows rolled off...
the changing of features took its toll on the heart so soft...
others laid for a while periodically to share some time...
but most came by to enjoy a moment to unwind...
but it's the few that dug beneath the surface without trying...
as the texture of skin felt as if interest lost the luv that went into hiding...
lifetimes are never spoken of due to words tarnished by emotions...
it's a day by night mingle that's become nonexistent to devotion...
even the bed has gotten used to the chill reaching for my warmth...
listening to the way i cannot sleep in the silence anymore...
yet relations of talk to wanna be held for as long as time allows is the only truth...
collecting moments that never occur as the thought in its own is removed...
smells have not touch the fabrics in which the body lays in quite a while...
there is no lingering of whispers to comfort damn near as if they're outta style...
others have redirected the feeling of hope into the dark...
losing the affect of someone worth the motion of the heart...
people are to quick to go with the crave until they change...
knowing it's who they've always been behind expressions on parade...
forgetting who's who's friend as the emptiness insists on shutting down...
looking around with the lights off wanting to see them define a luv so proud...
they take the desire away from the fingertips on the rotation...
causing thoughts to reconsider an other to create an hesitation...
sleeping solo as mornings gain new life to awaken to the roam...
with a misplaced feeling of where in the fuck is home...
luv'rs played well beneath the sheets when they had the chance...
n fled once they couldn't hide the truth correcting the circumstance...
to give was the lusts that filled their wants instead of needs...
finding the curve of their own smile misdirected their eyes upon me...
so the now is all there is as not many can relate to the conditions of use...
never again will promises live past a memory made to live as seduced...

a thing of the past...

in the memory where the wonder resides is no fucks given... trying to force the feeling of a care as hopes are looking for the lifting... to grip the thoughts of what was to toss them away... the same way self was thrown to the side of the crave... there's no friendship to salvage no matter the hearts attachment... the release has already been able to heal what was once forever imagined... emotion let go some time ago as sitting alone taps into the mind drifts... going back to remind who has become of the betrayal of what not to allow or miss... revealing how the struggle of feeling lost corrected a mindset left to figure out life... onward in motion with days that separated once luv'rs that never made it past the lows defined... the falling fell both in n through the beats that took two meanings... landing on the other end of trust staring at the truths so demeaning... reflecting in moments where the walls cannot hear thoughts... sound chuckles with relief struck by the sound of conversations that were all talk... believing in one thing that stands out as others are attempting to get in... friends don't rush to feel the pleasures without the knowing of who remains within... looking upward to the ceiling not so far outta reach... without the misery of the crush that closes the box affecting the way self breathes... not needing the desires that once over ruled the mental comprehension... luv struck seemed to show the immaturity's of the monster luv creates... lifeless is the one thing unwanted for passion fuels the reason to step away that deflates... causing a raw form of selfishness due to relations were allowed to side step the mind... as a night every now n again comes a calling to remember what it took to shine...

to fall in...

i turned to the pain n truly feel in luv... for it was the only thing that could remind me of who i was.... as there's places in my mind i cannot go... they cause the hurt of knowing the heart has been dethroned... yet the feel of the loneliness gives a comfort that'll never leave... shaking off hands trying to touch the inner me... i've fallen some time ago n found reason to remain without an other in my life... no one ever means what they say like the solitude that will forever hide... deep within the limits of my confines is the torment that saved me from the torture others can cause... as i consider it a lifetime without disruptions in a moment to pause... for it was the mind that snapped outta thoughts that kept me the same as everyone else... once i broke free i began to see a different view that left me as my own trusted help... lost as some say bcuz i refuse to feel what most call luv in their selfish ways... living without a true friend is hard yet i'm content enough to stay in my lane... i gave in to the twist that tore me apart as it showed me a new mindset to become... one in which allows me to be who i am without the betrayals that run...

nowhere to belong...

