The way it hurts...

My guess is, u didn't want it has as bad as me... N that leaves me to believe you've fled back into my dreams... As I'm done running n have faced the pain... Seems no one can come closer to resemblin ur face... U went n faded n left me to slowly die... N even though I'm loving on, I love n live with a lie... Ain't no one u n that's jus the truth... So sad the drugs had to go n put a change on u... Time really does stand still when one is in luv... N there's no tellin when it's all said n done that the gettin over an other can ever trust... U fell away m never came back the same... N I had to watch u drift with hate as u say my name... A friend most is what I wanted to be... Yet, another lifestyle u joined n went n left even me... Standin in yrs of waitin on ur precious luv's return... N I must say, it too me some time to learn... That thing walkin around, no, it wasn't u... Bcuz behind ur eyes we know the truth... U jus hide from what u cannot control as if ur heart had been seized... N it's my arms that wrap around the silence I cannot speak... The way it hurts comforts the way things are... N we know damn well I've done my part... Holdin our luv above my head as u let me down... As bubbles called out for u goin on with ur life spittin venom from ur mouth... It's no secret I've played a fool for u... Even took the next best thing n have it use... Thinkin I couldn't be there for u as tome got away... I held on to what I could as honesty kicked in n recalled the expression upon my face... Help was neva on the way when I looked into ur eyes... Listening to u call for me as I came a runnin losin the feel of the hype... I shattered n found a way to prove me back together without a different woman to fix me healin... As there were a few I found appealin... It was jus that, u, started on my mind... In constant wonder of will I ever get to enjoy my wife... Lost with another version of u failin me... I fell apart as it was u that made it hard for me to breathe... I was there when my time was rang up... As these words hurt me to talk of the way I've luv'd... Bcuz got u I would've died too give u life... To express how here in our time I wanted u as mine... U were my joy n my free will goin at it behind the scenes... As I found myself standin alone unable to move my feet... Emotionally crippled I catered to the feel of never gettin what I wanted... Jus goes to show to me u were truly somethin... Changin everything with a cc simple are u ok... N I now u remember when u found out who I was as everything began to change... Mandy n Butchie at it jus before her crazy legs spun to fast... I couldn't chase u no more for u got caught up in my past... To far back u got stuck in memories that weren't that great... N my heart no longer with u would even be safe... Ur the woman I vowed to lunch. Until my dyin day... As I lay here alone thinking about better days... Cut loose by ur negligence runnin away from u n I rounding the fuck out as the best thing ever... As somehow the end pulled it's lever... It came way to soon for I want done showin u the way I felt deep in my heart... Turned to stone it's thawin from freeze u called art... The things u did to me were deliberate, yet I know why... U hand to push so I wouldn't hurt n that's what made me lose my mind... So as I try to relate to someone new I see bits if u in everyone of them as they come n they go... N all I want is to forget about the way it felt before u even turned cold... Damn near on point if it wasn't for the addiction that too u from our luv... As we can both admit that we lived between the way we touched... I miss u one n there's nothing I can do to rewind what been done... So go ahead n run... I know where I stand... Forever ur biggest fan..,