Back to luv'n u now that the chaos has stopped.
I had to dig deep down in the man within to come out on top.
U were not worth losing in this lifetime before it ended.
So now it's us again riding out the back end of the storms mend.
Best friends finding a stronger friendship makin a stand.
How we made it is a mystery of luv's will thatbhas a plan.
Call on me! Make me the one u can count on.
Watch me be there everytime. Wherever u r goin.
Tell me who u r. N witness ur pain fade into me.
I jus wanna be that one. Fall into me like a dream.
I'm game n up for ur shit. Lastin through the pain.
I have what it takes luv. Standin with u in the rain.
No matter what notice actions speak. I'm here for u.
I refuse to ever tell u no. Put me to use as I do truths.
Drown yourself in a river of luv. Allow me to save u to be.
I'm calling on u. Stand n deliver as on me u lean.
I'll cry with u to feel ur life. Be one one with me here n now.
I'm willing to out in the work. Cuz I feel u n don't know how.
Lay in silence n feel the comfort. It'll speak without words.
As still as the night. Cling to ur one for ur that one I could never hurt.........
Reaching from the throat to grab words grasping the understanding maintaining the best way in expressions put on mute so the sound of the heart can not be heard in the sake of makin time stretch a few more moments that seems worth the fight of luv surviving the Bettie tryin to win the war as self in erupting deep within the cores vengeance after bein put through literal hell.....
Emotions strangled so ears won't have a chance to listen to the changing tone escaping the mouths verbal assault fighting back for the understanding of the confusion forces upon a luv so pure time couldn't destroy the feeling of one as two have been ripped part by a single individuals selfishness playing games cuz they didn't realize the passion flowing in the depths of wedding bells.......
Is it to late? Is a apology worth speaking a sensitive sympathetic expression released from the hearts pain?
Can emotions be repaired? Is walking away make more sense when the mind knows no one else will ever due in a time where she's the only one you've ever cared? Where does picking the pieces up when nit every chip from a shattered luv will ever be found? If not, what's the outcome of walking the other way n keeping the voice muted from sound? Why is it one of the two can't seem to realize what they have before them when given the opportunity to own an other? Put out on the doorstep as if moments shared meant nothin in the middle of a night opening up beyond the makin of luv'rs!
I'm 37 yrs in n don't even know my way back to the only place I called home.
Found it once n i swear, for the life of me I don't know what I've done.
Its a misplaced feeling once the hands time slips past confusin facts.
Cuz all that was ever wanted is to know if I could make her smile last.
Guess the answers of the heart came calling before promises were kept.
It was simple honesty n truth that fell short as I was in the smoke with my best.
I never had her the way she owned me in our time together shared so sweet.
I thought I swept her but found out it was I that had gotten knocked from my feet.
Treated so raw as I stood in the mirror wondering it doesn't feel like home n more.
A man shouldn't havta be abused the way I have n give his all from his core.
Reality set in n sat with frustration til the bomb was ignited.
Boom! There went everything I fought for as I couldn't fight it.
I lost my home n was replaces so fuckin quick as if I didn't matter.
It was the only pace in which felt as I do belonged listening to.her chatter.
Loyal til the end til I euploaded n released what was in the chest playing out in the mind.
After all I've done I was left without the one I considered mine.
Home is jus a word that doesn't exist in eyes strain from a distance.
Yet after all is said n done its the only place I cling to in my heart as I miss it......
In my time I've died somewhere inside while still alive.
Felt the completion of luv run through my depths of mine.
In my time I given to the point where I subdued.
Showin interest in a way to say I have nothin to lose.
In my time I awakened as a man in an others eyes.
N fell short cuz my one couldn't face me due to her lies.
In my time I was everything back when it all began.
On the road dot a life time n yet alone I stand.
In my time I've felt the gift to the pain n enjoyed both.
Had the one I wanted n was forced to give up all hope.
In my time I seen me in a set if eyes that sen me for me.
Jus to witness my passion give up on a longing dream.
In my time I was there as a friend like no other for someone special.
Gettin at life n noticed I couldn't was pulling on her demons tale.
In my time the power of us was the greatest moments made.
Jus to find out all along that Butchie by Mandy was played!
In my time I thought I had expressed myself deep enough to make it.
But she wanted a lifestyle I'd never fit into so she hated.
In my time it was us til the very end with ashes mixed forever.
Now I sit back realize there was no excuse for y we shouldn't be together.
In my time I fought n tried in actions to see a smile rise.
As the twist of life came along n I've died somewhere inside.
Ur not allowed to make me feel less than my worth any longer.
I know my place in luv when I share my my own as its able to grow stronger.
Jus cuz u couldn't handle a reality that stared u down is on u.
I'm about it girl, step to the plate n dig in to life's chance of use.
All those around me sees what u took for granted for some time.
Here come the moment of knowing who I am as a real man.
Walkin away from the existence of what I thought was us as I stand.
Its funny how u did the beat thing I ever was given a lil while to touch.
U jus don't understand what u had deep within my passions luv.
Now ruined beyond repair Mandy n Butchie walks in to different lives again.
Climbing from the depths of emotions that crushed all at the same time of gain.
Toodles one as I retract the name given to the one that doesn't deserve the label.
Its back to me to be the one who got away n I stroll in a fade stable.
Who woulda known u coulda been so heartless to tear me apart on purpose.
N I'd grin n bare it so I can step on my own never to return for ur heartless.
On good in form of a lesson that molded my friend within never be second best.
Yeah, u didn't but I've passed every single individual particular one of ur tests.
U suck as a human bein for what u did to me the way u did y u did what u did to me.
We had it n u failed to face realities plate of gods will giving a chance to live free.
Goodbye 1!
Walking with a bruised daydream beaten n abandoned.
Twitchin a nerve mid sleep from where the bodies left landin.
Pulled from a night's drifting jerk n thrown straight into a nightmare.
Eyes roll with the sweat pouring in a flow, showing emotions r scared.
Switching it up half way awake it was never a dream at all.
Somewhere living in a fantasy I fell n life somehow stalled.
Breakin the habit n on to the next level outside la la lands delusions.
Now in a mature attempt to find a state of mind where reality fights the intrusion.
Jus to slide under sleeps blanket again with a true piece of mind.
Where games have no place in my personal worlds untold time.
In a outta sleep no longer in wonder of fading off nor waking to the bullshit.
Lights on or knocked out I'm relaxed n restin my head to awaken in the same passion in which I kiss......
Opened n ready I've become somethin I don't understand.
As real as expression pouring from my face as a man.
Broken I given myself n got lost in the mix to see her eyes.
Stares remain yet the pain consumes the frightening possibilities.
Can I find it in me to forgive cuz I feel the break of insanity.
I have what it takes to luv for a lifetime of a smile that hurts me.
No one else will do as I give into her as she is my dream.
But I don't think she knows what's she's done to my core.
Everyday even after all said n done I want her more.
Y do I submit to her the way I do to feel this way?
I can't comprehend her actions playing out day by day.
The only place I don't seem lost is only by her side.
Will she actually submit to me as my wife before the end of time?
I believe she confuses me with an other cuz I'm toeing the line.
Never ready to walk away yet I'm goin down in my mind.
Hearts done felt the worst of things n its as if she doesn't care.
N all I keep tellin myself as my head nods back n forth is its not fair.....
The corridor to my heart is a motionless hollow hall in which on skinned knees I crawl.
Dark without shadows of the beast within n this ache within me is all ur muthafuckin fault.
The only light is behind me as it gets smaller n smaller for I can not stop n turn the fuck around.
I'm captured by the pain that calls to me with a familiar voice in silent sounds.
I hear the twisted lies, yet I wonder if the face its released from is jus a demented as one in the same.
Its an evil whisper of spooky tales like u needing me near to own me for ur gain that claims.
I can't see a fuckin thing as I stand still to feel the chilled breeze forced from my frozen core chard.
Oh how I can't take much more of the fear as I endure the torcher from the queen of hearts.
