you don't know the love I have for you.
as I was forced to walk away with the truth.
unusable to you as I was the one that was there.
I seen who I thought you were and I dared to care.
only if you coulda seen how your one broke for you.
in the dark aching alone, the loneliness knew.
you don't know how heavy life became.
knowin you weren't there to claim my name.
the live is as real as the void here walking solo.
yet protection was needed for I was your bozo.
I fell down as the up side stood on my chest.
crushed and shattered as you somehow lost interest.
n and I was the one that snapped from the abuse.
accused of what went wrong in every excuse.
blame formed as the shape of my face.
but telling the truth is what you can't stand to taste.
it doesn't even matter as you linger in my thoughts.
living without the comfort in realities tossed.
you have a life to live as I just ain't your cup of tea.
and you'll never know the unforgettable pain you bein left in my dreams.
unable to come to you I pretend one day I will hold you again.
as I'm unable to step to you is the resistance that plagues this man.
but if I were to attempt to tell you what's left behind.
would my remains be buried before you turned to my pine?
I'll always remain always in luv only with you!
thinking what we could of put to use.
life will never be the same but it's shshaping up.
such n and such, at times it's a little to much.
not that it matters as I was so easy to replace.
as it's sad that I have to forever miss your face.
for me to feel safe hidden from my only.
fucking life has been and it's gonna be so fucking lonely.
I never believed in things that were meant to be.
til the day I took your hand and it set me free.
I'll be the reason we had to end.
and why I lost faith in a irreplaceable friend.
the burden is mine to carry as your a different kind of free.
til I parish with the paranoia of others to coand flee.
I know it's a waste to tap at the unfortunate words.
as you gave up prior to knowing your true worth.
"MY LITTLE PIECE OF .COM"
Friday, February 27, 2015
the other side
lemme show myself before ur eyes.
stayin in frame comin from within my mind.
I'm down to stand in ur peripheral.
next to u opened up without the subliminal.
I could be in ur face tasting ur lips.
gettin lost with u on the other side of this flip.
more than what I appear in plain sight.
no one could possibly luv u the way I might.
chance is the only opportunity waiting.
how does u n I sound to u as I cling?
to ur every movement in a sway ever so close.
in a celebration making toast after toast.
ooh for I would luv to lay with u on rainy days.
safe from any other that'll never do, unafraid.
lean in for a lifetime so ur best friend can live.
we jus might connect the moment we kiss.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
how soon before its too late
where am I gonna hurt tomorrow?
once the day ends of what follows.
a masterpiece in the makings of the remains.
solving the mysterious taste of pain.
in which state of mind will I hurt?
when moments fade again n turn.
as the future becomes the past.
finding emotions abandoning the task.
when will thoughts implode behind the face?
how soon before its too late?
as the smile forgets it's shape.
blaming the heart for Luvs escape.
who's first to fall from a releasing grip?
set loose in times unforgettable twist.
engaging with images losing focus.
trying to regain that sense so hopeless.
remembering the pointless acts of selfishness.
where will I wind up in the other side?
peeking in the distances abandoned fight.
in a different life changing scenery.
briefly expressing the frustration of hostility.
in no mans land accepting the truths.
all cuz someone else lost sight of use.
what will define me in the unfamiliar?
I find the thought extremely peculiar.
falling in to a walk away from insanity.
with character in a battle of the possibilities.
where is it gonna be I stand in frame?
redirecting the resurrection of my own name.
who's eyes will I die in tomorrow?
enduring the last day of luv in sorrow.....
once the day ends of what follows.
a masterpiece in the makings of the remains.
solving the mysterious taste of pain.
in which state of mind will I hurt?
when moments fade again n turn.
as the future becomes the past.
finding emotions abandoning the task.
when will thoughts implode behind the face?
how soon before its too late?
as the smile forgets it's shape.
blaming the heart for Luvs escape.
who's first to fall from a releasing grip?
set loose in times unforgettable twist.
engaging with images losing focus.
trying to regain that sense so hopeless.
remembering the pointless acts of selfishness.
where will I wind up in the other side?
peeking in the distances abandoned fight.
in a different life changing scenery.
briefly expressing the frustration of hostility.
in no mans land accepting the truths.
all cuz someone else lost sight of use.
what will define me in the unfamiliar?
I find the thought extremely peculiar.
falling in to a walk away from insanity.
with character in a battle of the possibilities.
where is it gonna be I stand in frame?
redirecting the resurrection of my own name.
who's eyes will I die in tomorrow?
enduring the last day of luv in sorrow.....
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
he lost his girl
they say he went nuts.
fell off his rocker with bulletproof guts.
playin every woman in sight.
all cuz she walked outta his life.
truth be told he ran outta his own mind.
leaped into endless time.
without her he simply gave up.
turnin to lust.
takin what was left full throttle.
never once tapin the bottle.
for he accepted his reality.
luv walked away with his dreams.
as he invented a new kinds mad.
facin the never endin fact.
he spent all he had at once.
cuz that's all he needed to punch.
outta the emotional disturbance.
hurt for a lifetime in his stance.
cracked to drip to be free.
in his mind he was released.
twisted n aimed at the world.
for he lost his girl.
but if u were to see him today.
u couldn't tell he was afraid.
of what luv has the offer.
cuz he couldn't get any softer.
standin so close next to her.
as his memory will never be a blur.
he remembers for her knows.
