healin heart

u don't know the weight I carry.
the never endin ache of luv so scary.
the feelin alone plagues my healin heart.
Bein who I am, I know how I R!
a wasted drain clog buildin moisture as a man.
I'm jus in the way no matter where I stand.
shits seriously worth mentionin.
cuz I still don't believe this is happenin.
the strength it takes u couldn't lift.
u have no reason to release ur grip.
I'm lost in many ways left of center.
n there's one thing that should make everything better.
yet it's somethin no good for me.
I live as a reminder hanged at the end of leave.
I can't shake the thought that it'll end.
nor the fact in which way I'm willin to bend.
so don't vere off as I find my place.
cuz for me with a lil patience it's not to late.
I'm damn near whole again thanx to u.
the swing bridge is missin planks n rotted thru.
I'm tryin to whistle my nerves at ease.
yet I've ran outta tunes fulfillin my dreams.
I know the other side awaits with an easy touch.
but it wouldn't be wise for me to rush.
I've been healin as the breeze blows.
been caught in the rain as the water raised n its cold.
I don't know y I haven't swam to the other side other than the cliff I'd havta climb.
up here lookin on I can see anything comin in the angle attemptin to hide.
appears to be I've been tryin to lose my so called mind.
petrified I am, of the horror luv can become.
as I take my time suspended above the leap to fatal to overcome.
afraid not of the fire but the constant failure of another that's to true to soothe.
as I remain somewhere I have no business delivering friend let loose.
the fear wants to die as I can't seem to cuz I'm fuckin scared.
we all fall in together yet fall individually outta the way of what we thought cared.
so y hurry to get to the bitterness that doesn't wanna realize how I truly feel.
jus gimme a lil bit cuz I'm almost ready n healed.