Wtf am I to do as the walls suffocate dimensions enclosin in on what's so fuckin pure?
U did this to me n yet I still run to my inner pits of no return, to my lonely emotional cure.
I jus wanna close my eyes n drift away so fuckin far from the thought of u cuz u hurt myself.
Somewhere in a timeless presence where I don't havta seek pleasure lent by hands of ur help.
Here's the thing of the day as I face a life without u lingering inside my emptiness' weakened own.
Can u feel me release u from the depths in a sense of oh no! Baby, please don't let me go?
U fucked me up in a way I feel a sick sense of life cockin my head sideways with a dead stare chucklin.
Yeah, I'm a lil different from the one u knew before u escaped cuz I was the one u were more than hustling.
Sun felt warming the face in a new day rearranged for a change to prove to me life is not over as of yet.
Yet the loneliness without a luv I thought I'd always have for her remains deep in a place where I hide from the sunset.
Fallin shadows into the night claim the most of me needing her in a way i felt as one for we r the same kinda charm.
Lil did the realization pay attention to the river flowing within this man's opened heart collapsing with her in my arms.
Damaged the sky hasn't the same visual affect in eyes that once believed in the pleasure of happiness's touch.
The display is jus colors thrown n stuck above the willingness that's given up on the passion left to drown in the rain fallin in luv.
Damn me for allowing her to feel as free as she shoulda been cuz she stepped on my neck lick a crack beneath ur feet walkin carelessly causing a pain that's unbearable.
I see life in a new way in this afterlife without her clinging to my side's everyday as the games she played were disrespectful......
I will never be the same as she's somewhere else lost as I am wondering what the fuck happened to us when we were made for each other.
Finding ourselves thinkin how did we fall from a luv that was worth the moments earned with someone that was more than jus a luv'r.
Save it
What fear is not luv'n an other the same.
Bein unfair to someone tryin as I did burning out a flame.
I will never find the meaning nor purposes again.
N I don't know if I want her crawl up under my skin.
I had it in my grasps n it so sad it did want me back.
All the while speaking fibs that formed lies that slashed.
I fell in n fell away madly in luv with my one.
Now the fear of allowin time to accept someone that lingers.
I never wanted an other u find their an other the rips of my fingers.
I've learned how to sleep alone n remain faithful to a fool.
After giving self in a way the only thing that showed was proof.
Now left standing with the fear of my world changing before my eyes.
N even thou I still luv for her I can never cry.
I just don't understand of all people y do this to me?
We said til the end of time itwas us for life.
I guess I didn't read the fine print n ignored the signs.
Our time sroopedway to soon for a heart that cared.
For a friend that was there for the gain of emotions shared.
N it hurts as the fear becomes clear n everyday is focusing slow.
Idk where I am goin as solo as the days running from the night's flow.
Lost n regaining the strength within I release her from myself.
After bein as one with the only one that helped.........
Do u feel it?
No more b.s.
Life has returned.
N yes a lessons learned.
Its a battle won.
Walkin as a man under the sun
Simplifyin the situation.
Let loose from the frustration.
Here I am.
I've done all I can.
Jus a lil note to self.
I am still felt.
Away with time.
With a stronger state or mind.
Its back to me again.
N I gotta plan.
Only on question remains.
Where to go with my gain.
As still as breaths exhaled.
To walk alone I was dared!
Gimme a minute. Don't be so quick to keep it movin.
I'm harmless n jus wanna find ya. Lets get to knowin.
Where do ya stand in life? How is it u'll work out in mine?
I'm jus sayin. Give a moment of ya time to slip my charm in ya smile.
I'm a big boy n u can keep ur draws on. Its jus who I am.
N if it works out ya can share ur treasure. With a grown ass man.
Can ya feel it. Dig, I'm jus tryin to see behind ya eyes.
I'm ol school for sure. Puttin down the ground work for the grind.
Stand still n hold up gurl. I'm not her to hurt ya.
I'm tryin to find my one. N I'm seeing someone interest is noticing lookin atcha.
Take a moment n ya can step on ya way. Jus do what ya feel.
Keep ya head over ya heart. Mingle with an individual who's the real deal.
Lemme see if I can appreciate what u bring to the table. I'm jus me.
I'm bout the work its gonna take. Slow n easy slippin further into a dream.
Jus here n there. When u can use truths in ya reality.
Don't make me way h ya walk away. Ya'd never know my capability.
A playa I am not. That's games as old as yesterday.
I'm jus realizin I'm digging ya. Can I get a piece of ya everyday?
Think bout n take a number ya won't forget. Hit it if ur feeling it.
Feel free to size me up. I can pas the test n slip into me all up in ya mix.
I think I fucked up lookin after an other doin the right thing.
Put relations on the line cuz my heart lives within my wedding ring.
Wtf did I do n what was I thinkin cuz she's hurting in the worst way.
I never meant to cause so much pain but it wasn't my actions bein lost in between days.
I was only tryin ti help the only one I've ever luv'd n ever will.
N now her smile sits motionless without what make sure luv spill.
Yet I had to make sure she could never cross that line again.
I was jus tryin to be that one lookin after her Dillon a man's shoes.
As a friend like no other n I believe I slipped up when I tries to help, whobknew?
I'd become that one that took away her joy she lived for everyday.
Ibdidnt mean any harm n I wasn't playing any type of childish game.
It came from the heart as I did the unthinkable but I had to make sure.
Now she looks at me withdrawn in her eyes in which I've caused.
This is an unfair life that claims us all cuz we don't get out til our hearts forced into a pause.
Even when times feels like we can not go on to the hurt we endure.
How can one felt so.bad when intentions were for the only cure?
I don't understand the concept of bein there fir someone in a way they haven't a choice but to do the right thing.
Jus so when they do their own heart can feel the joy of the rhythm in which it sings.
I gotta satellite outta myself for any chance of survival after allowing u to touch the only place inside of me I kept away from the time of day so no one could ever ruin my chance to enjoy a luv I waited on for far to long before u came around n entered my secrets n turned me against the only one thatbhas ever mattered within my own.........
N greenish it lost n fleeing a place deep enough to be destroyed only by one as I never wanted me to be subjected to the pain caused by someone I've patiently hung about to show myself n see me in there eyes as it was u that freed my passion that jumped out n clung to u in a way ready to be grown............
My time is a waste to say the least cuz u came along n played with my emotions for ur precious gains keep of gimme gimme n I was to suffer at hands of luv's twisted manipulation claiming smiles curve that's now as flat as a horizon without a sunset..............
Alone n drifting wit thoughts left of what was the purist thing jus behave u turn back around n give hope n the feelings beg me not to bow to ur ways without putting up a fight n put self first like i am my own best friend defending what's left after u turned n walked away leaving me madly in luv with a dream I couldn't awaken cuz I tried n failed the test...........
N here u r claiming ur luv is as real as the day before u forgot who I was to u n wanting the ownership back i gave u from the very start of US becoming one in time to enjoy til the end of the creation of man fading into a story to he told of two individuals that couldn't go without their other half no.matter what..........
There's a fine line crossed here that u neglected screw months back that I fought n moved closer for utopian return towards that felt comfort injury stay that u threw away for reasons I do not understand to this day of bein face to face with the luv of my life starin me down as if nothin ever happened to what was shared saved luv..........
I swallowed my pride nuts emotion n heart over n over again tryin to hold on as i chased u thru the storm jus ti havta throw my hands up n watch instep carelessly as if I was no one to u n. It hurt iI still hurts knowing ur here wanting me as I am truly scared.........
I was there for u as u left me out in the balance of subscribe be blown anywhere the breeze coulda taken me far away from u n I held my ground tryin to prove to u what's meant to me in such a short time I had to feel u against the one in me that cared............
Allowed
Lemme cut to the chase.
Get as close as space in the middle of a pause all up in ya face.
I wanna picker up n taste u draped in lace.
For not my own my sake but for ur pleasure finding its mate.
Roll round n wait on my moment to help u escape deep into fate.