she was the one that turned him cold.
n it's insane to think a man could live that way.
but all he ever wanted was for her to stay.
never wantin to luv another.
even though it's over...........
fell off his rocker with bulletproof guts.
playin every woman in sight.
all cuz she walked outta his life.
truth be told he ran outta his own mind.
leaped into endless time.
without her he simply gave up.
turnin to lust.
takin what was left full throttle.
never once tapin the bottle.
for he accepted his reality.
luv walked away with his dreams.
as he invented a new kinds mad.
facin the never endin fact.
he spent all he had at once.
cuz that's all he needed to punch.
outta the emotional disturbance.
hurt for a lifetime in his stance.
cracked to drip to be free.
in his mind he was released.
twisted n aimed at the world.
for he lost his girl.
but if u were to see him today.
u couldn't tell he was afraid.
of what luv has the offer.
cuz he couldn't get any softer.
standin so close next to her.
as his memory will never be a blur.
he remembers for her knows.
she was the one that turned him cold.
n it's insane to think a man could live that way.
but all he ever wanted was for her to stay.
never wantin to luv another.
even though it's over...........
Monday, February 23, 2015
twice the one over n done
did u feel it?
that tension in ur grip.
I jus let go.
curious to what the future holds.
I knew it was comin.
it's not inappropriate to say I felt u runnin.
since the day our luv was born.
I was outta my norm.
so how's it feel?
to get to someone so real.
yet, hold that thought.
I don't wanna know what it costs....
you've been released.
so one last time, please.
stand down.
I'm no longer ur clown.
settle in ur nerve where I got lost.
where ur heart grew frost.
feel my fingertips from a distance.
cuz ur presence has a resistance.
not wanted nor felt.
ur deck isn't full for how it's dealt.
taste me never comin back.
you've been flushed is a fact.
toodles to who I thought u were.
cuz this is the end of words......
that's ran outta time holdin on.
like a fool, so mourn.
ur alone in this world the way u luv.
n it don't matter to trust.
hold on to ur own hand.
darlin u jus lost this damn good man.
steppin back in a forward motion.
swallow ur emotions.
if u even have any left.
ur empty would be my bet.
but I jus don't seem to care.
funny huh, how that moment bared.
scared away the best one for u.
guess ur negligence spoke the truths.
back some time ago.
as u laid up in my heads flow.
you've been found n plucked.
go live with the reality u fucked.
for my ears r def to ur tone.
ur twice the one over n done.
a third time needs not to happen.
there's no since in relapsin....
chasin u left me broken.
lost n hopin.
u don't know what it took.
to simply stop writin our book.
yet, letting go feels like the safest thing to do.
who knew?
you'd be the one after all this time.
I never wanna claim as mine.
go live cuz I'm at a loss of luvn words....
u forgot about my worth.
can u feel it?
the end of the bullshit.
finalizin the grasps freedom.
I don't wanna battle ur so called demons.
remember my face if u must.
I'm no longer ur crutch.
u splintered me in half.
n I'm leavin u in the past........
ur no kinda woman at all.
placin blame when ur the one with the flaws.
odd.
as my heads shakin in a nod.
yeah I've opened my palms to life.
while ur still in fairy land as u hide.
behind a smile that's lies to intensions.
so long n jus in case I forgot to mention.
think of me as if I don't exist.
u left me dyin in the middle of luv not once missed....
u don't even deserve a fuck u.
n that's the honest truth.
I'm gonna keep it real.
u molded a man of steel.
that's the only thing ur good for.
u see, u don't own me no more.
u weren't there to see the effect u had.
I was infected n deprived goin mad.
bye bye now.
I got shit to do n another to luv out loud.....
that tension in ur grip.
I jus let go.
curious to what the future holds.
I knew it was comin.
it's not inappropriate to say I felt u runnin.
since the day our luv was born.
I was outta my norm.
so how's it feel?
to get to someone so real.
yet, hold that thought.
I don't wanna know what it costs....
you've been released.
so one last time, please.
stand down.
I'm no longer ur clown.
settle in ur nerve where I got lost.
where ur heart grew frost.
feel my fingertips from a distance.
cuz ur presence has a resistance.
not wanted nor felt.
ur deck isn't full for how it's dealt.
taste me never comin back.
you've been flushed is a fact.
toodles to who I thought u were.
cuz this is the end of words......
that's ran outta time holdin on.
like a fool, so mourn.
ur alone in this world the way u luv.
n it don't matter to trust.
hold on to ur own hand.
darlin u jus lost this damn good man.
steppin back in a forward motion.
swallow ur emotions.
if u even have any left.
ur empty would be my bet.
but I jus don't seem to care.
funny huh, how that moment bared.
scared away the best one for u.
guess ur negligence spoke the truths.
back some time ago.
as u laid up in my heads flow.
you've been found n plucked.
go live with the reality u fucked.
for my ears r def to ur tone.
ur twice the one over n done.
a third time needs not to happen.
there's no since in relapsin....
chasin u left me broken.
lost n hopin.
u don't know what it took.
to simply stop writin our book.
yet, letting go feels like the safest thing to do.
who knew?
you'd be the one after all this time.
I never wanna claim as mine.
go live cuz I'm at a loss of luvn words....
u forgot about my worth.
can u feel it?
the end of the bullshit.
finalizin the grasps freedom.
I don't wanna battle ur so called demons.
remember my face if u must.
