home is jus a word.

I'm 37 yrs in n don't even know my way back to the only place I called home.
Found it once n i swear, for the life of me I don't know what I've done.
Its a misplaced feeling once the hands time slips past confusin facts.
Cuz all that was ever wanted is to know if I could make her smile last.
Guess the answers of the heart came calling before promises were kept.
It was simple honesty n truth that fell short as I was in the smoke with my best.
I never had her the way she owned me in our time together shared so sweet.
I thought I swept her but found out it was I that had gotten knocked from my feet.
Treated so raw as I stood in the mirror wondering it doesn't feel like home n more.
A man shouldn't havta be abused the way I have n give his all from his core.
Reality set in n sat with frustration til the bomb was ignited.
Boom! There went everything I fought for as I couldn't fight it.
I lost my home n was replaces so fuckin quick as if I didn't matter.
It was the only pace in which felt as I do belonged listening to.her chatter.
Loyal til the end til I euploaded n released what was in the chest playing out in the mind.
After all I've done I was left without the one I considered mine.
Home is jus a word that doesn't exist in eyes strain from a distance.
Yet after all is said n done its the only place I cling to in my heart as I miss it......

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