y is it?

y is it I can't feel the luv until u reach for me?
like empty cargo shipped off over seas.
sent for the fill so the vacant space didn't end up sittin still.
nothin hits the sweet spot like u had when u owned my emotional capsule.
y is it I'm anchored to the one thing that'll never be?
bobbin at the surface for everyone to see.
I'd drown if I didn't have ur memory unwillin to leave.
n at times it doesn't feel as if the air I can breathe.
cuz I'd luv for it to smell like u jus walked by.
as I stop u n hold u in my arms smilin in time.
y is it I can't shut this thing down that u touched?
with the distance that plays n only seems to strengthen the luv.
life without u jus isn't the same n is so fuckin weird.
even though I know u r slowly fadin into my yesteryears.
back when I said yes to the devotion u turned on.
I fear the day I stand face to face unable to hide my thorns.
the rose may have died but its frozen to remain in my chiseled chest.
I can't thaw unless it's to ur warmths feel with interest.
y is it the truth only spreads itself hidden in these lines no one can read?
tellin what's in the creases tucked to comfort the need.
cuz its u that I will forever want as kryptonite.
madly in luv yet I'll never be able to stand near the lies.
as the ache curves realities change that you'd r.i.p. Me apart.
it's harsh tryin to accept the facts that stand guard.
I lost the piece of me that stood against anyone that ever came along.
n to think of it, for u, I was wronged.
to luv u is to shred what I am n weave it into a rug at ur feet.
yeah I understand that it truly got that deep.
yet I want u in ways no other will ever do.
so y is it I'm the only one ur not afraid to lose?
is it u know I'll always stand by ur side no matter what?
cuz it hurts to be (THE ONE) u claim is ur true luv.
n I hear u came lookin for ur way back through me.
to me, I was told it seems u jus might not be done.
question is, how can I trust roulette is fun?