I'm no longer ur crutch.
u splintered me in half.
n I'm leavin u in the past........
ur no kinda woman at all.
placin blame when ur the one with the flaws.
odd.
as my heads shakin in a nod.
yeah I've opened my palms to life.
while ur still in fairy land as u hide.
behind a smile that's lies to intensions.
so long n jus in case I forgot to mention.
think of me as if I don't exist.
u left me dyin in the middle of luv not once missed....
u don't even deserve a fuck u.
n that's the honest truth.
I'm gonna keep it real.
u molded a man of steel.
that's the only thing ur good for.
u see, u don't own me no more.
u weren't there to see the effect u had.
I was infected n deprived goin mad.
bye bye now.
I got shit to do n another to luv out loud.....
bout time
seems I awakened n my fantasies wore off.
I failed my dreams chasin the wrong luv.
ruined everything around me in the blink of an eye.
as I shake my head repeatedly ask myself y.
I slipped beneath reality n found myself lost.
n who I was had paid the ultimate cost.
paid in full til the end of sleep faded away.
thru my mind I was in my own lil world.
n I thought I had the perfect dream girl.
yet as I woke she wasn't nowhere to be found.
I figure it was a comma that took me down.
but to hear it be said it was as real as air.
n I can only remember pieces so unfair.
I sit now tryin to stand back up as the man I was.
as I believe luv was disguised as a familiar lust.
the game turned on me when I turned on it.
laughin I can't help but to think, I'm sick.
bout time I got what I had comin my way.
I may be rattled but the dog is here to stay.
let in from the backyard is a literal term.
I've have much to teach of what I've learned....
I failed my dreams chasin the wrong luv.
ruined everything around me in the blink of an eye.
as I shake my head repeatedly ask myself y.
I slipped beneath reality n found myself lost.
n who I was had paid the ultimate cost.
paid in full til the end of sleep faded away.
thru my mind I was in my own lil world.
n I thought I had the perfect dream girl.
yet as I woke she wasn't nowhere to be found.
I figure it was a comma that took me down.
but to hear it be said it was as real as air.
n I can only remember pieces so unfair.
I sit now tryin to stand back up as the man I was.
as I believe luv was disguised as a familiar lust.
the game turned on me when I turned on it.
laughin I can't help but to think, I'm sick.
bout time I got what I had comin my way.
I may be rattled but the dog is here to stay.
let in from the backyard is a literal term.
I've have much to teach of what I've learned....
Friday, February 20, 2015
regained
I leaned in n I told her, I will always luv u...
as I turned n walked out the our homes front door.
I had to let her go cuz I need a lil bit more.
thinkin feet don't steer my wrong n ever bring me back here.
I had to let go of the way she luvd in which is what I feared.
the games she played with my heart simply wasn't right.
sleepin on the edge of the bed every single night.
waitin on the descend for another to take my place.
n it didn't take her long to forget my unforgettable face.
I was dyin in desperation jus to be her only one.
standin as the man I was in her eyes goin completely numb.
she forced me to step out on the luv I luvd to feel.
as gettin over her since has been a lil to real.
I often wonder y she did me the way she did.
as I lay around the midnight hours under the grid.
carelessly she ignored the never endin emotion I spent.
the countless times I endured every blow as her smile bent.
n its been some time without her in my life.
but I recall the day I stood my ground n regained my mind.
she was no good for me the way I'd give n do what it took.
abused n overlooked standin in luv I didn't give her a second look.
all she seen was me driftin from her touch.
there's was nothin I coulda done but go on the muted hush.
Losin her before I wanted to only gave me reasonin with the truth.
as I regained what I lost in the comfort of me bein true.
she had me in any way she seen fit to do with me what she pleased.
yet all she ever needed was someone to blame so she could be free.
I know she thinks she's gotten the best of me as I got to off my knees.
but she's lost her welcomein the depths she captured in my dreams.
unable in a childish faze she couldn't maintain.
as the man in me never wanted to but eventually gave her away.
if I could go back n say anything else the day I quit.
I'd lean in jus to tell her, forget that I exist.
cuz I lost the meanin of me standin so close to her.
n of it, I'll never again speak another word.....
as I turned n walked out the our homes front door.
I had to let her go cuz I need a lil bit more.
thinkin feet don't steer my wrong n ever bring me back here.
I had to let go of the way she luvd in which is what I feared.
the games she played with my heart simply wasn't right.
sleepin on the edge of the bed every single night.
waitin on the descend for another to take my place.
n it didn't take her long to forget my unforgettable face.
I was dyin in desperation jus to be her only one.
standin as the man I was in her eyes goin completely numb.
she forced me to step out on the luv I luvd to feel.
as gettin over her since has been a lil to real.
I often wonder y she did me the way she did.
as I lay around the midnight hours under the grid.
carelessly she ignored the never endin emotion I spent.
the countless times I endured every blow as her smile bent.
n its been some time without her in my life.
but I recall the day I stood my ground n regained my mind.
she was no good for me the way I'd give n do what it took.
abused n overlooked standin in luv I didn't give her a second look.
all she seen was me driftin from her touch.
there's was nothin I coulda done but go on the muted hush.
Losin her before I wanted to only gave me reasonin with the truth.
as I regained what I lost in the comfort of me bein true.
she had me in any way she seen fit to do with me what she pleased.
yet all she ever needed was someone to blame so she could be free.