Imma be wearin a cape like a super hero makin ur toes curl n break.
Snap, pop n squeeze as I raid ur underworlds shame.
Tamin passion felt in a game of, say my mytha fuckin name.
Playin n sweating like its raining doin the funky munkey cumin with a came.
Never will u be the same.
From soft to hard claimin the way I move my cane.
Goin a bit insane the way I move into ur cave.
Give it here gurl n want me to stay.
I'm all man, what more can I say.
I'm jus tryin my damndest to make ur day.
I got this crave sitting in between ur legs.
N u know I'm not only one that needs to be laid.......
I can be ur man that fazes ur fuzzy shaved.
Yeah, I wanna be enslaved to ur frame.
Diggin in to take the blame.
For ur orgasm on parade...... in jus sayin
Come on in n feel my pain.
Touch the way u let me hang.
The sweat on my brain feels like rain.
Claimed by fingers placing blame.
Cuz I can't escape ur face nor name.
N its totally driving me insane.
Chained to the rage inside my hate.
Nothins the same without my fate.
Within my cage is where only ur remain.
My hearts captured, its ur slave.
My gain is lost n im insane.
N i gotta watch drift n fade.
Remembering all the b.s. u use to say.
U came into my life playing ur games.
Affraid by ur side alone n enslaved.
As the memory of u is tucked n saved.
Y after so much to u I gave.
My inner beast u touched n tamed.
Its the way it played out in yesterday.
Yet I got to see u layed out in lace.
I think of all the hard times that we faced.
N how u made my own heart flutter n race.
Times have changed cuz u turned n walked away.
Jus ur way of sayin I'm on display.
I felt u to cave within my embrace.
U made me feel my open grave.
Mated for life now its rearranged.
Tearin emotion from my days.
But it's ok as u see me beg.
I'm not enough for into stay.
Running u went off n went astray.
After the passion that we shared in luv's fame.
Now I sit n pray over the hurt u made.
U ripped my life apart without dismay.
So come on in n help me recreate.
Our time cut short split in two by ur locomotive train.....
Back out Im entering this world with my head on swivel.
With another piece of my past burried by the shovel.
Down with my head on straight n after the thrill of life.
At the basics putting it back together on a natural high.
Comin into focus is confidence bustin loose from the seems.
Released from the presence of choked by a ring.
Right or left the decisions mine to roam as I go at my own pace.
The world is wide open for my stamp on where I wind up in my stay.
If I were anyone else I'd leave u at the bottom.
Yet I want the best for u so I will not leave u there rottin.
Its u of all people that has claimed my luv's test.
For my head truly depends on what resides in my chest.
Please understand I am a friend like no other.
Ur closer to me than my own fuckin mother.
It's u that came outta the blue n changed my life.
N I have the right to keep u as my very own wife.
I luv u with more truth than u will ever know.
Cuz the hearts emotion will never go cold.
Yet as i sit here n can not help in the way I should.
U get my all like u always have bringing out my good.
Anyone other than u can kiss my fuckin ass.
Im out for self along side our timeless hour glass.
Understand the depths you touch within my core.
Cuz I don't think u realize all I want of u is more.
Til my dying end u get what I've always stood for.
Over u I'd rage a lifetime war...
Manning up. Feelin myself beneath thy skin.
Silk n slick. I'm more down to earths grin.
Good at what I do. Gettin with my own.
Confident. On my way to claiming the throne.
A gentleman. Yet as dirty as sex can stand.
Rounded out. Walkin thru life's lil plan.
Findin a new way. All by my lonesome as a man.
Never fading. Goin on the feeling of life.
Molded for the sake. Enjoyin the hype.
Been there done that. Teachin somethin new.
Here how it's done. Pick up on the clues.
Witness how I play. Without game bein self.
In control without. Movin straight in to bein felt
Hard it is not. Guess I jus been near to many females.
Listenin n learning. To all their fantasies n fairytales.
It as easy as 1.2.3. Born to please the mind.
Followed by the bodies calling. Noticin the sighs.
Yeah I know. So heres to u falling to truths.
Imma do u right. Here comes my use.
Enjoy ur claim. I can walk the talk.
Jus good enough to keep. Its not my fault.
Lets make life hot. Made for two.
No u don't see me comin. I'm brand new.
I'm nothin like you've seen. N it's jus the prelude.
Makin u feel alive. U I'd never reduce to cut loose.
I'm here. Full grown n open to ur mind.
Send me a vibe. I'm bout grabbing life vines.
Squeezin out a bottle of wine. Drippin in time.
Can u feel me? Cuz u have no idea.
U dont know what ur in for. Hell yeah.
Lemme blow ur mind. Jus cuz I can.
Help u relate. Growin within ur own woman.
Its like that. Imma show u how.
Come go with me. Here n now.
Ur in good hands. Trust.
Turnin in luv. From eyes that lust.
Get to know a fella. You'll be amazed at what u find.
I jus need a moment. A piece of ur undivided time.
I got this. I'm nothin like you've ever known n all me.
Comin out to feel ya. In more ways than one ever so free.
Release yourself. Check ya watch n see how time flies.
Spinnin. Imma spread u as thin as air disappearing in between lines.
Slow patient pain lingering beneath the confusions smile.
Dead emotions still, hidden from a passion worth the while.
Holdin frame, captured by misguided moments unjustified.
There's an unstable mess living within the cores restin place crucified.
Help, someone please give notice to the frustrations strangulation.
The pulse is flat, missing the point of no returns duration.
Inside self a war is outta control between the heart n the mind.
Conflict consumes realities dreams of compressed demise.
Swallowed with purposes the frail existence settles behind a battle cry.
Down goes self, burying times chance at pulling through.
Wicked the feelings twist, deep in the lies of untold truths.
Claimed by failure, regrets attack thoughts injecting betrayal.
Hands reaching as air can not be handled in the fight against denial.
Reduced quietly into a tumblin cycle of worth n irrelevance.
Round n round up n down blinded eyes have no more tolerance.
Givin way for the healing, structure reforms what's left of the pieces.
Before anger outlasts luv's relentless power over thy choking leashes.
Gain has no life anywhere here, jus lost n redirecting silence.
Planted roots ripped from the souls soil lay about with violence.
Ooh the torcher that creeps thru the veins frozen bitterness.
A statue emerges as a form of expression that once was long live happiness....
Til the end its US.
I wish h I could believe after the lust.
U caused pain with disregard.
Ripped me from feelins n left scarred.
Ignores n thrown away like it was easy.
Wentaround actin tough n sleazy.
U hadn't a moment to spare for my luv.
N I can't remember the last time there was truth in ya touch.
It was a game to u to clown on me.
Left me standing in the middle of our dream.
Madly in luv I was there for u all the way.
N after all's said n done u realize by ur side I stayed.
Yet the tide remains as if I turned on u.
Girl I don't think u have a fuckin clue.
I'm more than the man u will ever need.
Yet I was the one one my knees.
U played me like Jews no one to u.
Like i didnt know what u were doin without clue.
If u remember I told u what u were doin.
N where you'd wind up n were goin.
I'm stillborn yes but I am not the same.
N I'm tired of ur so called blame game.
Either get at life n accept our fate.
Or release me from ur grip of hate.
Cuz I've done nothin but react to the pain.
N at walked away before I went insane.
Udont realize the level of luv I have for u.
Expressed in everything I do.
So keep up with this way of life ur living.
N this outage control way of takin my giving.
For I won't be around much longer its gettin old.
N the weather is chilling n will turn the heart to cold.
N once frozen an other will warm the soul.
The one I which u couldn't feel for u tryin to hold.
Am j makin this a clear as I possibly can?
Cuz Imma bout to show u how I can walk away as a man.
Ur fuckin up n I won't stand for the lack of interest any more.
With u I'm becoming extremely bored.
As if a waist of time all together.
N jus think not to long ago we promised each other forever!
So this is what life is like without u.
This is how I'm left feeling after all is said n done.