to feel different is to feel alone in ways self shut out the world released by time... no matter the place or the crowd no situation ever settles the comfort jus right... n being unable to fit in forces the solitude of what's normal is considered to be wrong... having a sense of abandonment within self as if one doesn't belong... . it's like watching everyone play the same rolls that mimic one an other as no one catches on to individuality... yet the seclusion behind closed doors is the escape from their shallow realities... n no one gets the fact that appeal is an attribute to who one is away from the crowd... all they hear is the same ol same as the go along with the trampling of the herds sound... leaving the distance in between the relativity n the mind causing a break in a mental aspect of what's truly what... it's safer to sit with the walls for there's not a single person the heart can trust... witness to the silliness of cycles that reoccur as fast as the head can spin with every other lust... n the feeling of not having but few friends who follow the same paths hurts due to the silence behind doors... locked to give some sort of reason to the fear of becoming mindless to the facts of never wanting the awakening of more... people are unable to see the blindness of societies ignorance n blame those who walk solo for the issues at hand... even though they've been taught well enough to continue the show n are guided by demand... as even on a personal others tend to fill rolls of characters n never have one of their own to respect... n everyone wonders why they cannot find something real to invest...

drifting strangers...

struggling with faces that are wanting to become friends...

not knowing where their traces lead back to nor why they wanna give smiles lent...

why do they need someone of their own in the first place.?.

n how did self wind up in their daydreams as an unforgettable name.?.

what happened to the prior life before they've found me.?.

with broken desires left in the hearts intent to correct the flow of its stream...

the confusion is unsettling to think someone actually cares...

as the healing has had an affect on the intrusion so sudden it's jus not fair...

to rush the chest with emotion so willing to be used...

who comes as an open book reading pages of devotion as if nothing ever were abused.?.

it's frightening to feel such things the mind cannot understand...

defining to triggers that refuse intruders emotion cannot withstand...

the mind believes pain awaits the circumstances yet to be one has no cure for...

as time is needed to decide if depths are real enough to want more...

looking in to eyes that speak of how nothing until now ever worked out...

fishing in the tears unused to simply breathe for a moment without sound...

seems friendly gestures are taken into consideration by means of attractions guaranteed...

damn near creating a wave of flutters trampling as if passion in a stampede...

the fear of wonder of a past of emotional origins unknown resists the open hand...

why did it not last n what is the proper questions to be answered to make a stand.?,

thoughts emerge upon the tongues tuck waiting to be heard...

as curiosities worth stings the feel of an other that lingers into view as self lurks...

puzzled by the interest in actions craving to get closer than air...

leaning on an attachment so soft the skin admires the reason to dare...

bringing to the surface of ones own needs to touch the tenderness of scars worn...

who is it that stands in the way to be seen as happiness willing to strip as if in a porn.?.

talking of visions before like can even deliver the reach landing in luv...

is it jus another pretender passing time on the sliver of lips kissed demanding trust.?.

in which form does the visual take in to effect of a stranger breaking in.?.

n how does self decipher the truth if the dive is extent of the swim within.?.

to jus allow a creature of sorts to roam freely through the inner makings afraid...

not of what could be but of the insistence of the dash to get to the natural being unscathed...

better off alone or nah.?.