I know she thinks she's gotten the best of me as I got to off my knees.
but she's lost her welcomein the depths she captured in my dreams.
unable in a childish faze she couldn't maintain.
as the man in me never wanted to but eventually gave her away.
if I could go back n say anything else the day I quit.
I'd lean in jus to tell her, forget that I exist.
cuz I lost the meanin of me standin so close to her.
n of it, I'll never again speak another word.....
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
words don't seem to be enough to break through.
n bein felt is missin the point of what should be so smooth.
at a loss on the downfall off the backend has begun.
shortly easin outta what it was I was I meant to u now goin numb.
the condition I'm in is defusin me from ur angles end.
ur forgettin the purpose u once had for me as a friend.
the suppression is leavin me alone as ur not participatin.
as I sit here feelin unappreciated as I'm patiently waitin.
for u to somehow wake up fallin away from what we were.
ignorin the facts u fail to witness as I've started to hurt.
absorbin the effect u have on me left in the middle of this.
ur not respondin to me the way u did as we kiss.
ur different n shy away from the intimacy jus like the rest.
n if I speak on it to save us from sittin apart I'm the issue.
I'm only allowed to feel u as we cuddle clothed away from the tissue.
it's lonely here as conversation has led to our struggle.
ur not payin attention to ur part in this as I'm muzzled.
n bein felt is missin the point of what should be so smooth.
at a loss on the downfall off the backend has begun.
shortly easin outta what it was I was I meant to u now goin numb.
the condition I'm in is defusin me from ur angles end.
ur forgettin the purpose u once had for me as a friend.
the suppression is leavin me alone as ur not participatin.
as I sit here feelin unappreciated as I'm patiently waitin.
for u to somehow wake up fallin away from what we were.
ignorin the facts u fail to witness as I've started to hurt.
absorbin the effect u have on me left in the middle of this.
ur not respondin to me the way u did as we kiss.
ur different n shy away from the intimacy jus like the rest.
n if I speak on it to save us from sittin apart I'm the issue.
I'm only allowed to feel u as we cuddle clothed away from the tissue.
it's lonely here as conversation has led to our struggle.
ur not payin attention to ur part in this as I'm muzzled.
finally free
left to die a slow drawn out agonizin life.
inserted to bleed me was the edge of ur knife.
yet I healed with the scars caressed by another.
it cloud of shit over my head no longer hovers.
finally free to open luvs packaged gift.
how funny is it that ur no longer missed?
for someone the has come along to accept me.
the way u couldn't seem to join me in reality.
a better version of u doin what it takes.
with patience openin her hearts gates.
I've found what I wanted to spill from u.
comin from the blindside of use.
the best thing I coulda ever done was walk away.
n when I did she took me n was willin to stay.
that's more than what I could about u.
so this is my final farewell as I did not lose.....
inserted to bleed me was the edge of ur knife.
yet I healed with the scars caressed by another.
it cloud of shit over my head no longer hovers.
finally free to open luvs packaged gift.
how funny is it that ur no longer missed?
for someone the has come along to accept me.
the way u couldn't seem to join me in reality.
a better version of u doin what it takes.
with patience openin her hearts gates.
I've found what I wanted to spill from u.
comin from the blindside of use.
the best thing I coulda ever done was walk away.
n when I did she took me n was willin to stay.
that's more than what I could about u.
so this is my final farewell as I did not lose.....
doubled up
doubled up n in luv with the same kinda woman.
forced to decide who's best stand with the gain.
split into two n pulled apart for a better cause.
which will accept me n help my own flaws?
enymenyminymo, to choose the rest of life.
ducky ducky ice cream, ones a loss in my mind.
steppin with n away from, all in the same sense.
what memories do I wanna make in my defense?
takin the lesser of confusion of wantin me.
either way its the end of someone's dreams.
set in my hands to lay one back down.
walkin away from my name released with their sound.
who will be lost more without me layin in empty arms?
the decision is a difficult ring of alarms.
in luv in both directions of the unknown.
n all I'm tryin to do is find a lil place called home.
forced to decide who's best stand with the gain.
split into two n pulled apart for a better cause.
which will accept me n help my own flaws?
enymenyminymo, to choose the rest of life.
ducky ducky ice cream, ones a loss in my mind.
steppin with n away from, all in the same sense.
what memories do I wanna make in my defense?
takin the lesser of confusion of wantin me.
either way its the end of someone's dreams.
set in my hands to lay one back down.
walkin away from my name released with their sound.
who will be lost more without me layin in empty arms?
the decision is a difficult ring of alarms.
in luv in both directions of the unknown.
n all I'm tryin to do is find a lil place called home.
replacin what the wind blows
never alone fallin to the struggle solo.
thinkin we're the only one is a no no.
watchin life change in unsettled eyes.
emotions losin simply intensifies.
we battle luvs unique way of failure.
holdin it night after night is the torture.
knowin it'll walk away with our hearts.
fightin to maintain the balance of it's art.
wonderin how many times can we perform.
jus to get back to the reality of the norm.
lone soldiers wantin somethin to stay.
cuz it likes the taste of our name.
to feel a true connection treatise the stakes.
instead of always endurin what escapes.
jus once to have within reach givin worth.
flush in the flesh with silences unspoken words.
wantin it to consume the passion dyin to live.
there's nothin worse than luv turnin back.
returnin to a prior time into the past.