How ironic the emotions I fought off.
Glad it was so easy for u to turn on ur one.
N this is how u walk away.
Once upon a time I thought we was forever.
So as I sit here well never know now.
Its a different kinda feeling not bein together.
Its sad who u truly turned out to be.
N how u did me as ur only true friend in our time.
Guess it jus took a few yrs for the real u to surface.
After u couldn't face me cuz of all the lies.
N the games I finally faced.
I tried to show u a new way.
My thoughts r we jus may not be so much alike.
So this is the afterlife were u didn't wanna play.
I feel u on ur journey needing ur fix.
Everyone has a change of heart.
As the mind turns cuz the other has another lifestyle.
Til now I luv'd u from the start.
My best was wasted on ur selfishness.
U tore all 11 of our lives apart without care.
So go get ur justification pleasing ur high.
Separated ashes jus doesn't seem fair.
Yet I accept with smile the outcome.
For I know who u truly r now standin alone.
This is my life walking in the other direction.
Feelin u fade as I begin to roam.
Pushin u out of that one place no one could ever touch.
N it amazes me how a luv so pure could end.
Left in a moment of truth I found u.
N I'm better off as sad as it sounds cuz u wanted to pretend.
But we both know y we really stopped this rollercoaster.
Lets jus sat my side was willing a able.
Gettin at what I wanted in my presence.
N it may hurt that I'm not the one that's unstable.
Leavin u in a place where I woulda never thought I'd leave u.
Gone I'm off seeking my true calling.
With my head clearer than I've ever thunk.
I'm not wasting no more time on u Stalling.
As I rest in what's left of us released.
Goodbye MANDY!
I will miss u but life is not over.
Yet my realization of u is u r only eye candy..........
Picking up the pieces scattered about.
Coverin the floor so anytime up til now.
I seen it comin for some time n.don't know how.
N still to my queen I willingly bowed.
I was there when u couldnt remember who I was.
As u were lost in yourself clinging to the lust.
Yeah, i was there madly fuckin in luv.
N now that I see u for who u r, it sux.
I witnessed what was left of our time together in a mess.
As I stood shaking my head, i failed the test.
Or did I as u got my best.
N I couldn't find enough room within ur own chest.
I picked us up by myself n claimed possessions as my own.
Guess u didn't understand what it was I was showing.
A man standing before u with purpose n grown.
Starin u down to havta look away n roam.
Here we go!....
Maybe I jus wasn't good enough.
Nah wait, hold that thought.
I jus mighta been to much.
Take a peek in on what I was doin.
Hmmm, Damn near everything.
N I had less on my plate.
Yet I was doin enough for the both of us inside my wedding ring.
Superman.
Then again I am human n u I can't fix!
I still have the rush of what we was inside of me over flowing.
Tryin to escape cuz I'm beating the living shit outta it.
2 sticks of dynamite, boom, fire in the hole.
Here I am n I survived my dream as I awaken from the betrayal.
Yeah, i got lost twice in my life.
Once in u as I couldn't find myself n i became frail.
N again in the end of u giving up n leavin me searching for a home I thought I found.
Whew..... yeah I feel u!
Even more when we r face to face.
That's y I never wanna see u again n that's jus speaking the truth.
Other wise I'd fall deeply back in luv.
N I can't take the pain of everyday life with u.
I am not the same.
Jus do what u do!
I'm jus me kicking it the only way I know how.
Away from u n hiding how I truly feel let loose from my one.
Yeah. Here comes the point of no return.
Who do u think u r after all is said n done.
I should hate u by now.
U damn near drove me crazy n damn halfway insane.
Yet not even u could break me.
Imagine that, i maintained!
I thought it take the life of who I was.
Funny bet u thought you'd have control of me forever.
Even though u own my heart.
Mmmm, there's a twist as u chose us never to be together.
I can hear my heart pumping without u.
Holy shit! Ur not hear.
N I'm still me n I don't have a single tear to shed.
U see you've stolen as many of them as I can spare.
Sorry 1!
U gotta go somewhere we can never be flush.
My time is none of ur concern.
N I don't need ur broken angle of what u consider luv.
It's as easy as silence listening to itself.
Sssh..... don't speak.
I'm not listening no more.
There's only a useless friendship I'm holding on to makin me weak.
Easy come. Easy go.
N yet this a lie.
I think Imma keep it real.
Like I always do.
U r missed in a way in never wanna feel u agian!
Fuck rhymin that last line.
It felt better to jus open up as US I outlasted.
My world will never be the same.
But I'm happy to know I'm free from ur grasp.
Sliding back into rhythm of where i was before u.
Stable n about gettin at life.
N its really jus so sad u couldn't keep up.
I luv'd having u as my wife......
Goodbye MANDY!
Is she with me or not?
Today this what I asked my wife.
R we gonna do this for we have the opportunity to get it started.
N again expressing we have a way to rebuild our life.
N I waited.........
No answer, no reply.
Jus an (I cant).
As I went on to tell her we will never know if we don't try!
Can't is not an answer, yes or no is.
Is it us for life like we said all this time having fun?
Ashes mixed together forever?
Eternal luv showing his world we r as one.
So I politely mentioned its yes or no.
Silence muted my hearts thump.
Felt myself shut completely down.
The luv of my life is on the run.
Ignoring me once again when it's a life situation.
Proving me me where I truly stand.
I've been there for u since day one luv.
But I think it's time u see me walk away like a man.
For I tried ti call u n u text I'm on the phone.
So I called back jus to make sure where u stood.
Phone was off!
I luv'd like a man luv'n a woman should.
N now I have to think about where I am goin from here.
Without u is not my choice.
But it is over between us.
Before within us there's a raging war.
U see Iluv 1! Like I luv the air I breath.
N I hope we can remain friends.
I'd like to know if ur ok.
For I know now we were never truly best friends on ur end.
As I walk away from the only person I gave my all.
As a man til the last day I was there for u.
I never lied. Never cheated. U always got my best.
U made ur decision as I'm forced to turn away madly in luv with u!
But I asked u, r we married? Yes or no?
No answer for the one u call the luv of ur life.
Yet with help from some friends of mine.
I can honestly say I know what I am, n ur not by my side.
Goodbye MANDY! I wish u the world.
Seems we had our moment n u failed.
Gave up n jus flat out lead me to believe u.
Jus listen to the chorus of holy grail!
My work is done here 1!
I can not help u if u won't let me.
N I know it's ur 36th birthday n I have a present for u.
My gift to u is I'm setting u free.
Live ur life that I wasn't good enough for.
Its ok to find what it is u feel u need.
I'm grown ass man n I understand.
Yet now, jus maybe? I.can get u outta my dreams.....
I walked away for a reason untold on ur end!
Ilu MANDY! But i can not live in ur world.
Only if u knew!!!
Mind pulling on the eyes. Lettin the head fall.
Givin up on the day. In the wee hours behind the walls.
There goes the fight. Fadin away from consciousness.
Out. Back to dreams made for escaping the irrelevance.
Life resting still. Freezin lifes swinging pendulum.
Down goes me. Agin into a slow rust.
Heavy lids. Closin on the sights for a bit.
Deep into nightmares n fairytales. Asleep I live.
Deep Rollin thoughts. Takin over realities attention.
Off I go to. To my very own reinvention.
Imma miss my surroundings. As words flow.
N jus after the G'night. Silence for hours holds.
No title can express.
No words can relate.
No time is enough.
No moment unmade.
No passion not felt.
No experience ignored.
No way will luv fade.
No, I'm am here n need u even more.
No rest til the end.
No reason unheard.
No breath not taken.
No enjoyment slurred.
No claim not ment.
No comfort not rested.
No way I will turn.
No, I'm am here to be tested.
Opened as if my luv for u can not stay in.
With no way of containing my own grin.
Freed to show u there's more than enough room for u.
Within me as thy heart has found a use.
As pure as eyes that can not lie.
My luv for u refuses to hide.
No ur worth in my wills everyday routine.