being ok with being alone is cool until one needs an other to talk to... as living in solitude will make the heart wonder who in the fuck mind is talking to... silence will turn the single life into an empty place sitting alone... ok for the most part but wondering where that friend is to come on home... then the thoughts kick in of not being able to get up n go anywhere without telling someone where self is going... as the process is like fuck it if that's the case for them to know what self is constantly doing... yet the feel of pillows change when there's a body close... having that comfort through the nights to help the sleep take an affect worth the emotional dose... as the everyday thing kicks in as there's no time for self to be have a moment to do as one pleases jus ruins the mood... thinking maybe moving slow can get used to the feel of being around someone on a regular n not wanting to run from within the same room... feelings dip when relations claim the way quiet nights cater to the comfort of not wanting to be hurt.... forcing the drift that creates the loneliness in which becomes a way of life not believing in words... but to hear a tongue whisper ones name as chuckles form smile in the dark... oh the moments that give joy jus feel different depending on where ones mind goes at the sounds of alarms... waking to mornings in routines that tend to get old as fuck... never truly finding anyone worth it is the culprit of the twist that keeps desires clinging to the crave of luv... lost when there's no light to see a face laying with eyes closed... but who is that friend that'll never fade from the enjoyment as days into sleeping habits together doze.?. after spending most of life feeling like there's no one to share memories with that have all but been forgotten... there's a connection between the head n the chest that gets to plotting... listening to the walls echo sounds from the imaginations grips... deliberately playing with the notion of does self want to interrupt an other out there doing what they feel is best for them as this type of nonsense never touches the lips... in the asylum locked away from the word a selfishness becomes of ways set in time... knowing if self doesn't break the cycle there will be nothing to remember but the bitterness that give reason to the why's... yet why can't one remain on their own n be as content as they choose.?. seems the balance of who it is is the ultimate decision that determines depths on the loose...

why rush luv?

why me? if i were the one u say fits ur mood.

isn't that what it is? living in the moment of loosening roots.

who am i to someone like u? wanted for how log before u can't find what u seek.

i'm no fool. the rush u are so eager to fall tells on ur lonely needs.

i am no hero nor a saint. i breathe the same as u the fluctuates craving a home worth goin.

so what is this thought u have behind ur eyes? where do i comfort how you've been torn?

u make the convincing sound to easy. hearing ur words bring me to life.

thing is i've already fell from everything u claim. more than once lips beat u to the hearts hype.

failing to deliver the goods. free is what u say i make u feel as i've done nothing to earn it.

i'm but one individual u are yet to get to know. n i watch u fall into the motion of relations grip.

wondering why i cannot give away my luv. causing issues that need not be.

moving so fast heads cannot spin quick enough. is it u jus wanna fulfill the fantasies u dream?

maybe taught to give before u figured there is a like? without me u jus can't be u.

i get it but u have no mental approach to recon with. it's the same ol shit looking for an endless abuse.

so what the fuck is it i'm supposed to be? catering to the drift of some sort of lust.

do u truly believe we'd make it far without easing in? seems to me r looking to break the chains rust.

possibly gone too long on ur own. wishing for someone to capture the untamed beast.

losing pieces of yourself the further u get in time. trying to escape the solitude by any means.

hoping it's me that crosses the lines as not jus another enemy. u can tell me if i'm right.

it keep me from assuming why u attempt this quickened splash. running from the darkness of the mind.

it's a people thing...

some live on the legal side pointing fingers at the others fighting the system... thinking they're better somehow jus bcuz they go along with rules said to be law... as the lower end of society in the middle of poverty lacks the mental understanding of how the guidelines are for everyone to accept n adapt the flow of the world... rebelling over culture or levels of classification in which creates the hate of differences through racial interaction they do not witness as a flaw... people cater to the selfish behavior the same way the system is of commerce wit no real morals involved for profit is the topic of discussion... all a part of the same way of life with a choice to oppose or or accept the admiralty law of the sea to play some sort of god... on the higher pay scales individuals become ugly n inhumane by judgement for someone needs to fill the cracks of the ghettos... causing the poor to resent them yet not take the initiative to overcome what one is born into n claim for future generations a more comfortable lifestyle away from the struggle as it seems fair to say, odd... mindsets have been taught by not only the government but by those who've abandoned the reason to do for self or others who feed on the ignorant to survive... even the media tells the youth who haven't thought for themselves what the mass is supposed to be... as the paper trail grows by giving money to the rich through commercialized holidays that were began with the sliver of the tongues lies... n the population believes there's something wrong but refuse to dig in n find the truths so their own minds can be freed... n no ones allowed to be themselves due to ancient standards that control the world like religious beliefs that have shed more blood than any other organized establishment could ever do... it's twisted to think the wars are over terrorists when it's the u.s. military that's under contract to destroy countries who oppose the banking system for it needs supreme rule... n for the few that see it we're called names n belittled the same way they've been designed to protect the same nonsense that keeps them enslaved through financial gains by theft of taxation... seems the ones who's with it become loners in their own watching this display to ruin humanity like nit witted fools... hating the differences that make us as beautiful as each morning sky that changes never to repeat the exact visual... insane is what the final conclusion states by everyone allowing the control to move their so called free lives the do not matter... their jus entities on paper made to mimic real flesh n blood as if an account made for us all to live dept free is who we are... we've been manipulated by the districts that teach us from a young age to obey the chain of command to work up the ladder... feeding the same disruption that divides the people in many ways looking at one an other to be the problem at hand... there's no accountability bcuz a man made god took the trust n allowed minds to manipulate free will to be... we are what's wrong here as our own destruction is said to be a profit that proves the point of no one stands accused of their own actions... so i stay to myself n reason with those who can relate a step aside from the materialistic things put before us to earn that lose value once the purchase is over priced n retrieved...