where we were never to standin together.
lookin for a new way of an endless forever.
headstones change names before ever carved.
ashes lay next to another that played the part.
good times embedded in the minds parade.
trapped in frames taken from the walls fame.
of two to good to be as true sharin life.
one at a time we rise n descend from the hype.
outlastin the whispers so soft n untrue.
tryin to gain composure n remember ones use.
set adrift without a friend to call mine.
felt n betrayed by a selfish act of why's.
diggin in to what we've become so deep.
out in the wild lost in the hollows dream.
comin to the surface to present what's left.
a tamed beast achin the loss within the chest.
til seconds becomes months of loneliness' calm.
grippin in the clutch of a firm palm.
the purpose we forgot we were years ago.
on the same path replacin what the wind blows.
thinkin we're the only one is a no no.
watchin life change in unsettled eyes.
emotions losin simply intensifies.
we battle luvs unique way of failure.
holdin it night after night is the torture.
knowin it'll walk away with our hearts.
fightin to maintain the balance of it's art.
wonderin how many times can we perform.
jus to get back to the reality of the norm.
lone soldiers wantin somethin to stay.
cuz it likes the taste of our name.
to feel a true connection treatise the stakes.
instead of always endurin what escapes.
jus once to have within reach givin worth.
flush in the flesh with silences unspoken words.
wantin it to consume the passion dyin to live.
there's nothin worse than luv turnin back.
returnin to a prior time into the past.
where we were never to standin together.
lookin for a new way of an endless forever.
headstones change names before ever carved.
ashes lay next to another that played the part.
good times embedded in the minds parade.
trapped in frames taken from the walls fame.
of two to good to be as true sharin life.
one at a time we rise n descend from the hype.
outlastin the whispers so soft n untrue.
tryin to gain composure n remember ones use.
set adrift without a friend to call mine.
felt n betrayed by a selfish act of why's.
diggin in to what we've become so deep.
out in the wild lost in the hollows dream.
comin to the surface to present what's left.
a tamed beast achin the loss within the chest.
til seconds becomes months of loneliness' calm.
grippin in the clutch of a firm palm.
the purpose we forgot we were years ago.
on the same path replacin what the wind blows.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
caught in a trap
non existent, somewhat invisible.
knowin the feelin of bein irresistible.
always the same tone that speaks.
yet luv so shortly gets a chance to breathe.
for a lil brief moment to live.
the heart is tired as the tongue is tied.
somehow the problem surfaces.
as worth loses its sole purpose.
time simply ruins it well before was meant to.
driftin solo after the devoted proof.
abusin the ownership set in place.
showin true expressions upon the face.
unable to hide luv turned into pain.
catchin self fallin in then outta bein same.
a ghost of a stranger returns as jus that.
back to life with a loss broken n sad.
forced to witness everything change.
as if moments were wasted now rearranged.
thinkin they were never the friend u thought.
cuz for them one actually fought.
the difference made that couldn't last.
for unknown reasons sent back to the past.
easin into memories that mean not a thing.
tryin to change the mind in which they cling.
the visual of a lifetime jus went astray.
attemptin to unload the images as they won't fade.
rottin in the head stranglin emotions.
it's a game of hide n seek with true passion.
here today gone with tomorrow's insanity.
to accept the betrayal is a maddenin reality.
once one has luvd with true intensions used.
all along never able to see the hidden clues.
softenin the touch of vulnerabilities weakness. caught in a trap pretendin to be happiness.
as satisfaction takes an undeservin blow.
feelings hate the rage that forms chiseled ice so cold.
reshapin what it can't remember as the truth.
able to look straight through u know who.
focus blurred in the eyes of a luvrs stare.
causin such a reaction character fails to care.
deprived of the one that matters the most.
after leanin in to the temptation of bein close.
takin the bait that spoke of forevers capture.
writin a rare unfinished book as the teacher.
so it goes nothin good will ever gonna make it.
as unanswered questions ask y r they missed.
guess its jus someone wasn't as real as they said.
deliberately rippin apart papers that wed.
nothin can ever explain the luv shared.
left to die in it's own cell once bared.
to give is to eventually misplace self.
peekin in the mirror gainin strength not felt.
as the resemblance doesn't appear to be the same.
takin every single piece of a lil thing called blame.
watchin the real u refuse to come from within.
resistin the urge to feel another empty grin.
knowin the feelin of bein irresistible.
always the same tone that speaks.
yet luv so shortly gets a chance to breathe.
for a lil brief moment to live.
the heart is tired as the tongue is tied.
somehow the problem surfaces.
as worth loses its sole purpose.
time simply ruins it well before was meant to.
driftin solo after the devoted proof.
abusin the ownership set in place.
showin true expressions upon the face.
unable to hide luv turned into pain.
catchin self fallin in then outta bein same.
a ghost of a stranger returns as jus that.
back to life with a loss broken n sad.
forced to witness everything change.
as if moments were wasted now rearranged.
thinkin they were never the friend u thought.
cuz for them one actually fought.
the difference made that couldn't last.
for unknown reasons sent back to the past.
easin into memories that mean not a thing.
tryin to change the mind in which they cling.
the visual of a lifetime jus went astray.
attemptin to unload the images as they won't fade.
rottin in the head stranglin emotions.
it's a game of hide n seek with true passion.
here today gone with tomorrow's insanity.
to accept the betrayal is a maddenin reality.