Findin new ways to express to u this is the real me.
At ur service I cling to passions breath.
In between a kiss shared in the middle of the best.
The greatest luv this world has ever known.
As every moment thru me is shown.
U r the luv of my life.
N I'm here for u to ne witness of y I need u as my wife.
Thinkin. Of my end comin to soon.
Of how I wanna relax. Hidden from the sun n moon.
Lowered. Down of what's left for eyes.
Away with time. Rested after the fight.
Its been nice. Good n bad all in the same.
I had to go. At some point everyone fades.
In memory. I made my stand living on.
Remember me. I am n y I did wheat I was doin.
Set under. Layed soft enough for comfort.
Filled in hole. I'm still n smothered.
Away from my luv. Severeved from life.
Misplaced. Never to awaken to smiles alive.
Sent below sight. My name written in stone.
Nah. Burn me n wait so i'll never be alone.
Til ur day has come. Mixed ashes forever together.
With my best friend. As one with my chosen lover.
In our place. Closer than we've ever been.
It'll be us. Sharin an eternity with a shapeless grin.
Its our choice. So our luv will last past our presence.
No matter who goes first. To GOD it'll send a message.
Expressin thanx. For our chance to find worth.
In one an other. Past u there is no search.
Known as best friends. Husband n wife.
Showin this world it's possible. Once in this life.
Leanin in the door frame from the position in which I stand.
Is it safe after so much wrong as been done to this man.
Lookin in from the outside tryin to find reasonin in comin home.
Will things change or is it time to honestly hit the road?
On the doorstep of balance holding my weight for me to see.
Can I trust in such a short time that my own is enough to need?
In middle of a pause at the back door so I can witness what's really goin on.
How am I suppose to know which way this relationship jus goin?
Peeking a looksie n scared to enter for I've been here before.
Is there any way of knowing to be 100% sure?
In between two lives in which I am to decide.
Can anyone tell me the answers I've asked in this time?
On foot in n shaking n other foot out n still.
Can the heart thaw before the freezing chill?
Lost on the putter side of the door the head moves in.
Searchin for a chance to make a positive decision.
I'm frightened of what's inside I left behind.
Cuz to be honest Idk what I'd find.
If I were to fall inward on a past I gave away.
Is it in my best interest for me to stay?
I'm caught dead center of walking in either direction.
N self I having to shield with a lonely protection.
Am I strong enough once in to know my choice is right?
Maybe I should jus disappear for the uncertainties r a constant fight.trapped in between two lives im in the middle of me.
Teeterin on choosing what life I need........
Ticking away under time.
Rests life jus like mine.
Tryin to stand after every fall.
Stallin n creatin new flaws.
Correctin the humanity within.
Grinnin when able for where we''ve been.
Hands rotate our journey til the end.
Fendin for self we will never pretend.
Losing battles to win the war.
N the core always finds a way to need more.
Round n round we spin within moments.
N it's either fold it or hold it.
Bluffin our way here n there.
With a stare n without a care.
The unwindin support will soon come.
Run into the future n get what's ur before ur done.
Unreasonably in luv.
I fell to ur claim.
Head swallowed by thy heart.
N I am to blame.
Left lost n searching for me.
Findin I'm am a mess.
Yet I stand as a man rejected.
N everyday to u I mean less.
Gathering self is a must.
Growin into someone new.
As I was different before u n with u.
Words sound no longer the same of use.
One unfortunate turn of event.
Redirecting my self image.
Losin control to gain my will.
Jus a smear on my own as I am an unwanted leverage.
Known by my past.
Experiences that les me to me.
I've been where I've gone.
Now in front of step from my feet.
That there, yeah that was me.
I did what I wanted.
My reputation took a blow.
Yet I'm here different.
Actions speaking in time.
Reflectin who I once was.
Still seen as my choices.
But I've taken of the gloves.
Back then I was good at the game.
Claimin followers tryin to get me.
Three strike rule n done.
Its what set me free.
One by one never turned down.
Tally marks engraved memories in the mind.
Easily I found a sweet spot anthem all.
Carefully I got my way every time.
Patience gave me pleasure without the chase.
Trippin on emotions wasn't my thing.
Come it go as u very week please.
I'd still be me as a friendly fling.
One two three faces changed.
Strikin em out n layn the wood.
I got a gift of a new redirection.
Much different now than I ever stood.
I gained control without needing it.
A twist none of em figured til I was done.
Yet I stand opposite in my shoes today.
Til I feel it's time to come undone.
The chance may be at hand for me to play.
For I chased one female in my life.
N when its done I'm out like the lights.
Gettin deep enough to be felt with my size.
Planted firmly for now I rest.
Wantin jus one to explore my own.
Never wanting to becomes what I was.
But if all else fails imma deal my growth.
Call me what u will for I am that good.
Settled down I'm wait for my one.
Watchin her figure my true angle.
N to be honest I'm having fun.
Its my way without asking cuz enough is never enough.
I'm give me in a way I'm craved.
Known by my skills before who I am.
That's y I am allowed to stay.
I am a man putting facts on the line.
Showin true self n daring the chance.
Laughing inside cuz I get what I want.
N only 8.5" of thrust is in my pants.
I'm well rounded o I'm easy to like.
Fake orgasms never roll off the tongue.
I know what I am n I am a good time.
N I have the real me hovering their mind.
Yeah I'm humble n yes I'm rare.
A man that's about it n pleases enjoyment.
In more ways than one I find my way.
Calmly weaving myself into he moment.
Desired for who I am I come with a package.
Many things make me the way I am.
Its that, that catches the eye.
Plucking out the one I want jus cuz I know I can.
I'm put on hold for one individual.
Relaxed n still giving it to her.
Not jus sexually I fit in to her day.
I jus told u I am a man that's as real as my word.
Faithful til the day the end has come.
N game time is on once again.
Bobbin thru the filters of easing back.
Findin an other if possible for shocking will stand.
Comin n goin all at the same time.
One foot planted unwilling budge.
The other running away with my dreams.
N I'm in the middle of emotions holding a grudge.
Images scurry across the memory banks.
Lost on the doorstep clinging to my own.
Here I sit standing up all in the same.
Time has come to decide which way to go.
Lookin for a way out tryin to stay.
I'm a lost cause waiting for an answer from within.
One that won't speak to me for I am confused.
I gotta twisted fake expression showing thru my grin.
Untouched n left to self to figure my way.
With no direction Im as still as the night.
Motionless yet the inner me jus won't stop.
Where is the comfort I once known in this life.
Weakened by the silence of walls that will not talk.
Talkin to self I've come to the same response unheard.
Listenin to the echoes i can not make out bouncing inside my mind.
Stranded I am searching deep for the unused words.
Down I climb upside down n backwards severed from self.
In my core I can't feel me needing my own.
Lackin the understanding I'm torn from the pull ripped.
Tearin me from one end to the other ever so slow.
Pieces r misplaced n I seek to find the whole me.
Replacin bits with new lessons fitting jus right.
Never the same I realize Im sowing the seems.
Stitched together for the original pattern that I can not find.
Am I comin or goin with or without what I've known.
Steppin into the now of makin self as a new.
I feel a tick softly pound with pains on an unguided path.
Jus tryin everything I can jus to make due.
I walked into ur luv as it walk through me.
For I believed in u as if u knew me.
One in the same walking together in time.
I fell into u n let myself completely unwind.
N I found myself in this fuel unfortunate world.
Walkin alone into the arms of a truly ungrateful girl.
The realization puts a damper on my pain struck heart.
For I thought it was us from the beginnings leaping start.
I couldn't see u cuz my heart wouldn't allow it.
Yet forcefully I was to step back n I saw me bein treated like shit.
I've come to the terms of I'm good n Imma havta pass on us.
Yeah we r one in the same but ur bout self to the fullest.
Standing solo I roamed fighting for what?
U showed through actions I was unjustified words so blunt.
Of all people to release ur past upon.
Y me is a question followed by come on!