Jus don't pass me by...

Don't tell me u want me with ur eyes n not act upon it... Words can become movements as sensitivities reach the lips... Creating an image in ur head to lay without the feel of an other in the open where we touch... Intend on me pleasing u without limits that give to lusts wanting to be luv'd... Don't be afraid to speak to begin what can be said... Hearing more than sound coming from within what is to be fed... There's only once answer to obtain the satisfaction u seek... N I'll go to great lengths to fulfill the desires u so fucking need... Don't hold back as the air itself wanted to listen to the display of emotion it can carry... Reaching for me as ur moans cling to my face being buried... In a dark room where silence gathers the beating of hearts... Sex so good it makes its mark in the middle of passions spark... Don't shy away from eyes catching the shapes of shadows upon the walls... Mimicking the fearless consistency of luv'rs in a moment to fall.... Deep behind the nights willingness to feel alive... To want it is to crave the minds wonders so fine... Don't refuse yourself the one tingle that will set u free.... I'm no enemy but a servant to ur own daydreams... Ready for u to use me at well shall perform... For u I am depths surfacing to reveal our sexual comforts as the same norm...

as u are...

who is it ur future depends on.?. in which character did u come across that changed the way u perform.?. am i a lil too late to feel ur best reach.?. what voice do u hear late at night calling to the way u breathe.?. listening to whispers that recall tones that forever changed... feeling lost at times behind the tumblers click to pretend ur safe... where does ur mind go when ur alone.?. deep down inside the thoughts u call home... what switched up n where'd u wind up.?. in a state of mind with a heart lingering in between luv's... is it cold enough to want the next big thing.?. how far down will it take to touch the monster in need.?. is there a trap door jus in case i feel the ruins wanna escape.?. n are u numb from the games.?. shaken by the tail of the snake that squeezed ur emotion to it's final calling... do u believe u can drift again as into someone you'd find yourself falling.?. digging in to yet another chest to run from in the now u helped create before ur eyes... why is it u think you've lost the flavor of luv's burn naked in the silence of the high.?. will u ever not hate the desire chased in the closing of arms warn in the earnings of hope.?. who are u to judge anyone with the same issues deliberately provoked... torn n on the hush of lips that expect to taste the truths opened up when u hide... waiting on an other to spill their pains out for u to relate before u tell the reasoning's of ur makings gone blind... when is it u figure to adapt to life on the move where here is all there ever is.?. leaving the torment to the savage that has control of ur own grips... don't u wanna breath prior to the final call closing off the show.?. who is it that has came into u r life n has taken u from those flexible moans.?. 

if i ain't busy...