once one has luvd with true intensions used.
all along never able to see the hidden clues.
softenin the touch of vulnerabilities weakness. caught in a trap pretendin to be happiness.
as satisfaction takes an undeservin blow.
feelings hate the rage that forms chiseled ice so cold.
reshapin what it can't remember as the truth.
able to look straight through u know who.
focus blurred in the eyes of a luvrs stare.
causin such a reaction character fails to care.
deprived of the one that matters the most.
after leanin in to the temptation of bein close.
takin the bait that spoke of forevers capture.
writin a rare unfinished book as the teacher.
so it goes nothin good will ever gonna make it.
as unanswered questions ask y r they missed.
guess its jus someone wasn't as real as they said.
deliberately rippin apart papers that wed.
nothin can ever explain the luv shared.
left to die in it's own cell once bared.
to give is to eventually misplace self.
peekin in the mirror gainin strength not felt.
as the resemblance doesn't appear to be the same.
takin every single piece of a lil thing called blame.
watchin the real u refuse to come from within.
resistin the urge to feel another empty grin.
for ur destruction i an thankful
As u know I built my world around u as my final destination n u walked away from what u said was ur everything in me. I served ur luv in ways I prolly woulda ever recover from as harsh the truth is I can't seem to come to the terms of what was my lone n broken dreams. Lettin go of the one I collapsed into u, to be left out in this world as the ache defines what I was without u. Who was I suppose to be settlin in anothers eyes that stares at me the way u did in our time cut loose. I'm no longer lost tryin to find my way back inside of me to repair the loss my hands wasn't strong enough to hold on to as u played me for a fool. As I know it wasn't me that was given up but a lifestyle u need as I found myself again remindin me of u n what u inflicted upon my hearts cool. I died the day it ended in ways someone else has come along n done what it was u shoulda been doin as I payed the price. Was I not what u told me I was livin madly in luv with only u as my undyin devotion bowed in pride. How was I to know it be u to tear apart my tears, drainin my will to step away from u so afraid? It's strange to think to protect myself is to stay far away from the one person I never thought would kill me with lonely pain. My thoughts feed the tender place u once touched that r comforted with a reality I didn't believe would ever heal due to the absence of ur face everyday. It hurt beyond my wildest desperation as I had trouble makin any sense of life since u turned out to be my kryptonite dyin at least once a day. It was suppose to be u in the end that came to soon for my emotions to accept eternity runnin outta reason to stay alive. So I hid inside of myself as the secret of how I thought I still felt for u lingered n clung to the imagination after it was all I had left as mine. It's over n ur all but gone attached to who I was meant to be as I'm removin ur remains cuz its the only way I can figure to feel what appeared to be ur everlasting touch. I'm stuck resistin everytime I opened up cuz I felt the joy I had for u, yet I tried to explain standin before u that u never wanted as I was drapped in ur luv. It's a battle no one knew existed cuz if anyone did know it woulda gotten back to someone I never wanna lose cuz u were in my way for I've found someone to help me manage me in this world. As ur somewhere forgettin I'm as human as the man that fell for u that wisely attempted to sweep u from what u went through cuz I wanted u as my girl. Yet after my all that I placed at ur feet to get walked on as u treated me as if I was a joke. How could u look through me as if I was in the way of what u truly wanted behind ur devotion that imposed? I will rid myself of the memories u embedded in my heads reel on repeat. I don't want to remember u no more n simply give u back to the past where we stood as one as I leaked out on my knees. Only for u I released who I was in rare form to show u, u mattered to me cherishin ur presence. Only for u to force me to pull out my own seams givin everything I had to u so defenseless. I had u so I thought to myself as I emploded within cuz u had me where u wanted me at ur command. But I don't blame u for bein who it is u were beneath what I seen as I was banned. For ur destruction I'm thankful it didn't take but a couple n a half years to imprison me driftin on the ride of a lifetime with u. Ur gone n another has stepped up to claim what u didn't believe in as a man that felt u with pure intensions n worth n that is the truth. How's it feel to be the one who walked away in the middle of livin out Luvs plan to join us as we were what everyone envied? Cuz on the other end of bein walked away from I found the me in the glaze of a young woman's eyes holdin on hopin I'd never leave her for u so she can breathe. I'm the difference now u overlooked doin all I could do to withstand ur rage that was never meant for me to endure. She's the better version of u that wants me til my time is said n done, that's not once has been lured. It was u in a past tense speakin lies to what I wanted most of all. N its cuz of another I've learned what a female is as I no longer crawl. Wantin what I could never receive from ur passion that somehow refused me for the damndest reason. I know now ur choice of choosin me is but a figment of my imagination changin with the seasons. So ur free cuz I found me a luv that doesn't resist the urge to give what I don't ever havta ask for. N all I want of her is to be real as my luv for her pours into the moments I have to be that one person u gave up on for what u thought was more. As u hadn't had any true purpose of y u did to the one individual that could never purposely hurt u in any way. So go, live n be happy as my smile has returned to surface upon my face n gain everything as if u went astray. Yeah, it's the same kinda luv i felt by ur side with more depth as my friend emerged to help me realize luv wasn't meant to disappear. It's u I've forgoetten how to fear as she stood me upright n gave me somethin real so much stronger than steal to feel not only in the mirror my dear....... I did care....
