Buried in my face...

It gets lonely being alone ninety percent of the time... Talkin to self is jus a reminder of the devotion that brought me to life playin out in my mind... There's neva anyone ever around that comforts what's goin to waste... N the smiles shown jus ain't neva enough to tame the emptiness buried my face... As hiding behind walls thinking of the moments of luv to live are like a dagger in my heart... N to to it off no one truly knows what I have to give in which is Adrian if yet another luv'r walkin away with what's left of my charm... All I am is words tappin at what's trapped within anymore... N as deep as I can reach there's no one here to feel me come the fuck around to bein draped in happinesses lure... It's more than I what to do with sittin alone tellin myself I'm jus waitin of shit to play out... Knowin it's a fuckin lie I try to express in the mirror that neva makes a sound... I'm so in tuned with myself I've forgotten how to fit in... As e secret I hold is I jus wanna find that passion that ran through my veins once upon a while ago that truly raised my grin... Yet I reside in confinement simply scared to allow anyone to touch that spark that makes me, me... I'm comin loose at the seems... Aching for the attention that can actually show me I'm something to miss... Tastin as I've said many times my name on her lips... It hurts livin in solitude as others have come n gone with interest I neva thought twice about as I keep it movin... N I ask myself, who am I foolin... But I'm in a situation where those closest to me collapsed as I was left here without them as my back was exposed to the betrayal of trust... N all I've eva wanted was to know I'm fuckin luv'd... Yeah I took a hit but I'm willin to explore my options if I could jus feel connected without the emotion at first... U know, find a common worth... A friend that ain't gonna change her mind n walk away... As I thought I'd neva write this shit due to it jus ain't me to openly cry in the rain... Mr. Chuckles always fuckin with everyone has learned how to cover up the truths that fight off this world... N all I want is jus over that I can call my girl... Without the addictions that steal luv in the makin that tends to die... Jus don't tell anyone I've fallen n gave up on tryin to find what's considered blind...