lemme know when ur walls collapse... then maybe if i ain't busy, i'll be back... i'm not waiting if u aren't ready... jus be broken away from my comfy... we all are going through our own decisions... making it up as we go further into admissions... luv will not come from two opposing phases ever... so unless we're on the same page u n i are gonna be a never... i am not what you've known... n i have no sympathy to heal ur selfish throne... we're human n i resist to get involved with someone who can not move on... u won't catch me awaiting u to catch up n rush the process in which u often mourn... u jus don't have enough time in to keep up... allow ur mind to let go of what was... you'll come to see when that split second wakes on up n tells u now... n if i ain't busy, i'll be back to show u that wow...

better my life...

help me better my life... then we can talk of luv from likes... friends is a coming out to play... so every phase must become of names... to hear ur tongue speak in ways curiosities lurk... to know of the intent on ur own having worth... there's a more mature desire that fills my void... as passion has no weakness for the coming n going... stick around n get to know a lifestyle if we share the same pleasures to be... from the mental devotion of use to the sexual excitements that have no limits not to believe... face me with the passing on the sun... as nights wrap even when it rains to feel the rush... slacking on any level isn't gonna be in ur favor here... attachments ain't shit if they ain't real enough to live without fear... there's no turning away to save self for i mean u no harm... n i seriously do not have time for another wicked heart... i'm somewhere else as life touches me daily to my opened core... comforting my piece of mind knowing i have no troubles to endure... step on up n learn a lil about yourself if u feel u can coexist with me... or show me ur someone i refuse to go on without in moments to be made in our reality... get on with the condition in which u reside... if we're one in the same we shall answer the questions of why's... i'm tired of listening to words make up things to say... jus better my life or stand aside for an other to gain what they can claim...

my own sunshine...

in between is one of the better mindsets to be...
distant from the expressions of luv...
allowing thoughts to gather self without dreams...
taking in life n driven to enjoy the musts...
on the rotation in the middle of smiles...
able to live n do as self pleases trusts...
no longer digging a hole for the past...
keeping memories that make the walk fun...
jus me is all at the moment is needed to live...
feet planted n moving on my way...
watching others get theirs to fill their greed...
off to nowhere in particular goes my days...
idled out n smooth like the wind that blows...
feeling the reason in which i reside...
mind on point n emotion willing to wait on growth...
talking about say lovie...
as easy as keeping to self on any given day...
here is the now of what is to become...
with unattended tears to kill my moods swing upon my face....
in the mix of singles fighting to be luv'd...
i sit free from the terms on relations...
old fashion ways that make no sense to the way i live my own...
awaiting a more unique kinda situation...

misery has a friend...

call it what u will... the tension in ur heart... we know... once in relations with u it gonna be the same ol thing from the start... jumping in to the emotional restriction... where only friends can go... assuming there's something wrong with everyone else... unable to see ur need for an other to complete the void u do not have with ur own inner moans... jus tell it like it is... the way the tongue moves like waves on the shoreline of the imaginative mind... u of all people display warning signs... there's no balance as passion fuels the immaturity's acting out... convo gets weak after the expressions are all used up stuck in the middle of eyes... a shallow surfer u are of the attraction upon the skin... living for the moment of the next best thing... i need not lie of the sense in which u live... seeking attention in ur own broken ribs... not having a mental stability that drives others away... depths are free compared to a night to fall in to whoever is willing to go on a ride... as fingers point with lips that tarnish the ends of what was once it's all said n done... jus bcuz u rushed the touch beneath the visual effect moving on to the next best thing like a high... addicted u are to the feeling on being wanted... does being alone scare u.?. afraid to become yourself before accepting someone worth it in to ur life... i know the exact way desires will slip into a groove... giving anything to have the need of that one to wrap yourself around... showing birds to this world if anyone attempts to stop ur dream... saddest thing is u hop from one to the next best thing carrying the baggage into their lives... n honestly u create an atmosphere that makes it very difficult to breathe... u believe in fairy tails that have taken over ur thought process n it is not ok... ur never gonna find luv awaiting u come mornings life... halting u from evolving on ur own to relate to the mirror of u got u n anything more is an addition jus hoping for the next best thing... it's who has become of u in ur time of wanting to be wife'd... gather ur thoughts n realize that is a legal matter... the final piece that brings true friends together for a lifestyle goin in... step on back n leave us be n round yourself out.... there's an eruption that doesn't havta be taken out on us shaking our own wits....

