the regret of betrayals finest

takin me back to the secrecy that guides within these words.
tired of the trusts that break down mid point n unheard.
retractin that level of comfort no one seems to understand.
as out lays here no longer screamin in silences stance.
worth is absent of the comprehension as of a ghost.
done sends to believe it's real yet can't be witness to the host.
givin reason beyond a selfish change played with fake smiles.
luvn for the moment til ones truth is seen with no style.
class has no relevance in due time walkin side by side.
it all ends in pain rippin imaginary holes beneath the cries.
so inward I go to release all but verbal sound expressed.
there's no meanin to dreams that fall into realities best.
jus memories that won't fade from the walks off the mind.
countin to the past that afterwards to be the struggles climb.
unforgivin the lack of patience noticin honesty misunderstood.
solo crawlin inward I resist Luvs inability to show where it stood.
turnin away n claimin pure emotions spent to be the one.
feelin as if I never mattered to a set of eyes on the run.
it hurts to open up to desire that lasts only for a brief moment.
standin in between my all n the door that winds up bolted.
left rattlin the sense of confusion lost in my unguided head.
s hands felt what it is I am in the way I fail to find my bed.
n oh the paths that disappeared had so much promise.
as luvrs change faces in shape yet appear as the same twist.
I believe it's me that's undesirable in the way I live.
broken within the dust deterioratin as I'm the one never missed.
standin in the mirrors stare lookin through what was real.
I've seen me n what remains is someone I do not shed a tear.
a fool so easily replaced by another takin my place.
stealin what I've earned attemptin to admit what is felt n erased.
in ways that jus may be considered to deep to endure the knife.
there's no depth to be found beneath a grins delight.
torn to heal proofs ability to stay willingly is the need.
yet here I am spaekin a muted tongues tragedies seed.
planted in letters tellin the redirection of a mans uselessness.
inside out I turn on pages to fill a void with an unfulfilled happiness.
as each line clings to elsewhere bein homes ungrateful ache.
in the spotlight alone as chuckles come forth to the stage.
there is no once upon a time as the happy endin is non existin.
jus an endless battle of provin self to the resistin.
those who can not seem to find me wantin what I had.
n the armor has thickened to protect what's left repairin the dents.
cuz I do not wanna experience a new disappointment.
I'm goin in to settle the loses that r afraid of the corruption.
frightened from bein let go when I somehow stand alone.
I fade now into the one place no one seems to wanna keep as their own.
I'm nothin but a has been after bein madly in luv.
I stood in n out in the work that around up under the gun.
dead to the capability of bein someone's everything.
cuz they all speak in identical tones vibrating.
this is me now in the flesh in which ink spilled spills into form.
back to the regret of betrayals finest settin me free from the norm.....