Stepping away I'm comforted by my choice of no longer choosing u.
For so long I've sat inside myself without a clue.
The pain n hurt riddled my confused mind.
Wonderin when am I gonna see the signs.
Lost in my last days craving u in my everyday.
I shut down n allowed u to drift in the winds stay.
Blown off into the distance far from my lonely reach.
I'm so far gone on u yet u destroyed a chance for two hearts that meet.
No way out I couldnt gather my thoughts.
Controlled by u I fell apart holdin on to what purpose of y I faught.
Now standing with my head clearing from the fog.
I've become someone I never thought I'd become.
Here in the flesh I no longer choose u in my life.
Friends don't do what u did so no we can't be in my mind.
I wasn't good enough to get the respect I deserved.
N the hurtful actions followed by unjustifiable words.
I'm out n I never wanna be at one with u again.
I'm takin my place in this world as a real man.
Done, finished, I've had my run of bein unappreciated.
To the point at one point I believe I was hated.
U turned on me time n time again without a reason.
I have played the roll n been the warmth within a chilled season.
U call it what u want for there r two sides.
Yet ur the one that has to live with ur actions as I say goodbye.
U wasted a luv that is still never ending to say the least.
But I refuse to live this way for it twists my very own beast.
Restraining my well bein of becoming what I am to be.
N I can't be ur superman n I apologize to u as I set me free.
U shoulda seen me for what I was tryin to do.
I was there when everyone else tried to hurt u.
U alone r to blame for this end of a pure love that was inseparable.
N I'm outta a friend I thought I had n ur untameable.
In ur own selfish world that allows no one in.
But FYI jus to let u know i found my misplaced grin.
U wanted nothin to do with this man that literally tried to be there.
N u threw me away without a single once of care.
So off u go with ur lies, games, n a luv that can not survive.
I'm doin me now n I thank u for now I know me n that I will never hide.
Inside a man as still as he can be waits emotions patience as calm as a dream... with character of will n desire sittin alone for a woman to admire... to cling to the truths deep in his soul that pounds like thunder on a never ending roll... somewhere within his core is a place unassisted by any other as it rests for its day to become as free be interested... down in the bottom of a male's heart he feels the passion flow with the presence of mind one day he will lose control... falling madly in luv unable to help himself remain the way he was for there is a female that will steel him away from with an exploding rush... its inevitable for a man to withstand the power of an honest touch when felt in his soul it's what he needs so much... under the shell in which he hides feelings of pure need lives an individual that slowly breathes.... til that day of awakening a pulse that beats for his cure n sends him on his way to a point of no return to endure... the grace of a divine connection he longs to hold as he's wrapped in an embrace he alone knows will unfold... beneath the manly fave lays willingness for pleasures finest is lingering in his depths of bringing forth his kindness... reaching for what a man craves life itself he will give his all n for him there is no help... Layin motionless in his end of concurrin his own he will allow jus one to collide n crown his queen with a throne...
Out comes the emotion without the pain.
Past the expression that's turned into rage.
Here comes the part where the end is near.
N a lifetime of change is the only thing feared.
Released to shove out what can not be swallowed.
Needin a fresh start from the moment of hollow.
Becomin self in a new way of thinkin.
Freed speech delivers feelings done bleedin.
All because self was left alone needing a friend.
In a life no longer chosen an other will not attend....
Fitting in is not what luv is about.
One sided ways r selfish flung from the mouth.
Its two as one with the same vision that counts.
The only way it'll ever work or everything go's south.
Walkin together as life is shared n never jus ones way.
Meetin in the middle of life n provin the other is welcome to stay.
When it's all about this is the way it is n u can leave.
Its time to pack up what's left of self n end a dream.
To awaken in another time n place far from where u fell u belong.
Yet if u did in what was left behind u wouldn't have gone.
For both parties would've bent in ways unimaginable.
Still in between luv'n arms that r understandable.
Everything is subject to change as two must change together.
Or prepare yourself for ur one to walk away from a shared forever.
Good enough to care n it shows through actions.
Yet not good enough to be by ones side is causing a shutting down reaction.
Fightin for the good In every situation standing as a man.
Will break him down when a woman won't make a stand.
There ever time with out a drop of blood shared.
Takin on an others as well as own he is normalisation of a split pair.
The hardest thing to do in life is to give ur all n lose self.
Its a feeling no one can replace for u can't even help yourself.
All in, willing to get at life in a way she has a real friend.
Yet a male is always shown he's the only one that will bend.
When it counts the most a man rises to the occasion.
Steppin to the plate of not his his own he loses relation.
Kept at a far even though he's not to blame.
For the edge of his happiness he was pushed n now theres pain.
Strugglin to make lends n make it right a man will do what it takes.
Preyin to the heavens for mercy on his giving mistakes.
Proof within reaches in ways she avoids to see him tryin.
Doin more than a child's own father n with a grin.
Unable to walk away without bein told to step away.
There's somethin in a real man that will beg everyday.
To his one he's found in a woman that is unwilling to give.
Jus a lil time an patience knowing he's as good as he can get.
A man's best comes forth n he'll always be put to the test.
Bobbin n weaving through the games n loops.
Speakin nothin but what flows from his heart in honest truths.
A woman can be the most unappreciative create know to man.
When his heart lays beating n madly in luv in her hands.
For she determines how fate cuz he has granted her that power.
One in which she takes for granted as second tick into minutes n he waits hour after hour.
Its cruel n inhuman to put a good man on the line.
As he hands himself over for her to claim as mine.
Standing as a man overlooked for her own reasons.
He can't help but to feel like the weather's changing season.
I don't wanna keep lookin at old pictures of us.
I wanna take new ones of u n I of what we've learned of our luv.
Older moments captured I see us finding our way.
Wrapped up in our kwn emotions every single day.
We need fresh still frames in a pause after what we've been thru.
I know it will show the meaning of what we know n what we have as truth.
I see our faces lit up with smile happy as we can possibly can be.
Yet separated hearts joined again will fulfill a ooh so wanted dream.
There's so many times we've been photographed in luv.
So compatible we reflect each other standing closer than flush.
Starring at a lins caught up in lifes once in a lifetimes chance.
Beside me as I u, pose for fresh memories made for what is a glance.
Layed out as before n after in a photo album as one.
Showin this is us when we're old of our time of how we truly r madly in luv.
Different meanings yet all in the same way of doin what we do.
The copies we made r a lesson compared to a snapshot of new truths.
Lets take emotion n reinvent the worth honestly showin.
Instead of feeling our way along like we did n jus begin the real unfolding.
Of bein us under the plastic film as pages turning our story.
Together forever, knowing we r more than we was n feeling the glory.
It's the reflections of us, bein who we r side by side.
Jus hold for the camera to prove what we consider mine!
I like crying. It releases the pain.
Helps. Shows me what I have to gain.
Tension crumbles. At least when it flows.
It comforts for me. To feel somethin explode.
Held it in to fall apart. its jus one of those things.
In the middle of nodding heads. Tryin to cling.
Losin the fight. I wanna feel it slip away.
One last time to feel it's presence. Before it make airs escape.
No longer to be felt. Free to run from me.
So yeah, I like to cry. Its comforts my broken dreams.
Crushin my reality. I accept the moments end.
Lost n changed. Memories stopped bein made as friend's.
Emotions linger outta control. Tryin to hold on.
Til its able to go. Lettin go to be reborn.
I like to cry. When the time is right.
When a period becomes an exclamation! Done with the fight.
Letting go with the hurt. To become a new n improved self again.
Yeah, i like to cry from time to time. If it's necessary to become a better man.
Left..........
The hardest thing i'll ever have to do.
Is tryin to get over u know who.
I dont think i'll ever be the same.
Id rather put up with the lies, b.s. n the games.
I tried to luv once but i lost.
All thats left is a man without his balls.
Luvn her i was destined to feel pain.
Caught up in the emotions under the rain.
Ooh how heyes once spoke the truth.
But now shes gone n i feel so fuckin used.