picking out flaws...

i can't find it.... consistency never lasts... joy tends to evade the feel.... after so long the thrill becomes the past... attempts are forsaken... the heart can't find the reason... n life continues on... changing with the climates seasons... i jus don't know if it's someone else... it might jus be me... seems i've cater to the feel of pain so long...  jus maybe i refuse to get on with reality... unable to connect even though i try... yet it's the details that give signs i do not believe in... as the lessons were self provoked... new faces smile like it's them because of me they grin... watching me resist the feel of getting so close... finding  an issue to point out... breaking down intent through realities prior to them coming around to remain a stranger... not wanting to wait on time to remove an other as a luv'r who has their head in the clouds... looking for a drifter worth the emotion given away... needing someone in a more mental state to emerge from the crowds eye view... jus  passing by as a feature to get wrapped up in relations that soothe the mind... i fail every time i witness the details tell on weaknesses as heartbeats move... losing a piece of what could've been if i haven't have already felt its wrath... as the particles within shift to adjust to the comfort of change once again... dissecting others to be alone is what i think is the end if i cannot redefine who i am... i can't find my peace to willingly devote actions to flaws i've see as on to many fans... confiding in trust that never existed in the depths of honest use... so i pick n choose terms of what i can live with n what i'm simply afraid of...no matter if it's a luv'd one or them i wait patiently for that glitch to speak up n say, nah... like i'm the only one to reserve the torment we all go through... needing more than a tongue to release what awaits the one i luv... an individual healed n ready to accomplish that raw intellect goin blah blah blah...

one time...

one time... never to be the same...
absent like the space in between the lines gone without being obtained...
one time... the chance to create life to be...
to feel palms in gropes felt in the heart of jus enough to think...
one time... as once is all that's needed...
enjoying the sounds of laughter ricocheting off walls as the repeat of redid...
one time... a willingness to evolve n live...
opened to a worlds possibilities to accept change in ways lessons give...
one time... caught up in what is on a daily...
desiring a phase that does more than sticks to the mindset not jus as of lately...
one time... loosened to become a movement...
to go for the feels that make up the mind in moments rectifying defiant...
one time... gaining self as a friend...
believing in the truce that settles the peace within differences lent...
one time... for the findings to reach...
coming to life away from mirrors that pull on the twist of pleads...
one time... grips the understanding in eyes...
watching motion swing bodies in place from time to time...
one time... allows the breathing to sigh...
resulting in pain caused by luv to reflect the reason of the hearts design...
one time... taking the stroll so self knows...
able to look back with a smile to recollect  a version that chances growth...
one time... before the end result...
wanting the thrill to continue so memories aren't jus a mental pause...
one time... that's all it takes to heal...
to be intrigued of how there's phases the define what there is about us that is real...

F...L...

Fuck luv...

I'd rather be liked...

What kinda friend are u.?.

Where would I fit in to ur life.?.

On ur mind or in ur heart.?.

N which would lose the comfort first.?.

I'd jus want to know for myself...

I for me has a worth...

Sex before emotion n after how we relate...

There's no telling of what emotion becomes...

I'm a one day at a time kinda individual...

N no my heart is not on the run...

I've jus matured to reason with life...

N I'mma enjoy it without the gender rolls...

I'm me n ur u...

Don't be so bold...

I don't wanna hurt u is why I stay to myself...

I jus wanna get along...

Maybe in time tap into the want of something else...

I jus wanna feel like I belong...

So let's keep it real from the beginnings of ur recent ends...

Leave ur past where it stays...

Jus show me who comes from within...

N side by side at some point we will remain...

If there's more to the same lifestyle lived...

Then the opening can swing what is...

As the now is what's up for grabs...

Sitting behind closed doors wondering where ur at...