Monday, February 16, 2015
the regret of betrayals finest
takin me back to the secrecy that guides within these words.
tired of the trusts that break down mid point n unheard.
retractin that level of comfort no one seems to understand.
as out lays here no longer screamin in silences stance.
worth is absent of the comprehension as of a ghost.
done sends to believe it's real yet can't be witness to the host.
givin reason beyond a selfish change played with fake smiles.
luvn for the moment til ones truth is seen with no style.
class has no relevance in due time walkin side by side.
it all ends in pain rippin imaginary holes beneath the cries.
so inward I go to release all but verbal sound expressed.
there's no meanin to dreams that fall into realities best.
jus memories that won't fade from the walks off the mind.
countin to the past that afterwards to be the struggles climb.
unforgivin the lack of patience noticin honesty misunderstood.
solo crawlin inward I resist Luvs inability to show where it stood.
turnin away n claimin pure emotions spent to be the one.
feelin as if I never mattered to a set of eyes on the run.
it hurts to open up to desire that lasts only for a brief moment.
standin in between my all n the door that winds up bolted.
left rattlin the sense of confusion lost in my unguided head.
s hands felt what it is I am in the way I fail to find my bed.
n oh the paths that disappeared had so much promise.
as luvrs change faces in shape yet appear as the same twist.
I believe it's me that's undesirable in the way I live.
broken within the dust deterioratin as I'm the one never missed.
standin in the mirrors stare lookin through what was real.
I've seen me n what remains is someone I do not shed a tear.
a fool so easily replaced by another takin my place.
stealin what I've earned attemptin to admit what is felt n erased.
in ways that jus may be considered to deep to endure the knife.
there's no depth to be found beneath a grins delight.
torn to heal proofs ability to stay willingly is the need.
yet here I am spaekin a muted tongues tragedies seed.
planted in letters tellin the redirection of a mans uselessness.
inside out I turn on pages to fill a void with an unfulfilled happiness.
as each line clings to elsewhere bein homes ungrateful ache.
in the spotlight alone as chuckles come forth to the stage.
there is no once upon a time as the happy endin is non existin.
jus an endless battle of provin self to the resistin.
those who can not seem to find me wantin what I had.
n the armor has thickened to protect what's left repairin the dents.
cuz I do not wanna experience a new disappointment.
I'm goin in to settle the loses that r afraid of the corruption.
frightened from bein let go when I somehow stand alone.
I fade now into the one place no one seems to wanna keep as their own.
I'm nothin but a has been after bein madly in luv.
I stood in n out in the work that around up under the gun.
dead to the capability of bein someone's everything.
cuz they all speak in identical tones vibrating.
this is me now in the flesh in which ink spilled spills into form.
back to the regret of betrayals finest settin me free from the norm.....
tired of the trusts that break down mid point n unheard.
retractin that level of comfort no one seems to understand.
as out lays here no longer screamin in silences stance.
worth is absent of the comprehension as of a ghost.
done sends to believe it's real yet can't be witness to the host.
givin reason beyond a selfish change played with fake smiles.
luvn for the moment til ones truth is seen with no style.
class has no relevance in due time walkin side by side.
it all ends in pain rippin imaginary holes beneath the cries.
so inward I go to release all but verbal sound expressed.
there's no meanin to dreams that fall into realities best.
jus memories that won't fade from the walks off the mind.
countin to the past that afterwards to be the struggles climb.
unforgivin the lack of patience noticin honesty misunderstood.
solo crawlin inward I resist Luvs inability to show where it stood.
turnin away n claimin pure emotions spent to be the one.
feelin as if I never mattered to a set of eyes on the run.
it hurts to open up to desire that lasts only for a brief moment.
standin in between my all n the door that winds up bolted.
left rattlin the sense of confusion lost in my unguided head.
s hands felt what it is I am in the way I fail to find my bed.
n oh the paths that disappeared had so much promise.
as luvrs change faces in shape yet appear as the same twist.
I believe it's me that's undesirable in the way I live.
broken within the dust deterioratin as I'm the one never missed.
standin in the mirrors stare lookin through what was real.
I've seen me n what remains is someone I do not shed a tear.
a fool so easily replaced by another takin my place.
stealin what I've earned attemptin to admit what is felt n erased.
in ways that jus may be considered to deep to endure the knife.
there's no depth to be found beneath a grins delight.
torn to heal proofs ability to stay willingly is the need.
yet here I am spaekin a muted tongues tragedies seed.
planted in letters tellin the redirection of a mans uselessness.
inside out I turn on pages to fill a void with an unfulfilled happiness.
as each line clings to elsewhere bein homes ungrateful ache.
in the spotlight alone as chuckles come forth to the stage.
there is no once upon a time as the happy endin is non existin.
jus an endless battle of provin self to the resistin.
those who can not seem to find me wantin what I had.
n the armor has thickened to protect what's left repairin the dents.
cuz I do not wanna experience a new disappointment.
I'm goin in to settle the loses that r afraid of the corruption.
frightened from bein let go when I somehow stand alone.
I fade now into the one place no one seems to wanna keep as their own.
I'm nothin but a has been after bein madly in luv.
I stood in n out in the work that around up under the gun.
dead to the capability of bein someone's everything.
cuz they all speak in identical tones vibrating.
this is me now in the flesh in which ink spilled spills into form.
back to the regret of betrayals finest settin me free from the norm.....