My time left here in earth is rearranged.
Yet i had the chance fir her to carry my name.
Sometimes luvn a womans a losin game.
Left to selfs endless worn out days.
But if u dont try to stand by her side.
Youll never know if she'll ever find the time.
Help me jesus forgive her for shes luvd.
Walkin our on me has left me crushed.
I dont wanna to fewl another woman again.
N its pullin on the man in which i am.
Only if she knew how luuuv is truly real.
Shed turn around n mend a heart until its healed.
I dont how its come to bein forgotten.
All i know is i sinkin in the bottle slowly rottin.
Man i preay for the day she comes back.
Til then im forever alone n
Sometimes luvn a womans a losin game.
Left to selfs endless worn out days.
But if dont try to stand by her side.
Youll never know if she'll ever find the time.
Wrote in form of Waylon Jennings....
1) From oldest to the youngest, it starts with u Xavier.
Now grown this world has been placed on ur shoulders n I will get heavier.
Ur my road dawg for life as u now havta figure out ur path.
Jus remember everything I taught n told u n life won't be that bad.
Go at it n get urs man for ur the only one that'll look after u.
Jus know dad will always be there n ilu.
2) Next up Is mike n it's almost ur time to find ur place in time.
Keep ur head n use ur ability to talk to take u for a ride.
U have good qualities within yourself that u need to find.
Cuz when u do you'll truly be one of a kind.
U have an ability that can not be taught if used properly.
Never forget ilu n don't ever lose ur individuality.
3) Alexandra, my baby girl almost to that sweet 16 mark.
Ur the first of 2 girls I have to release into this word n that's hard.
You've always been the lil girl a dad could ask for.
Don't let anyone influence ur relationship with anyone as this world turns.
Be u n take ur time to see a situation for what it truly is n find use.
Most of all its gonna be hard in a couple of yrs so know dad luvs u.
4) Mr. Joey. U got a while to figure things out n Imma be there for u.
By ur side to show u what a man is capable of til the end as a friend i'll be true.
Ur a lil here n there n uncertain what it is right n wrong is.
But know I'm not goin anywhere, so that broken feeling u have will be fixed.
Ur a hand full for sure but r one of the most goofy fun kids I've ever been around.
So know ilu as I stand by ur side to keep ur feet on the ground.
5) Down to Avery doin his thing as I'm proud of u man.
Ur goin to be a good man n behind u I will always stand.
Ur the lil me that can not n will not stop til u find a way.
N I admire the quality of life that consumes ur endless crave.
Do ur thing n show this world u have a purpose in ur walk.
Ilu punk, I don't havta tell u to get back up if u ever fall.
6) On to Jared who's smarter than he needs to be.
Ur gonna do things my friend n live ur dreams.
U got what everyone wants n that is the drive to get theirs.
Keep ur corky sense of humor n know who u r cuz ur rare.
Can't wait to see what u become as a man before my eyes.
Ilu j-rod, ur a unique individual so never forget to use ur mind.
7) Lil miss violet, my princess that has stolen my heart.
My second daughter that is growing into the part.
U amaze me sometimes cuz u seem so much older.
To hear u speak one on one ur very well worth the ear above the shoulder.
I'll do all I can to show u how a man's suppose to be in front of a woman.
Know ilu n ur smile i'll always be holding.
8) This brings me to u Jacob. Ur so strong minded.
Jus need someone to help u along the way so within u, u can find it.
The answers to the questions in ur head that r as simple as who u wanna be.
Ur stuck on bein a cop, never give up on ur dream.
I know ur young n u got time to figure it out.
Jus know ilu n whatever u wanna be Imma be proud.
9) Last but not least is my bubba! Joshua u r that one I could never have with ur mom.
So you'll havta forgive me if my luv for u will never stop.
I've been there since u were 6 months old.
N for u I've done what a dad is suppose to do so on u I'm sold.
Imma make sure u turn out to be all u can be.
Ilu stink butt, ur my youngest of so many.
Space in between hearts needing to be close.
Forced time of waiting is at an all time low.
Patience is makin two as one stranger than ever.
Watchin the clock spin down true moments of forever.
Separated souls meant to last a lifetime in luv.
Together for all time there's a rare thing called touch.
The pain that struggles without a friend like no other is unreal.
N the time placed in the middle of the facts needs them near.
Fightin to be in the arms of a dream come true.
Its the single most hurtful thing of wanting to be put to use.
Strugglin with emotions racing to be side by side.
Parnters, luv'rs, friends misplaced as husband n wife.
Missin days at a time without a face the that makes a difference.
The presence of that one where there is no defense.
Lost in this world two as one cling for that day.
To enjoy bein held every second given to stay.
Things happen n not everyone has the opportunity to hold on.
Yet when fate steps in n lays hands on truth, it keeps luv goin.
Makin due for now jus to run n collide softly with an eternity.
With a clearer mind n a more pure heart knowing for sure why it is to be.
Its jus one if those things where belonging has found its home.
On comfort level where not a single question will ever dare to roam.
Total completion settled deep to prove it's worth that name on top of the list.
Jus wanting to get back to the purist thing that is a perminant fix.
It's a luv of a lifetime removed for a brief moment to live.
To see for self as both look closely at what we give.
Lasting past the battle jus needing that one person that makes life better.
Its jus that simple when true luv opens it's eyes to forever!
What is u want in a someone so willing?
How is it u feel? Is life with them fulfilling?
Where is ur head in the battle of showing face?
Do u need their embrace? Sipping on their luvs taste.....
Is ur emotion meet as u feel wanted?
In them finding that someone with somethin.
Does ur life make time for their presence?
Can u feel the comfort as u feel defenseless?
Is it possible to live side by side for all time?
Turning to the foundation of a friend's find.
How do u react when u don't hear from them?
Does ur heart truly break to the bend?
Where do they fit into ur days if missed?
Do u fiend for a simple lil kiss?
Is their touch worth more than honest devotion?
Inside ur core is it like an everlasting explosion?
When together does time stand still?
Wrapped in their arms, having proof of will.
Does their best come forth for ur smile alone?
Do u sink within their protective zone?
Where is the luv if hard times were in ur way?
How do they fight for the chance to help ur day?
If u could see the purpose in their eyes.
Could u find room to find space for them in ur mind?
Do u think of them n feel u want to be one?
Where's ur meaning settling behind the luv?
What's the reason of having them around?
Is it the words spoken silently without making a sound?
Do u do what u can to make sure luv will stand the test of time?
Away from them do u feel empty inside?
How is everyday with them enjoyed?
Does miscommunication leave u at a void?
Do u give the rest of ur life to a real situation?
Having that remarkable feeling that's a complete sensation.
Is this person that one you've longed for?
Everything you've always wanted to explore.
Is ur head over ur heart as truth shows itself?
Knowing u have a partner for life with a lil help.
Does their actions repeat on ur very own worth?
R they tryin to be their for u so u never have to hurt?
Do they give the time of interest to be with u?
R the answers to the questions within bein put to use?
Is the without a doubt feeling of u being luv'd there?
In their eyes can u see that they care?
R words for the better cause of makin a difference?
On ur heart is their an everlasting imprint?
Have u become one within a cuddling moment feeling safe?
At the end of a long day do r they there to help u escape?
Do u belong in a way u found ur one in a million before u?
Finding a home beside them no matter what happens, everyday feeling the combined views.
Do u give in return to the facts of luv staring u down?
Is ur moment in front of u now?
Can u reach for it n know it will never go anywhere?
Do u want them for the rest of time as a pair?
Is communication speaking for the chance to make it?
Feeling a spark fresh off their lips from a dime lil kiss.
Answer each question without pausing n be honest.
R they worth the time to show yourselfs finest?.........
Over the limit. Somethin jus ain't right.
Time has been taken. Losin the fight.
Hearts shifting. Back to me.
Shuttin down emotions. A different kinda free.
Stepping on the line. Killin the mood.
Stuck dead in the middle. Its a lonely room.
Feelins fade with time. Emptyin the notion.
Forgettin one piece. A dying devotion.
Turnin face shows no eyes. Backin down.
Letting go slowly. Losin the frown.
Worths past deciding. Beyond the dome.
Meanin stands confused. So fuckin alone.
Breaks n cracks appear. Stomped by feet.
Standin ground. Never in defeat.
Walkin away with pride. Loosenin the grip.
Situations gone to hell. Lips have flipped.
Stick in the dirt. One straight line.
Crossin boundaries. Left as mine.
Dead man walking. Tryin to live.
Purpose is gone. With nothin to give.
Ending the frustration. Now it's on.
Broken without care. Fixin the core.
Back to the lab. Piecin together twigs.
Drawin another line. U will we be missed.
Line after line. Fadin with time.
All by myself. Toein the line.
As fast as it races I try to calm the rush.
My heart skips beats when connected to ur touch.
Vibes make rhythm when close becomes flush.
Syncin the soul to the reality of true luv.
The flow of emotion will never keep hush.
Finding ur willingness with is clutch.
In between the pitter patter I turn to slush.
So mold my hearts pounding for ur dawning dusk.
I jus left my heart in room 206.
Finally got tired of bein hurt so I got pist.
I waited for u like u knew I would cuz ilu.
Yet what I jus did is me exhausted from the abuse.
N as I sat myself down n stood up n walked away.
I closed the door n never looked back as it begged.
I went numb n had a hard time moving my own legs.
I didn't notice if it was lookin out the window at me.
I know it needs me like I need u but u were jus a dream.
So it's there lonely n fighting for us if u wanna go get it.
Cuz I can't take it no more n sick of feeling like the shit.
I did pause in the van to write this lil diddle.
Wanted to go get true emotions as I fiddled.
But somehow somethin wouldn't let me turn around.
I guess I gotta plant my feet back on solid ground.
Goodbye 1! U own me til the day I die.
I've done everything I could n did more than try........
Poof. Fire rises from the fingertips.
From the heat sizzlin from the depths.
Burnin page after page the flame takes control.
Showin pain as chard as time put on hold.
Sweat drips with confusion. Emptyin the soul.
Singing the prints. Never to leave a trace.
Jus a spot on the pavement where luv was placed.
Words in red ink. Unreadable from burnt ashes.
Black dust blowing in the wind. With a stare that matches.
Dead to emotion. Heartbeats pause when blood boils.
Meltin the pen. Stainin hands burried in the soil.
Digging 6' down. To cool the body inflamed.
Out came the pressure. Causin nerves to go insane.
Torched feelings let loose. Unable to be read.
Engulfed went the letters. Poof, Up in smoke dead........
Come on back with reason.
Lets finish this beyond the next season.
Give me Ur best.
Gettin at the pressure of the test.
I'm ready to shred attention.
But did I forget to mention.
Third time around it's on.
Back on the same path, lets get goin.
Yet I gotta ask before we miss the moment.
Cuz I wanna spend a lifetime in luv as we hold it.
U see now that we know we have what it takes.
Been through all the dumb ass mistakes.
Bring it back to the basics.
Join me in front of realities day shift.
We got time to get it done.
Knowin we're madly in luv.
Come one one this shit has meaning.
Lets wake up from dreaming.
Bounce back into action.
N feed off one an others reaction.
Bring who u r cuz Ur accepted.
Both of us r defective.
A perfect pair makin a whole.
Lets give this world a show.
Ignore it n be who we r.
Never again to grow apart.
Better grab hold cuz I'm reaching.
With honest emotion feeling.
Take off with me now that we know the truth.
Help me put us to use........
One thing in this world I can never nor couldn't deny.
The only thing agreed upon between my heart n my mind.
Somethin I feel in happy tears falling to expressing honest emotions.
Its for sure til end of time we're wrapped in luvs devotion.
The certainty of comfort holds us always n forever.
Walkin with a passion that feeds our smiles together.
Bendin at the crease simultaneously feeling one an other.
Its a blessing to have a dream come true under heaven that hovers.
Days walk side by side as we stand in frame with truth.
N nights, they come alive with more than the purpose of use.
The one thing I can not hide is my luv for u my one!
I am me because u accepted me to be ur one!
Theres a parade letting loose in two hearts combining within.
Beating flush tryin to reach each other spread oh so thin.
Naked souls met with pure intentions is what we have.
Leaving an imprint with luvs design to last.
Can u feel it become the greatest thing you've ever known?
Its u n I as husband n wife now as a real friendship is shown.
The way a man walks is what determines how he stands.
Don't take him for granted, for he loves with unconditional hands.
Bendin to the break if necessary, with purpose in a woman's eyes.
For the better cause, hoping to be seen in true form, in due time.
Earnin his keep of her heart rounding out to become whole.
Please realize he's no sissy absorbing blows, he's jus no longer cold.
Feeling alive inside cuz he found a single individual he can not do without.
N he's not afraid to tell anyone as she pours from his mouth.
Smoothing his edges cuz the mind caught up with maturity at last.
A real man's ready to create a honest future makin a memorable past.
He knows what he is as his intention r expressed n shown daily.
Never underestimate real man's will cuz you'll never catch him fading.
To the point yet backing down to his woman to make her happy.
Doesn't mean he's wrong, he jus wants what he has always been lacking.
A real woman who knows what she has in her man.
Becomin one an others life long number one without doubt best fan.
Theres somethin in a man that will go to the ends of the earth.
Yet not for jus anyone but that one person he could never wanna hurt.
She's that weakness within that forms a soft spot deep in his soul.
N it's his woman that he wishes to forever be able to hold.
The secrets of a man is simple n not that confusing.
Jus know when he knows, he needs his woman to know what she knows, as they both know emotion r consuming.
Every man has that one woman that can make or break him.
For he only has one real chance at luv before his heart goes dim.
Anything she wants he will do without to make sure she smiles.
Cuz at the end of the day it all comes down to time spent is worth while.
Word of the wise.... if a man gives everything he has n everything he is.....
Woman u BETTER know ur at the top of his list!
Without u.
I'm dying inside.
Without u.
Emotions collide.
Without u.
I'm breaking down.
Without u.
Aches pound.
Without u.
Sleep is absent.
Without u.
Life is distant.
Without u.
Luv doesn't exist.
Without u.
Happiness is missed.
Without u.
Time spins slow.
Without u.
Pillows I hold.
Without u.
I am not me.
Without u.
I've lost my dream.
Without u.
I tell myself.
Without u, i need help!
Pound me down. Make me feel what I earn.
With ur crooked lil frown. Its my turn!
Take me back to bare necessities. Jus once.
Watch the man come outta me. On fire with clinched fists.
I'll fight for u. Round after round.
Strip me down to the truth. Knocked off my cloud.
I wanna be simple again. Innocent to ur luv.
Real n standing as a man. With a gentle embrace of trust.
Notice when under pressure I intense. Ready to get it.
Try me n I can show u worth at perfect sense. Time n again feeding the fix.
Buildin into what's been missed. Hovering the line.
I'm at ur beckon call with one wish. To have u in my life.
Life can try to break my will. It will always be us.
MANDY N BUTCHIE is my biggest thrill. Madly in luv!
Pay attention shuga britches. I'm on point.
I've been here earning my stitches. Healin my joints.
Off to the side of what matters the most. Can u feel me now?
Following my hearts beat to the shores of ur coast. Lemme show u how.
I'm a lifer knocking the reaper back to hell. For another day in ur eyes.
For u I fell. I wanna help with what u got goin on by ur side.
Shot after shot I absorb the inflicted blows. Scarin luvs design.
Tear me open as ur river flows. Without u in my life I resign.
To wind up lifeless. Unable to be the man I am when with u.
Undrstand n don't be so heartless. I'm a true friend choosing to luv u.
Cuz I can't help fate call upon us to make it. Forgiven yes.
Anytime u need sling the tongues shit. I'm here takin ur test.