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
fantasies become families.
n dreams aren't always what they seem.
it's the twist spoken in conversation.
understood to know luv isn't an imitation.
a thought ends up in reality.
n bein free only goes two ways with a please.
as emotion settles in the nerves.
loosenin words that jus may go unheard.
what was differs from now into tomorrow.
given comfort or sorrow wantin more time to borrow.
ends of beginnings is jus the fade of interest.
in the middle of remains givin the differences.
here could be there as is was needed then.
but u can't pretend cuz the truths will eventually vent.
n dreams aren't always what they seem.
it's the twist spoken in conversation.
understood to know luv isn't an imitation.
a thought ends up in reality.
n bein free only goes two ways with a please.
as emotion settles in the nerves.
loosenin words that jus may go unheard.
what was differs from now into tomorrow.
given comfort or sorrow wantin more time to borrow.
ends of beginnings is jus the fade of interest.
in the middle of remains givin the differences.
here could be there as is was needed then.
but u can't pretend cuz the truths will eventually vent.
Sunday, February 1, 2015
chained to the irrelevance
the unlovable one.
awakened by the past others think is broken.
in the mix of givin away his heart again.
witness to yet an others fadin emotion.
in constant reminder he has no worth.
outspoken n muted by the unheard.
silenced in the middle of carin words.
harsh n direct from the frustration.
meant to fix what's fallin from the fingertips.
the unknown soldier.
losin the battle of passions leakin lips.
seems he's jus never enough.
achin under the surface in touch with the pain.
ends of beginnings haunt his mind.
standin in frame with his name.
on another level misunderstood.
reasonin with the fire arm aimed at the facts.
reachin from within to calm the noise.
echoin ripplin vibes bouncin to the beatin grasp.
mr. Forever, my everything!
cut sliced n diced, feelin every slit.
like a fish drownin thru the gills.
makin no sense under the surfaces spill.
sinkin within as if anchored into the deep.
down goes the gulp.
chained to the irrelevance of ever after.
knowin damn well it's not his fault.
it's the breeze that changed direction.
comin from the south n now headed that way.
only if he was found as he stood.
unable to play the incentive games.
the man who's been failed by all those whom he touched.
felt n wantin it to jus be real.
He wonders in the proof of his wounds.
how did the candlelit melt the steal?
now jus heated metal striped of it's paint.
somewhat like a clown that has no smilin face.
down to the raw confusion showin a truce.
peekin at pictures to apply the trace.
the happiness that covered his expression.
becomin the truths that made him a better man.
rememberin the let down back for another round.
ding ding, she said ilu n ran.
as the war reached homelands security.
naked without the allie that protected his secrets.
simply forced to break a promise that still has meanin.
guess she never meant to luv without her so called demons.
laughin at the one person that never meant no harm.
jus wantin to be met somewhere in the middle of life tickin so fast.
pausin for a breathe of air the unthinkable set him free.
unwillin to dig in n find the man that wore no mask.
his best intentions let loose elsewhere in time.
to someone new that will also half step behind him.
cuz they to can not hack it.
can not stand in n keep pace.
placin blame on irrelevant bullshit.
he's what women want.
they talk bout him as if he doesn't exist.
a fairytale to those who's lost hope.
yet, he's been drifting in between hearts that abuse n resist......
awakened by the past others think is broken.
in the mix of givin away his heart again.
witness to yet an others fadin emotion.
in constant reminder he has no worth.
outspoken n muted by the unheard.
silenced in the middle of carin words.
harsh n direct from the frustration.
meant to fix what's fallin from the fingertips.
the unknown soldier.
losin the battle of passions leakin lips.
seems he's jus never enough.
achin under the surface in touch with the pain.
ends of beginnings haunt his mind.
standin in frame with his name.
on another level misunderstood.
reasonin with the fire arm aimed at the facts.
reachin from within to calm the noise.
echoin ripplin vibes bouncin to the beatin grasp.
mr. Forever, my everything!
cut sliced n diced, feelin every slit.
like a fish drownin thru the gills.
makin no sense under the surfaces spill.
sinkin within as if anchored into the deep.
down goes the gulp.
chained to the irrelevance of ever after.
knowin damn well it's not his fault.
it's the breeze that changed direction.
comin from the south n now headed that way.
only if he was found as he stood.
unable to play the incentive games.
the man who's been failed by all those whom he touched.
felt n wantin it to jus be real.
He wonders in the proof of his wounds.
how did the candlelit melt the steal?
now jus heated metal striped of it's paint.
somewhat like a clown that has no smilin face.
down to the raw confusion showin a truce.
peekin at pictures to apply the trace.
the happiness that covered his expression.
becomin the truths that made him a better man.
rememberin the let down back for another round.
ding ding, she said ilu n ran.
as the war reached homelands security.
naked without the allie that protected his secrets.
simply forced to break a promise that still has meanin.
guess she never meant to luv without her so called demons.
laughin at the one person that never meant no harm.
jus wantin to be met somewhere in the middle of life tickin so fast.
pausin for a breathe of air the unthinkable set him free.
unwillin to dig in n find the man that wore no mask.
his best intentions let loose elsewhere in time.
to someone new that will also half step behind him.
cuz they to can not hack it.
can not stand in n keep pace.
placin blame on irrelevant bullshit.
he's what women want.
they talk bout him as if he doesn't exist.
a fairytale to those who's lost hope.
yet, he's been drifting in between hearts that abuse n resist......
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